I was relieved to hear that Detective Perez was one of the arresting officers. I've known Carmen Perez since her early days with the LAPD, and we worked together on a few cases back when I was a prosecutor. She's straightforward and reasonable; a good cop, one without an agenda other than to protect and serve.
Since Doug Dobbins - Mr. Argon Gas - wasn't cooperating with us, my hope was that we could go through the arrest report with Carmen and finally get some details.
I waited for Henry outside the men's room, and once he was finished, we weaved our way through the precinct bullpen to look for Carmen's desk.
"Why all the pushback from Dobbins?" I asked Henry.
"Maybe he doesn't believe us," Henry swayed and almost tripped over a wastebasket. I grabbed his elbow to steady him. "Maybe he suspects we're the enemy, he thinks we're working for someone else. Or maybe he just really hates human beings."
"Hey, you two!" Detective Carmen Perez stood behind a cluttered desk across the room. She waved us over. "Counsel for Douglas Dobbins? C'mere!"
By the time we made our way to her, Detective Perez was sitting again at her desk, half-hidden by a mountain of paperwork. "Hi Carmen," I said as warmly as possible. "How have you been? It's been ages."
"Marsh. Good to see you." Carmen looked up at us with a file in her hand. "So, you're a defense attorney now?"
"Yep, I decided it was time for a change of pace."
"Uh-huh. I'm sure they miss you over at the DA's office."
"Have you met my partner? This is Henry Todd."
"Oh, I know who Henry Todd is. I used to catch the end of The Angry Gavel every week, it came on right before reruns of Cop Rock. One of my favorite shows of all time," Carmen smirked and leaned back in her chair. "Cop Rock, I mean."
"Of course. It was a classic," Henry said. "Nice to meet you, Detective."
"So – Douglas Dobbins. How did you two wind up with this guy as a client?"
"He's a friend of a friend," I said.
"Well, here's what we got on your friend-of-a-friend," Carmen waved a manila folder, opened it and put on a pair of reading glasses.
"There's some good news, and some bad news. Bad stuff first: At about 1am, Dobbins blew through an intersection on Hill Street in Chinatown and got pulled over. While the officer was checking his license, he saw something on the passenger seat: wrapped up bags of white powder. Full kilos. Three of them…"
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
"Whoa…" Henry blurted out. I managed to nod and keep my poker face, but I was just as shocked as Henry. Boarvex gave the impression that this was a minor drug possession charge. I was expecting grams or ounces, not pounds.
"…So the officers searched the car, and your client had another twenty-six kilos, sitting out in the open, in the back seat of his Saab."
I felt the color drain from my face. Almost thirty kilos! Dobbins would be looking at trafficking and distribution charges.
“Who the fuck still drives a Saab?” Henry mumbled.
My thoughts immediately went to Lord High Councilman Farkvold. How would we break the news to him? Henry and I would have to explain that it's impossible for us to release his Agent. Doug will be held in a federal prison without bail until his trial, then he faces decades in prison if he's convicted. And why wouldn't he be convicted? He left the drugs out in the open to be seen by law enforcement. He practically confessed to the crime already.
Henry and I would likely be executed. Worse still, Farkvold might be willing to use military force to get Agent Dobbins out of prison on earth. As my mind raced, I saw that Carmen was still smirking, enjoying my discomfort, not realizing that my concern was larger than losing a simple court case. Doug's drug bust could ignite Earth's first interplanetary war – a war against the brutal armies of Slatt, that we would be certain to lose…
"You have a lovely smile, Detective Perez," Henry projected a calm coolness that was half acting, half alcohol. "But I feel like there's a joke we're being left out of. Did someone tape a 'Kick Me' sign to the back of my jacket?"
"No. But that is a very fetching track-suit, Mr. Todd."
"Thank you. It's very comfortable." Henry's eyes were only a little glassy.
"Would you like to hear the good news?" Carmen asked.
I nodded. Carmen pursed her lips, paused, then erupted with laughter. “It’s anise seed!" she managed in-between guffaws. "You client's a wack job.”
“Huh?”
"So the arresting officers see all of these bricks of dope," Carmen chuckled as she explained. "And it's lot, like, a-LOT-a-lot. So they start to freak out and call in a detective. So they send me over to the scene before the impound arrives, just to look things over for the report, and the first thing I notice is that the whole car smells like a bottle of Sambuca. And the kilos sure look like bricks of cocaine or heroin, I mean, they're packaged up that way. But the powder has a brown tint to it. My partner, she takes one whiff and says 'anise seed,' right away -"
"Dumb question," I interrupted. "What is anise seed?"
“I didn’t know either. It’s used in baking or something, and it smells like licorice. My partner recognized it right away because she grew up around that kind of stuff, her parents owned a bakery. But that's what it was – powdered anise seed.
“So you tell me, Marsh,” she continued. “What was your client doing with cooking spices, wrapped up and bagged into kilos like dope?”
“I wish I knew,” I said. “He doesn't want to talk to us.”
“Well, you can have him in a few minutes." Carmen uncapped her pen and made a few scribbles in the file. "I’m just finishing up his paperwork.”
"You're releasing him?"
She looked at me, dumbfounded. "Did you hear what I just said? I can't hold your client for possession of seasoning. At the end of the day, riding around town with anise seed in your car isn't a crime. There's nothing to charge him with. You know that, Marsh. Nothing worthwhile. He's just got some screws loose."
Henry looked at me and shrugged. “Carmen," I said. "Can we go back and speak with our client once more before he’s released, please?”