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Infamous
Chapter Fifty-Three: Unexpected Wisdom

Chapter Fifty-Three: Unexpected Wisdom

Bain couldn't stop thinking.

He sat on his favorite rock in his hiding place, one leg jogging up and down as he stared at the wall, hands placed atop each other in his lap.

In his mind, Stitches gave him that throwaway smile again. Hey, Rep is important too. If we don't get paid, we don't save lives.

If anyone had been there to listen, they would have heard a horrendous sound as Bain's teeth ground against each other behind his faceplate. How did Stitches not get it? Bain had been dealing with people judging him based on his appearance his whole life. How did Stitches think Bain was going to get Rep when he looked the way he did? When his hero name was literally Rampage?

He stood up and turned to the giant stone in the middle of his cave, claws flexing. He could feel the itch in his carapace, feel as it worked up to his jaw. He wanted to tear and bite things, not think.

Closing his eyes, Bain took a deep breath, and then another one. He'd been repressing those instincts for far too long for them to finally beat him. His old nightmare flared in his memory, and he shivered at the thought.

"Hello, Bain."

He jumped slightly, startled by the voice. Looking to the entrance, he saw Hetty with an unreadable expression on her face, supporting her body with her hair and folding her arms. She almost looked... upset, although he didn't think it was possible. Rising to his full height, he put a smile on his face and walked over to her. "Hey, Hetty. Are you all right?"

She looked up at him, her golden eyes inscrutable to him. He knelt in front of her, carefully putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's a bit late, isn't it? Shouldn't you be going to sleep with Khi and the others?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Why are you being mean to Nahma?"

He blinked. "Why am I- wait, what?" He stood up, trying to process the question. "I'm not being mean."

She shook her head. "Yes you are. You're mean to Nahma every time you come down here, and you're mean every time you leave."

Bain stared at her, shock and hurt evident on his face. "Why would you say that?"

Hetty rolled her eyes and moved past him into his private place, taking a good look around. "Because it's true. How did you get this place?"

Thrown by the sudden change in topic, Bain caught up to her, speaking as he did. "Well, Nahma and the sheddings found all of the fauna for it, and then he did something to make it all glow. After that, it was mostly some decoration, and then I had a happy place. Somewhere I could go to be alone." He smiled wistfully as he talked, thinking back to when Nahma had built it.

Hetty nodded thoughtfully. "So you come into Nahma's tunnels just to be alone?"

Bain was still trying to find where she was going with all of this. "Well, not all the time. For example, I brought you here, right? And when..." He paused for a moment, trying to remember the last time he'd come to the tunnels just to see how Nahma was doing. Hetty's pointed expression wasn't helping in the slightest.

She sighed, picking a rock up with a tentacle. "You come down when you need something. Nahma goes up when you need something. What do you do when Nahma needs something?"

Bain almost laughed before he realized Hetty was serious, and he shook his head. "I don't think you get it. Nahma doesn't need anything. He's the biggest, strongest thing in existence."

Hetty raised an eyebrow. "He still feels things, doesn't he?"

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Bain stared; he couldn't help it. Finally, he managed, "Did someone tell you what to say?"

She glared at him. "Do you think I can't say this on my own? He's my dad too."

Bain almost said something he knew he would have regretted and swallowed it back. Lowering his voice, he told her, "I think you should go."

Hetty shook her head again. "How about this; I'm going to go become a hero and fight bad guys. Just like you."

Bain's mind instantly went to all the villains he'd fought. Slice cutting his arm off. Meatbag smashing an entire city block to pieces. Graviton nearly killing him, and Khi nearly dying for him. He rushed towards her, putting all of his hands on her shoulders and kneeling. "No! No, don't do that. It's really dangerous, Hetty. You can't possibly understand how dangerous it is to be a hero."

She stared up at him intently. "Do you think Nahma thought the same thing?"

Bain's faceplate wrinkled as he stood up, shaking his head once more. "That's not the same thing. I'm tough, I can handle it."

Hetty coughed into a hand. "How many times have you been hurt?"

He didn't need to think about it. The incidents were already brought to mind, and his excuses were dry. To his surprise, Hetty got to her full height, tentacles adding a good five feet to it, and wrapped her thin arms around his neck. "Nahma's scared for you, and I'm scared for you too," she whispered into his ear slit. The words made Bain sag. "Nahma's so big and tough he can't go up on the surface anymore, because people know he's your dad. They get scared of both of you when they see him. So he used sheddings to keep an eye on you until they got independent and he decided he didn't want to intrude on them, because he knew you'd say something. So now he's trying to make a body just so he can see you every day. But you only come here, to the place closest to him, when you need something. And now you're down here, half a mile away from him, and you want to be alone."

Bain was as frozen and still as though he'd been paused in time. Finally, he sat down, unable to look Hetty in the eyes. He could feel wetness on his faceplate, and he hated it. He couldn't be weak in front of Hetty. She needed to see he was tough, that he could take hits.

Hetty moved with him. Instead of letting go, she hugged him tighter. "I don't want you to die, Bain." Hot drops of liquid began spattering on his shoulder, and he felt Hetty's whole body start to shake. "I don't want you to fight people. I don't want Nahma to be sad anymore. I don't want to be scared about you."

Slowly, gently, Bain put his arms around her and pulled her closer. She kept crying, her words blurring as Bain couldn't help it anymore and the dam broke and he was terrified all the time, and why did people hate him so much when he was trying to save them and why couldn't he even avoid hurting Nahma? He squeezed his eyes shut as tears sprang unbidden to his eyes, and his mouth tightened so he couldn't even speak.

They stayed there for several minutes, holding onto each other as though they were stranded. Bain wasn't sure the when entrance to the place he'd somehow thought of as safe was pulled down, and Nahma shoved his head in, resting his face near them. He didn't ask any questions. He didn't demand Bain stay in the tunnels for the rest of his life. He didn't say anything, but he watched them with fear in his eyes. How had Bain missed it? Had he even been looking?

Finally, Hetty pulled away, rubbing her eyes, and Bain slumped. He couldn't look Nahma in the eyes. It hurt too much.

He instantly berated himself for the thought. It hurt Bain too much? How had he gone so long without considering Nahma?

Slowly, he brought himself to his feet, turning to Nahma. He felt it as Hetty immediately distanced herself, coiling her tentacles halfway around herself. Taking a slow breath, he said. "I'm sorry. I-"

He didn't make it further than that. Nahma moved further into the cave, picking Hetty up with an antenna, and placed her next to Bain, curling around both of them and settling down with his head mere feet away from them. When he spoke, his usual rumble was replaced with a quiet voice. "What are you sorry for? You are home. That is enough for me."

Bain crumpled in on himself. "That - that shouldn't have to be enough. It shouldn't have to be enough for you that I'm only in the same place as you."

A heavy antenna slowly patted Bain's head. "Perhaps. But I am going to be here for a long time. I would not control you, Bain. Not even if you swore to leave forever would I command you to stay. I would-" He paused, mandibles working as he tried to utter words that had never left his mouth. "I would be in pain. But you would be free to be a hero."

The conversation was making Bain feel worse the longer it went, and he curled into a ball. Nahma's antennae wrapped around him, warming his carapace. "I am not good at feeling things. I am worse at expressing them. But I have found the thing I take great joy in feeling is that I love you, Bain."

Bain couldn't take it anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried until he felt Nahma settle around him, until Hetty leaned against his carapace, until the world slowly began to darken.

Just before he fell asleep, he whispered, "I love you too, Dad."

The smile on Nahma's face lit the cave up in brown and gold.