Exhaling a trail of white smoke, Axl leans against the wall. The black eyes mustered all the dazzling snowflakes silently. He has been through countless nights, guarding outside till his hands flushed from the coldness of winter winds. Countless battles followed, putting his life on the death scale until all that was left was just a wounded leftover. Killing was all he knew, yet why, at this very moment, did his beating heart ache? Another battle like countless before, then why let fear conquer his mind? Inhaling, Axl seeks a clear mind through the cold winds.
Since when, do I find snow this pretty?
Since when, do I yearn to live this badly?
Axl is afraid of himself more than anything else. For he knows, a shadow was always lurking behind his back. Patiently awaits the right time to take over, destroying everything he swore to protect. This fragile mind will soon go out of his grip. He is nothing but a monster. Don’t have such strength as Alderic or the brilliant Theodore, he is a weak person, awaiting his death sentence. He didn’t dare to let his mind wander, didn’t dare to close his eyes. He knows what awaits. The vivid images of him. Let out a self-mocking laugh, his fingers caressing the small knife hidden in the pocket. He has his own way to end everything.
This life was never worth mentioning.
But for you, it's survived.
“Axl? So you are here.” Reid comes in a soothing tone. A smile replied back “Miss me?” Instead of being mad like usual, perhaps his soft figure under the snow has mellowed his thoughts and his tone. “Just what I expected.” Reid put the scarf around Axl’s neck, covering the open collar. The night-like eyes are wide open in surprise as Reid’s hand tightens the scarf. “I won’t forgive you if you catch a cold.” Axl said nothing but a weak smile, leaving a silence between them. Something is different in Axl, he can tell. The mischievous man has gone with the wind, leaving behind a serene figure in the embrace of snow. A tender side he never sees. Even an ocean of emotions and questions stirred in his heart, only the voice of the snow falling quietly resounded.
“Reid.” His voice was lost in the snow. “If I died, can you forget me?” Reid turns to him in utter awe. Never could he believe it was Axl, who said such things. Was the upcoming storm scaring him? “What are you saying? You won’t die.” Warlike as he is, how could his fate end up melancholy in such way? Yet…what if… Reid buried the anxiety deep inside. “I will hate you till the end of my time. You better not die before me.” The concern in his eyes can’t be hidden as Axl chuckles softly at the response. How could he know, Axl already could foresee the answer. In the end, under that apathetic mask, is a kind man.
When I lost control, destroy everything, destroy everyone.
Can I count on you to stop me?
“Hey Reid!” Those were Axl's final words before realizing the other man's intent. Just as he turns himself back to the call, only to be met with a huge snowball, much to Axl's utter joy, nevertheless, it has seemingly gotten to fuel his frustration even higher and is now ready to backfire. In a swift move, his hands dug low into the freezing ground, somehow, able to craft an even larger snowball, in a solemn tone, he spoke, “Take this, you devil!” With enormous force, it landed hard on Axl’s still-laughing face and eventually sent him tumbling. After all, the one who got there first might not always end up in first place. In contrast to the snow-covered Axl, who is now huffing on his feet, this is quite a new aspect of Reid, indeed, for the very first time in a while, he is gifted a chance to witness Reid’s blossoming, ear-to-ear grin with his very own eyes. Then comes Axl, teasingly saying, “Hah, I will not let you go that easy!” Now chasing after Reid while, at the same time, throwing snowballs at each other.
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But why today, after the same snow that had taken away Reid’s mother, the same freezing, merciless snow that eagerly desired to pull him to the depths of despair, till now, full of warmth he never got a chance to taste, never dared to dream of? Nature doesn’t change, and the fact that blood is still dyed red under the very snow where his mother, his body once lay, he surely knows by heart. Yet, something inside him… Changed. Now, he will not see the snow as it used to be, instead, it is what it can be. Reid realizes there is so much more to this world, and there are those who have planted the seeds of love inside him, above all, to shield and to protect, to nurture the once fractured heart.
The shattered mirror can not heal itself on whole, but able to realize its true value if there are those who teach it so.
In the end, fate is kind enough to form a connection between two enemies, somehow, until these last seconds, side by side.
Running to Axl for revenge, Reid stumbles on his steps. Instead of falling against the hard ground, he falls into someone’s warm embrace. Snow keeps falling, sending soft snowflakes on his hair. Magically, soften his lines. In this close distance, he can see those black eyes clearer than ever. He can only see his own reflection. “Thank you, Axl. You can let me go now.” Ignoring Reid’s little struggles, Axl didn’t have the slightest thought of letting him go. Tighten the embrace, a soft voice fall upon him. “Thank you, for teaching me how hopeful this world is, how beautiful snow could be.” Reid silently carved those trembling words deep inside. Faintly feel the brokenness in his tone, his hands shyly caressing his back. It was him that the snow was no longer dyed in melancholy.
“The things I have said, though might sound reckless, but they were my true feelings.” An old memory waves back in Reid. On that night, deep in the forest, an arrogant statement by a man before the cruel pistol. I love you with all my enthusiasm, obsession, and craziness. They were enemies back then. Why would he mention it all of a sudden? “Axl?” Concern dyed his call. “Even if one day, I died. I will not resent your forgetfulness; I will resent our memories.” He whispers under his breath, only enough for him to hear. “For you have turned me into a person, a person who loves you.”
“I love you with all my dedication, devotion, and honesty.” The honest expression clearly said this is not a usual joke. Reid, in contrast, stood as still as if he had traversed to a faraway land, only when the two freezing hands of him embraced by a sudden stream of warmth from Axl did he return to reality. Confusion and realization, perhaps dancing on his face. In this very moment is a red as the autumn leaves Reid, who is now trying to dart his gaze away. Unfortunately, none of them work. He just wants to escape and never return. May the sudden sentence from that man have showered him with affection only sent him to defense? Years after years of suffering, how can Reid realize this emerging feeling turns out to be something? Reid, in a blink, retracts his hands and runs toward the edge of the forest.
Only this time, the emptied heart of Axl cannot afford to lose the other half again.
“Listen to me!” Yanking the running man back into his arms, he embraces Reid with all his might. On the snowy night when only the falling flakes company, is emerging the flame of yearning. For a while, they finally parted, and only to gaze upon one’s glistering eyes. World and words, seemingly saying goodbye, to let their breath meet, to let their skin touch.
…
His lips tasted like snow, is the first thought that crosses Reid’s mind. Like light snowflakes resting peacefully on his lips, Axl’s kiss gently falls upon him. One hand lifting up his chin, the other placed on his back, Axl cherishes him with utter care. Just like holding a treasure, his kiss dyed in a heartache tenderness. Who could have thought a warrior like him, could pour into his heart such gentleness? A kiss enough to break Reid to pieces. The two cold lips melt into one, harmonizing in the song of love. From the touch of his lips, the nectar of a blooming emotion lingered on the tips of his tongue. The taste of longing, love, and snow. Breaking apart, their remains breathe become one. Caressing his cheeks, Axl’s resting against Reid’s forehead.
Leaning on Axl, Reid whispered. “Will you wait for me, till I can finally call what this feeling is?”
“Forever.”