Novels2Search

Chapter 4

Standing at the door of Dr. Jensen's office, Azura hesitated a bit. Things between her and Lucas had been tense ever since their explosive conversation a few days prior. When they’d been at the house there was a tense atmosphere that was almost suffocating, hence she mostly tried avoiding him. Rose had diffused the situation a bit when she was around, forcing them to actually kind of interact, but she was not there all the time.

Her room had become a safe haven despite it being bland and not hers. This was the first time Azura had actually left the house. Besides that, the nightmares had returned after that first night. They were getting worse and had become so intense that she’d woken up several times bathed in sweat and probably screaming. The actual hours she was getting a decent and good rest were slimming down rapidly. Her body felt tired, worn down, and she didn't know how much more she was able to take.

Azura took a deep breath and opened the door. She arrived in a big hall with marble tiles on the floor and a beautiful old oak desk in the middle. On both sides was a big indoor palm tree and on the left side to the wall stood a simple red couch. Not the average waiting room Azura noticed. She carried herself to the desk, her steps unsure and more hesitant with every single one. There was nobody there, but a small bell on the desk caught her attention. Azura pressed it and the ringing sound carried through the whole room. It was loud and to Azura, it felt like a cannon fired next to her ear.

Soon after, the door behind the desk opened and a small middle-aged woman walked out. She looked a bit stern with small lips and round glasses resting on her nose. She had hair tied up in a neat knot on her head, brown strands with some gray in them betrayed she was a bit older than Azura first assumed.

"Can I help you miss?" Azura was rudely awoken from her thoughts as the woman placed her hands on the desk.

"Uh yes... I have an appointment with Dr. Jensen at eleven." Azura tried to give a small smile but she was put off immediately by the stale look the woman gave her.

"Your name?" She said rigidly.

"It's Azura Thoreau. Rose made the appointment." She took a step back, intimidated by the woman in front of her.

The woman raised an eyebrow at hearing her name but quickly composed herself again with a much softer look on her face. "Ah, Rose! Such a dear. How is she?" The sudden change of demeanor caught Azura off guard, but the woman would not let Azura reply. "Yes, yes... Here you are. You can go right ahead. Take the door on your right and then the second to your left. I will let Doctor Jensen know you'll be coming."

Azura nodded and turned to her right, letting out a sigh of relief as she walked away from the woman. Going through the door, she ended up in a hallway with a high ceiling and dazzling mosaics on the walls. Azura walked forward with her fingers lingering on the small tiles. Just then she noticed there was more to the wall than just colorful tiles, they formed an image across the length of the entire hallway.

Azura stepped to the other side and gazed at the gorgeous image that unfolded in front of her. It was like the view from her room. Mountains with snow, a blue sky with a few clouds, and pine trees. As her eyes traveled to the left her heart skipped a beat when she saw the snow leopard. It looked to be made like it was hunting a mountain goat also depicted in the image. Even though it was mosaic and not so detailed, the image looked so lively to Azura.

A door behind her opened and a short bald man stepped out of the room. "Miss Thoreau?" Azura spun around as he spoke up.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I was admiring the mosaic. It's simply amazing!" She smiled and raised her hand for introductions.

"It is, isn't it?" He shook her hand firmly and let go. "My name is Doctor Nicolai Jensen and we already established you are Miss Azura Thoreau. Come, let's go inside." She nodded and with a last look at the mosaic, then followed him into his room.

It was quite a change from the hallway to the office. It was furnished like an actual cozy living room. Warm inviting colors on the walls with simple but functional furniture. A modern desk, two lounge chairs, and a brown leather couch were the center of the room with a few bookshelves against the walls. Azura noticed more of the palm trees in the room making it more homely. Dr. Jensen gestured for her to sit at the chair next to the desk while he sat down on the other side.

"Again, welcome Miss Thoreau. Today we'll be talking a bit about you and what brings you here. I want to get to know you, who you are, and what drives you. Basically, what I'll do is I'll try to 'read' you so I have a complete image of you in my head. That way I'll be able to feel and place your emotions better so I can give you the proper tools needed to deal with your issues. Do you understand?" He stared at her inquisitively.

This was a rather strange introduction. Azura closely examined the man in front of her. His eyes were a strange shade of grey she had not seen before. He had a round face with barely any hair left on it. He was an overall round man, bearing a bit more weight than was healthy with his height.

"I understand." She replied hesitantly. Her muscles stiffened and she felt her shoulders hunching together, holding on to a lot of tension.

"There's no need to be nervous." He picked up on her uneasiness straight away. "Rose has told you about me and the way I work right? The more I get to know you, the more I'll be able to read and feel your emotions. Even the ones you don't feel yourself. That might happen because you either oppress them, or another emotion is simply too overpowering. It's a delicate balance. Right now I just feel you're anxious but there is more to you than meets the eye. I would like you to start feeling comfortable here." He placed his hand on hers and gave her a reassuring nod.

A warm feeling spread from her hand through her whole body. Some of the built-up tension flowed straight out of her system. She got a slight feeling he could not only read but also manipulate emotions. It didn't scare her though, it probably would help her she knew.

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"Now Azura, please, I would like to know more about you. What was your life like? Please just start telling your history. You don't need to elaborate on every detail, but I would like to know where you come from, how you grew up, and what made you, you."

Azura took a deep breath and closed her eyes. In her mind, she traveled back to her childhood.

"I was adopted when I was not even three years old. I can't recall my own parents, the only thing I have is this ring." She put her hand up and showed it to Dr. Jensen.

