"I'm not? But, I thought I did? I drank the wine and then I passed out."

"Then why would you ask if you are dead?"

"...I just thought death would be different."

"Why?"

"I don't know why? It's just what I thought, okay. Who are you?"

"Who I am is of no consequence."

Malozar's eyes opened up some more as he struggled in his chair, but inevitably found himself unable to move.

Aleister stayed silent as he stared at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Aleister didn't respond.

"Please stop looking at me like that."

"Why don't you like the way I'm looking at you?"

"I don't know."

"Of course you know."

Malozar looked away and closed his eyes.

"So even in death, you choose to run away from the truth."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't need to lie to me. I know everything."

"You know nothing about me."

"If that's what you wish to believe then so be it. But then you forfeit your right to hold any regrets—coward."

During his interactions with Malozar's father, he learned a bit more of his past, even parts that Luo Yun's report didn't cover. As a child, Malozar and his family didn't live in Osetia. They lived in a farming village not too far from here, but still a distance away. Due to his orc heritage, some children often bullied him about his looks, and even though he towered over others, he never retaliated. His father and mother chose to relocate to Osetia for this very reason. Unfortunately, even though he was in a new and much more diverse area, Malozar never seemed to recover from the past and became even more of a recluse, and kept to himself, only focusing on his cooking and baking skills.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"You can call me whatever you wish. If I'm a coward in your eyes, then so be it."

Aleister didn't expect this reaction, making him change his questioning. "I'm not calling you anything. I'm simply telling you what you already tell yourself."

"That's not true. I'm not a coward."

"Yes, you are. You're afraid of both life and of death. If not a coward, then what are you."

Malozar struggled and wriggled around in his chair some more. "Who said I was afraid of living."

"You did. I was there when you died with the others next to you. You didn't even beg for your life."

"You're wrong. I begged from my life first."

"No, you simply asked for the antidote the first."

"Exactly. What's the difference?"

"When the opportunity came and there was a chance for you to obtain the final antidote, you didn't take it, you didn't even try to take it."

"I didn't have anything to offer for his vote. There was no chance I could get anything."

"That may have been the case, but you didn't even try for it."

"Neither did Stronvun. In fact, he gave up first."

"He only gave up if you choose to believe in the most surface most details. Did you not hear the words he spoke? His appeal to emotion. How he mentioned his family on numerous occasions? He knew who was in charge and would ultimately decide who got the antidote. His giving up was nothing more than a guise to trick the rest of you."

"But—I..." Malozar was at a loss for words.

Aleister didn't stop there. "So tell me, why is it that you don't wish to live?"

"I do want to live," Malozar whispered.

"Stop lying to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!" Malozar growled. "Just because at the end, I was too exhausted to think properly, and didn't have anything to offer, doesn't mean I don't wish to live."

"Then tell me, why do you wish to live?"

"Do I need a reason for living?"

"Yes. Everyone has a reason to live. But, what is yours?"

"I don't know."

"Then think about it. Tell me why you wish to live."

"Why? What does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't matter to me, but it should matter to you. Or are you okay with dying full of regret?"

Malozar sat in silence for a few minutes as Aleister continued to stare at him. He finally spoke up. "Sorry to disappoint you, but my reason for living isn't complex. I just want to make my parents proud."

"That's not it. That's not your reason for living. That's living for others, not living for yourself."

"Is it so wrong to live for others?"

"Is it wrong? Who am I to say, but living for others isn't the same as living for yourself. It leaves a gaping hole in the middle of your soul. Within wanting to live for other's you need to find the reason beyond that."

"There is no reason besides that."

"Repeating that won't change the facts. You can lie to me all you want, but you cannot hide the truth from yourself." Aleister raised his voice. "Now look me straight in the eyes and tell me—what do you live for. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?"

"I—I," Malozar stuttered for a second as a sudden trickle of tears crept down his face. "I want to be the best chef to have ever lived."