As the stalks at the edge of the low grass around the boulder waivered, Joe, who was lying down on the big rock, scraped his heel and set the sound off to his left. He hadn’t worked out how he would hand Kaid yet; he needed information first. Namely, just how burred was the little guy. If he had just a couple of the mind-controlling pods, then Joe would try and clear them off. If he was completely covered, then Joe’s plan was to lead him as far away from the tree as he could, hoping the burrs would lose potency with distance.

What he had not expected was a cyclone of whirling slashes and stabs. As the side-squeak sounded ten feet away, a very, very not slow Kaid launched himself from the grass and began dismantling the tall weeds in a flurry of devastating knife cuts.

Joe's jaw dropped. It was like seeing a fast-zombie for the first time. He had expected he was going to be dancing around a lumbering little thrall with his tiny one-foot-long legs. The idea of a whirlwind of deadly daggers had never entered his mind.

There were at least a dozen burrs on the small man. More than he could remove easily with a slow Kaid, let alone the frenzied fast killer below the boulder.

Joe quickly checked the party screen, which he had pinned to a spot at the edge of his vision. Kaid’s Stamina had just taken a big hit. That slashing charge had cost him a sixth of his remaining pool. Joe wondered if he could get Kaid to pass out here before the Beguilburr could call him back. The only problem was Joe would never be able to catch Kaid in fast mode if the little man ran away.

Joe needed to slow him down. He carefully raised himself to his feet and prepared to use his [Swift Strike]. [Hobbler] would give him 10 seconds of decreased movement. He’d have to make the best of it.

Kaid’s eyes slid up the boulder, spotting him. The diminutive slasher launched himself from the ground, bounding up onto the stone. If Joe had not been prepared to swing, he never would have gotten a chance to. Kaid didn’t even try and avoid the blow.

You have injured Kaid Ward for 3 points of damage.

Kaid Ward has resisted your {Slowed} condition.

‘Resisted! Damn it!’ Joe had not even considered that one.

The next thing he knew, Kaid was on him.

Kaid Ward has injured you. You have suffered 11 points of damage.

Kaid Ward has injured you. You have suffered 7 points of damage.

Kaid Ward has injured you. You have suffered 9 points of damage.

Your health is critically low

Joe reacted entirely on instinct, and he kicked out as hard as he could. His foot hooked up between the small man’s legs. The punt sent Kaid airborne, tumbling over the brushes and back into the grass.

He winced sympathetically when he realized how badly that crotch-shot had to have hurt Kaid, but it saved his life. At least for the second.

You have restored 26 points of your health. Your current health is at 90%.

Your skill [Healing Touch] has increased to rank 12.

Ripping the cork out, Joe downed the [Bitebark] potion and healed again. He was only down four points, but he didn’t want to chance it. As Joe healed again, Kaid appeared on the other side of the bushes. A lunging strike pricked Joe for a single point of damage. Between the potion and the interfering brush, the blade barely scratched him this time.

While the Beguilburr seemed to be able to access the little killer’s speed, the same did not seem to be true with his smarts. The gnome began to pull himself through the shrubbery, a significantly harder and slower process than it would have been to go around.

“Ok. Plan B.”

He ripped the pouch off his belt and threw it at Kaid, who was still trying to climb through the branches. Joe had always had really good aim. A higher Dexterity here in Illuminaria would have backed that up. Even so, Joe's instincts were still there. The stone-filled pouch slapped into a concentration of burrs and stuck fast.

“Udan!” Joe shouted before leaping off the boulder and running toward where the evil tree lurked at the edge of the grasslands.

Madina Spooner had said her [Slow Stone] had frozen a dog for a few minutes, and Kaid was smaller than Buck. Joe also hoped that if he were far away, the deadly whisperblade would turn back into slow-mo gnome.

Joe grabbed his homemade hook and yanked off burrs when he spotted them. This proved to be really awkward to do with the long staff in his other hand. Knowing he’d need both hands in a minute, Joe gave his first weapon a wistful last look before dropping into the sea of tall stalks.

His plan was a pretty simple one. He could not count the number of games he had played in where ‘set it on fire’ was not the ultimate solution. “Drop a heavy object on it’ was a close second.

He was almost positive the Beguilburr had to be a plant. Plants burn. But so do grasslands and forests. The idea of purposefully starting a forest fire gave Joe more than a moment’s pause, but he had no better ideas. He really hoped there were no elves or fey creatures around here that were going to come and hunt him down for this.

His run had slowed to a jog, not because he was tired, [Efferous Endurance] took care of that for him. Instead, it was juggling his pack and hooking off burrs that slowed him down. He had the bag over one shoulder, getting the three flasks of oil to the top of his stowed gear.

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The closer he got to the Dourfore, the less grass he had to run through. Not knowing if Kaid was right behind him or not, Joe wanted to make every second count. He scanned the scene ahead and planned his path.

The ring of spiked roots extended about four yards around the trunk, but there were several long barbed tendrils that had reached out to nearby trees, including the great dead oak just behind the Beguilburr. All of the trees that were entwined by the evil plant's thorny coils were also dead, sucked dry of life. Joe found a sense of satisfaction in the irony that the hungry monstrosity had just given Joe the fuel he needed to kill it.

