After that night, Aspen's mood was different; they were more paranoid, and any slight noise would end up in something being burned and then put out when they saw it wasn't human shaped. We finally made it to the final village. Everyone around us seemed to be worried about us walking around, but no one else seemed to care, so I looked ahead, trying to pretend I didn't feel all of their stares.

As I approached the palace, I looked up; the sun peaking through the rain clouds lit it up, making the whole place glow. It was more beautiful than I imagined it to be. The walls were made of white stone, with bright green vines twisted around them. On the tops of every tower, there was a light blue glass that looked like crystal from the sun.

As we walked through the wooden bridge towards the large doors to enter the palace, someone ran out so fast they were a blur. They went straight towards Aspen to attack them with what looked like a hug, but Aspen moved away, sending them face first into the dirt behind us.

I looked down at the person, confused about who it could be, but their lavender hair gave it away—it was Valen. They jumped up, and on their way to the front of the group, they smacked the back of Aspen's head and whispered something to them. When they got in front of us, they had a huge smile on their face, showing fangs; their wings and horns were gone, but they were in nearly the same outfit as before, but this time they had a gold armband with a cross on it on their right upper arm and a red cape draped over their left shoulder.

“Hello to all who don't know me yet. I'm Valen, and I was sent by the queen to greet you guys. Follow me; I'll first be showing you to your rooms to be washed up and given a change of clothes, and then you'll meet with her.”

Valen walked in with all of us following behind them. We were led into a stone hallway with candles lighting the path. It was strange how there were candles, as from the outside, it seemed like there would be more than enough light. The area was cold, and every step and noise echoed—I swear I could hear someone's heartbeat as we walked. One by one, we were given rooms; Valen showed me to mine after getting Leta, Tex, Rune, and Ben into theirs. They just pushed me into the room, shutting the door and saying nothing before then. I looked around, seeing a bed in the corner, a desk, and a closet, and through another door there was a room with a large tub already full of what looked like hot water.

I removed my mud covered clothes and put them to the side in a basket, folded neatly. I climbed into the tub, sitting down and holding my knees, letting the water warm up my frozen skin, and I was alone for the first time in a long time. I leaned back, looking at the ceiling. The stones were all slightly different shades of gray, with some green mixed in on a few, like the outside of the palace. I closed my eyes, just wanting a second to think. I hoped I could just have the moment and not have one of those flashes again, but my hopes were for nothing as the blinding white light showed up.

I looked around and saw a small girl spinning around quickly with a young boy who had orange hair. They were both laughing, falling every few seconds but getting up and spinning again. I looked in front of me and saw Aspen; they were in a suit, and from what I could see, it looked like we were at a wedding and dancing. I never knew how to dance, yet in the life I'm seeing now, it seemed as if I was better than Aspen at it. This place must be the same as my other memories, maybe a little before or after the time I saw before.

I could see Aspen's lips moving, but no sound was coming out. The world was twisted away just as fast as it had appeared, and I was back in a dark room. I couldn't see anything besides the mirror. It was the same as my last dream, but now the mirror was broken. I walked closer to where the mirror was, wondering if my reflection would reach out once more to attempt to kill me. In the water, I could see a light trail of blood. When I faced the mirror, at first it was still broken, but then it was back to normal a second later. I looked at myself; my reflection was just me. But this time, instead of in front of me, that demon version of myself was behind me. I wanted to turn around, to see if it was really there, to run away, but I was paralyzed once again. It stretched its hand in front of me, using a long nail to cut my throat open, spraying blood on the glass and blurring my image.

My eyes snapped open and I was back in the tub, but now I was underwater. I shot up out of the water, feeling as if my lungs were going to explode any second from lack of air. I leaned over the side of the tub, gasping for air. I put a hand over my throat where it had been cut. I still felt the pain, but there was nothing there; it was all the same as it had been moments before.

I looked towards the bathroom door when there was a knock “Elva, are you okay in there?”

It was Aspen

“Yes, I'm fine!” I called out, still breathing heavily.

“Alright, well, everyone is out in the hall waiting for you.”

“Okay, I'll be out soon.”

I slowly stood up from the water, feeling that it was now cold. How long had I been out? It didn't matter now. I got out and looked around the room. I grabbed a white towel from the corner chair and wrapped it around myself before walking to the door. I cracked it open, looking out into the bedroom and seeing that Aspen was now gone; the room was just as it had been before. I walked out fully and saw that a purple dress had been laid out on the bed. I quickly put the dress on and looked over at myself in the mirror; the dress fit perfectly. The top had gold stitching, and the skirt had a black lace fabric over the purple silk. It was strange how perfectly sized it felt—there was no way they could have known my size.

