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128 - Insomnia and Intimacy

Theo shifted, tossing and turning. He was in his own bed, in his own shack, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“Trouble sleeping?” Jenny mumbled from beside him. She had fallen asleep, tired with messy hair and sweaty arms. The time they were spending together was nice, but Theo just wished the threat of death didn’t hang over them. It made it a bit harder to focus on enjoying the moment.

But then again, the unspoken understanding that this could be the last time they were both alive was exactly why they spent time together like they might never see each other again, why the other’s lips became more important than oxygen, why the night and hanging threat of what would happen tomorrow made them seek refuge, hiding under his thin sheets.

If this was the last time they were able to embrace, they were going to engrave it into their memories. It wasn’t even for pleasure. Past a certain point it was a desperate attempt to remind the world that once there stood two souls who loved just as much as they fought.

“Yeah.” Theo said, looking up through the gaps to notice less moonlight than usual filtering through. A reminder of both their circumstances and the power of The Woods.

The war was officially beginning tomorrow. People were going to die. That was something that hadn’t really been true until now. The Ball had occurred without any actual deaths occurring, thankfully, and even with the stakes it felt more like something exciting than something terrifying.

Of course, that was from the point of view of someone who hadn’t been paralysed in the process. Theo looked over at Jenny’s half-asleep form.

Speaking of paralysis, however, even the trip to Etol felt like an adventure. Camping for a few weeks and running out in the open, being a tourist, and a short span of time aside, spending quality time with his master and touring a number of smaller villages.

It was all too easy to forget how close he’d gotten to entering Fet’s domain, with everything else that happened. And the euphoria of controlling backfires certainly helped raise his spirits.

And yet even that could have killed him if Sparrow hadn’t been there to carry him once he fell unconscious.

Jenny reached towards him with grabbing hands. Once she found his being, she laid one hand on top of him, and went back to sleep, absentmindedly tracing patterns on his chest with her thumb. As Theo lay there in the embrace of his lover, skin glistening slightly in the dim light of a night both as quiet as every other and one so unforgettable for all the right and wrong reasons, he closed his eyes.

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Theo took in a deep breath, counted to ten, and tried once more to fall into the embrace of the little death, trying not to think about how true death would feel and if it was similar to how he was now; immobile, afraid, and entirely too conscious of what was happening.

---

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sparrow asked, as Theo walked to the edge of the bramble dome.

He suppressed a yawn, nodding. It was before dawn.

“I always have trouble sleeping before something big.” They sympathised.

Theo had tried, but his head was too full of heavy thoughts to drift off, painfully grounded in the moment. He even gave Meditation a shot, but while it was nice and helped centre him, he was unable to let go of the knowledge of what awaited.

So he lay there, contemplating mortality and sending prayers to Gilth as the moonlight started to lighten and lesson as the sun started to assert its influence. He knew there was no chance for him to fall asleep at that point.

He had carefully untangled himself from Jenny, letting her sleep in a little longer as he made his way out. She needed it.

Well, he needed it too, but that evidently wasn’t what fate had in mind. And after coming out to inspect the dome up close, he would go back, grab some breakfast, and then wake her up.

But for now, he had a great opportunity to at the very least answer some questions he had.

“So, what are the standard terms, anyway?”

Sparrow glanced over, their own rumination interrupted as Theo threw the question into the air. “Hm?”

“All the things they talked about. I’m confused about a lot of the rules and what Maria agreed to. And why do we become subordinates if we surrender? It feels like we got the bad end of the deal with the whole subordination thing.”

They snorted, as he scratched the back of his neck. “We got the better end of the deal. If we don’t become subordinates they would raze everything to the ground and take anything valuable. And this way we get protection when we’re weak and vulnerable. Plus, they save on infrastructure and reconstruction costs. On the other side, one hundred years of peace and reparations is better than us over-extending trying to counterattack, and for them it’s low risk and also preserves a somewhat working relationship. Frankly, I think they could have bargained down to 20 years, but morale is more important to them than it is to us, and they came into it too arrogant to bargain in the first place.”

Theo nodded thoughtfully, processing that information as Sparrow continued. “The rest is pretty standard stuff. Allowing surrender and standard prisoner treatment means reducing casualties on all sides, no sieging stops it from dragging on and overcommitting resources, and sunlight only reduces subterfuge.”

They paused.

“Then again, sieging doesn’t really work on us when we have The Woods and people who can conjure water. And I bet they’re still going to try pulling some shit and send spies somehow.” Theo agreed, if the negotiation around prisoner accommodation was anything to go by.

“Well, I’m glad to know it won’t be too bad if we lose.”

Sparrow chuckled to themselves.

Theo gave them a look.

“Union City has more secrets than you’d imagine.” Sparrow just patted him on the shoulder before walking off, as confident and inscrutable as the night they met.