If I’m ranking up, why do these choices just seem like a downgrade? I took out a knight with one punch! Sent him straight to the ceiling I did! Now all it talks about is how I’ll be easy to kill? Was that party just weak, or was I freakishly strong? It felt more like the latter, but that might just be my biased thoughts.

Alright. Let’s get my bearings.

I.. can’t see anything but this damn screen. Can’t hear anything either. Smell? Wait, have I even been able to smell anything? I try to recall the last thing I smelt, but nothing comes up.

I’m guessing this comatose state will end if I just pick something.

I start looking over the choices in earnest.

The first choice is a little unsettling. If I were to abandon my human form, that’d lead to a drastic drop in coordination. Getting used to a new body would be a slow and arduous task. Especially given the nature of the lich I serve. He’d probably send me off to fight as soon as I’ve woken up, and I’m not too confident about my chances. Perhaps if the circumstances were different… I’ve always wanted to fly, after all.

As for the skeletal giant, that just sounds like a bundle of trouble. Sure, I might gain a large boost in power, but if that also draws attention towards myself… I imagine it being like an enemy commander. Someone who should be taken out with all haste. Wouldn’t want to paint a huge target on myself. Not at this stage at least.

My face almost blanches when I see the third option. Reading the informative text I can just begin to picture the numerous paths leading to my death. While it’s true that someone’s life isn’t guaranteed in any confrontation.. to deliberately slow myself down would spell certain death. Forget regaining my humanity, I wouldn’t even last long enough write out a will. Maybe if I’m really careful… no, this lingering attachment to a human body will be the death of me.

Which brings me to the final choice. Skeletal Soldier. At least it has a nice ring to it. Although it doesn’t seem to have as much potential as the first option, the survivability is a bit higher. It strikes a decent balance compared to the other three choices.

I don’t want to become the strongest thing in the world. I just need enough to survive.

Just as I finish my thoughts, the fourth option begins to glow. The light getting blinding as it’s sucked towards me, and I find myself laying awkwardly on the floor. A bundle of bones and metal heaped up into an incoherent pile.

My head rolls off to land at the feet of… CWO Mary.

“H-hey there,” I say tentatively.

She cocks her head to the side then lifts a hand to her chin as if in contemplation. That creepy lipless grin still pasted on her skull. Her foot winds back soon after, and I find myself tumbling every which way.

The view disorientates me as my vision changes rapidly.

“Insubordination! You! Damn! Beast!” I yell in between kicks, but that only serves to increase the speed at which the world revolves as I add fuel to the fire.

I grow quiet, and it seems that after a good long session of ‘kick the head’ Mary has vented all her stress. She picks me up and starts moving back towards the pile that is my body. She roughly tosses it on top, and somehow manages to land it just right so I’m facing her.

“I’m no longer your subordinate.”

“Wait, she can talk?”

“While you were out, I also got the same treatment thanks to you!”

“So, what did you pick?”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Pick? What are you talking about?”

“You can talk because you ranked up, right?”

“Huh? I don’t know anything about that. I just woke up feeling like I had the best nap in the world, and when I went to curse you, I found out I could speak.”

“Alright, so, how did I end up like this?”

“I dismantled you.”

“You.. did this? I’ll have your head!”

“Oh you will, will you?” She says tauntingly as she draws closer, picking up my head.

“Hamlet?” I ask trying to change subjects.

“Nothing so poetic,” she replies.

“Wait, where are you taking me,” I ask as she walks towards the hallway while tossing my skull up and down.

“While you were asleep, a lot of the other men got souls infused as well. Look at them, aren’t they cute?” She asks thrusting me towards a… skeletal dog.

“I know that thing doesn’t have chops to lick, but damn me if he isn’t eyeing me like a treat.”

“Oh, he is, and he’s my direct subordinate. Aren’t you Spot? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Oh you are.” She coos while swinging me back and forth in front of him.

“Mary, please. Don’t do this. Recall all the fond memories we’ve shared.” I say in panic.

