As the used-to-be Grandpa looked down at the ocean he suddenly realized something........

"NOOOOOOOOOO"

.......that he was a worm.

'How in the hell did this happen? All I remember is a sharp pain in my head and then poof! Everything fades to black. Maybe it's just a dream, maybe I survived that shot and right now some hot nurse is fondling me while I'm in a coma trying to wake me up. Yeah that's it! I'm in a coma! I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy at all!' 

"Ahem, are you done rambling over there worm?"

The worm looked up and saw a battalion of small, glowing, winged people. Some wore long flourishing robes that showed off every curve, others wore shiny plate armor and carried weapons of different sizes and shapes. His training as a soldier in the Vietnam war taught him to analyze every soldier, enemy or ally, and infer what would be the best way to defeat them. He looked at the glowing soldiers and realized something so astonshing to him, that if he had a dick it would instantly shrivel up and retreat.

'They have no guns! The stuff they wear looks like someone robbed a museum, a very cheap museum at that.'

"Are you implying that the finest soldiers in all of Ramnagoria are some cheap mercenaries that you can find in any run down tavern?"

And at the head of the army, gently floating in the air was the most eye-catching one of all. Dazzling hair as white as snow rolled down her back, ears as sharp as knives, and a robe so golden and green you'd believe it was made of sunlight and nature itself. And that crown! Who could forget the crown befitting such a person that she basically screams royalty.

But among all those other things, the most eye catching part of her was her face. The angels themselves feel such pride when they gaze down at her face. Cold yet sincere like a mountain spring. 

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

'Damn I can't wait to get in her pants. She probably has a white bush too, it'd be like playing in the snow!'

"Ah! You shall do no such thing you vile creature!" Her face flushed in anger the bedazzling, floating women took a sword from a soldier. "I would slay you here and now if I was not so curious as to where you came from!" She said as she pointed the sword at the worm's neck? Head? Tail? She didn't know what to make of this disgustingly lewd earthworm. 

"Tell me what I want to know and I may let you live!"

It just dawned on the Grandpa worm that he had no mouth! How could he tell her what had happened to him ever since his brain fucked the bullet? But then how did she know what he said?

"Oh you slimy imbecile, I can read your thoughts, and everyone else's who are in my domain."

' Right that makes perfect sense. I knew it, I'm headed to the Looney bin. Population, me and every single person who dreamt they became a worm just to be harrased by a sexier version of Tinkerbell. Well I'm already headed there so I might as well play along now. Ahem, my name is........my name is.......... Fuck I forgot it! Anyway just call me Grandpa Worm, and this might sound crazy but I'm from another world.' 

"Preposterous! I can't believe such a lewd creature has developed the magic of inter-dimensional travel!"

'Look here b*tch, the only thing that is preposterous is that ass you got! It's almost flatter than your breasts! Don't give me that look, I can see those fruits you stuffed in there. Shit my 10 year old grandson has more cleavage than you'

If her face resembled a fire earlier, now it looks like a volcano about to explode. 

"DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!" The 5 inch queen screeched.

She slashed the soldier's sword down upon the vile worm with all her might. It moved so fast it was as if light itself became a blade. And just about when the blade reached the worm she felt a shock. A shock so hard she ended up being knocked back into the ocean behind her.

[Host has satisfied criteria for system to be awakened.]

[Near-death experience: Accomplished]

[Reincarnation: Accomplished]

[Extremely attractive and vengeful enemy: Accomplished]

[Starting system. Hello, and welcome to the One Hundred Million Year Evolution system. A system that helps the weakest creatures alive go through a process which should take a hundred million years]

[Host has met the criteria to learn the skill 'Fool's Luck'. Would you like to learn it?]