POV Mother Dearest

I've known about how my son has been isolating himself for a while now. He used to be so outgoing when he was younger. He would always like to show off to others but he wouldn't stop until he had aggravated someone. He got in trouble a lot in school because he would have found something to talk about during break and then he wouldn't leave the conversation until he had said what he wanted to say. I remember after a parent-teacher conference, we were in the car, I was angry at the report of his behavior, and he wouldn't stop explaining his reasoning to me.

One day I got a call from his school. The first thing I asked is what he had done this. When I found out an ambulance had been called I was shocked. I managed to get a coworker to take over the last hour of my shift. When I got to the school he was already gone. I found out there that he had woken up and he seemed fine for the most part when he was taken to the hospital. I also found out that he hadn't moved or responded to anything for more than ten minutes.

On the drive to the hospital I kept having to try to suppress my sobs, I didn't stop speeding until I got there. After I talked to the doctor I was relieved to hear that "There was nothing physically wrong with your son but we'll conduct a few more tests to make sure." I was relieved until the teeth of that statement sank in. "What do you mean nothing physically wrong with him." He sighed and said, "Something clearly went wrong today and based on the results I would have to guess that he's been under some kind of mental distress. I would have to advise you to have your son see a therapist so he can get help he needs."

'That day was one of the few times I let my fears play on my mind. When driving I nearly got into an accident and thought I was going to get pulled over at one point. All that because I kept imagining possible explanations for what was happening to my son. Worse still is that my fears ended up hurting my son in the end.'

I was too focused on CPS. I was afraid that my son would get taken away and when it seemed that CPS wasn't any kind of threat I stopped worrying. I saw that my son was getting increasingly upset but I figured he was just worried about what happened. I talked to him about it a few times. I thought his dismissive attitude was because he didn't want to acknowledge the truth. It wasn't until later on that I noticed he was most upset after his meetings with his therapist. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to be unhappy but I also thought that the meetings we're necessary. When he got sent to Special Ed I was furious.

When he finally gout out two years later there was a gap in learning and his grades ended up suffering as a result. Within a year though he was at the top of the class. I know he got bullied but I don't believe many of the parents did anything to control their child's behavior even after I confronted them about it. In fact it seemed like we had become objects of scorn.

A few more years passed and then my son asked if we could start going to church. I was reluctant but this was the first time in a while that he had asked if he could do something so I agreed. Eventually he got into some kind of teen pastor thing and he was going to preach to everyone.

He smiled benignly at everyone and started speaking, "God is a being that would often punish those who would sin against him. There are many examples of this, but I'll name just a few. There was the time God drowned everyone of the world, except a select few, because they were unrighteous. God slaughtered the first born of Egypt because of the Pharaoh's stubbornness. God sent bears to dismember 42 children because they called his loyal prophet Elisha a baldy and told him to 'get out of here.' God told the people of the Earth to subdue all creatures of the Earth, creatures which -at first- seemed to be as intelligent as people, or at the least the serpents were. With God having such fondness for punishment why was the right for sovereignty over the Earth never taken away? So, could any of you believe that animals were the previous inhabitants of the Earth and that we were created to be their punishment, or do you think that God is as fake as the rest of you."

After that he walked. We had all sat and listened throughout his speech. After he left it was as if we had woken up from some kind of dream.

Unwilling to admit that someone of his age could develop any kind of independent thought, or at least it seemed that way to me, the people int he church accused me of 'teaching him that nonsense.' That day ended up causing a lot of problems but I couldn't get mad at him after I heard his reasons. "They've shit on my life for the past five years. All I did today was show my contempt towards them and any beliefs that they hold." I couldn't get mad because I had wanted payback myself. I still decided to get the hell out of there when 'Devil Worshipers' was written in blood on the lawn one day. After we had moved we ended up a lot happier. For a few years we were happy then my son started dating someone. Such a kind person- and so pretty! (Which kind of surprised me since my son barely counts as good looking and let's not discuss his personality.) It's a shame that she killed herself. My son ended up blaming himself. Soon after he started isolating himself again.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

One day I woke up and it seemed like there was something off about my sight. I told my boss that I would be leaving early for an eye appointment. The doctor was a rude person who would overreact each time I had to ask him something. When I got home I decided to confront my son about what had been going on recently. When he got back from school he started the usual routine. He put his backpack in his room and then came to the kitchen to talk to me for a few minutes before he would go back to his room and stay there for most of the evening.

"Hey, mom." "Hi honey, how was your day." "Oh, it was fine. How w" “I don't think that's true” He had a shocked look on his face but I ignored it as I continued. “I don't think you've been having 'good days' for a while now. You probably stayed in the library.” 'I've seen his backpack, it bulges from all the books in it and that's on a normal day. You know those pockets for holding water bottles? One time books were even jammed into those. It's not a small backpack.' It doesn't seem like he wants to listen though, this whole time his expression has been getting stiffer and stiffer. So I tell him that if he doesn't want to listen to what I have to say then he can go to his room. He took full advantage of the offer.

I tried to patch up our relationship today by taking him out to eat. I don't think my choice was wrong but maybe I could have tried a different approach. It was lucky that we were able to come to this restaurant because I helped the manager through my line of work. It was embarrassing that I had to remind her about our agreement when the waiter came to pick up the check.

Today my son came up to me wanting to talk. I'm glad now that I tried to talk to him the other day.

Today my boss' incompetence nearly got someone killed. This isn't the first time something like this has happened but it was the most serious so far and I ended up telling him off. I ended up being fired because I didn't want others to continue getting hurt when It could have easily been prevented.

I haven't made any money for a few weeks now the bills are going to end up late if nothing changes. My son's birthday is in a few days. I ended up taking desperate measures.

Today I got drugs from the doctor which are supposed to help my sight.

Today I was looking for the flashlight in my son's room when I found a bunch of porno magazines, like fifty of them. When he got home from school he asked whether I had made enough to get my pills, such a conscientious child, but I thought that this was the more important issue.

“Why aren't you in your room fantasizing about the girls in those magazines you have?” not waiting for an answer I continue, “Do you think that having those magazines will help you get a girlfriend?”

“I can't get into a relationship like you but I don't feel too bad about it.”

“Come on! There are plenty of nice girls at your school I'm sure you can find a good one. I'm also sure that she'll be very good looking,” and then I winked.

'Wow, was that awkward. Hopefully I'll never have to have a similar conversation in the future. Something seems off though about how my son was talking.'

I imagine that this chapter will offend some people at a certain point. I'm not trying to denounce religion just showing another aspect of the main character's personality and I'll admit that I would hate to get a bad rating because someone got pissed off at me.

Popular demand nearly forced me to write this chapter first.

I'm about halfway done with the cover.

Real life stuff is probably going to be delaying chapters for a while, house problems and college-soon, and on that note which is preferable short chapters which come out quickly or longer ones which come out less quickly.