How could an entrance to a youth hostel be so daunting?

Azura swiped a few strands of black hair out of her face that were clinging to her damp forehead. She was burning up while the piercing cold wind continued swirling snowflakes around her. The snowfall was getting heavier and a chill ran down her spine as she felt a melted drop of water slip underneath her jacket to her spine. She twisted the golden ring around her finger desperately as she made up her mind.

This was her last option to get a bed for the night, otherwise she would have to spend the night outside once again. It was not something to look forward to as she already felt anxious enough. Facing the receptionist of the hostel while being close to a panic attack felt more appealing at this moment than having to find a place to hide her backpack and clothes and shift to her snow leopard to sleep. Besides, a hot shower to calm her down was much needed.

With that lodged in her mind, Azura took a deep breath, opened the door, and made her way to the front desk.

The moment she stepped inside, her fists clenched tightly and her breath faltered for a second as widened eyes scanned the environment hastily. Being inside a place like this felt like being smothered by a huge weight, making it so much harder to breathe. There was too much noise, too many people, and the walls seemed to close in on her at a rapid speed.

Azura blinked a couple of times and tried to swallow her anxiety down. She just needed to hold on a little longer. As she gripped the receptionist’s desk for support, it was noticed just how much her hands were actually shaking. She flared her nostrils and took a deep breath before looking up and facing the awaiting woman.

The lady’s face was gentle and kind with a hint of concern written over it, she felt her eyes as they scanned her over. Azura knew she didn't look so great, the last time she’d looked at herself she was shocked by her pale complexion, thin frame, and blue eyes that lay deep in her skull as if she hadn't slept in weeks.

"I would like a bed for the night, please." Azura tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible as she kept her gaze locked with the receptionist. It was the only thing keeping her sane. The soft, gentle green eyes staring back at her blinked a few times before they averted to the computer and eventually back to her.

"First of all, welcome to Pleyvale Hostel." The woman flashed Azura a sweet smile as she clearly didn't know how to react to her. "I'm so sorry, but we're fully booked. It's the high season and we just had a school class check-in. I'm sure one of the hotels has a room still available... To be honest you look like you could use a room by yourself more than sharing one with at least five others."

Azura tightened her hold on the counter turning her fingers and knuckles white. The desk clerk had a point, she would not do well in a shared dorm room, but she just didn't have the money for a hotel room right now. She let out a soft groan and nodded in understanding.

"Thank you for checking. I understand." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and let out a short huff before pushing herself away from the counter. She’d been leaning on it far more than she’d expected.

Azura turned around without waiting for a reply and grabbed her backpack, swinging it onto her back.

"Wait! Are you sure you're okay?

No, she sure as hell wasn't. Azura stopped as she stared at her feet. Her lip had started to tremble softly and she clenched her fists so tight her nails dug into the palms of her hands.

She forced herself to turn around with a meek smile on her face. Her gaze shifted from the floor up to the woman, and as she focused on the contours of her face, they started to move, changing ever so slightly. They were shifting, turning around, the lips changing from full and plump to thin, then even disappearing.

Azura let out a short gasp as she clutched the side of her head. Her heartbeat sped up so fast it felt like it would burst through her chest. Stumbling back a few steps, she turned around, breaking eye contact with the morphing face, and forced her feet to the door.

It was busy outside, people doing their last-minute shopping or tourists just wandering around enjoying the snow now that the festive lights turned on from the sun going down. Azura stumbled through the crowd, away from the hostel and occasionally bumping into people. The cold air clashed with the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead and dripping down her face, she was panting heavily, trying to get oxygen in as it was starting to feel like she was suffocating.

"Watch it, girl!"

A man pushed her to the side as she suddenly halted in the middle of the walkway. As if a bomb exploded in her head, Azura spun around, startled by the voice that painfully pierced her eardrums.

His face was morphing just like the others... A menacing laugh sounded somewhere up from above and Azura stumbled further back until one of her hands reached a brick wall.

"You're a killer, Azura."

"Wha-What?!" Her voice was weak and shaky.

She was staring at a different person this time. Her glassy eyes moved to his face again only to find the face that haunted her in her nightmares. The lips were twitching violently up and down, blood trickled from the left corner of the mouth, and his eyes were completely white with no irises or pupils in them.

"I said to be more careful. You almost knocked me against the lamppost." A man nudged his head at the pole next to him as she blinked a couple of times. His face returned to normal as he shook his head and walked off.