I shrugged off the thought and put the towel over my head, trying to dry my hair as much as I possibly could, not wanting it to drip all over the dress. I used my fingers to brush through it, smoothing it out to look presentable before walking out into the hall.

Everyone had been dressed a lot nicer than normal. Ben, Rune, Tex, and Aspen all had suits on and their hair styled in what seemed like an attempt to look more fancy than normal. Except for Ben, whose hair was the same as always; no matter what you tried to do to his hair, it would go back to normal in under a second. I looked over and saw Leta in a red dress similar to her normal one but more expensive looking, with gold floral lace wrapped around the top.

“Wow, you all look less like we found you in a dumpster! All of you, follow me, please,” Valen said from down the hall, waving us over.

We were led down another stone hall, the cold air now growing warm. We turned a corner, and everything was different, with marble floors and stone walls. The stones were a lot nicer than the ones from before; they looked as if they were each scrubbed by hand every day, a bright white color just like outside. Valen stopped at two large white and black marbled doors with golden handles.

It looked as if it would take ten men to push the doors open, but Valen swung them open with no trouble, letting us all in before coming in behind us. We all stood in a strange line, side by side, like we were going to be made to hold hands. I looked around and saw two thrones at the front, both empty; there were red curtains hanging to the side of them with more gold trim. Valen moved up to the front of the room near the thrones, there was an awkward silence for a few seconds broken by an echo of footsteps that sounded like someone running through a hallway on the side of the thrones.

We all watched as a young girl around my age with long blue hair ran into the room from the dark hallway. Her hair looked a mess, and she was carrying a flower crown in one hand while trying to hold her lavender dress up with the other, but instead of making it to her seat, she tripped on her dress and fell face first onto the floor. Valen moved to help her, but before they could get close, Ben was already next to her, holding out a hand to help her up.

“I'm so sorry,” she mumbled, “and thank you,” she said quickly as she took Ben's hand and stood up.

“No problem, m'lady, don't hurt yourself falling for me,” Ben said with a smile.

The girl's face turned bright red as she walked over to Valen, whispering to them. Valen put a golden crown on her head, trying to smooth down her hair, picking leaves out of it and tossing them on the floor while the girl put the flower crown on Valen. Ben went to stand in his place, and I saw a vine stretch out and trip him before disappearing. Ben laid on the floor for a moment before slowly standing up and quickly getting to his place, his hair now even more of a mess than before. He looked confused about how he could have tripped, but didn't seem to care.

The girl sat on the throne and looked at all of us. “Hello, welcome to the palace of gods. I am Princess—Queen Adelphia. I heard from my guard, Valen, that you had all been in a demon attack recently?”

“Yes, there have been multiple demon attacks in the small villages near the edge of your kingdom,” Aspen said loudly. “We came to warn you.”

“I see, there must be some place where the barrier broke then. The portal in our palace has not been touched in years; the seal is still strong. For now you all can stay here with me and my brother Calix as thank you for the information.”

As soon as Adelphia had said his name, a young boy around the age of seventeen walked out and sat on the throne next to Adelphia. His hair was wavy and blond, and he had red eyes. He didn't look too happy about being there, more like he wanted to be anywhere else. His face seemed to light up when he made eye contact with Tex. I guess they knew each other.

“You may all go to your new rooms or walk around the palace if you'd like. Valen and I can give a tour of the area too, if anyone would prefer that. We have no rules or limits here besides to stay out of the dungeons where we keep the portal,''

“I'd love a tour from you,” Ben said with a smile, not letting anyone else talk.

“Well then, I shall give you one,” Adelphia responded. “Oh, but first, I'd like to speak with some of you separately; my brother here will also be helping. We need everyone's say on what happened with the demons separately just to make sure your stories match up.”

After Adelphia had finished talking, Valen stepped down from where they were, leading us out of the room. We were sent down a new hallway. The floor was made out of stone, but it was now polished and flat, unlike the stone we had walked on before. It was strange how cold it had gotten once we got down the hall; it was as if every hall would be freezing like this, unlike the area we had just been in, which was as warm as a summer day. Leta, Rune, and Ben were all given rooms spaced away from each other. Valen opened a door and pulled me and Aspen inside quickly, as if they wanted to hide us.

“Okay, listen, you two. Adelphia knows who you are to her, Aspen. And you, Elva, she only knows what your past self looks like, but you're practically the same as then,” Valen said quickly while looking at both of us, then they looked at Aspen. “Do your magical bullshit to give Elva back her memories now. I'm done waiting for you to decide, and she won't get anywhere with them coming back naturally. If Adelphia finds out she doesn't remember, it'll break her heart. You two practically raised her after the escape.”

