Joe slipped on the cold, heavy bangle, and a shiver immediately ran down his back. The cold, twisted metal felt almost clammy against his skin. He heard a faint whisper, more with his mind than his ears, emanating from the item the moment the band settled around his forearm. Joe focused on the Band of the Begilburr, and that sibilant whisper grew louder, letting him know the purple circlet’s magic was ready and off cool-down. None of this made him feel any better about the violet, mind-bending band.
On the other hand, the moment he took hold of the staff, he was enveloped by a pleasant heat. Much like the comforting warmth emanating from one of his [Heartfires], the chill of the purple metal was immediately driven away when he took hold of the smoldering polearm.
“Well, I guess that does it,” he said, rising from the table. “I cannot thank you enough for all your help and generosity, Madam Growlbee. I can now fulfill my promise.”
“You are quite welcome. I am glad this scamp came up with such a clever solution. I am glad to be able to help a neighbor even though I could not do so directly. Old grudges are hard to thwart, especially for those who practice witchcraft.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know I'm a genius,” the little man blustered in jest. “So, we are square now.” After a quick pause, the gnome added, “But if ya need a new favor, you know where to find me.”
“Begone rascal. I have enough debts without you tempting more,” the matron chided with a smile. “Take your interesting young friend with you,” breathed the lovely maiden in the yellow sundress. Her presence washed over him, flooding him with her magical charms.
Kaid chuckled and dragged Joe back to the shore. Joe knew it was a glamor, and his trait would not allow him to be dominated, but even so, he could barely stumble after the tugging gnome, who was unfairly far stronger than he was, even with his diminutive stature.
“She really has your number,” the small man laughed, shoving Joe onto the raft. “Be thankful she did not bring out the crone. She has another look. A really, truly scary witchy look that is downright horrifying. She dropped that one on me, and I thought I was going to grease my shorts.”
The idea of a Granny Growlbee as a classic hag-like witch cleared the lingering cobwebs from Joe’s mind. After a last head-shake, he began to pole along with Kaid. The first time his new staff hit the water, a fizzle surprised them both. The fire-based staff caused the water to pop and steam around the shaft as Joe used it to shove the raft across the mere.
----------------------------------------
“Wait,” Kaid hissed, grabbing hold of Joe’s pants leg.
They were just about at the same point on the road where Joe had first encountered Sir Groven and seen Rhyley and Buck in the distance. The sun was starting to set off to Joe’s right. From the top of the hill, he could just make out the Dellham farmstead another ten-minute walk away.
Thanks to his spell, neither of them was actually tired, but Joe was sweaty and sore. He just wanted to get back, treat Sarsa, and relax after a very trying day. The last thing he was interested in was more drama. “What now?”
“Something is wrong.” Kaid stood stock still, peering at the homestead ahead of them.
“What do you mean? There is nothing wrong. Look, there is Konren sitting on his porch, rocking away.”
“Exactly. There are still a couple of good hours of daylight left. In all the times I have come out to the Dellhams, I have never seen Konren slouching on his porch while the sun was still up, especially during planting season. Something is wrong.”
Joe did not know Rhiley’s family nearly as well as Kaid did. Even so, once he thought about it, it did seem odd that Konren would be kicking back on his front porch so early in the evening. Joe had not figured out Illuminaria’s calendar yet, but his best guess was a late spring day.
Joe also had to admit he trusted Kaid’s sense of peril over his own. “So what do we do?” he asked, dropping his voice.
“We don’t do anything. I’ll go scout it out. Let’s get you off the top of the hill so they won’t spot you on the horizon,” he advised. “I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”
Kaid jogged along the side of the road, keeping low. When he reached the edge of the closest field of crops, the tiny gnome vanished into the plants. Joe left the path to settle into the welcome shade of a maple-like tree growing beside the old dirt road. Even though the sun was no longer high in the sky, the leafy shadows were a welcome relief. Letting go of the staff also helped cool him down.
Joe slid down the smooth trunk and took a drink of tepid water from his waterskin. It quenched his thirst, but warm water was not nearly as satisfying as a refrigerated bottle of water. Joe realized he was going to miss ice on demand. There were few things better than a glass of iced tea or a cold beer on a hot day.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Joe rested his head against the trunk and debated closing his eyes, but the events of the day had him too tense to nod off. Still, it was nice just to sit and watch the sky start to move from blue to orange. He tracked a “V” of birds crossing the sky. They seemed larger than he would expect to see on Earth, but the creatures soared onwards, uninterested or unaware of Joe’s observance.
Joe’s eye started to droop, tempting him to hit himself with [Efferous Endurance] once again, but the return of his new friend woke him right up. One look at Kaid’s face and Joe knew something was indeed wrong.
“What happened, Kaid? Is Sarsha ok? She has to be; the wound wasn't much worse this morning, and Nella and I …”
“Joe. Shush,” Kaid hissed in a quiet voice. “It’s not Missus Dellham. It’s this,” he stated, handing Joe a roll of paper. “There are guards around the farm waiting for us,” he added while Joe unfurled and read the sheet.