Dazed, Azura pressed herself against the brick wall, the only thing that seemed real at that moment. The touch of the stones spread under her fingertips was cool as she closed her eyes, trying to regain control of herself. Her breathing became even more irregular and more shallow, and instead of calming down, her heart seemed to speed up even more as well-known images of her nightmares appeared behind her closed eyes. As she opened them again to get rid of the devastating faces, bright flashes of a camera filled her pupils.

Each flash blinded her, sparking a jolt of pain in her brain and causing her to clutch her stomach in agony as she slowly sank to the ground with tears streaming down her face.

"Azura?"

Was she dreaming? The male voice sounded familiar. Brought her back to better times, easier times when life wasn’t so fucked up.

"Shit, Azu, it's really you! I can't believe it!"

That voice made her smile a little on the inside. She couldn't place it and refused to open her eyes just to get a face. The darkness that covered her vision made it feel like she was in a bubble. Safe from her nightmares, pain, and her body, which seemed to be rendered useless by another panic attack. She could stay here forever.

"You were supposed to be dead! I saw you being taken away! I… I believed you to be dead."

Dead? No. For some reason, she was still very much alive... Unfortunately. He had no idea. If she wasn't in this bubble she would be laughing her ass off right now.

Who was he again?

His voice sounded so familiar... From a time when life was less complicated.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

But didn't it get complicated soon after?

Darkness was clouding her brain. It was obstructing her thinking, her logic. It was for her safety, she believed, but it had come with very inconvenient timing. Maybe it was wise to open her eyes, then again, maybe it wasn't.

She felt someone tugging at her, but it didn't feel threatening, so she went with it. Azura allowed her body to follow while she stayed safe in her own private encasement. That voice was one she knew and it was attached to someone she’d once known. She figured if it was someone she knew, she would know if he meant trouble or if it was okay.

It felt okay.

Time was something that was no longer felt. She had successfully tuned out the internal voices as another external one had joined his not long after he had called out to her. It was female and she was talkative.

Now was the time to maybe come back. She’d felt them placing her down somewhere, felt the gentle caress of heat across her face and arms. It was almost like she could see the flames through the darkness. They felt like home as they had always done, but now they were forcing her to open her eyes, to truly see again.

She needed to face the world again. Right as the thought crossed her mind, images from her nightmares started pooling back in. The safety of the bubble was broken. A face emerged from the black void, its features twisting and turning, blood dripping from his lips, and his eyes white as they rolled back and forth in his skull.

"You're a killer, girl. A cold-blooded murderer. You enjoy this, don't you? Do it... Kill me! Let the world see who you really are! You're going to kill them all!"

"Azura? Can you hear me? Rose? Did you grab a glass of water?"

It was time to open her eyes! She pushed back the images as she became aware of her ever-growing anxiousness.

"I told you we should've taken her to the hospital, Lucas! She needs professional help. She's not even responding to us."

She really had to open her eyes.

"I know her Rose, I owe this to her. Imagine waking up in a hospital after having an attack like hers. It would drive her straight back into another one."

Maybe she needed to wait for a little bit?

"Then how do you know her? And how do you know what she needs right now?"

Or maybe she needed to open her eyes...

"She's the reason I'm still alive! She's the reason my dad came back alive! Three years ago, I believed she died after saving all of us in that theater. She fought back and won. I... I thought she was dead, Rose. The blood, the insane amount of blood, the blast... The sickening silence during and the very real silence after..."

It became quiet. She really needed to snap out of it. It was not safe in the darkness if she wasn't in her bubble. Blood rushed through her veins as she started to feel like she was about to start hyperventilating again. Just as she took a deep breath, something so cold hit her face she couldn't help but gasp loudly.

The surprised woman blinked.

Azura stared at the man in front of her with eyes wide open in shock. Water dripped down her face. She slowly moved her hand upwards, touching her cheek as if to check what was going on while staring at the caring green eyes of the man named Lucas.

He looked just as familiar as his voice sounded. A short dark beard that was slightly more than stubble, a light brown tan, and wavy dark brown hair that was slicked back.

It hit her like a truck filled with concrete. He had been there, at Greenwood college. She had even given him a tour and everything.

"Azura? Are you ok?"

She tasted the water on her lips and blinked a few more times before she scraped the sound from her throat.

"I-I'm fine... Thank you, I guess." She sounded so weak she disgusted herself.

He handed her a towel and she quickly dried her face before she glanced over at the woman behind him. Light green eyes sparkled with life and joy as she smiled, freckles on her small round face, and dirty blonde hair in a pixie haircut. Even though she was short, she made quite an impression and from what Azura had heard, she could be quite a handful.