“I told you to give me a few days; it can't just be right away,” Aspen whispered.

“I gave you one day, do it now.”

“I will not. Adelphia understands perfectly well what happens; she won't be bothered.”

Valen looked as if they had a whole argument ready as to why Aspen should do as they say, but before any of that could be said, there was a knock at the door. All of our heads had turned in that direction, and when I looked back, Valen was gone, the window wide open, letting in the smell of rain and wet soil. The door opened, and in the doorway stood Adelphia. I backed up a little and left Aspen in the walkway, not sure what to do or say.

I watched as Adelphia walked forward, the door closing behind her, and she stopped in front of Aspen, looking up at them. For a moment, there was just silence. It looked as if Adelphia was going to cry and as if Aspen wanted to run. Not even a second later, Adelphia hugged Aspen and started to sob. Aspen looked at me for help, but I just stood there, giving them a look as if to say, hug her back.

Aspen eventually did hug her back, which made Adelphia cry even more.the two of them looked so similar, almost as if they were siblings or even twins. I knew they were siblings from what I was told, but it was still strange to finally see. I never expected them to look almost the same.

“Valen told me you'd never come back,” Adelphia said in between sobs.

“Valen says that to everyone. You shouldn't listen to them. I'm surprised you still remember me; you were barely seven when I left,” Aspen said, petting her head to comfort her.

“Valen used to shift into you a lot when I was a kid; they'd do funny impressions and tell me all these stories of stuff you did together.”

Aspen sighed, “Of course they did that.”

“They told me you left to look for something really important; they said you never wanted to come back and find me, that I was stuck here, and how you didn't want me. At first, they told me you had died, but a few years ago, they told me you were immortal. But they also said I used to be immortal, and you had erased my memories.”

“What?” Aspen asked quietly, almost like they were in shock.

“Is it true?” Adelphia questioned, looking up at Aspen now.

“HEY!” Valen yelled from outside before jumping through the window, “You weren't supposed to tell on me like that, kid!”

“I just wanted to know if it was true.”

“Would I lie? Wait, don't answer that. I'll leave you two to talk; I have some business with this lovely lady over here,” Valen said in a joking tone before grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the room.

I looked back, and Adelphia was looking at me as if she were trying to recognize me, while Aspen looked as if they were going to burst into flames from how angry they were. I looked ahead, following behind Valen as they dragged me away. We walked quickly down the hall in silence. I wondered what Valen had planned or what they wanted to say to me. Did they actually need to talk to me, or was it just an excuse to escape Aspen's wrath? Valen opened the door to a dark room and let me in first before following behind me and lighting a small flame in their hand.

“Have you had any rest in the last two days?” Valen asked me quietly.

“I didn't sleep last night, but I did the night before...why?” I asked, even more confused now.

“Good enough.”

Valen took a step towards me, leaving the flame to float in the air. They put one hand on my back and one over my eyes. I wanted to ask what was going on, but I felt my body suddenly go limp. I looked around me; Valen and their hand were now gone, but there were streams of different lights and colors all around me. If I focused enough, I could almost make out a memory, or what looked like a memory. So many lives were all flashing around me.

My eyes opened, and I looked around. I was sitting in a field full of flowers and green grass.

“Who are you?” a girl behind me asked.

“My name's Elva,” I heard myself say.

I turned around, and there was a girl who looked physically fifteen or sixteen. She had long pale blue hair and jade green eyes; her eyes were so pretty. They made me feel relaxed and happy, but there was a sadness behind them. I felt this sudden urge to just hug her and be her friend, but I held back. I also had no control over my body this time; normally I'd be able to at least move my head freely, but I couldn't do any of that now.

“Are you a lower level god?” the girl asked.

“No, my mother is Maertisa.”

“O-oh, I'm sorry,” she said with a bow.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I was rude; my mother says if I'm rude to the higher family, they'll execute us.”

“Really?” I asked before laughing, “We won't execute you; that was just a silly rumor.”

The girl walked over and sat down next to me before hugging her knees.

“What's your name?” I asked.

“It's Aspen. My mother is Vix, my father is Alen, and my older brother is Foxx. I also have a baby sister, but you might not have heard of her; my parents don't like to bring us out.”

“You're from the second highest family?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“I've met your parents and brother; they never mentioned you or your sister, though. Why?”

“Oh, I'm not supposed to be known yet, or really at all. My parents want my brother married out of our family, while I'm supposed to stay and be the new family head. I don't know their plans for my sister.”

“That doesn't sound very fun,” I said in a soft tone.

