Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain
> “A leader must comport himself with dignity at all times, and must not allow personal emotion to dictate public policy. The greatest danger to any political body is a leader who does not restrain himself.”
>
> -from Ashbridge’s Leadership Guide, 4th Ed
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Sid had finally achieved the dubious honor of his own office in Stonecourt. Before he left, Sandreas explained in no uncertain terms that Sid would absolutely not be taking up residence in Sandreas's personal office. Sid had complained about the optics of it, and Sandreas had someone make arrangements for Sid to use Sandreas's old office, the one he had used while he was Second. If there was one thing that could reliably change Sandreas’s mind, it was an argument turned to optics.
It was not, unfortunately, a particularly nice office. Perhaps Sandreas's own mentor wasn’t intending to punish him by giving him this single windowed room on the very top floor of Stonecourt, but Sid felt banished. There was a desk, a few chairs, the aforementioned window, some art on the walls, and some cabinets for Sid to keep papers and such in. It hardly seemed fitting for a person who was running the whole galaxy while Sandreas was away.
To be fair, Sid hadn't had to deal with any problems, yet. Everyone had been gone for a week, and everything was fine as an aged wine. Copacetic. Sandreas had cleared out his schedule completely in preparation for going on the Anthus colony trip, and though he was now attending Vaneik's funeral, Sid at least was free from scheduled events. He was briefed every morning by Ms. Rosario, who was a true Godsend, and then went through his day checking off the list of tasks that she gave him. He was busy meeting with Counselors about their problems, and attending the occasional luncheon, but he hadn't had to make any decisions, and he wasn't in crisis mode.
At least, he wasn't in crisis mode until his office doorbell rang unexpectedly. He didn't hear the bell, but he had taken a half hour when he first moved into the office to rewire it to blink a light when the bell rang. It was another of those simple tasks that he needed to take care of any time he worked his way into a new space. Every dorm room he ever lived in had gotten the same illicit modification. Before he went to open the door, Sid consulted his daily schedule. He wasn't expecting anyone, so this was an exciting deviation from routine.
Sid opened the heavy wooden door to greet whoever it was outside. It turned out to be Hernan, escorting one of the many aides who flitted about Stonecourt like busy bees. This particular aide was clutching an ansible printout. Ansible printouts were almost never good news. Since it had come by personal courier from the office rather than simply being sent as a message to his phone for him to read at his leisure, it must contain very, very bad news. The aide handed him the printout, tucked inside a red envelope, and Sid muttered a thank you before returning to his office. Hernan followed him in, and Sid gestured him to take a seat on one of the chairs. Sid sat back behind his own desk.
"I have a feeling I should be sitting to learn whatever this is," Sid signed to Hernan. "Do you know what's in here?"
"That's your eyes only," Hernan signed. "But look at the sender."
Sid looked. Beneath the horrible 'URGENT' stamp on the thing, in the upper left hand corner was the information about the letter.
> To: Sid Welslak, Apprentice to First Sandreas c/o Stonecourt Ansible Service
>
> From: Iri Maedes, Anthus Colony Ansible Station
"Not from Yan?" Sid asked.
"I don't know what's in it," Hernan signed. "You remember that Maedes and I sent updates to First Sandreas on our last outing."
Sid ripped open the envelope and read its contents.
> Apprentice Welslak,
>
> At sometime around three hours on 7/9th, Yan was attacked and kidnapped off of the Tranquility.
That first sentence hit Sid like a rock, and he put the letter down on his desk, unable to read further. His face was pale, and he looked at Hernan in horror.
"Did you read all of it?" Hernan asked. Sid shook his head and picked up the letter once again.
> As much as we can ascertain, this is the sequence of events. Yan attended a dinner party hosted by members of the Anthus colony team. At the party, Yan was drugged with an unknown substance, as well as given significant amounts of alcohol to disguise the effects of the drug. I escorted her back to her room after the party, and left her to sleep. At the time, I assumed she was simply drunk. During the night, the guard watching her, Dovrall, was killed to gain access to her room. Dovrall was shot in the head from behind. Several assailants broke the lock on her door, entered her room, and kidnapped her. There were signs of a struggle, but we hypothesize that Yan could not use the power to defend herself because she was drugged. Once she was subdued, Yan was carried off the ship on a shuttle taken from the Tranquility. The shuttle may have met up with a ship that was hiding in nearby space. Video footage and ship logs during the attack were deleted by a program shortly after the shuttle left.