"Glad to see you're alive and kicking. And sorry, I had no idea he wanted to use that glass of water to throw in your face. I'm Rose by the way. That guy is Lucas, but it seems you guys have already met once?"

Azura actually managed to flash her a small smile as Rose nonchalantly waved at Lucas. He looked like he wanted to say something back but last minute decided to keep his mouth closed. Azura liked seeing their little interaction. It made her feel a little more human and less crazy. After a small pause in which her mind cleared up a bit more, Azura answered, trying to make her voice sound as steady as possible.

"We did, a long time ago... In better days to say something like that. I'm just surprised to see you here, Lucas... I- I had no idea you lived here."

She switched her gaze to the fireplace watching the fire without waiting for a reply. It was a calming view and it seemed to draw her in mentally. The more it drew her in, the clearer the images of her former life became. She was once happily in love with Charlie while trying to figure out what had connected her and Nora together but now they were both gone.

She felt the tears prick in her eyes again as her lip started to tremble slightly. She had no idea how long she had been staring into the fire as suddenly someone snapped their fingers in front of her face.

"Azura? Are you sure you're alright?"

Her head snapped back to Lucas and Rose who’d draped an arm over his shoulder. Rose gave him a quick peck on his cheek before she let go and flashed a quick smile at Azura before she made her way to another room. Azura focused back on Lucas. She wanted to say she was fine, she wanted to lie as she always did but she couldn't. She couldn't pretend any longer. Slowly she spoke up, her voice shaky and sometimes even unstable.

"I'm not the same person you met back then. Everything was different and I was naive. This... Me being here is an accident. I should probably be going because I don't want to waste any more of your time already." She seemed pained while talking and even forgetting he was there. "I get these nightmares. I see the faces of the attackers... They call me a killer and a murderer. The faces shift to the ones I lost. They’re twisting and turning, convulsing, blood coming out of their mouth and noses..."

Azura stopped talking for a bit as she clenched her fists tight again. Lucas stayed quiet, almost shocked by what she was telling him.

"There's fire everywhere and I can hear her scream! Her screams of pain as the flames dance over her body. Then the flames dance on mine as well but they don't hurt. They burn me but don't hurt and then the whispering again! I killed her... It's my fault! I could not save anyone, I'm a killer, and they are right!"

Her words started to get more and more incoherent as she rambled. Tears ran down her face as she started sobbing. She hugged her knees to her chest and slowly started rocking back and forth. Lucas silently got up and sat next to her, pulling her into his embrace and softly stroking her black hair. She quietly started sobbing against his chest.

"You're staying here. There's no way I will let you walk back out there in this state. We'll talk more tomorrow. Just... Just know that to me... You are anything but a killer." Lucas spoke softly, trying to calm her down as her words struck home with him too.

Rose quietly made her way back into the living room. Azura knew why she had left the room and it had worked. Strangely, she felt no hostility from the spunky woman. She accepted Azura even though she was in the arms of Lucas right now.

After what seemed like forever, Azura felt herself calm down. A touch, a hug, it had worked wonders and Azura realized just how deprived she had been of it. After taking one more deep breath, she pushed herself away from Lucas and repositioned herself so there was some distance between them. She probably looked like crap right now but she no longer cared.

Rose walked over to them and quietly sat down next to Lucas who put his arm around her. They trusted each other and to see that actually got a small smile from Azura's face.

"Thank you." She said it to both of them, but her eye caught Rose's and the woman gave her a subtle understanding nod. "I am exhausted though... Is it really okay if I stay here?"

This time it was Rose who answered. She actually sounded happy Azura decided to stay.

"Of course! Your backpack is already in the room. Just follow me." Rose quickly got up and Azura followed more slowly.

She’d not noticed how stiff and sore her muscles felt earlier but now that fact hit her hard, grimacing as she stretched her arms and legs. Lucas looked like he was about to ask her something but eventually decided not to as he kept his mouth closed and got up himself. Rose walked up the stairs and stopped before the first door she encountered.

"You can sleep here. The last door down the hallway is the bathroom and the other door is where we sleep." Rose opened the first door she had pointed to, but Lucas stopped her as Azura was about to walk in.

"Azu, If you don't mind me asking..." Lucas paused searching for the right words. "You and Nora... You were like entwined together." Azura froze when he said her name. Her whole demeanor changed as she turned to him coolly, her icy glare made him swallow the rest of the words he wanted to say. It was like the temperature had dropped a few degrees instantly.

"She's dead."

Walking into the room straight after, the door is thrown shut behind her.