It was mesmerizing; watching the blood trickle out of a superficial cut on the upper arm made her feel so alive. She yanked the knife across the arm again, creating a slightly deeper cut underneath the first one. The faceless body stayed still as if it did not feel any pain. Blood welled up again and she smiled as it started to flow down to the floor. She followed the trail with her finger and carefully licked the crimson fluid of her finger. The taste was salty, almost iron-like. Azura closed her eyes and her smile grew even bigger as the taste spread in her mouth. Her heart rate increased as her tongue slowly moved past her lips. She cut the body again, this time a whole lot deeper. A moan escaped her lips as this time the amount of blood flowing out of the cut was significantly more. The need to taste it and touch it became overwhelming and without thinking, she put her lips against the stream and drank.
The flow of blood stopped just like with the first two cuts. Azura leaned back and licked her blood-stained lips clean. She wanted more. The still body wasn't enough. She wanted to feel it shake and shudder, see the skin grow pale, see the terror in the eyes. The rush it gave her every time she cut it withered as soon as the blood stopped. It was an addiction. She couldn’t stop. In a desperate attempt to feel the adrenaline again she moved the knife to the thigh of the body and cut it long and deep. She severed the main artery and instead of a steady flow, the blood spurted out in pulses in sync with her own heartbeat.
A small laugh erupted from deep within. She rubbed her hands together as the blood came out in bursts. Her breathing turned into panting as the excitement deep within her core started to grow. This was it, the feeling that she craved so much. Azura closed her eyes and lifted her head up to the sky waiting for the ultimate release.
It didn't come.
Her eyes sprung open as she quickly looked down. The bleeding had stopped. Frantically she moved her hands over the cut, dug her fingers in the wound and went under the skin.
Nothing. Not even a single drop was left.
She retracted her hands, took the knife again and swiftly made several more cuts across the stomach. The cuts remained dry. Azura frantically cried out as she cut the body even more.
"No... Please! I need more!" Her desperation grew only bigger as it dawned on her that the body had been bled empty.
Azura got on her feet and stared in horror at the lifeless form in front of her. She watched the puddle of blood merge with another and automatically her eyes followed the other pool till they stopped at another cut-up body. A gasp of surprise caught her as she noticed another behind it and as she looked up, the line of dead, lifeless, cut-up bodies continued on and on. She counted ten, twenty, and still, there were more. Did she knife all of them? Had she bled them all out in sheer desperation of her own release?
"They won't give you what you're looking for. Try me instead."
That voice... She recognized it. It couldn't be though. Azura spun around and stared at Charlie. He was grinning from ear to ear and in between his eyes was a small gaping hole with one drop of blood.
"Cut me. Let my blood flow, drink it, touch it, savor it! It will give you your much wanted release." He reached out to her but she stepped back.
"No! It will kill you! I can't kill you. I loved you!"
Charlie stopped and laid down on the ground in line with the other bodies. Azura ran over to him and grabbed his arm to drag him back up but he was so heavy he didn’t move an inch. He just stared emotionless at her as she desperately was tugging at his body. When she was out of breath she finally stopped and dropped to her knees next to him. Charlie turned his head so he was facing her again and spoke up.
"Did you really love me or did you just want to believe you loved me? Did you have the same feelings for me as you have now for Lucas?" Azura stared in horror at Charlie.
"Cut me! Kill me! Drink my blood!" He yelled at her. "You have found your replacement! Drag that knife across my skin or I will drag him to hell!"
"No! Don't make me do this!" Azura was crying as she clenched the knife in her hand. It was as if an invisible hand forced her to move. Azura whimpered softly as her hands moved over his body. They stopped as the blade rested at his throat. It felt so good, yet so wrong.
"Please, don't make me do this." Her whimpers remained unanswered. Charlie grinned at her. The look in his eyes unlike any she had ever seen from him. Evil reflected back into her own
"Kill. Me." He demanded.
She could feel the pull in her arm, her desire to actually do it but she resisted as much as possible. The tip of the knife pierced his skin nonetheless. A single red drop appeared. The rush appeared in her body again. The tingling sensation she loved. It warmed her up, spread on her body as if it was the first time being touched intimately. The pull became stronger and she knew she could not resist it any longer. Another whimper escaped her mouth despite her body wanting it. She wanted to close her eyes, to run away but her body did not respond. Her body needed the release so bad it had stopped listening to her mind screaming no.
