Bain rushed through the tunnels, nearly tripping over a shedding in his haste. He paused for a moment, stopping to grin at the shedding rubbing its head. "Sorry! I have a territory, can you believe it?"

The shedding undulated, legs rippling as it displayed its happiness for him. "That sounds exciting. I'm glad for you, Bain. Good luck!" He waved at it as he continued, sprinting away. The shedding watched him leave, then turned to glare at the figure shambling after him.

Stitches was an endless font of stamina on most days. Not energy, no, but he could keep a run up for hours on even his bad days.

This was quite a lot worse than a bad day.

The shedding crawled up the ceiling, growling at him as he passed by. "Corpse. The idea of your filth leaving our tunnels is welcomed."

He rolled his eyes as he jogged underneath it. "Glad to hear it. For the hundredth time." Not only was he emotionally drained from the entire thing, but every single shedding that crossed his path was quite deliberate in their attempts at crushing him verbally while encouraging Bain in every way they could. It'd never occurred to him that perhaps the mindless minions of Nahma were perhaps less mindless than he'd thought. The incident involving Firepower and Fancy attacking a small army of them came to the forefront of his mind, and he suddenly got an inkling of why Nahma might have hated humans as much as he did.

Meanwhile, Bain headed up the exit stairs, eyes squinting shut briefly as the sunlight hit him. He held one arm in front of his face, blocking out the light as he reentered Centropolis' ground level.

"Ayyy, Bain! Just the dude I was waitin' for. Thought you'd forgot about my parents' anniversary!"

Eyes adjusting to the sunlight, Bain looked around for a moment, then made out Mike leaning against the side of a building, wearing casual clothing and his tinted goggles. The speedrunner gave him a massive grin. "How ya doin, man?"

Bain winced. He had in fact forgotten about Mike's news, and that he'd promised to go to the anniversary with him. Moreover...

"Wait, how did you know I'd be here?"

Mike shrugged, bouncing over to him. "Benedict told me! That old fart can be helpful sometimes, apparently." He stepped on a stray piece of paper and slipped, almost falling before unleashing a small blast that righted him. He continued as though it hadn't happened. "Anyway, ready to go?"

Glancing back at the tunnels, Bain saw Stitches walking up the stairs. He looked a little winded, to Bain's surprise. He hadn't been aware Stitches could get winded. 

A thought occurred to him, and he turned to Mike with a frown. "Wait, were you in on it?"

Mike blinked. "In on what? I mean, I'm in on a lot of stuff, you're gonna hafta specify."

Bain waved his top two arms around nervously, his lower right scratching at his now-bulbous stump. "The whole... make-Nahma-a-hero thing." He felt a little uncomfortable bringing it up. That particular injury was more than a little fresh, and while Stitches had more than assured him of his present feelings, it still hurt. A lot.

Mike snorted in derision. "That centipede guy? A hero? No offense, Bain, but I think Stitches would pick up tap-dancing before that happened."

Bain tactfully decided not to mention just how close Nahma had probably come to killing Stitches, settling for the reassuring knowledge that Mike most definitely did not know about Stitches' plan. He shook his head slightly, returning to the present. "It's okay. Forget I said anything." 

Mike shrugged. "Okay. Done. What were we talking about?"

Bain's forehead furrowed, mouth opening in confusion before he realized Mike was pulling his leg. Metaphorically, of course. "Oh. That's a joke."

Looking over at Stitches, who was taking a short break, Mike asked cheerily, "Hey, corpse! Can I borrow your sidekick for a bit?"

Stitches' head snapped up at the remark. "Corpse? Who told you to say that? Was it Nahma? No, I bet it was one of the..." He trailed off as he saw their faces. "Never mind."

Returning his attention to Mike, Bain hooked two claws together, scraping them against each other anxiously. "Well, I want to go with you on your anniversary thing, but Stitches and I are managing a-"

Stitches interrupted him, waving an arm as he caught his breath. "No, don't worry about it. I can finalize the paperwork, get all the boring stuff done. You go. Have fun."

Bain perked up, grinning. "Oh, okay!" He turned to Mike. "So, what are you thinking?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He had to admit, this was not what he'd thought they'd be doing. Probably sprinting or flying across the city at top speed in another futile attempt to break Hot Rod's records. Maybe going straight to Mike's parents' house and simply hanging out there.

What he most assuredly hadn't thought they'd be doing was shopping.

"Forty bucks? For this? You sure you're not a villain?"

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Mike held the bouquet of vibrantly colored flowers aloft, shaking them lightly in the cashier's face. The nonplussed employee stated matter-of-factly, "That is the marked price, sir. If you're going to cause a ruckus I'm sorry to tell you that I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She didn't look especially sorry or even anxious, despite the intimidating bulk of Bain some distance behind Mike.

Muttering something unintelligible under his breath, Mike extracted his wallet and handed her a thin card. She accepted it with a smug raise of her eyebrows and ran him up. As the irritated speedrunner left, shaking his head, Bain walked by and said apologetically, "Sorry. I don't really know what's up with him." The cashier simply nodded tightly and indicated the door. Bain picked up on the gesture and left, following Mike.

Mike was currently sprucing up the flowers, flipping the bouquet around, examining the flowers with a frown. Bain caught up to him, commenting, "She was nice."