>
> Two crew members from the Tranquility are missing, as are three people from the Anthus colony. It is likely that all of these people were responsible for the attack, and left on the shuttle with Yan. Currently, the Tranquility is in orbit around Anthus. No one has disembarked for the planet. We will continue holding here until we receive word from you or First Sandreas. The crew of the Tranquility and the Anthus Colony Team have both assured me that they will cooperate fully with any investigation the Imperial Government wishes.
>
> It is not my place to speculate, but I believe that this attack was not intended for Yan. From the scope and the number of people involved, it seems as though it was intended to capture First Sandreas. As he was not aboard, Yan was the only substitute. Yan is probably still alive. I don't know what the motives of the people were, but they went to great lengths to remove her from the ship rather than killing her outright. I don't know who they are or where they have taken her, but she may be able to escape.
>
> I formally tender my resignation from the Imperial Security Force. For my failure to protect my charge, I fully expect to be brought to trial and sentenced. I will cooperate with any actions the Imperial Government wishes to take. If there is anything that you need me to do aboard the Tranquility or on Anthus, I will do it.
>
> May God keep you,
>
> Iri Maedes
Sid handed the letter to Hernan, who read it, then put it down on the desk between them.
"What are you going to do?" Hernan asked.
"What am I going to do?" Sid shook his head. "God- I-"
"Are you going to make a public statement?"
"I need to get in contact with Sandreas."
"He made it to Canerra station, and then immediately left on Vaneik's ship, the Oathkeeper, for the funeral," Hernan signed. "I don't know when he'll be back in range of an ansible."
"Canerra has one, though. Why don't they use that?"
"It's traditional for the funerals to be held in uninhabited space. They're at least one jump away from the station."
Sid frowned. This was a problem. "How long until they're back in range?"
"Depends on how long the funeral lasts, and how many jumps out they were."
"Fuck." Sid swore, then clenched his fists. He hadn't quite yet processed that Yan was gone, probably for good, but the sense of panic falling over him was immense. "What do I do?"
"You can either wait for First Sandreas, or make a move yourself," Hernan signed. "Those are really your only two choices."
"No…" Sid thought for a second. "There's a third choice."
"What?"
"I think I need to go see the Emperor."
Hernan raised his eyebrows. "Why?"
"I'm not ready to be the highest authority here," Sid explained.
"Sandreas trusted you to be."
"Sandreas never expected this to happen. He wouldn't have trusted me if he had."
"What do you want the Emperor to do?"
"Give me my power back, first. Then, like, I know the Emperor has farsight, maybe we can figure out where Yan got taken?"
"You think that's possible?"
"It's worth a try," Sid signed. "The cost is me having to go there again. And I would have to anyway."
"True. But are you going to make an announcement?"
"I need to find out how far the word has gotten before I say anything. I don't want to say anything right now, but if it's already public knowledge then I would have to, right?"
"That's your choice."
"You're not helpful. Do we have any other word from anyone else?"
"Check your ansible messages. Anything that was sent in the same batch should be through the pipe by now."
Sid did just that, opening the laptop on his desk and reading through several of the other urgent reports that had come in while he was talking to Hernan. His main question, if Yan's kidnapping was known outside the ship that she had been on, was answered. No, the crew of the Tranquility had not told anyone, and the consecration of the Anthus colony was being put on hold. That wouldn't be able to stay forever, because the colony did need to start, with or without consecration. They couldn't keep the whole population trapped in the ship forever. Actually, he figured that as long as they were on the planet, they wouldn't be able to go anywhere, so even if they needed to question every person on the ship, well…
Sid typed up a message saying that they should let the colonists onto the planet, but instructed the Tranquility to remain in orbit rather than going to pick up their second set of passengers and cargo. There was no sense in delaying the vital work of beginning the colony, especially if all the guilty parties had presumably already escaped on the same shuttle that had taken Yan. He would need to get that list of people, and have their connections investigated… That was another message he drafted, sending his orders along to the appropriate people who would know how to organize such a search. If only Halen were here, he'd be in control of the situation. But Halen wasn't here, and neither was Sandreas, and neither was Yan. Even Kino, as useless as she was, was gone. It was just Sid. He consulted Hernan as he composed the messages, and thanked God that Hernan was competent and helpful.
It took a long time for him to write everything up and get it sent out.
When it was finished, Sid turned his attention back to his new goal: going to see the Emperor. He was about to stand up and head out, but Hernan stopped him.