With one swift move from left to right, she cut him open. The force with which it happened was so strong that a red stripe splattered the floor from the blood that was flung from the knife. A loud moan escaped her lips. She was so close but it was her body betraying her. It wasn’t her, not her consciousness that wanted this.
Azura stared down at the slice she had made. Blood oozed from his throat. She could see air bubbles rise through the red fluid, they burst one after another. His mouth was moving, gasping for air, his tongue and teeth covered in blood. She could see the red stains on his teeth and she had to suppress the urge to taste it. All she wanted was to move her tongue across his lips, dip between and clean his mouth. The thought made her sick and revel in joy at the same time. She had just cut open her former lover's throat and she wanted more. It made her sick.
This needed to stop! She was no killer! What had she done?! Tears flowed down her cheeks as she stared at the smiling face of Charlie. He spit some blood out of his mouth as a smile formed on his face, his voice resonating in her head. "Stab me. Finish me. Once you do, you'll feel what you've always wanted to feel."
Tears ran down her cheek as she sobbed. She didn’t want this, she was no murderer! She hadn’t killed him. Her hand moved the knife to his heart, she could feel it beating, following her own rhythm. She knew what would follow but all the strength to resist had left her. Her hand moved up in the air, the knife pointing down.
A loud scream escaped her as she plunged it straight into his heart. A scream of ecstasy as she felt the knife dig in between the ribs. He was right, this was her release. Wave after wave of pure pleasure and satisfaction came over her as she kept screaming. She closed her eyes as she wriggled the knife free again. The ultimate betrayal of her own body. Inside she was screaming out in horror but her outside made it sound like pleasure. She had to open her eyes again. Had to see what she had done.
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The scream turned into one of pure terror as the body beneath her turned and shifted. Charlie's face changed, the hole between his eyes disappeared. Azura closed her eyes for what felt like a second and as she opened them she stared at the face of Lucas.
"Whoops. Did I forget to mention you'll kill him?" Charlie's voice pierced right through her as she clutched her own heart. It felt as if the knife had cut her own. Azura tried to breathe, her mouth opened and closed again but no air filled her lungs. Her eyes widened as the lack of oxygen made her lightheaded. But this was just a dream... Right?
"Breathe, Azura! Breathe!" A fist rammed into her back between her shoulder blades slamming all the air out of her lungs. She gasped, drawing in fresh air, and started coughing straight after. She inhaled again deeply through her mouth.
"Good, keep it up. Keep breathing and calm down. Follow my voice. Breathe in... And let it go. In again and out."
She followed the words. Until she was breathing steadily again. Slowly she opened her eyes.
The bed. She was in her bed. Slowly she moved fingers while staring at the blankets. She was sitting, a pillow in her back, wetness pooling between her thighs. Something was holding her up. Did she sleep like this? No that could not be.
"Can you look at me, Azu?"
Wait not something... Someone was holding her up. She only now felt the strong hands on her shoulders. Her mind was so fuzzy! All she could remember was that intense release, death, blood, bodies, and Charlie. Charlie, he wanted her to kill him. Did she? No... Yes... She did. But he had changed. It was not him. Lucas! She had killed Lucas!
As if every fiber of her body came back at once, Azura jolted up and stared at the man she allegedly killed. With a big push, she shoved him away from her and crawled against the wall hugging her knees. Terror filled her eyes but she could not yet find her voice. Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead. Her shirt was soaked and a shiver ran down her body. She was so cold her teeth started to chatter together.
"Calm down, Azura. It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you. You had a nightmare. That's all." For her sake, he forgot to mention her lips had turned blue from the lack of oxygen when he had entered her room and he was about to toss her off the bed to perform CPR if the smack on her back had not done anything.
Azura still had a bewildered look in her eyes as she kept staring at him. A nightmare? Had it not been real? It had felt so real, the release had been real and the blood had tasted so real. Was this real? The cold seemed strange to her. Slowly she let go of her knees and hugged her upper body. She pinched herself and when she felt the pain register she let go again.
This was real. Charlie had been a fake. That had been a dream or a nightmare. She focused back on Lucas who had approached her again. He was sitting at the end of the bed, his hand resting on her leg. How long had it been there? Azura frowned as she stared at his hand.
"Please answer me, Azu. Are you ok?"
