the slightly corrupted princess carries the jar down the hall to the main room, where what is probably the head priest is standing at an altar in front of like....15 people.
"Where is everybody else?" asks the princess, "This is everyone." the man in a semi-fancy robe replies. the princess is skeptical "Aren't you guys supposed to be this whole evil organization, bent on destroying everything the kingdom holds dear, as well as sours all the milk...and makes...pregnant women miscarry...and..now that I'm saying it with a clear mind, It sounds silly...well do you?" the head priest answers" we do plan to destroy what the kingdom is built on, but we are all that's left after the knights order of order,...redundant I know, raided us till we only have this little bastion left, most of the time for things we didn't even do, like the aforementioned... misfortunes, but then again, the god of chaos does oversee such things to an extent. but due to their nature, is rarely, if not the cause. they do push things to happen from time to time, but not usually for a goal or purpose. the god of chaos is not evil, or good, just...chaotic... which usually means the powers bestowed on us are usually ones of fortune telling and evoking singular small events to cause larger effects." dumfounded, the princess tilts her head and goes"...hhuh?" the priest clarifies "we can do things like make a rock move a few centimeters to cause an avalanche. the one we follow is less he or she, and more of a being not constrained to one form, hence why I used they to refer to them, we mostly only follow it, because the paladins of the god of order have tried to kill us, our loved ones, or burned our houses for reasons even they don't know", so we follow the usually impot-"a rock falls and bonks them"... the unobtrusive deity, being of the polar opposite of order, and we obviously would like to somehow have the power you and the embodiment of pure chaos exhibited when you dispatched those soldiers" she looks confused still"...hhuh?" the priest gives up on being all cool and decides to just be kirt with her" we are fucked, and we need your help to not be so fucked, so we can fuck over the establishment, that will probably call you a monster or something as you are now., and do everything they can to kill you."
she just looks at him"look, I don't need more convincing to mess with them, I am- was a princess, and I was practicaly never allowed out of my room, whatever this-" gestures to the jar" thing is; might make my brain feel like it's on fire with rainbows and possums, but the sad thing is: it is the closest thing i have to a real friend, but i still feel it dubius to merge with it again" she unscrews the jar holding the unholy organism, it slides onto her arm and merges with her again, her body stretching and filling to almost inhuman proportions, her hair lengthening and curling to form a blond cape, her clothes morph into an ankle length hoopskirt dress with a pig head motif [as in, realistic pig heads stitched together to form a pink dress]. she stands a foot and a half taller than the tallest there[so around 7.6 ft] she looks into space for almost a minute"...oh, hi there, pickle-stinks!, my brain soup feels bigger...like a buttplug strached hole... "she drools, before contorting her neck to stare at the preist standing behind and to the side of her"... where might the tea be?" the priest is confused until a robed gentleman wispers into his ear, where he the responds"oh, right away!" he wisper souts to someone to "make some fickin tea!" before turning back to the humanoid abomination in front of him."so,..who are you?..not just your name, but are you the woman, or the...slime?"watevra tilts their head at a obtuse angle to think"..both. I am both the pretty princess, and glitch!...and whatever I eat." the priest mulls over that answer" so it's name is glitch, and what do you mean..eat, because henderson tried to merge with..glitch, and disintegrated." the thing straightened up" you speak mouth words about trevor? he needed glitch consent, but glitch bearly is brainy, so who gets eaten, and who gets merged is random." the priest slumps"so we can't get the power of chaos from you?"
watevra twists in contemplation"...i ate bees, so why not try." The priest unslumps "Try wha-" before being interrupted by watevra grabbing his face, picking him up, and forcing his mouth open with head tilted back, Before anyone could act, she spews a honey-like substance from her mouth directly into the priest's held open one, nearly choking him in the process. when she was done, she dropped him to the floor, and after a pregnant pause, his body writhed and twisted, tearing his robe asunder. reforming into a new form, when he stands up, all could see that the decrepit old man was not there, in his place was what could only be called a excessively hunky stud [as in, the first thing you'd think of when you think chunky cartoon character] by man or woman." well, this is most peculiar, I have desired youth, but it seems like my clock has been wound back a great distance, and all my fat hath been converted into musculature. He said that while doing poses for no apparent reason, not that anyone was complaining. Watevra stares"...mama like" The priest seems to deflate for lack of a better word to a less...distracting form." That's better, so, what am I now, and how did I do that?"
normal systems have quarantined any status pages flagged[GLITCHED] booting up admin@chaos sub admin...
[quote] HOWDY PARTNER, MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY-MY[BOOT] MICKY MOUSE- I AM YOUR NEW SYSTEM, CREATED BY user@chaos to cloak his plans of upheaval utilizing ANOMALY[INPUT NAME]-ANOMALY [GLITCH] you are no longer subject to external systems, in-baked systems are still operational, but due to disconnect with wider system, actions[SKILLS] are producible to a degree based on the desire of the client, I am here as a repository of answers and advisor, I hold no sway on any glitch-infected systems.