"My foster parents are regular humans. They had no knowledge of any other races or magic before I came into their life. But they soon learned when I shifted into..." Azura stopped. A streak of panic raced through her as she realized she had almost spilled her biggest secret in just a few minutes of being here.

"You shifted into... what?" Nicolai's curiosity was awakened by the moment he had seen Azura, but now it went through the roof. There was something off with the young startled woman sitting in front of him and he was not able to put his finger on it just yet.

"It isn't important..." Azura hastily continued. "Anyway, they were not scared of me and raised me the best they could. They have been wonderful parents. They raised me as their own, even knowing I wasn't normal, they treated me as if I was a regular human child. Maybe even trying to ignore what I am. So I went to a normal school, high school and so on... I was seventeen when I graduated but I did not immediately attend college."

"Why not?" He had noticed she wanted to stop talking. Short questions like this would keep her going and thinking about her past. Azura chuckled as she remembered herself as a teen.

"Well, you see... I was adopted... And I think it's normal for some adoptive kids to start questioning who they really are. I started rebelling against my parents. I cut my hair so short I had spikes, started hanging out with the wrong type of friends, drank alcohol, and even tried some drugs. Every night I would go out to either hang with them, or to release myself in the woods in my other form. I got into more fights with my parents and for the next two years, even though we lived side by side, the distance between us was wider than ever."

"Your new lifestyle wasn't giving you what you were looking for." Azura nodded as he added in what she had left unspoken. He could feel her loneliness radiating around her as she spoke about this era in her life.

"Yeah... After one night I decided I had enough of this fake lifestyle. My friends got drunk and decided to rob a night store. My ex-boyfriend joined them and tried to convince me to tag along as well. I didn't go. As they went off, I had never felt more lonely. So I came back home and cried my eyes out in my bed. Not because I had just lost my friends and boyfriend, but because that was the moment I knew I didn't fit in. Not with my parents, and not with anyone else who was human. My parents did the best they could, I don't blame them for anything. They supported me and cared for me in whatever direction I decided to take."

"Did they ever try to understand what you are?"

"Yes...and no. They wanted to understand but at the same time, they were too scared to find out by themselves, and that fear had rubbed off on me as well. I was a conflicted 19-year-old. My subconsciousness wanted to find out what else there was in the world besides me and normal humans. Surely I was not the only one, that would be illogical and I knew in my heart there was so much more to discover, but my fear held me back. Scared of what I would find. So for another two years, I was lost and conflicted. Now I dare say that I might have suffered from a slight depression."

"What makes you think that?" Even though Nicolai could feel she was telling the truth, it was better for Azura to give words to her own feelings.

"The world had lost its shine to me. Normally I enjoyed being out in the woods. I could not wait to see new things and loved my hobbies. Just before, I had started rock climbing and loved every moment of it, but I remember everything stopped feeling special. I didn’t get any satisfaction from any of the things I enjoyed before. I kept smiling at people, but on the inside, I didn’t feel happy or any joy at all."

Azura stopped talking and bit her lip. These were things not many people knew about and she was spilling them so easily here. She felt a little uneasy even though talking about her past did make her feel better.

"Dr. Jensen? You don't just read emotions do you?" He filled a glass of water and handed it to her.

"You're right. I can feel and read them, but as I had already said, I can also read the subconscious ones, and those are the interesting feelings. They show me what direction a conversation will go because before your brain has formed words to express that feeling, the feeling is already in your body. By knowing what will come, I can make you feel more at ease. See it as a small fence that's preventing you from talking. I can chip away at that fence so you let go of your anxiety to talk. But that doesn't mean I can do it all the time. With some feelings, people build too big of a wall for me to take down, and sometimes I don't want to take it down at all because my clients need to learn to take it down themselves."

Azura snickered a bit. "So you're like a master manipulator, and you found the perfect job for your abilities." Nicolai gave her a friendly nod back.

"Again you're right. Not all people like my methods though. It can be very confronting and it has a big downside to it as well. I'll explain that later."

Azura was a bit surprised when he mentioned it had a downside. She had been intrigued by his methods of making her talk. For now, it had only been about her childhood and she hadn’t too much to hide anyway, but what would happen later on? Could she actually trust him? Her worries started to surface again as she got lost in her own thoughts. He could not know what she was and without that knowledge, it would be impossible to confront her fears.

It became harder to breathe and Azura closed her eyes trying to fight the feeling she knew all too well. Her fists were clenched together and her head started to hurt. Dr. Jensen had gotten up from his chair as he started to feel the change in Azura, he walked around her and gently grabbed her by the shoulder.

"It's okay to doubt me, but I am not the enemy. You can take this one step at a time whenever you are ready but know you can't carry this burden alone. Now just breathe deeply and focus on that. When you've calmed down we'll schedule the next appointment if you want to continue."

His grip brought Azura back to reality. It was gentle, yet firm, enough to calm her racing mind and let her focus on what was going on. She needed some time to think about what he had said and to give room to her own doubts. After taking a moment for herself, overthinking what had just been said, she heaved a deep sigh and tried to smile as she got up.

"Thank you for today."

"No problem. Just go back to Vicky and she'll set you up. Just one last bit of advice because I can sense a lot is going on inside you; find some company for the rest of the day. It might seem as if we haven’t talked much about your issues, but we have already started touching them by talking about your childhood. It can cause some heavy responses from your body and mind."

They walked out of the office and Azura threw a last glance at the snow leopard mosaic. She fiddled with her ring as she did and turned around to walk to the exit. Doctor Jensen had carefully examined her as she left, her interest in the mosaic combined with her touching the ring was fascinating. But if what he was suspecting turned out to be true, it was only a matter of time before all hell would break loose in this city.