So this is who Aspen was before everything. I never knew they were born a girl; well, I guess I did know, just not until now. It wasn't that strange to me, though. They never looked like a boy or a girl, so I knew they had to be born one of them. I just never would have asked.

“It doesn't? I thought this was normal for every family in the higher levels.”

“No, it's not. Is this why you look sad?”

“I'm not sad?”

“Yes you are. I can see from your eyes.”

“You can see that?”

“Yeah, my mother says it's a special magic that not everyone has, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone that.”

“That must make talking to people easy.”

“Not really. I don't go out of my house much; my mother doesn't trust the lower families, especially after the stuff about my dad came out.”

“She's smart for that; they're all horrible.”

“They are?”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“I've experienced it firsthand.”

“Is that what hurt you?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” they mumbled, turning away from me.

When the pain was mentioned, it looked as if Aspen had put up a wall between us. They looked down with this sad expression, like they didn't want to leave, and before I knew what was happening, I had moved and was now hugging Aspen tightly. That was strange; why did I do this?

I opened my eyes and looked up; Valen was standing over me, the room was still dark, and I felt dizzy and out of breath. Did I pass out? Wait, that's not what happened. Valen had given me everything back—more like forced it on me but still gave it back. I slowly sat up off of the cold stone floor and put a hand on my head. Why was it all still so foggy?

“You were out for about an hour, if that's what you were wondering.”

“Was all of that my memories?” I asked while looking up at Valen.

Valen kneeled down in front of me. “Yeah, that was everything from the past two thousand seven hundred years, all of your lives.”

“My head feels strange.”

“I'm not surprised; you're normally supposed to sleep for three full days before we give them back because of how much has to come back, but I'm just glad it didn't kill you this time.”

“So that's what killed me in my second life.”

“It worked!” Valen yelled out.

“Why are you so surprised?”

“Well, I've never done it before; I've just watched it get done. Do you remember it all?”

“I don't know; it's all there I guess, but when I try to think about it, it seems so blurry, and far away.”

I looked down and closed my eyes. There were so many new things in my head now. Some stuff I still couldn't fully understand; the memories coming back just led to more questions. I slowly stood up to leave the room, but as I took a step, my head felt weird, and I started to fall. There was a stabbing pain, and the way the room was spinning didn't seem too good. I felt Valen grab on to me, holding me up to walk.

“I'll take you to your room to rest; you should try not to move much for a while,” Valen said quietly. They sounded worried.

Valen opened the door, helping me out, and we both walked down the hall. I looked outside one of the windows we passed and could see the sky was gray and cloudy; it looked as if there would be rain again. I closed my eyes, letting Valen lead the way to the room. We eventually stopped, and I opened my eyes when I heard a door open. The area was blurry and spinning now.

Valen led me into the room and helped me onto the bed. It was a pretty large, or at least a medium sized bed; it looked as if it could fit two or three people. I didn't bother with a blanket. I just needed to close my eyes. The pain in my head was getting worse, and I felt nauseous. My whole body ached now, and I could feel tears fall down my face. I could feel myself start to shake. I could feel the bed sinking down from what I guessed was Valen sitting down next to me; they put a hand on my head and brushed my hair out of my face.

“I'm sorry, Elva; this part is always the worst. You're feeling all of your past deaths at once. Just try to handle it; it will go away soon,” Valen said quietly.

“I-is this normal?” I managed to ask after a moment.

“Yeah, normally someone with healing magic would be nearby during this to stop the pain, but I don't know of any here; I wish I could have found one for you.”

It just kept getting worse. At first, it was just body aches, and then it moved on to stabbing pain everywhere. After that, it felt as if my body was on fire. It all burned, and none of the pain from before went away. I opened my eyes, and everything was a bright white. I closed my eyes again, squeezing them shut. I felt hot and frozen at the same time. It was all so overwhelming, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this. I could hear the window get pushed open and someone walking in. I tried to open my eyes and look, but it did nothing but hurt again.

“Pandora! You came to visit!” Valen yelled out, and moved from where they were.

“You idiot, what did you do to her?” I heard a woman ask.

“I only gave her back her memories.”

“You're not supposed to do that without one of the higher gods near her. I know it's been six hundred years since I was here, but you should remember this.”

“I know, but I thought it would be fine this time.”

“Where's Aspen? Aren't they the one who normally does this?”

“They were taking too long to give them back, so I did it for them.”

“Do they know?”

“No…”

I heard what sounded like a slap, but maybe I was wrong? It didn't matter; I just wanted this pain to go away. I felt the bed move some as someone sat in front of me and put a cold hand on my head.

“Hi Elva. I don't know if you remember me yet, but I'll help the pain go away; just hold on for a few more seconds.”

