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57 / 4 - Badboon Brawl

It was still early enough in the day and Joe had been cooped up on a ship for two weeks. Even though he had no idea how complicated the quest might actually turn out to be, he was feeling the need to burn off some energy. Joe decided to at least go check out the area and see how tough these creatures were.

On his way through the center of town, he grabbed a couple of bottles of water and some rations from the general store. He also purchased a change of clothes and a grooming kit. Also, to make sure Ford Prefect wouldn’t yell at him, he snagged a towel as well. The dimensional bag made it easy to be ready to go at a moment's notice since it could easily hold everything he owned, with room to spare.

The last thing he picked up was not going in his dim-bag. He bought a simple sheath for his staff. The leather straps would hold the weapon against his back. Jogging to the edge of town, Joe was quite happy with the purchase. It was much easier to run without the long pole in one of his hands. He could have just stored the item in his dim-bag but the back sheath would let him draw the weapon faster if he needed to.

Joe had not noticed the town's fortification much coming from the harbor. There were a few walls that would block movement or tides, but not much more. When he reached the outer edge of the town, the defenses were far more prominent. A twelve-foot high wall made of large blocks of quarried pale stone arched around the town from the west shore, south around the town, and back up to the east coast. The gates were made of heavy-dressed logs reinforced by black metal bands. The thick forest had been cleared back for at least fifty yards from the walls. It was pretty clear the town was more afraid of what might come out of the trees than out of the water.

As it was mid-morning the gates were open. Joe waved to the guards as he jogged out and received a similar gesture in return. The road forked just outside town but a signpost clearly marked which route led to Mount Serabuk. Joe alternated walking and jogging along the wide trail for close to an hour. He was not pushing himself too hard so he was in no danger from tiring.

He slowed when he came to one of the landmarks Kendell had mentioned. It was a ramshackle farmhouse in a large clearing sitting beside a dense swath of forest. According to the guild attendant, it belonged to a crochety old recluse named Corra Loigen.

Joe approached cautiously, as he had been warned to do.

“Hello? Mister Loigen?” Joe called.

The front door banged open and a very shaggy-looking man stepped out onto the porch. He was whipcord lean and stood with a bit of a stooped back. He had a wild fan of white hair sprouting from his head and a pale beard so long it passed his waist. Even his bare arms and knobby legs were fringed with silver follicles.

In his hands were a pair of unquestionably magical staves that had been strapped together. Sparks flickered along the end of one of the rods. The older-looking Corra held the pair of poles much like one would hold a shotgun, one hand in the middle, the other toward the back end. One staff was made of dark wood, almost black. The other was a lighter silvery gray color like the bark of a beach tree.

While the elder was not exactly pointing the contraption directly at Joe, there was plenty of implied threat in his posture.

“What are you doing on my road, boy?” the older man groused. “You should turn yerself right around and trot back to the Fort. Folks on their own don’t fair well in these parts.”

Joe held his hands out from his hips, palms pointed toward the staff-toting native. “Kendell Bracey asked me to look in on you before I headed past your place to see what can be done about the badboons on the trail.”

“Them damn monkeys shore are a nuisance but they ain’t for you alone. Like I told ya. Ain’t smart for kids and loners to head past my stead. Tell that girlie I’m fine and git yerself back there. Don’t make me turn ya back.”

Joe was about to reply when the mark on his arm started to squirm. It was subtle but there was something about this situation that caused the Mark of Death to perk up. Joe had received the Prophetic Mark for, of all things, dying on his first day in Illuminaria. The Mark of Death was not actually about death but was oriented toward change. It seemed to grow active when something extraordinary was about to change in Joe’s life.

If one such moment was occurring now, it was lost on Joe. He could think of very few prophetic opportunities arising from standing on the edge of the road beside a shabby farmstead and facing a crotchety old man with a double-barrel battle staff.

“I will be careful, sir. I have been itching to try a solo quest for weeks now and the Adventurer’s Guild felt I could handle this one on my own.”

“Then yer a damn fool. When you get yerself pulped by them damn nuts, don’t ya come crying to my door.” The old man whirled about and slammed his rickety door shut behind him, leaving Joe blinking in the road after him.

‘Why are half of the people I meet here assholes or curmudgeons?’ Joe thought. Thinking about it, he realized that Earth indeed had its own share of unpleasant people. He had just managed to avoid most of them given his limited exposure to crowds and the internet.

He looked at the black and gold tattoo on his right forearm. It looked like a rose inscribed in black ink with the Roman numeral for the number thirteen etched in the center of the flower. Golden specks flickered in the blackness of the lines. When Joe moved his arm, it looked like the pattern was a window onto a starry night sky.

‘So what has gotten your attention this time?’ Joe thought at the symbol, though he was not expecting any sort of answer. The prophetic mark had been consistently ambiguous in what it was interested in. He looked back at the dilapidated farmhouse. It had to be either Corra or the staves but Joe was not sure how to test his hypothesis. Banging on the ornery old man’s door to ask more questions seemed like a terrible idea.