Shit. He had been asking questions. She would kill him. She was going to kill him. He was too close. She stupidly had allowed him to come this close. People close to her died! And she knew she would be the one to take his life. She had to get him out of her room and fast.
Azura forced herself to look at him. She could feel the tears behind her eyes as she finally managed to speak.
"Get out. Get the fuck away from me! It was a mistake! Now get the hell away from me!” She slapped his hand away and watched him get up. She could not look at his face. It simply hurt too much.
*
“Lucas here?” Oliver studied the thin woman before him who shook her head. “Fine. You need to come along now, Azura. Ben wants to talk to you and Lucas has been postponing it for long enough now.”
She nodded and grabbed her shoes and coat without saying a word to him. Moving on autopilot, she did not care where she was going or with whom at this point as long as she was gone from the house. Oliver looked her over from head to toe before stepping back, allowing her to step outside.
“You healed completely within a week already?”
Azura stopped dead in her tracks but did not turn around to face him. “It’s been a week?”
Muscle soreness was all that remained now. The discoloration on her ribs had disappeared completely and she could move just as freely as she could before the fight. Now that Oliver mentioned it, Azura realized she was indeed almost completely healed...physically. Mentally, she had lost all track of time as doubt and guilt ripped her apart. The big empty hole within her had grown and without the Phoenix to fill the void, she had gotten lost within it. Nightmares hunted her each time she slept, but they had grown so many she no longer could tell one apart from another.
This morning had been different though as her mind had been a complete blank until she found herself showered and completely dressed eating breakfast. Lucas had been gone and she couldn’t shake the feeling something bad had happened. Her mind drew a blank though, but events of the past week did flash by. Images of her locking herself away, giving Lucas the cold shoulder, and her being a complete mess. The more memories flooded back, the stranger it was that she had been completely dressed now.
“Azura!” Oliver snapped her out of her dream state and gestured to the black Mercedes. "Get your head back in the game.”
She nodded at the green-eyed man. She had never actually taken a good look at him before. He seemed a bit shorter than Lucas, more the height of Steffen, and his curly short hair seemed to sit right in between the two men as well. Not as dark as Lucas’s but also not as blond as Steffen’s hair. There was a hint of a mustache on his upper lip and a mole just beside his rather broad nose. Bushy eyebrows framed a pair of almond-shaped eyes that lay deep into his skull. He didn’t seem so bad but not as friendly either. Wary, but she couldn’t blame him. She had just beaten up his partner in a tough fight.
Azura made her way into the backseat of the car and rested her head against the cool window as they took off. Now that they were driving she couldn’t help but let her mind wander to the past seven days.
This morning had gone by in a blur. She could remember bits and pieces but there were some major black holes in her memory. As she thought back to the previous week, she realized she was missing more parts of her memory. All the days seemed the same, overlapping and mixing together. As Azura stared out the window of the car watching the streets and building flash by she tried to puzzle everything together but came up short.
She had stayed in her room most of the time except for the times Lucas would almost drag her out to make her eat. She had kept her distance from him though, only talking to him when needed and avoiding him for the rest of the time. He had stopped trying to get close to her, though she could see the pain in his eyes every time they were together. With the Phoenix gone, she felt a huge part of herself missing and it had shocked her how much she had grown accustomed to it being there. How could she have ever lived without it?
A few conversations she had with Lucas popped up; mostly her blowing him off coldly. Somewhere she could feel a stab of guilt every time she did it but it was probably for the best, she figured. Some other times she knew she had spoken to him, but she had no idea of what she had said or did. And then there was this morning; she had woken up with more blankets on her bed than usual. She knew she had a nightmare but also what had happened there was a big mystery. Lucas must have come in... There was no other explanation. Azura placed her forehead against the cold window and closed her eyes.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Oliver shot a quick glance over his shoulder as Azura cursed. He raised an eyebrow as she punched the car door hard.
"Careful with the car, will you." He shook his head and turned his attention back to the road.
"Sorry." It was not much, but it was some sort of conversation. Azura rubbed her knuckles and made a mental note to not curse out loud again. She had cursed without thinking though as she remembered what she had said to Lucas this morning. Another mental note was to probably seek a new place to stay as she was sure she had screwed up big time. The car slowed down and eventually came to a full stop. Azura got out at the same time Oliver got out and stared at the massive building in front of her. Oliver joined her and took her arm, guiding her up the stairs to the immense door.