In under a second, all the pain was gone, and everything went black. I opened my eyes, and it looked as if I was in a ballroom now. The walls and floor were made of white marble and gold, and there were red curtains on all the walls, pulled back and held to the side with gold bands. The room was full of different kinds of people with different kinds of horns and wings, all in fancy clothing, dancing around, moving around each other perfectly, with different kinds of animal masks on.

I looked to the side, seeing a woman with white hair and pale skin: the one I saw in my memory before—and next to her was a young girl who had long white hair with blue stripes. I could recognize her as my sister, but what was her name? I looked ahead of me and saw a family approach us—the woman with blue hair and the man with black. Behind them was a boy who looked to be twenty three, with red hair and green eyes, and behind him was…Aspen. They looked like the Aspen I knew from my most recent life, but now they had black horns and one white and one black feathered wing, tucked behind their back.

“This is my son Foxx, who you've met before,” the lady with blue hair said, motioning to the boy.

“You have two sons?” my mother asked.

“No, that is my daughter Aspen. She's just going through a confusing stage of her life right now; we apologize for the mix up.”

When the lady said that, I could see Aspen look down as if the words hurt them, but they couldn't protect or defend themself. I knew they couldn't, or something bad would happen to them, but I wasn't sure what at the moment; it was all so confusing.

“Aspen isn't a girl. Please refer to them as they'd like,” I stated, not caring how loud I was, as the people around us wouldn't pay attention.

“Excuse me?” the woman asked, in an offended tone.

“Is this true, Aspen?” my mother asked.

“No-” the man with black hair started to say.

“I asked Aspen, not you, Alen.”

“Yes, I'd prefer not to be referred to as female or male,” Aspen said from behind their parents.

“Alright, I will remember that,” my mother said with a smile. “Now, Vix, I'd like to speak to you about some plan changes.”

“Changes? What changes? I thought we had agreed on the marriage between Foxx and your daughter Elva; it has been set up since she was brought here.”

“Yes, that was the plan, but your son is far too old for my daughter. Based on tradition, I had agreed because you had told me you only had your son-”

“And now you go against the tradition? Alen asked, interrupting her.

“No, I'm simply changing who my daughter will marry,” my mother said before leaning down to be at face level with my sister. “Pandora, why don't you go play with your friends?” she whispered.

I watched as the small girl ran down the steps and over to a group of children around her age.

“Is there another family you've found better than ours? Do they have a higher god level than our son?” Vix asked impatiently.

“No. There is no other family. I'll have your daughter marry Aspen. They seem to be good friends, and Aspen being non binary means they are qualified for the marriage. If I had known of Aspen before this moment, they would have been the first choice, no matter the gender.”

“No. I will not have this. As I said before, Aspen is just confused; she will get over this phase soon. Let's keep the plan of Foxx being married off to your family; he has been raised for this and knows all he needs to.”

“As I said, Aspen is to be referred to however they'd like to be, and if you do not calm yourself, Vix, I will have you removed.”

“Mother, let me handle this,” Foxx whispered to Vix before standing a step closer to us. “Ma'am, even if Aspen and Elva were to be married as you suggested, there would be a low chance of a new generation from the two. As Aspen was female, that means she can't reproduce with another female, so there would be no future for your family.”

“If I was as dumb as you think, then I would agree, young Foxx, but as you and you Aspen have forty-five percent demon in you, you have a better ability of shifting your bodies, and it seems Aspen has already gotten good at it, as they don't look like a female or male. It's a perfect balance, so I have no doubt that if they choose, they can do what you speak of. But that is not something important; if they choose to have no children, then when it's time to pass the title on, Elva's sister Pandora can take over and do as she pleases. If our bloodline dies out, then oh well. There are other ways of passing on the throne. I never intended to have my children to continue with our family's bloodline, besides, I always intended to stop your marriage before it were to happen.”

“I understand,” Foxx said, annoyed.

“This is wrong! Two women together is unnatural and shouldn't be allowed! How could you allow this? You are corrupting the purity of the throne even more now!” Vix yelled out, practically shaking with anger. “First you make them half mortal, and now this!”

“Vix, if you do not calm yourself, then I will banish you from the high grounds.”

As I made eye contact with Foxx, the world twisted away, with the music that was once playing getting warped and getting quieter until I couldn't hear it anymore. I opened my eyes, seeing that I was back in the room from before. Valen was now gone, and when I sat up, the pain was gone. Did I dream it all, or did it really happen? When I looked around, I saw a girl there. She looked as if she were seventeen or eighteen, and she had long white and blue hair, similar to the girl in my dream.