Mike turned to him, an eyebrow raised outrageously. "Nice? What about her was nice!? That was like... robbing a bank, man! But in reverse!"

Bain considered the statement. "Well, she didn't kick me out, and she didn't refuse to let me buy anything. That happens a lot."

He glanced down at Mike and was surprised to find an incredulous look on the man's face. He'd slid his goggles up at some point, and they sat on his forehead, crushing his ill-maintained hair against his forehead. "Dude, what? That's just nuts! Who's that mean?"

Bain decided not to mention any of the dozens, if not hundreds, of people who acted like that around him and tried to change the subject. "What are we doing next?" 

The attempt succeeded with flying colors, and a rapid grin formed on Mike's face. "Now we need to get chocolate! Lots of chocolate!"

Bain's head tilted. "What's chocolate?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Head leaned back, arms hanging at his side, Bain was in bliss. The gooey, melty slab of brown goodness disappeared quickly down the back of his throat. He blinked out of the reverie and stared hard at Mike. "Why haven't I had this before? It's amazing! Nahma would love this!"

Mike selected a large heart-shaped box of chocolate, treating it a bit more gingerly than the flowers. "I dunno, man. I mean, could he even taste it? He'd have to eat, like, a ton of them, right?"

Bain frowned as he thought about it. All things considered, he'd probably have to purchase an outrageous amount of chocolate in order for the gigantic centipede to even taste it.

Shrugging, he asked Mike, "So, when are we going to meet your parents?"

Mike nodded distractedly, purchasing the gold-tinted chocolate box with a brisk nod. "Yeah, we're going there right now. It's not that far away, on 33rd and Roosevelt. Sound good?"

Bain agreed, and they left the shop in short order. 

It was some amount of walking before Mike turned into a small park, a long wrought-iron fence circling the area. Bain glanced around curiously, wondering what exactly was going on. He'd thought they would be going to a suburban territory, or perhaps an apartment building, but this was more like a nature preserve. Although the small, rectangular stone slabs set upright around the place. The stones were of an immense variety, both in color and size, and the overall aura of the place was... forlorn. Solemn.

Looking around nervously, Bain asked, "Mike? Are you sure we're in the right place?"

Mike was whistling casually, the flowers and chocolate swinging from his hands. He checked back at Bain and snorted loudly. "Uh, yeah? You think I wouldn't know where to find my parents?" He continued onward, shaking his head. Bain hurried to follow him. 

He eventually stopped in front of three of the stones. They were fairly nondescript, carved from simple gray stone and displaying a name and a date on each. There weren't any other words on them. 

Folding his legs underneath him, Mike sat down directly in front of them, setting the items on the ground. "Hey, guys! How are you doin'? This is Bain! He's pretty cool, met him on a stream. At first he tried to catch me but now he's chill, and it's really nice hangin' out with him."

Bain watched Mike with a mounting sense of concern as he babbled on, talking to the rocks. A sudden memory hit him, a rather depressing scene from one of the more serious Arithmetwins comics. Approaching Mike, who was currently reminiscing about how badly he'd lost to George at video games, Bain placed a hefty claw on his shoulder. "Mike?" he began tentatively, "are your parents..."

Mike finished for him, a quizzical smile. "Dead? Yeah, they've been gone for a while. Didn't know what happened at the time. I was on a grocery run - when I got back, the whole neighborhood was pretty much flattened. Pretty much no survivors."

Bain's eyes widened as his friend spoke, processing slowly. "I'm really sorry."

Shrugging, Mike turned back to the gravestones. "Eh, don't worry about it. It's how I got my powers - trigger event was one heck of a boom."

Slowly turning all of his eyes from the graves to Mike, Bain asked quietly, "Do... do you know how it happened?" 

Mike unpacked the chocolate, talking as he did. "Yup. Apparently Bulk and Bulwark got in a fight. They were too tough for either one to die, so they eventually just fought themselves to a standstill, and some fresh heroes picked up the bad guy afterward." 

There wasn't anything Bain could say to any of that. Bulk was a pretty well-known superhero. His abilities made him pretty much indestructible, but Bulwark's powers were equal in terms of sheer power. If they did end up fighting, Bain could only imagine the resulting carnage. What amazed him - or shocked him, more accurately - was that Bulk was still a well-known hero. In fact, prior to the information he'd just received, he likely would have asked him for an autograph. 

"Hey, Bain."

Bain glanced over. "Yeah?"

Mike looked uncharacteristically serious. "If I die. I mean, when I die. It's gonna happen sometime, obviously. Uhhh... If it's not too much to ask. I'd like you to either burn my body... or eat it."

Bain's eyes widened in shock. "I'm sorry, what?"

He continued. "There's a lot of people - government people, and Tower people - who really want my powers. I can blow stuff up, and I haven't really found a limit to how big I can make the explosions yet. Biggest I've ever done was probably a thousand feet long. Heck of an acceleration, gotta say. But anyway, yeah. I don't want anyone gettin' my body. I don't care if it's burned to bits or in someone's stomach - I guess Nahma could do it too. Either way, I don't want anyone doing damage with what I can do. Can you do that for me?"

Bain shrank back. "I..."

Mike stared at him intensely. "Bain. You gotta promise me. Please."

Staring into his deadly certain eyes, Bain could only give one response.