WANTED
ANATHEMA / THIEF
The newcomer, known as JOSEPH MORRIS, has been deemed to be an anathema to the peace of the Kingdom of Duskurg by the Order of the Golden Edict, by the House of Amberwroth, and by the Priesthood of the Celestial Throne. This outsider has incited rebellious fervor against the kingdom’s rule and is undoubtedly an agent of the Feylands.
He is aided and abetted by the known criminal, Kaid Ward. This gnomish thief has been incarcerated numerous times for theft and assault. His collusion with the Feyland insurgent proves his unrepentant nature and his need for rehabilitation.
These two individuals are to be incarcerated on sight and held until they can be relinquished into the hands of an agent of Phealti’s Law.
REWARD: 500 GP
“I have no idea what any of this means. Well, except the five hundred gold pieces? That’s nuts. Is that amount normal for talking out of turn to a noble?”
“Anathema is not the same as being belligerent, Joe. Someone really wants you badly. Five hundred gold pieces is an insane bounty for this region. You should look at your own scrolls. The quest I have is not nearly worth that much.”
New Quest [Elude the Hunt]
You are being hunted at the bequest of the Order of the Golden Edict and the noble-house of the Amberwroth. Evade their pursuit.
Reward: 50 gold coins
“That’s nuts. They are offering five hundred for an equivalent fifty gold piece quest. Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ve pissed off Sir Groven plenty of times before, and he has never gone all out like this. You must have really insulted him. What did you say?”
“It wasn’t that bad. Really! I just said he wasn’t very welcoming, which was true. That man seemed to dislike me the minute he saw me.”
“Well, it must be a Phealtian thing then,” Kaid muttered. “You would have had to have been inciting a full-scale rebellion for it to be a noble thing at that bounty.”
“Who are these Phealtians, Kaid? I don’t know that term yet.”
“Sorry. The Phealtians, also called the Golden Edict, consist of knights and paladins who follow the god Phealti. That’s the god of order. They are big on demon hunting, but they also have a bad case of spiders in their shorts about anything from the Feylands, too. Basically, this says you are not human. That you’re some monstrous fairy.”
Joe thought back on his odd race. He grimaced and uttered, “Well, that’s not entirely untrue.”
“Wait, really? No snoot? How untrue?”
“I was human before I crossed over into Illumniaria. But when I got here, Hawk… the One Above gave me a race with a faerie heritage.”
“Oh, booger spit, and he can’t ID you either,’ Kaid giggled. “No wonder he is losing his mind. Sir Groven is a serious grump at the best of times, but that explains this. He can probably sense your heritage, but without a real identify, he has no idea what you actually are.”
“How can he sense my heritage? My trait blocks divinations and assessments,” Joe countered, letting the arm holding the parchment drop into his lap.
“There are specialties that will trump a trait like yours. Take Onhur, for example. He’s another one of the four gods of law like Phealti. Templars of Onhur can sense lies. You need like an epic level of [Deception] to fool even a novice follower of Onhur,” the little man explained. “Phealitans sense outsiders, beings that don’t belong on this plane of Illuminaria: things like demons, fey, elementals, and such. I’m betting that Groven couldn’t get a clear read on you, but he still got a whiff of fey. You could be some high mucky-muck fairy prince, and he can’t know for sure. No wonder he’s calling out the army on us.”
“So how bad are the fey then? If having fey-blood is a death sentence, they must be pretty horrible.”
“Depends on who you ask and the type of fey. They are tricky and powerful, but they ain’t all bad. Pooka are great if ya don’t piss them off. They’ll clean your house, fix your shoes, chase away rats. But there are also fey that you don’t ever want to meet. Kelpies will drown you. Willow-o-wisps will lead off to die in the woods. Redcap hats are red cause they soak them in the blood of people, preferably babies. Don’t get me started on dearg-due or hags,” Kaid added with a shudder. “Then there are a whole bunch of them in between.”
“I don’t get it. If the faerie-folk are a mixed bag, why do the Phealti guys kill them, no questions asked?”
“That’s cause that whole order is made up of a bunch of uptight, black and white lunatics. They don’t do gray,” Kaid stated, holding out both arms like a set of scales. “Either you're a person and not their problem,” he said, dipping one hand, “or you're an outsider, and you don't belong,” the gnome explained, tilting his limbs the other way.
“Keep in mind the fey are just one type of outsiders,” the ruffian continued. “You also have demons and eldritch boogies from the way beyond. Phealtians deal with all of them. If a demon shows up, you’ll be damn sure happy if a Phealtian knight is there to deal with it while we smart folks run away. Yeah, they’re a bunch a donkey balls, but they are donkey balls that save whole towns.”
“Great. So we’re screwed.”
“Yeah,” Kaid agreed, sliding down the trunk to sit at Joe’s side. “That was my thought, too.”