I look across the road. There are no cars. I look up. AAAAGH, THE RAIN IS ALL IN MY EYES! IT HUUURTS!!!!

Hmm. It was noooooot the best idea to do that. I’ll remember that for next time. Anyways, I cross the street, my wet hair flying behind me. I’m zooming across the street– just kidding, I’m walking– and an evil bus hits me.

You have been hit by a bus. Damage is unhealable.

All the passengers and the driver get out and rush to my side. One woman spots my nametag.

“Yuki, honey??? Yuki, you’re gonna be okay. I promise.” She turns away. “Jess, call 911!!!” The girl called Jess whips out a phone. “Hang in there, Yuki!” I can feel myself leaving Earth.

“Yuki!! Yuki, are you ok?!” Hmm, what do you think? Am I? The man who was driving the bus walks up. My vision is blurry; now he looks like a potato with a beard. Ha-ha. This is funny.

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“Oh, —-. I’m gonna be in deep water.” Yes you will, you bearded… potato-man!!! You hit a child!

The woman named Jess is panicking. She looks like spilt coffee in human form. Wow, dying makes you think about a lot of food. “Oh, my god. Oh my god. Hold tight, Yuki, I’m calling the ambulance!!!” OH, NOT THE AMBULANCE. WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY SO FAT?!?! Like, whoever’s in there is in pain!!! Get them a comfy limo or something!

“YUKI?!?! Oh, dammit, she’s bleeding even more now!!!” I look down. Sure enough, my stomach is… bloody. And extremely gross. I hurl all over Jess. She makes a face, then seems to regain her posture. “Hold on, baby. Hold on!! The ambulance is almost here!” She’s yelling. The driver is cursing. The passengers are panicking. Huh, I didn’t think my death would cause this much disturbance.

The ambulance does arrive. But it was too little, too late.

The nurses throw me not so gently on a stretcher and start– I’m gonna barf again– sewing me up. EW. EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWEWEW. It’s so gross. And as promised, I hurl again. The hospital worker makes a face. Man, I think I have a new hobby!!!

Hobby found. Name: Barfing On Strangers. Very.. unique.

Hmm. Very well could be my last hobby. Let’s go out with a bang, I guess!

I barf on the people one last time and close my eyes for a very long nap.

Aaaaaaand nope. A strange voice says, “Welcome to the Online World. Starting the game “Star-Crossed Lovers” now.”