Chapter 1

“I’m back!” I said, opening the door of the tiny cottage.

There was only one room in the wooden building, with large windows opening up on green rolling hills.

A two-people bed sat in a corner, a fireplace took a whole wall and a table for two was set near one of the windows.

The sun was shining softly in the sky, with just enough white clouds to give a nice contrast for the perfect blue.

“Welcome back.” A woman said, smiling at me as she raised her gaze from the book she was reading.

“It was short this time, what got you?” She asked, book still in hand.

“I fucked up with water I thought was clean. Turned out it was a byproduct of some kind of monster.” I answered, grimacing. It had been slightly painful, like a mild stomachache.

“How long?” She raised an eyebrow.

“A few hours, maybe half a day, I’m not sure. You know the cycle down there isn’t the same one that they’ve got on the surface.” I said, taking out my shoes and hanging them near the door.

“Indeed. You really have it hard.” She commented, and I shrugged.

“I’ve been down there so long, it’s not like I care anymore. I’m just happy I can get a break with you.” I dismissed her worries and sat with her.

“Hahaha. You’re really the only creature I know that looks forward to dying.” Death said with a laugh, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere to wipe my face. “Here, you still have some on you.” She quickly cleaned my mouth and I thanked her.

I just pucked myself to death, no wonder I was dirty.

“What are you reading this time?” I asked her after she finished with my mouth.

“You know it’s just a construct, right?” She smirked.

“Yes, but I’m still interested in what it represents to you right now.” I explained.

“You really don’t change, do you?”

“It’s hard to change when you’re dead all the time.”

She nodded. “I’m currently checking the progress of a large war involving Virtius and Togante.”

“They’re at it again?” I was surprised, it was the second time already!

“A new dungeon appeared at one of their common borders, and I say war, but right now it’s more a series of skirmishes than anything. The adventurer guild is mediating for them again, keep the tension low so far.” She explained.

“That’s good. You were in such a state last time, it hurts to see you like that.” It was true.

The last war between Virtius and Togante wasn’t a ‘series of skirmishes’, it had been an all-out war.

Village destroyed, city devastated, families torn apart.

The number of dead children, the number of lost lovers, of loving husbands’ souls which she had to help cross to the afterlife…

She was a mess, so much so that when I could, I was there for the most difficult crossing.

She pitied me because I was dying all the time, but if you asked me, her job was worse.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Let’s not talk about it.” She answered, her gaze going back to her book, or whatever it really was for her.

“Agreed. I’ll take a bath.”

“Sure.” She waved her hand and a bathtub full of hot water appeared in the middle of the room.

“Thanks.” I quickly stripped and let my weary body sink into the divine water.

Of course, since I was dead, my body wasn’t really weary, and I didn’t really need to actively undress to take my clothes away, but I preferred doing it that way, it felt better, and my soul really needed it.

“Ah.” I didn’t know how long I had been in the water when, suddenly, I felt a tugging in my chest.

“Urgh, seems like my dead timer is up.” I commented as my body started to dissolve.

“Try to stay alive this time.” She said jokingly, kissing my forehead.

“I won’t. See ya soon!”

“See you.” She waved me goodbye as I fell through the floor, my body pulling my soul back.

***

A constant, low-level ache coursing through my body told me I was back in the world of the living.

How lovely.

Hunger and thirst were already buzzing, like always when I came back, but they weren’t what they had been, not since I maxed my pain resistance.

Still, they could get pretty horrible if I pushed myself to the point I died of dehydration or lack of food, in particular because I maxed both the skills used to survive longer without eating or drinking, which acted like a multiplier for the pain the longer it went, so at least I tried to avoid those kinds of death.

I looked around. It was dark, but I also maxed Night Vision, so I could see as if the place was flooded by daylight.

A dungeon corridor, twenty meters large and just as tall, build in heavy slabs of stones. Same old same old.

At least my body hadn’t been moved to the open pit, which would have spelled for quite a long, horrible death.

Being digested isn’t cool, if you ever wondered, in particular with maxed Apnea and Acid Resistance, and with Slashing, Piercing and crushing resistance fused into Physical Resist All, maxed out, being chewed to death isn’t nice either.

I rose on my feet and felt another skill starting to work, namely Heroic Body, just so I could move.

With all my stat locked at 1 because of all my death, I couldn’t even move without those skills. How many times did I die because I was too slow or too weak to move my own body?

Not that it mattered much at first, because with both Intelligence and Determination at one, I wasn’t even aware of what was happening, I just felt the pain. 

At that time, the only moments of lucidity I had were when I was with Death. Not a good time.

Thankfully - in a way - now I had Legendary Soul to support me. That one took me quite some time to acquire.

Trap Sense automatically started warning me of all the traps littering the corridor but, honestly, after the time I spent down here, I didn’t even need it to avoid death by impalement or by curse. 

Yeah, this dungeon had nasty traps, mixing spells and physical attacks, like a bleeding spell applied to a volley of darts. One benign cut would become fatal if your body couldn’t close it, although it trained Regeneration quite well.

On that thought I started my daily routine. Stretching, breathing exercises and some dancing amidst the traps to avoid triggering any of them, somersaulting, rolling and sliding all around the place.

I sure looked like a madman for someone unaware of the surrounding traps.

As I moved, I looked for tiny cracks or ponds no bigger than three or four cm, where water could have condensed. Anything bigger could be poisoned and dirty, and I really didn’t want to die by emptying myself from both sides. Honestly, when I got maxed Poison and Disease resistance, I really thought food poisoning would be a thing of the past, but my constitution was just so low, and the floor where I was just so deep, that it didn’t make any difference for my daily life.

***

“I’m back.” I said, opening the door of the tiny cottage.

“Welcome back.” Death warmly said. “You stayed alive for a while there.” She commented.

Today her hair was dark, her eyes too, and she had skin white like a cadaver, making for a simple, if stunning, ensemble.

“Yes, I got lucky, I found some water that wasn’t polluted and the carcass of a beast with a bit of marrow left in broken bones.” I answered with energy.

“My my, someone is feeling good.” She said with a wry smile.

“Well, I died from a Venus Trap this time, hehehe.” I winked at her with a dirty smile.

“Ha! Hahaha, no wonder, you dirty hero!” She started laughing heartily and rolled her eyes.

“If I had to do a ranking of all the way I died, I would say that the Venus Trap is first by far. All the aphrodisiac they produce, and the numbing agents, it’s really a soft, peaceful death.” I nodded and said seriously.

“Ah yes, the peaceful death of cumming yourself till you die. So classy.” She retorted, using the same cold, analytic voice I had used just now, then we both burst out laughing.

Afterward I took a bath and cooked something for the both of us, then we slept and, well.

Back to the living, just to die again.