Since the mark’s motions were small and subtle, Joe decided he could let the mystery rest for the time being. He had a quest to look into after all. He turned back towards the far-off mountain, whose peak he could just make out a few miles away poking up out of the canopy of the lush forests.

The path here was still wide enough for wagons coming from either direction to pass each other. Once he was past the farmstead, the trees began again. Branches reached out to block the bright sun, giving some much-welcome shade.

About fifteen minutes of walking later, Joe came upon the first sign of a badboon attack. A broken wagon lay smashed in a heap by the side of the trail. Joe crept up to it. After a quick look, he was able to tell that it had occurred days ago and that the wreck had been dragged off the road. The vehicle had been thoroughly smashed apart. The wheels, axles, and even the wagon bed were broken. Joe’s nose picked up the scent of blood but there was not enough of it to suggest the wagoneers had been slaughtered in the attack. He hoped they had been able to retreat. The other alternative was the apes had carried them off into the jungle.

Joe let his nose dissect the area further. Underneath all the rich scents of vegetation and loam, he found a gamey aroma. It had an acrid smell to it that Joe was sure he could pinpoint now that he had picked it out of the myriad of other smells that filled the air around him.

Your skill [Tracking] has increased to rank 6.

With the animal odor firmly fixed in his attention, Joe paced the area, scenting for where the traces were strongest. He was amazed at how natural this seemed to him. It was not much different than listening to see which way a sound was coming from. Just like with hearing, Joe tuned out all but the one thing he was looking for. The scent was strongest coming from further up the road.

Joe drew out his staff and crept forward. It only took a few minutes before he began to hear the hoots and barks coming from the forest ahead. He snuck his way up to a large trunk and peered around it to see several of the apes around a large pool of water.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Bowler Badboon: Level 4: Beast (Ape): Skirmisher: Perception: 48/48

Individually they wouldn’t be a problem but those numbers were disheartening. Joe could see almost a dozen of the large beasts by the water and he could hear more answering from the branches overhead. That was a lot of badboons.

He was not sure how big a baboon was but these seemed comparable to the Earth apes. They were about three to four feet long. The big difference between the species was the badboons had very developed arms. The image of baboons doing upper body lifting amused Joe for a second.

After a minute, Joe witnessed the reason for their heavily muscled arms. All around the clearing, Joe had seen large nuts. At first, he thought they were coconuts but on closer inspection, it turned out they were more like cantaloupe-sized hazelnuts. A badboon scooped up one of the large seeds and hurled it against a nearby tree. The nut hit like a gunshot, splintering bark and shaking the entire tree. Surprisingly the tremendous throw only cracked the missile’s shell. The ape grabbed a rock and hammered on the crack until it broke open enough for it to get at the meat inside.

The accurate aim and force behind that throw worried Joe. It was bad enough that he was completely outnumbered. It would be much worse if he had to contend with cannonball-like nuts being blasted at him from the trees.

He tried to see if he could sense a weakness in the troop. He used [Spot Weakness] and the wildness he had gained from his bestial skills answered immediately. Joe felt his blood pressure rise as a savage fury raged through his body. He knew that, while these were fierce creatures, when faced with a greater source of aggression they would quail. His best chance was to hit them ferociously and try to break their spirits before they marshaled their numbers against him.

Joe was not a fan of harming animals but these creatures had been assaulting people on this trail for many days now. They had killed several adults and had gone out of their way to attack any children they encountered. They were listed as monsters according to the Adventurer’s Guild.

Deciding his claws would be his best weapons in this fight, Joe slipped his staff out of the sheath. Not wanting to chance the weapon getting tangled in the foliage, he leaned it against the trunk next to him. Joe picked out the largest badboon he saw and made it his target. Taking a deep breath, he stepped around the tree. Shouting at the top of his lungs, he charged.

Joe ran past two closer apes. He lashed out with his talons. His first strike caught the beast on his right in the throat and incapacitated the creature immediately. His nails hooked into the back of the one on his left and opened foot-long furrows in the shaggy hide. The second ape screeched and dove into the underbrush. The first keeled over letting out a gurgling last gasp.

Joe continued his charge at the large male. The beast recoiled at first but, as Joe closed, it gathered itself, hunching forward and baring its fangs. This was not good. Joe had hoped he would be more intimidating. They were rallying far quicker than his plan assumed they would. Joe would have to make this count.

Your skill [Morphic Form] has increased to rank 5.

Joe forced his own shoulders to mimic those of the apes, packing in dense muscle. Ignoring the long fangs, he drove his talon fist into the creature's face. The badboon’s sharp canines scoured against his hand but, thanks to [Savage Claws], his extremities were infused with major physical damage resistance. The toothed maw skipped off his flesh. Joe’s strength was respectable at this point. The added might of [Morphic Form] turned his blow into a piledriver. The ape’s jaw splintered under his blow before it landed in an unmoving heap.