When I moved to get off the bed, she turned around from where she was, a small smile on her face. She had white demon wings and black horns. She was in a long black dress with a slit on the right side of the skirt. She rushed over and sat at the edge of the bed in front of me.

“Do you feel any pain, Elva? How are you feeling?” she asked.

“No, I feel fine…who are you?”

“Oh…you don't remember yet. My name is Pandora, I-” she started to say.

As soon as she said her name, I remembered the girl in my dream was named Pandora. The dream must have been another memory.

“You're my younger sister?”

“You do remember!” she cried out happily.

“Not fully; I'm still getting things back from what seems to be my first life.”

“Valen isn't good at giving back memories, so that must be why you don't have everything.”

“Hey…I've been practicing for a long time!” Valen shouted from the other side of the room. They looked at us with sad puppy eyes.

“Valen, get back in the corner.”

“I am in the corner,” Valen whined in defense before they fully turned around.

“Ignore them; I've tried to get them to be more mature and think of these things before acting, but it seems their time here reversed all of it,” Pandora said before sighing. “I need to go back now; if you need anything, please do not go to Valen,” she said, her smile back again.

Pandora leaned out of the window as I stood up. I could tell she was hesitant to leave, but she also didn't want to stay. She turned around quickly, pulling me into a hug. After a moment, I hugged her back. Her hair felt soft like a feather, and she smelled like roses, just like Rory did. She held me at an arm's length, looking at my face, her pink eyes watery as she stared at me. She let me go and walked over to Valen, looking down at them. Valen glanced up with a look of innocence before Pandora leaned down, putting a hand on their cheek with a soft smile, and kissed their forehead.

“Please behave,” she said quietly before walking to the window and jumping out, flying off above the gray clouds.

Valen walked from the corner to the door with a grin on their now red face “i need to go back to work, i'll send someone to check on you later today”

I watched as Valen left the room, the wooden door closing slowly behind them. I laid back and stared up at the ceiling. I didn't feel any different, but I learned new things I didn't know before. It was strange. I closed my eyes, putting a hand over them to block out the rays of sun shining into the room.

I let out a sigh and sat up after a few minutes. I wanted to sleep, but I just felt even more exhausted now. I rubbed my eyes before looking outside. I could see it had started to rain; the drops of water hitting the windows were making light tapping noises. I didn't expect the rain, as it had just been sunny out, but I guess the weather was strange.

I stood up and walked over to the balcony, opening the glass doors and stepping out. After leaving the doorway, I could feel the raindrops hitting any exposed skin I had. The air was cold, and so was the rain, but it didn't matter. I walked over to the railing and grabbed onto it as I looked up and closed my eyes. The rain hitting my face felt good; it was the first time I could not think about anything or have to worry about anyone else. I took a deep breath, just needing a minute to breathe without something going wrong, without someone coming to tell me about some new thing.

It was strange, but, as cool as it all was, I was tired of it all—tired of new things showing up and having to move every day just to hide. I hated these memories of lives I had that I could never finish, and i hated that i suddenly had all of these new feelings about the people who were showing up, it was torture to me. They all knew me, and I knew them, but I had only just met them at the same time. It all felt so wrong.

“You'll get sick standing out there,” I heard someone say behind me.

I opened my eyes and turned around to see Aspen standing there; now their hair was normal, and they had taken off the suit jacket, leaving only the white button up shirt and the black pants.

“I didn't hear you come in.”

“You should start paying more attention before your carelessness gets you hurt.”

“Wow, so it's an insult to Elva day. Why are you here?” I asked before looking back up at the sky.

“You went missing for a full twenty four hours, and no one had seen you; just came to make sure you were alive.”

“I was with Valen- wait twenty four hours?”

“Yeah, wait, what happened? Did Valen do something?”

“No, I just felt sick, so they brought me to my room; I guess it just didn't feel like that long.”

“If you're sick, you should rest, not stand out in the rain,” Aspen said as they leaned against the door frame. “You'll get worse being out there.”

“I'll be fine; besides, I feel better now.”

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and turn me around. I opened my eyes and could see Aspen basically in my face; they put a hand on my forehead and moved my bangs. At that moment, I felt my heart go from calm to beating quickly. Why was it doing this? Was I still sick and just didn't realize it? I didn't feel this way before when I was around them.

“Your face is red,” Aspen whispered.

I moved away from Aspen quickly and stood against the railing. “Y-yeah, maybe I am sick, so you should go before you get sick too,” I said before giving a fake cough. I wanted them to leave, but at the same time, I wanted to stay with them forever.

I watched as Aspen moved closer to me, now in my face like before. “I can't get sick.”