She freezes. Silence stretching out until it’s almost unbearable.

“One good memory?” I ask timidly, and find myself thrown up into the air. “MARRRRYYYY!”

I shut my eyes as I clatter against bone.

“Now now, no need to be so mean to the Ensign.” A rather raspy voice says.

I open my eyes to find them in the hands of…

“What is this creature?”

“Perhaps I should just do the deed myself.” It says. His skull’s shaped like a gorilla’s with long incisors. One oversized arm stretched out to grasp my skull. Even though he’s slouched he reaches almost three meters in height.

“I guess I’m done antagonizing my subordinates for now, so who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Chief Warrant Officer Second Class James Henderson.”

“So, no offense intended, what exactly are you meant to be?”

“Not quite sure myself sir.”

“Oh, alright then. For now could we see about getting my body in order?”

“I’m afraid my hands are a little.. unfit for the task.” He responds. I look at them, and notice that those fingers are probably as thick as my arms. “I’m afraid officer Mary would be the only one capable of putting you back together.”

“J-just have one of the other men do it. She does seem a little pouty after all.” I say looking around to spot many normal looking skeletons.

“That’s, well, officer Mary is the only one with enough knowledge to do so. We could try, but we aren’t too sure of where everything goes.” He says with a shrug, almost dropping my head in the process.

“Officer Mary~” I call out in what I assume to be a pleasant voice.

“Ensign Asamoto~” she calls back… the sweet tones carrying an underlying feel of death and despair.

“I-I’ll check up on you later. No need to bother you now. You seem quite busy.”

“Getting along are we?” I’ve never been so glad to see a madman in my life.

“Lord Vragska, it may be presumptuous of me, but could I request aid in retrieving my body?”

“Who dared lay hands on my vassal?!” He roars. Lightning arcing off his robes, definitely not from static.

All of the skeletons in the vicinity look towards Mary as she turns her head, feigning ignorance.

“Skeleton S, please do try to refrain yourself. It wouldn’t do to allow dissent among my army’s ranks.” Vragska says in a surprisingly civil manner.

“Your status as a potential protege will save you just this once.” He continues, and with a flick of his wrist my skeleton sorts itself. Even the armor straps itself to it. I feel a tug as my head flies towards my body, and with a jolting sensation I find myself able to move.

I get up to the sound of bone striking armor. Flexing my body, I can’t find anything different. Nothing really changed with looks either. If anything, my bones seem to be lighter. Approaching a dark grey as opposed to the black I began with.

“I’ll be resting in my study. I am not to be disturbed,” Vragska says as he stalks off.

“Wait.. do we even need sleep?” I mutter to myself.

“You were sleeping for quite some time. Why don’t you tell us?” Mary asks snidely, somehow hearing me.

“Well why don’t we hear how you became that madman’s protege first?”

“Apparently it has to do with the eyes. You can tell with different features as well, but that seems to be the easiest.” She continues as I stare in confusion. “How to tell what type of skeleton you are.”

“I see a few other green eyes. Why not choose them instead? I highly doubt you’d be too accommodating with that personality of yours.”

“Oh? Would you like me to disassemble you again?” She says while casting a sidelong glance.

I raise my fists and take up a fighting stance before saying “I’d like to see you try.”

Henderson saunters over.

“Now now, we shouldn’t be fighting amongst each other.” He says attempting to pat my shoulder, but driving me into the ground instead.

“You bastard! I heard some bones crack!”

“Ah, sorry, but it’s just your armor.”

“Huh?” I look down at myself. The armor has cracks running along it, but my bones seem just fine as he said.

“All you had going for you was your solid body. Guess that’s the same even now.” Mary comments.

“Oh, so you were looking~” I tease her.

“I wouldn’t start.” Henderson and Mary say in unison.

I feel a bit of sweat bead down my face and decide to drop it.

“I’ll.. just go check up on Vragska.” I say while making my way towards his last location.