"Does Yan have next of kin on Emerri?" Hernan asked.
Oh. Whoever was listed as her emergency contact should be notified and sworn to secrecy. Did Yan have any family on the planet? She was a spacer. How would he even get in contact with her family's ship? But Hernan was right, whoever was listed as her contact had a right to know.
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Sid returned to his laptop and searched through the personnel database to find Yan's file. There was a photo of Yan that had been taken just before she started her apprenticeship. Though it hadn't been that long ago, Yan looked much younger and more nervous than Sid remembered. The light of the flash made her look washed out, and her smile was forced for the camera.
> Yan BarCarran
>
> Born 15/7th/602 - Age 21 (EC)
>
> Height: 187 cm
>
> Weight: 74 kg
>
> Eyes: Brown
>
> Position: Apprentice to Aymon Sandreas, Voice
Sid clicked over into the emergency contacts tab. There were two sections, an "On-planet contact" and an "Off-planet contact". The off-planet contact was listed as Maxes BarCarran, uncle, and he could be reached by ansible through the Trade Guild's mail system, or by leaving a message care of Byforest Station. It didn't seem like a great idea to get the Trade Guild as a whole involved in this just yet. Rumors always spread like wildfire whenever someone in the Guild got wind of information, and they probably already were spreading, considering the involvement of a Guild ship, but it seemed prudent to keep things on the down low. Sid checked the "On-planet contact section". There was a listing for one Sylva Calor, and it gave an address in a city fairly far south-east of Yora, as well as a phone number and email. Her position was listed as an apprentice within the theological office of the IKRB.
"Know who Sylva Calor is?" Sid asked. "She's Yan's emergency contact."
Hernan raised an eyebrow at him. "Yan never mentioned her girlfriend to you?"
"That's who that is?" Sid shrugged. "I don’t think Yan ever talked about her by name."
"Now you know. Are you going to tell her?"
"I have to, don't I?"
"You don't have to do anything. But I say that you should, at least before she finds out from the news," Hernan signed.
"Okay. After I talk to the Emperor, then."
"You're still set on that?"
"I think I need to," Sid signed. He felt resigned to it, but that feeling of resignation at least was stopping him from feeling total despair. As long as there was a path forward, he could keep going. He closed his laptop. "Let's go see the Emperor."
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The Emperor's antechamber was just as uninviting as Sid remembered. It was cold and dark, and this time he didn't have Sandreas there to protect him. He hadn't even been invited. He had just decided to show up, bearing bad news and asking for favors. If he stopped to think about it, it occurred to him that this might be an extraordinarily bad idea, but Sid was not prone to ruminating like that. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind as soon as they entered, and he stood as calmly as possible, waiting for the Emperor to allow him inside.
The door swung open. Sid guessed that was his signal to enter. Sandreas had opened the door himself, before, but Sid didn't know if that was because he had felt some sort of invitation from the Emperor, or if by his status he felt able to come and go as he pleased. Sid was glad that he had at least this tiny invitation.
The same single spotlight illuminated the center of the room. If Sandreas thought he had a flair for the dramatic, he clearly had nothing on the Emperor, who seemed to design this whole experience around intimidation. Sid stepped into the spotlight, doing his best to remain unintimidated. He didn't feel the Emperor's presence in his mind yet, but he was sure it was only a matter of time. Perhaps he was being made to wait just to draw out the suspense of the moment.
Then he did feel the Emperor in his mind, laughing at the thought.
"Oh, little Sid, back so soon?" the Emperor spoke directly into Sid's brain, pushing and prying at Sid's half-formed thoughts. "And all alone, how curious. Did Aymon send you?"
Before Sid could speak or sign anything, the thought of where Sandreas was flashed across his mind. He's at Vaneik's funeral. It was odd that the Emperor didn’t know that, but perhaps the Emperor was more concerned with other matters than watching Sandreas.
"Ah, the troubles with the Guild have started already. I did warn him. No matter. What is it you have come for?"
The Emperor loosened its grip on Sid's mind to allow him to answer on his own terms. How kind.
"I need to ask you a favor," Sid said aloud. "Two favors," he corrected himself.
"How bold! And what might they be?"
"Did you hear what happened to Yan?"
"Yan?" the Emperor asked.
"One of Sandreas's other apprentices. My friend."
