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Illate and Itra: The Collection
Illate and Itra: Draft Revisions

Illate and Itra: Draft Revisions

“Finally, we can get back into business,” Itra sighed, relaxing herself in her seat.

Once again, the both of us found ourselves in an isolated part of the library, with me on the open side, and her on the cramped side. If I were to sit there, I would be cramped, but somehow, Itra found herself right at home there. Maybe having books surrounding her in every direction made her feel at ease.

“Alright, show me what you’ve done so far,” Itra instructed, leaning onto the waxed table, “How far have you gotten while I was away?”

“Oh, uh,” I pushed my laptop open, turning the display to show Itra the empty space, “I didn’t get so far while you were out.”

Itra’s eyes followed the text until the end, widening as she realized, “You haven’t done anything at all!”

“S-sorry,” I apologized, “I was too occupied with trying to find out if you were okay or not…”

“Illate,” Itra’s gaze solidified into a cold stare, “you procrastinated.”

“I-I did…” I lowered my head, “Sorry…”

“How many days are left until the contest ends?” Itra asked, “We started late, so…”

“Ten,” I answered, “we have ten days.”

“We can work with that,” Itra decided, “You can turn your laptop back around, I’ve got the idea of what you have on there.”

“Okay, so what do I do?” I asked while turning my computer back, “It’s time to put in Octavia, right?”

“That’s right, we already have the introductions for the rest of the characters in,” Itra confirmed, “how do you want to put her in?”

“Um, well I was thinking,” I tried to form my idea in an easy-to-understand way, “since the first few paragraphs are about a flashback scene, I could just hop immediately into her appearance.”

“Right…just go ahead and type,” Itra told me, “I’ll just look over it after you’re done.”

“Got it!” I acknowledged, before delving into my story.

I wrote: A few months passed before a newcomer came to our orphanage. I still remember the elaborate decorations from the fancy carriage she came in, painted in a shining white color. Some servant dressed in an expensive suit held the hand of the new girl, as he walked her to the orphanage.

She had soft skin, well-groomed hair, a yellow, silk dress made for a princess, and bright eyes that I could get lost in...I already didn’t like her. How could someone so noble descend upon our home while we were still grieving the loss of my brother?

“How’s this?” I asked Itra, “Is this a good replacement for the other two paragraphs?”

“It certainly answers why the main character doesn’t like the new person,” Itra replied, “and you do put a little more effort in trying to show what she looks like.”

“So it’s good?” I squeaked, scared of Itra’s strict refusals.

“Well, what do you think?” Itra responded, “Does it fulfill the task you want your paragraphs to do?”

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“Oh right, the paragraph’s purpose,” I recalled our last study session, “I guess it does. I just wanted it to introduce Octavia.”

“Then let’s settle on it,” Itra decided, “let’s keep going, you have more paragraphs to expand on.”

“Okay, so the next one is…” I glanced at the original draft I made, “Octavia struggling to talk with Killean.”

“All right, you have your goal,” Itra said, “now how will you reach it?”

“Uh…good question,” I chuckled nervously, “I’m not too sure myself.”

“There’s always dialogue,” Itra suggested, “or you could do some actions that take place after she appears.”

“Yeah…” I thought over the ideas Itra proposed, “maybe…”

“You could also do both,” Itra added, “some dialogue then a time skip to a more present time.”

“That is a solution,” I commented, very disconnected.

“Are you really thinking about these?” Itra asked, “just let yourself write.”

“Y-you’re right,” I told her, “I’ll just write, we’ll see what to do after.”

“Good, now hurry it up,” Itra instructed, “we don’t have a lot of time left in our study session today.”

Throwing my fingers over the keyboard, I began typing out my first possible entry for the conflicts between Killean and Octavia. The jumble of words I mashed together ended up as:

“H-hi,” the fancily dressed girl greeted us, “My name is Octavia. Octavia Endruler.”

“Welcome,” our caretaker approached her, “I am Marius, and we will be welcoming you into the Jainus Orphanage.”

“How come I’m here?” she asked in a small voice, “And why’s everything here so dirty?”

“This is your new home now,” Marius explained, “and we’ll be your new family.”

“What! No!” the Octavia girl rejected, “It’s so filthy here!”

I noticed a small twitch in Marius’s form, but he kept his appearance up when in front of the new girl’s attendant.

“Octavia, mind your manners,” her attendant reprimanded, “cause a ruckus, and you will be punished.”

“...Yes sir,” Octavia sulked.

“Mister Marius, would you be able to handle this one?” the attendant turned his attention to our caretaker, “If you wish to back out now, you may.”

“I’ll continue the transaction,” Marius answered, “bring the money into my office, and we’ll take this child off your hands.”

My attention drifted from the adult’s talking to Octavia keeping static. She made sure to stand upright, but also to not make herself present to the adult’s attention. As she did that, she also gazed at Lilis and me.

“Why don’t you come here?” Lilis whispered to her, going against my silent wishes for her to be gone, “Let’s do something together while our elders are distracted.”

A dorky smile spread across Octavia’s face as she hurried over to us, “What will we do?” she whispered in wonder.

“We have some fun games to play,” Lilis told her, “Do you know how to write?”

“Uh-huh,” Octavia nodded, “my tutor taught me!”

“That’s good then,” Lilis commented, “then you can easily play with us. Will you come, Killean?”

“No,” I responded, puffing my cheeks and crossing my arms in defiance.

“What? Why?” Lilis asked, clearly not expecting my reaction.

“I don’t want to play with her.” I answered, “How come we have to play with her?”

“Hey, that’s not nice,” Lilis scolded, as Octavia backed away a bit, no longer feeling welcome between us.

“Am I not allowed to play…?” she turned her pity-inducing eyes towards Lilis and me.

“No, no, you’re allowed to play,” Lilis comforted her, “Killean there is just being a bit stubborn, is all.” She turned and gave me a secret glare, but I refused to comply with playing with the ignorant, new kid.

“Is this good?” I asked Itra, after a few minutes of getting into my writing, “Sorry if I took so long…”

“It’s okay, you should feel free to take your time,” Itra responded, “The school library is about to close though, could you send me a copy of the document through email, and I’ll check it while I’m at home?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” I answered, “that works, sorry again about taking my time…”

“I just said that you should feel free to,” Itra sighed, “it’s your writing, after all, there’s nothing wrong with having to take some time on it.”

“Okay, right, got it,” I replied, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“That’s right, you’ll see me tomorrow,” Itra confirmed, and gave a brief warm smile, “good job on your hard work.”