They put a hand on my back and one on my cheek. I looked everywhere but their face, not knowing how to react or what to say. My heart was pounding so fast I expected it to pop out of my chest, while I felt my face grow hot. When I looked at their face, Aspen had moved even closer to me, and that made me panic even more. Were they going to kiss me? I was not ready for that.

“HEY ELVA, YOU DEAD?” Valen yelled.

I turned my head away from Aspen and could see Valen looking around the room. Then their eyes landed on us. I heard Aspen sigh as they moved away from me, and Valen had this huge dumb smile on their face.

“Ooooooooo! Were you about to kiss!? Wait, don't stop; can I join?” Valen said excitedly, joking on the last part.

“Go away, Valen,” Aspen responded.

“Nah, I just came to check on Elva.”

“Okay, you've checked; now leave.”

“Oh, I also needed to give you this,” Valen said as they held out a dark purple dress.

“What's that for?” I asked while walking inside the room out of the rain, leaving Aspen on the balcony.

“It's for the dance practice; it's tonight.”

“I thought that wasn't until tomorrow?” I asked, confused.

“You were asleep for a while, so, uh, yeah, it's today,” Valen said as they laid the dress on the bed. “Hurry and get ready.”

“I should go get ready and see what else needs to be done,” Aspen said as they walked past me towards the door.

“I'll help you get changed, Elva,” Valen joked.

“Let's go, Valen,” Aspen said, annoyed as they grabbed Valen by the collar of their shirt and dragged them out the door.

I watched the door slowly close as Valen tried to argue with Aspen. Was Aspen actually going to kiss me then? I let out an aggravated sigh as I laid back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. This was all so confusing. Why did I feel like that when Aspen got close to me? Of course I knew based on all of the previous things, but it was still strange. I would have never felt this way if I didn't remember. I stood up and looked down at the dress and all of the details on it, the dark purple skirt, with a lighter purple corset that also had lavender lace

I changed from my dress into the new purple one that looked a lot more expensive than the others. Then it was time for the corset. I put it on, buttoning up the front, then reaching behind me and pulling the lace. As soon as I tried it, I felt uncomfortable. Why, out of all things, did I have to wear this? I sighed and grabbed the black heels Valen had left; they looked even more uncomfortable, but I put them on anyway. I was right; they were painful.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked strangely nice for once. I walked out of the room and down the hall. At first, I was a little lost on where to go before I randomly saw Ben, who also looked lost, yet he had a tray full of lobster and crab.

“Oh, hey, Elva!” Ben said when he turned around.

“Hey…where'd you get that?”

“It was just in my room, so I took it.”

“Okay? Do you know where to go?”

“I have no idea…want a crab leg?” Ben asked as he held one out to me.

“Uh, no thanks. I'll eat at dinner later.”

Ben shrugged and ate the leg I had refused. We walked in silence for a while; the only sound was our footsteps echoing down the halls. When we turned a corner, we both stopped before running into Valen. They looked at Ben, then at me, and got super excited, shaking their hands. They grabbed us both by the arms and started to run, dragging us behind them. I struggled to keep up because of my shoes, but eventually Valen slowed down and kicked open the large doors to the ballroom.

Inside, I saw Aspen, Leta, Rune, Tex, Adelphia, and Calix. They were all dressed in fancy clothes like me and Ben, but all different colors. Tex was still in a suit with their mask, but had a red cape draped over their shoulder like Valen had.

“Okay, now that you're all here, let me partner you up. Today, we will be practicing your dancing for the ball,'' Adelphia said as she walked around us. “Aspen, Elva, you two together. Leta and Rune; Tex and Calix; Ben, you're with me. When the music starts, just do what you know and try to follow your partner; after a bit, you'll pick up how to dance.”

I looked to the side as Aspen walked over and held out their hand to me. As soon as I grabbed it, they pulled me close to them, put a hand on my waist, and kept their hand with mine. I put my hand on their shoulder as the music started. I didn't know much about dancing, but at least I knew the hand placements. Aspen started to move as if this were as easy as breathing or walking. I tried my best to follow along while also trying not to trip in my shoes.

It wasn't as hard to do the dance as I expected it to be, but I still tripped a lot. Aspen was able to help me figure it out after a few minutes. They didn't say much, but they did help guide me. A few times, I looked over at Ben to see that he had tripped and fallen on his face. I didn't catch how he was tripping until I saw a vine spring out and move in front of his feet like the day before. As soon as I saw the vine, I knew it was Aspen who was tripping him, but I didn't know how.

“You should stop tripping Ben,” I whispered.

“How do you know it's me?”

“I just know.”

“So, you're remembering stuff?”

“No, just daydreaming,”

“Haha very funny,” Aspen said sarcastically, “I only said that to keep you safe.”