"Oh, yes, Yan BarCarran." There was the feeling of mental shuffling as the Emperor looked up exactly what had happened to Yan. Sid thought about the information so that the Emperor could access it easily, but the Emperor’s great mental eye was elsewhere. Page after page of text flashed in front of Sid's eyes, faster than he could process or follow. "Hm. What a pity I never got to meet her," the Emperor said after a moment. "Still, such is the fate of apprentices."
"Wait- is she dead?" Sid asked, wondering if the Emperor had any information that he did not.
"Dead? I wouldn't be able to know that. But I do not believe you will ever see her again," the Emperor said. This all was delivered in a dry and neutral tone, directly into his brain. It infuriated Sid.
"What? No, we're going to get her back," Sid proclaimed.
"We, little Sid?"
"Sandreas won't just let her go! And neither will I."
"Aymon cannot afford to drive himself to distraction over such lost causes," the Emperor said. "You'll learn that as you get older."
"Yan is not a lost cause!"
"She is lost," the Emperor said, with a voice like a hundred bells. "If you came here to ask me to find her, I am afraid that I will not be able to help you. My farsight has limits- I can only look in the present somewhere I know where to be looking. I can only look into the past when I know exactly what to look for, and can trace the present moment backwards like a string. I cannot know the future with any certainty."
"You can't do anything?"
"If one could form the universe in a perfect image by myself, there would be no need for people like you, little Sid. Some things are better accomplished by people who are my Voice and my hands out in the world."
"I don't believe that. There has to be something I can do to find her and get her back," Sid said, petulant.
"That may be so. You can send out spies, and you can search through the threads, and you can take prisoners and interrogate them. All of these things you can do. But there is nothing that can guarantee success."
"Well the only thing that guarantees failure is not looking at all! Yan wouldn't give up on me if we were in different places."
"If Yan were here, though we may never meet, she would be given the same advice. The path of endless searching is the path of madness."
The Emperor reached into Sid's brain, like the hot breath of an animal. Perhaps it was meant to be comforting, but it was anything but. Sid shivered and tried to yank away, but the feeling was internal, and there was no escape.
"People will move out of your life often when you are Voice. Accept this lesson early as a gift," the Emperor said. "We all must learn it in time."
"We?" Sid asked. The Emperor was not human, it was a monstrosity. The Emperor seized onto this thought and brought it to the forefront.
"Oh, little Sid, did my wayward apprentice not tell you who I am?" the Emperor asked with a laugh.
"He said we weren't ready to know, and that he should tell us when we're all together," Sid said. He hadn't been thrilled when Sandreas had refused to answer his questions, but he had accepted that Yan and Kino deserved to meet the Emperor as well. Not that he really wished the experience upon them. Having the Emperor digging through his mind was nerve wracking at best, and humiliating at worst. The Emperor didn't even need to bother with the usual formalities of going into active meditation with another person before busting down all his brain-doors. There was no reciprocity there. The Emperor just swept in and overpowered the boundaries between Sid and the outside world.
The Emperor listened to Sid's train of thought with the same feeling of amusement.
"Do you want to know?"
"Do I want to know?" Sid asked. That was an honest question. Would he be better off for knowing?
"Go ahead and look behind the curtain."
Sid stepped forward out of the spotlight, walking towards the back of the room where dark curtains covered the walls. His movements were only half his own; that other mind guided his steps and lifted his arm to part the curtain, revealing a door. He twisted the knob and walked through.
There was a long, cold hallway there. As Sid took his first steps, lights flashed to life along both walls. His head was forced to turn and look.
"Here I am…" the Emperor said.
Under the light, there was a tall tube filled with liquid. In it, a naked old man floated peacefully. He was totally non-responsive, with eyes closed and arms by his sides. The tube was wired up to machinery that lined the walls of the hallway, presumably connecting to other rooms in this vast complex. There was an identical tube on the other side of the wall, but with a woman floating in it. There was a name plaque on the bottom of each of the tubes, but Sid didn't recognize the names.
Sid's legs moved without his permission, bringing him deeper and deeper into the hallway. As he walked, more lights flashed to life, illuminating more and more tubes. He didn't count, but there were more than a hundred of them. The people were all adults, but aside from that they had nothing in common- men, women, different skin colors, different ways of wearing their hair, names that didn't sound like they came from the same planet, different signs of wear on the bodies- no two were the same. That was, until the last tube, which was lit like all the others, but empty. Sid's eyes were forced down to read the nameplate of this last one.
Aymon Sandreas.