Running around the web of roots, he smashed the first clay jug against a closer dead tree, coating it in oil. The next one was for the old oak. As Joe was about to toss it, a tearing pain ripped into his ankle. He managed not to drop the clay pot and looked down to see a nearly desiccated, mottled rat digging its way through his boot and into the flesh below. Two large burrs were stuck in its coat.

Screaming and yelling, Joe started battering the creature with his burr-hook, but the stick was too light to do any real damage. Dropping it, he grabbed the heavier torch and began smashing at the rat in earnest.

Somewhere in those blows, he must have knocked out the striker-lock, because after one hit, the end of his club burst into flames. Joe jammed the now-burning head of the torch onto the creature's back. The rising heat scorched his fingers, but it was much worse for the already suffering rat. The creature let out a plaintive squeak and curled into a ball.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

Limping away from the roots, Joe saw more of the emaciated rodents stirring near the base of the tree. Not waiting for any of the near-dead Gnaw Rat to come after him, Joe pitched his second bottle straight at the malevolent, tyrannical tree. His throw was dead on. The bottle shattered against the Beguilburr’s bark.

His last toss was not as well thrown. He hit the great oak far higher up than he intended. Joe wanted the fire to spread quickly to the boss plant. The placement of the oil on the oak would not speed up the process.

Pissed at himself for rushing, Joe hobbled backward and lobbed the torch up against the first oil-soaked trunk. The lamp fuel caught instantly. Flames quickly crawled across the ground. Joe thought he saw the fuchsia fronds rustle and recoil but it could have just been the rising currents of air.

Given how many trees the Beguilbuur had sucked dry, Joe was almost positive his blaze was not going out unless someone had a firehose handy.

Flames were climbing upwards on both trees. As he healed his rat-torn ankle and ripped off the last few burrs, Joe watched the windows start piling up on the edge of his eyesight.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

You have slain Lowland Gnaw Rat.

Ignoring the lingering pain in his sore ankle, Joe danced a quick jig.

“I win!” he bellowed at the blazing purple abomination.

Which, of course, immediately jinxed it.

Kaid stepped out of the grass. Even though the gnome was staggering from exhaustion, the small man determinedly hobbled straight for the Beguilburr and the inferno of fire building up around it; his face was set in a rictus of determination.

“Are you kidding me!”

Joe dashed across the distance between them. Overcoming his natural instinct to soften his tackle, he held nothing back. He pounced on Kaid, driving them both back into the weeds.

Suddenly, Joe was holding a wildcat of daggers. Kaid stabbed and slashed at Joe from almost impossible angles. Thankfully, [Bitebark] was still active. Additionally, the cutthroat’s hands were trembling so badly that half of his blows failed to penetrate the blue gambeson.

Joe thought about trying to rip off the gnome’s burrs, but he found he had no time. He could barely hold on to the blade-flailing fiend and heal himself. There was zero time for anything else.

As one of Kaid’s knives punched through his bicep, another slashed at his neck. The heavy leather shoulder strap on his backpack prevented the strike from digging too deeply, but it didn’t survive the cut. The leather split in two, and Joe’s pack began to flop around as the pair rolled around on the ground.

When a long dagger slammed fully into his chest, Joe knew he was in trouble. Instead of immediately withdrawing, the beguiled Kaid began to saw the blade back and forth. Joe had never felt such pain before. Even the mind-breaking pain of his tumors did not compare to a dagger cutting through his insides.

Joe was pretty sure the fading potion was the only reason he was not dead. He shoved Kaid away and slapped his hands on his chest. Even the feeling of his innards knitting themselves back together was somewhat sickening.

You have restored 28 points of your health. Your current health is at 98%.

Even though each dose of [Healing Touch] could heal almost his whole health pool, it was getting harder and harder to function through the lingering pain of half a dozen knife wounds.

“Kaid! Come on, man! Snap out of it!”

Joe shook off the dangling pack as the small killer levered himself to his feet. Kaid shuffled a step towards Joe. And a second. As he tried to make a third, the little man pitched over face-first into the dirt.

P

A

R

T

Y

Name

Health

(Current/Max - %)

Stamina

(Current/Max - %)

Mana

(Current/Max - %)

Conditions

Kaid

86 / 89 - 97%

0/ 429 - 0%

Enthralled, Unconscious

Joe

30 / 31 - 98%

45 / 91 - 50%

12 / 36 - 33%

It wasn’t nearly as glorious a win as Joe had hoped for, but a win was a win. He’d take it.

This time, he made sure to tap the wooden handle of the goblin knife as he had that thought.

He picked up the gnome and painfully trudged a ways back from the rising wildfire. Even though the grassy plain was a terrible place to view the growing conflagration, Joe did not have it in him to move any further just yet. He watched the Beguilburr burn as he pulled the spiky balls off Kaid.

After a few minutes, Hawking announced the end of Joe’s first big battle.

You have slain the Mesmeric Beguilburr.

You have reached level 4.

You have reached level 5.

Just knowing the vile plant was eliminated made up for his very sloppy victory. Two levels made it sweet.