“Is this really what you want, Fiona?”

“It is, Jess. I’m useless and I feel like a waste of space compared to you and Quasi.” Fiona answers.

“You’re not useless-” Jessica begins but stops as Fiona shakes her head.

“Compared to what you and Quasi can do, I’m nothing but a burden. I’m just a [Bandit Queen] with a bit of dark magic.”

“I can’t do anything either.”

Fiona snorts at the comment, “You summoned an elemental that slaughtered an angel summoned by a [Warmaster Abbot]. I don’t think I can do anything nearly as amazing as you.”

Before Jessica can say any more, Fiona hugs her.

“Look, I want- no, I need to be stronger if I’m to stand next to him as his wife. Being a [Queen] isn't enough anymore. I need to become an [Archqueen] and Teuta says she can train me into one.”

“She’s crazy.” Jessica opines.

Fiona rolls her eyes at the [Abbess] who smiles when she’s causing others pain. “I’ll stay safe and make it work. I’ve got a ship and a bunch of [Maids] to help me. In the meantime, you need to keep that idiot safe. He’s capable, but he is also prone to causing problems.”

Jessica nods slowly. “I know. I’ll do that.”

Fiona gives Jessica another squeeze before letting go. Jessica turns around and walks up the plank to the ShadeHaven. She turns back to watch Fiona from the deck.

The ship retracts the plank and the ShadeHaven drifts away from the Ironshower. Fiona watches the ship pull away. The Dwarven Anvil and the Navis sail past on either side, following. They are heading to the dwarven kingdom for reasons Fiona has yet to fully understand. Regardless, her new mission is to level and become useful in the future.

She turns around and comes face to face with a grinning Teuta and several very upset [Maids]. The [Maids] were very unhappy when she’d told them that they would stay with her to crew the Ironshower.

“Are you done saying goodbye?” Teuta asks.

Fiona nods, “I am. I’m ready to learn. What is my first task?”

“Good. First,” she points at an armada of incoming pirate ships, “The Ironshower needs more crew than your [Maids]. Choose a bo’sun and fifty sailors from my [Pirates]. Once you figure out how to sail, we’re gonna start ourselves a war.”

“War?”

Teuta grins, “Yes. As of this moment, Bhumi has notified the guilds that all [Pirates] are at war with the Aesir. All Aesir ships and anyone who works with the fuckers are now my enemy.”

The [Pirate Archqueen]’s mad, insane grin gets wider. A shiver runs down Fiona’s spine. The woman stares into the far distance, towards distant land. Her aura explodes outward, and each pirate ship repeats her signal. Every wanderer, and misanthrope, every vagabond with no letter of mark nor port of call, all the human scum floating upon the waves hear her command:

“Turn this ocean Red!”

_____________________________________________________

“That is such a cheesy skill,” I lean on the rail of the ShadeHaven and point at the metal wire connecting Molucca to the Dwarven Anvil.

“Cheesy?” Molucca raises an eyebrow.

“Wasteful, unimaginative, moronic, and totally missing the point!” I explain, “You’ve got this great smithing skill to change the weight of a chunk of metal, and all you’ve conceived of is to make a chunk of metal float. When you don’t even really need to! Oy, are you even listening?”

Molucca grins. He lifts up his mug to his lips and takes a sip. He gives an approving nod to Testudo.

“This coffee actually ain’t that bad. I can see some of my kin buying a bag for the morning after a night of heavy drinking.”

“It is a drink far superior to tea, and it would have overtaken the world if not for Aegir's mindless obstructionism.” Testudo explains.

The dwarf shrugs, “my kin prefer alcohol instead of tea. They find tea rather bland and weak, especially compared to strong liquor.” he pours a copious amount of said liquor from a flask into the coffee. Molucca takes another sip and feels the world turn soft and sharp. “Hmm. My kin would like this. Are you planning to sell some in Svartalfheim? I could get you a break on the import duty.”

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

I perk up, “Actually, now that I think about it, why are you coming with us? Don't you have a mobile city to, well, ferry around?”

“I’ve parked the city near a major island.” Tesudo leans back and rests his elbows on the rail. “They’ll be busy trading for several months. I’ll move it again when it loses its novelty and prices start to stabilize. Till then, I’ve got some time.”

“That still doesn't answer my question.”

Testudo shrugs. He takes a sip of his coffee.