“What's so dangerous about remembering stuff?”

“Because when you get your memories back, you also get more of your old magic.”

“And?”

“And it makes it easier for the demons who want to kill you to find you.”

“So that's why Foxx had shown up before?”

“Yes.”

“And all those other times I was killed by demons was because of the memories?”

“Yes, wait, how do you remember all of those?” Aspen asked, stopping the dance and looking down at me fully serious. “What did Valen do?”

“What?”

“What did Valen do, Elva?”

I didn't know what to say—was it okay for me to tell Aspen about what Valen did, or would it make things worse? I could see my hesitation of answering gave it away.

“That's why you were asleep for so long,” Aspen said with a sigh.

“Valen asked me not to say anything; I'm sorry.”

Aspen let go of my waist and spun me, letting go of my hand. I stopped and let my hand fall to my side slowly as I watched Aspen go over to Valen and drag them out of the room into the hall by the collar of their shirt. As soon as the doors shut, I could hear muffled yelling, everyone had stopped dancing and walked over to where I was to see what was happening.

“Did Valen do something?” Adelphia asked, confused.

“I'm not sure, Aspen just seemed…mad.”

The doors to the room swung open again, and I could see Aspen walk in without Valen. They walked over to us, and Adelphia looked up at them with a smile.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, fine, just Valen being Valen.”

“Hey, I have an idea; when the rain stops, let's all go to the beach; it's right outside the palace, so it isn't far at all!” Adelphia said, clapping her hands together.

“Great, sounds fun,” Aspen said bluntly, but it didn't seem to bother Adelphia.

“We should all go to our rooms and rest for the night,” Leta said from the side after a moment of silence.

“Alright, goodnight everyone,” Adelphia said cheerfully before she and Calix walked out of a separate hallway.

We all walked down the stone hallway to our rooms, one person leaving at a time with only a small goodnight, which eventually ended in me walking alone. I could hear the sound of the rain beating down on all the windows. I got to my room and opened the door, grabbed the candle off the side table to my right, and lit it with my magic. It got dark quicker than I had expected, but it was hard to tell the time of day when I had woken up. I set the candle on the nightstand, and on the bed, I could see my normal clothes and a pale yellow nightgown.

I kicked off the shoes and got out of the corset, feeling my body relax once it was all off. I never wanted to wear one of those again. If I could avoid it. I changed from the purple ball gown into a nightgown. The fabric felt soft against my skin, like a fur blanket, even though it was pretty thin. I walked over to the balcony doors, opening them. The rain was coming down pretty hard at that point, with the wind blowing it in all different directions.

I stepped out onto the balcony where I had been before, and I put my hands on the now cold metal railing and looked up. After all the confusion from the day, the feeling of rain hitting my face again felt nice. I didn't really think at all at that moment; all thoughts in my head were gone, and I didn't feel stressed, sad, or in pain. It was all just quiet and peaceful.

Then the peace was interrupted again by a knock at the door to my room. I let out a frustrated sigh before walking inside, leaving the balcony doors open. I cracked the door open and poked my head out to see who was there and what they wanted. I could see Aspen standing there looking down at me, as if they were scared of someone seeing them.

“Good, you're not asleep. Can I come in?” Aspen asked.

“Uh…yeah, sure,” I said quietly before opening the door to let them in.

“How are you feeling?” Aspen asked as they walked in, and I closed the door behind them quietly.

“Normal? Why do you ask?”

“Valen wasn't supposed to do what they did. You could have easily died yesterday.”

“I wasn't exactly aware of that when they did it.”

“It doesn't matter,'' Aspen said with a sigh. “Do you have any questions for me? About what you've seen?”

“Not really…I don't remember much, and most stuff is just like a distant memory from when I was a child.”

“Valen must have panicked, not fully doing the spell right. Lay down on the bed.”

“What? Why?”

“I'm fixing what Valen did.”

“Is that a good idea?” I asked, not really wanting to go through all of that again.

“It'll be fine; I've done it before.”

“Didn't you just say that I know everything is dangerous? If I get even more back wouldn't everything become more dangerous? Plus, we're right by the gate. I'd be dead by tomorrow night,” I said quickly, looking away from Aspen. I felt nervous about what could possibly happen.

I looked back at Aspen when they put a hand on my shoulder. “I won't let anything hurt you, not this time,” they said quietly.

All my worry seemed to wash away as they spoke, it was strange but I trusted them. More than I already did. I nodded and laid on the bed like I was asked before. I tried to mentally prepare myself for any of the pain like before as Aspen stood over me and put their hand over my eyes. I could tell they were just as nervous, possibly even more than I was.