Joe kept moving. Targeting the next closest badboon, he dashed forward and slashed at its face as well. The creature pulled back but not far enough to completely avoid the blow. His claws cut into the beast’s heavy brow, blinding it with its own blood. Joe stopped long enough to finish it off.

His pause was just a second but it was long enough for a nearby ape to target him. A heavy object cannoned into his shoulder spinning him in a tight circle.

Your skill [Stun Block] has increased to rank 6.

The hurled nut attack had a stunning component to it that could undo this whole fight for Joe. One missed [Stun Block] and he would be at their mercy. One of the good things about training against Hah’roo was, Joe was very good at spotting attacks coming from unpredictable angles. He rolled away from the fallen ape and scanned the area. More of the rock-like seeds were cutting through the air at him. He swayed out of the path of the closest and punched the second. The dense missile exploded under his fist.

Your skill [Sundering Strike] has increased to rank 2.

Joe had karate-chopped a spare board on the ship to test the skill once before but that had not been nearly as satisfying as demolishing the nut in mid-air. Joe targeted the next one and imploded it as well. He was hit a few more times but he resisted the stun on those attacks as well.

Joe healed, both to keep himself in peak health but also his [Healer’s Ward] and [Warding Heal] abilities further increased his damage resistance for a few seconds each time he healed himself. He barely felt the nuts that hit him in that warded window.

He was doing fairly well at the beginning of the battle but as more and more of the apes moved into the trees to bombard him with nuts, Joe was running out of targets to attack. After he took out the last ape on the ground, he looked up. The badboons were easy to spot but he had no ranged attacks to fire back at them.

Joe tried to use the [Talisman of the Medic] to teleport to them but it was impossible to lock onto the top of the limb from below. He could jump to a spot on the trunks of the tree and catch hold with his talons, but by the time he was stable enough to strike out at his foes, they had retreated out of reach.

Meanwhile, he was being hammered by the powerfully launched projectiles

Your skill [Stun Block] has increased to rank 9.

This was not going to work. Joe first hoped he could force the beasts to expend all their ammunition. That was until he saw apes weaving through the underbrush, recovering nuts, and carrying them back up to their high perches. He managed to shatter several of the hard shells but those were only a fraction of the number of nuts the badboons had at their disposal.

Just as Joe realized he was going to have to retreat and rethink his assault, one of the dense seeds smashed into the back of his head.

You have failed to resist Bowler Badboon’s [Nut Shot]. You are stunned.

The world skewed out of focus. His eyes blurred, turning everything into smears of green with jumping brown spots. Joe tried to activate [Purge] but he was hit again and again, disrupting his attempts to utilize the skill. Healing was so instinctive for him he managed to get a heal off, but he could not muster the focus to get the wards to activate with it.

The hooting rose to a cacophonous pandemonium. The creatures could sense they had the upper hand. Joe curled into a ball, trying to shield his head just long enough to break out of the stun and jump away.

Before he could achieve that act and before the fanged horde descended on him, the forest glade exploded into a roaring tempest. Thunder crashed so loudly that Joe’s eardrums all but burst. His nose filled with the smell of crackling ozone and burnt hair and flesh. The badboons’ howls of fury turned into panicked screams.

“That’s right you stinkin’ shriekin’ monkeys,” shouted what sounded like the old man from the farmhouse. “Beat it! This idjit ain’t gonna be yer supper.”

The hammer blows of thunder and sizzling bolts of lightning moved up and away from Joe. He purged the stun and carefully sat up, healing as he did so. Sure enough, Corra Loigen stood in the middle of the clearing blasting away with his doubled staves. Arcs of lightning leapt off the silver rod and ripped through the branches and beasts. The black staff belched dark balls of churning clouds that raced away and detonated onto thunderous explosions of sound.

“Well don’t just sit on yer arse, boy,” the man old man barked, reaching out a hand. “Git up. They might find their backbones again any minute now.”

Joe grabbed the proffered hand and for the second time in as many minutes, his world flipped into a kaleidoscope of swirling images. He saw a forest so beautiful it made his heart ache. It was filled with beings of unimaginable grace. They were elf-like in appearance but they were even more regal and ethereal in nature. The most stunning of all was a woman in golden diaphanous wraps. Joe’s heart immediately leapt out to her. She was the most …

A hard slap to his cheek shattered the vision. Joe’s eyes screwed back into focus on the shaggy farmer standing over him.

“Who in tarnation left a loose changeling walking about in the world,” Corra Loigen hollered at no one in particular.

Gnarled fingers grabbed hold of Joe’s collar and yanked him to his feet. Corra added a swift boot to Joe’s ass to prompt him to get moving. With the vision of her supreme majesty still tattooed into his mind-eye, Joes stumbled back towards the old man’s cabin and Fort Coral.

Behind them, the shrieking of badboons turned from frantic to furious. Corra strode past Joe, not giving him another glance. Even though he ached all over from the pummeling, all Joe could think of was the angelic beauty of the woman in gold as he staggered after his cranky savior.