Sid didn't really know how to process this. He couldn't stop himself from picturing Sandreas, his boss, dead and in that horrible tube. Not naked, though, because that would be too weird.
The Emperor laughed in Sid's mind again and ushered him back down the hallway into the room with the single spotlight.
"So, now you know who we are, little Sid. We are an unbroken line since the founding of the Empire. Will you be joining us someday, I wonder?"
"But Sandreas hates coming here-"
"Our wayward apprentice fears what is coming, but he will do his duty eventually. We will welcome him home, as we always knew we would."
"Why?" Sid didn’t even feel like he himself was asking the questions. It was as though the Emperor was putting on a little play and using his own mouth as one of the actors.
"You understand that sensitives working together can accomplish what one alone cannot. Our original number joined together to help found the Empire as it is today. We realized that we would need a way to stay connected to the universe as it is, and to not grow stagnant. So we sought out helpers, who would carry out our work, who would be our Voice. Their reward is to join us when their time comes."
"Reward?"
"To be powerful, to be undying, to be together forever with your kin, is that not a perfect reward?"
Sid thought that if Yan were here she would have words to say about that with regard to the doctrine, but Sid could see why it would be appealing. "Then why doesn't Sandreas want to join you?"
"Aymon, our wayward little apprentice, has placed some things above his duty. He is not the first to have done so, and he will not be the last to do so, but it makes his journey more difficult."
"Halen?"
The Emperor laughed. "The little pirate boy, yes."
Sid would not have referred to Halen as anything close to little, or a boy, or even a pirate anymore, but at least he was reassured that he wasn't the only one the Emperor discussed in such condescending terms.
"What do you think, little Sid? Will you be joining us?"
"I don't know, I-"
"You are young yet. That answer will be easier to see once you take your full place as Aymon's second."
"You don't want me to find Yan because you think I'm attached? Is that it?" Sid had been distracted from his original quest, but he put the dots together.
"There can only be one of you who takes your place with us. It is the way of things that most apprentices… go on to different paths."
"You mean they die?"
"Yes. Their path is to return to God."
"Yan isn't dead, though."
"Not right now, but someday."
"You don't know that!" Sid was angry again, but the Emperor brushed away his anger like fallen leaves.
"If you really seek my blessing to find your missing one, then you have it. There is time yet for you to learn this lesson. Aymon has years yet to rule for me."
"How long?"
"Only our Aymon knows when he will be called back to us," the Emperor said, sounding wistful. "But it will neither be today, nor tomorrow."
"So you're saying you don't care what I do?"
"I care for you very much, little Sid. There is great potential in you, if you do not waste it on frivolous pursuits." The Emperor's care was a grasping, pulling feeling that tugged at his bones, beckoning his soul back into that dark room behind the curtain. He was disgusted by it. He could understand why Sandreas didn't like coming here. The Emperor was a parasite.
A parasite who could hear his every thought.
"You should be careful what thoughts you allow to grow, little Sid," the Emperor said. "You will find we are not so bad after all. There is a thread that binds us all together. Aymon chose you, Caron chose Aymon, Yesikiah chose Caron, and so on, all the way back to the very first days."
Sid felt rather that he liked having his own brain, untouched by hundreds of other people. The Emperor's presence sang in his mind like the tingling of a thousand needle pricks.
"Someday you may realize how lonely it is…"
"Yeah, well, maybe I want to be lonely," Sid said petulantly.
The Emperor laughed again and the tension was over. "You are a funny one. Was there anything else you came to seek other than my blessing?"
"Can I have the power back?" Sid asked.
"Yes, you may. Let me in."
Sid forced himself to relax and not think as the Emperor once again re-arranged something deep within his brain. How they had that power and control over him, he didn't understand, but he had to accept. At once, the feeling of the power came back to him like a limb waking up from being asleep. It hurt. It hurt, but it was a productive feeling. He shook himself, goosebumps breaking out on his arms.
"Is that better?" the Emperor asked.
"Yeah. Thanks, I guess." He couldn't be too grateful. After all, it was the Emperor who took away the power in the first place, which was rude, no matter how much Sid deserved it. He was pretty embarrassed to think back to the reason why he had lost it in the first place. He had not been in his right mind- that was what coming down from Vena did to him, apparently.
"Now, you have what you need?" the Emperor asked again. Sid nodded. "Then you may go, little Sid. We wish you well on your work."
That was as clear of a dismissal as any. Sid left, grateful to have the Emperor out of his brain once more.