“I’ve traveled the seas all my life, and have enjoyed it thus far. I’ve gathered wealth and power over the decades, but, I’ve also realized that, and I guess known for the longest time, I’m not actually that capable. Sure, I’ve got money and a town, but I’m still a single [Lord] with no backing. Any pissant with a navy could wage war on me and take all that wealth and power away.” Testudo flushes, “So, I was speaking with Jessica, and she told me you were an [Emperor] with an entire Empire at your back. So…”

Testudo steps back, takes a knee, and lowers his head, “I, [Merchant Lord Admiral] Testudo formally request to join your Empire as a vassal.”

Molucca's mouth drops open in surprise.

I scratch my head. “Hmm. Ok.”.

He raises his head. “Ok?”

I nod, “Yea. Sure.”

Testudo stares at my face like a puppy trying to figure out if I actually threw the ball or just whipped my arm up quickly.

“Just like that?” Testudo asks. He glances at Molucca, but the dwarf looks just as confused.

“What? Are you expecting me to take out a sword and [Knight] you or something?”

Testudo and Molucca share another glance.

Molucca clears his throat, “Well, when a [King] accepts a [Lord] into his service, it is heralded as a kingdom wide event. Casks are opened and the beer runs for an entire week.”

I look between the two men, “I’m not sure how that’s different than now. How about we try that with coffee and brunch sometime.”

Testudo eyes alight, “That will require a lot of coffee.”

I grin, “Then it’s a good thing I’ve got someone who can provide me enough for the party.”

I extend my hand to the man. After a moment, Testudo takes it and I lift him up.

Molucca grins, “I don't suppose I can visit you for the party.”

“Absolutely, but at a later date. For now, how about you tell me about your kingdom? Anything noteworthy about it?”

Molucca snorts at Quasi’s ignorance. Noteworthy he asks…

“Svartalfheim is called the alcohol capital of the world. We produce more booze than any single empire or kingdom in the world by a large margin. We have the highest level [Smiths], a forge built out of an active volcano that can melt any metal, a near endless supply of adamantium ore, and we are home to the one and only [Bards] guild.”

“[Bards] guild, eh? That sounds like fun.”

Molucca grins, “It is. Every [Bard] worth their beard is trained in those halls and every young lad has their first fling within. It’s quite a place.”

I frown at his words. “Ok, when you mention it that way, maybe it's best that I don't actually visit the place.”

“You'll have to if you want to visit Hermes’ shrine.” He adds with a grin, “Speaking of which, I heard you didn't just end the other day with only one lass.”

I shake my head, “Nope, not going there.”

“Going where?”

I turn my head and see Jessica walking up to us. Though her tone is light, her visage is troubled

“What's wrong Jess?” I ask, stealing the chance to change the subject.

“It’s… well, it's about my class. It changed.”

Her class?

Level 227 [Scourge Abbess]

“Oh, congrats, you’ve got an evolved class. What’s a [Scourge Abbess] do?”

She swings her arm casually and manifests a whip of light. It's a skill I’d seen before, but…

“Holy crap,” I say when I look closely. It's not just a simple whip, but a scourge embedded with hooks and spikes meant to rend flesh as painfully as possible.

She scowls, not to me, but the whip in her hand.

“I specialize in making spiked whips now. Eir gave me… this class. Am I… am I violent?”

“You absolutely are,” I answer confidently.

She glares at me and raises the whip, and then halts when she realizes what she was about to do.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

She gives me another glare.

I reply with my usual cocky grin.

The whip disappears and Jess hugs herself. A tear rolls down her cheek. “No,” she states.

I walk up to her, pull her into a hug. She leans on me and lets the strength go out of her legs. We kneel together on the deck.

“No,” she whimpers.

“When you experience violence, you learn violence,” I stroke her hair, “and you’ve experienced far more than your fair share. But you, even at you’re most sadistic, you’ve only ever tried to help people. There’s a reason hurt is synonymous with pain, you can’t heal one without causing the other.” I hold Jess a little tighter, “You’re a good woman Jess. For all the pain I’ve watched you cause, I’ve never seen you cause hurt.”

She leans into my chest and starts wailing. Tears pour from her eyes and onto my chest. Molucca and Testudo watch silently, unwilling to interrupt.

Eventually, the crying slows to a stop and Jessica pulls her head away from my chest. She hiccups with a smile plastered on her lips. But not a happy smile. No, it's one of those fake smiles a woman gives when she is very pissed off.

“Quasi… you smell like Teuta’s perfume.”

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