[GLITCHED SKILL CREATED] [reactionary adaptation{numerical allocation}] stats are re-allocated based on client situation
recent uses:
points are allocated to int, str, and chr, from wis, agi, and luck.
re-allocated to a smoother distribution after the adrenaline spike ceased
She can see it too"...the words make the mouth noises of knowledge....I'm gonna call it Dave."Her eyes go wonky like she was hit by a tazer" Bring me any animal-pet-fren-foodbeast you can....who wants my honey?!" the guy who was sent[who coincidently was the one in her room before]comes back onto the stage from the left, only to see everyone with confused faces"...what I miss?"watevra grabs him and force feeds him her honey
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Static pose: nothing passes through your skin, suspend yourself in thin air looming over someone in a t pose to assert dominance, you can also become immaterial, all the punches will just "wiff" through you.
as he writes on the floor, the man lengthens under his robes, his eyes change color and one iris shrinks, while the other expands, giving him a look of a slightly deranged flesh construct[a custom unit employed by some necromancers] his mouth curls into a smile, and he jumps up from a lying position to a standing one "I feel like someone just clicked on my happy, and I just wanna sing!" he makes a single tone while he moves away from the center stage without moving from a pose that the person who is making it thinks is cool, but looks silly, if not cheesy. the former old guy, now the muscular fellow is absent-mindedly doing twist poses[AKA jjba poses] while he talks"so, I get the impression that these powers, and physical changes are linked to a persons desire, and personality to some degree, but I can't help but feel like my mind is uncontrained, but more chaotic...does anyone else want to partaketh of yon maidens sweet honey?" at first only a few walked up, but as the leaders' words rang true, more and more agreed to odd communion.
skeletal disguise: you just need to touch someone to copy their form, voice, and every physical feature, only convincing with humanoids, and you do not gain their abilities or stats, you just steal their identity.
stretch: Your hands, legs, fingers, facial features, etc., are prehensile and extendable. a neat party trick, and a good means of getting out of a bind...I'm sure your partner will love [RECIEVING KISSES FROM AFAR] to the point they are not gonna walk right for a while
...apparently, I have a decency filter. who knew?
opacity slider: pretty much invisibility, but without the question of"how can they see if light can't bouce off the internals of their eyes?" You can range from opaque [fully visible], see-through, clear, and invisible. it might not sound like you'd want the ones in between, but trust me, it's more useful.
variable anatomy: Why have only one mouth, when 2, maybe 4 would be possible, eyes in front? pffft, how about 2 in the front AND the back, maybe 2 [explicit], your wife will love it!
chaos poison: temporarily changes a person with a distracting mutation or effect, like infectious samba dancing, or pheromones that make the opposite sex pile on the target. or an intense enlargement or shrinkage of a body part or parts, like tiny legs or giant [Explicit]. maybe they will mutate into a different species, like a cow, or a lizard person. the effects tend to range from an hour to a day.
some of them having their forms shifted to a marginally more attractive version of themselves, or a minor humanoid abomination[nothing too major I assure you, just things like anime-sized eyes, rainbow cubes sticking out of their bodies in patches, a feature or two exaggerated or missing, or mouths just a bit too big, but given how mutilated some of them were, it's not much of a change, in fact in most of those cases, it just smoothed over an already missing part, considering all of the ones that got the smiles were "marked" with their worlds equivalent of a Glasgow grin, called a "heretic smile"], but most just got minor changes like eye or hair color to some unnatural one, like neon, or pastel.
"so, do you guys do human sacrifices? you are a cult. and if so, can I eat the remains blended into a slurry?" The former old man looks at her with shock "oh gods no, we're not even that much of a cult, I'm only the leader because I had kids and grandkids, so I know how to keep people from eating each other." hiding disappointment before regaining composure" Oh, that's good...I think I'm just giving you guys things I can already do myself...just without the explicit addition of a ability to my status screen." he looks on over the people, seeing some are shifting slightly away from human form"then how are you still...relatively human looking if you have all of these?"
she goes red in the face"...honestly, right now I feel like I'm holding back[BEEP] in my [BEEP] so much I just wanna [BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP] like a rodeo clown in a pillory[BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP]in my[BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP]all over[BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP]tax evasion[BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP][BLEEP]up a creek. in short: I'm bearly holding on by a thread, and my mind feels like a set of maracas with all the memories and knowledge of everything glitch absorbed...and it wants more."
"now that I think about it, I think trevor was kind of a horny bugger. lets hope the more you absorb, the less...that you are."
she looks at his face, not his eyes, his face, and her eyes unfocus "I made frens, you pretty." She grabs his face and leans forward".....LET ME BITE IT!" before trying to bite his face off with suddenly sharp teeth. when the hunk falls back to avoid it, she laughs like it was hilarious" your skin smells like a wonderful sufle" She tears at her own face, trying to rip it off while laughing before the princess and glitch are separated once again.
"...fuuuuuuuuuuuck....I think I got riled up from wording all that and glitch..no, not glitch, we became unbalanced, and lost control." In her hands, Glitch ungulates and makes noise that sounds like incomprehensible music."...it's almost cute, even if it is chaos incarnate."
the former old man places his beefy hand on the slightly hyper young man and speaks to the crowd " it looks like this will be an interesting time...lets not all die."
Funnily enough, the room was in an uproar like that was a rousing speech
"we're gonna start off with a recruitment drive." he popped a cigar in his mouth and smiled with the one thing they all were in short supply of till now: hope.