Attention! Attention! I'd like to call to order for the next official meeting of the Reincarnator's club. There are important updates to discuss aka save my little butt. But in order to do that, I have to find the club's only other members.
Grampa.
Now, where could he be?
He did not stay in the mansion last night. That's nothing too new. This is honestly more of my parent's house than anything. Does grampa even have a permanent residence?No the troop's garrison grounds do not count.
Not that he needs to or anything. He's always around somewhere. Either that or chasing Gable around not so secretly. Talk about annoying, wonder how Gable puts up with it all these years?
I really need a mirror phone or something.
Right now I still don't see grampa, but it's a little difficult to find him in the mess that is my birthday
The 'party' is quite easy being that it was another cozy affair primarily for the adults to socialize *cough* network *cough*. As a child, even the star of the day, all I had to do is look pretty and stay well behaved. There's not much for me to do or rather should I say there's not much I am allowed to do.
Earlier Mother said "behave".
Father, however, helpfully translated that to mean, "Play dumb".
That includes no talking back to, seriously responding to, or shocking and terrifying anyone. Essentially do not be myself. If possible do not talk much at all. Keep my mouth shut. All that fun stuff.
How rude.
But I see where father's reasoning is coming from. The standard 3 year old does not walk and talk or generally behave as I do. I would rather not be burned at the stake as a toddler witch. Or causing myself unnecessary trouble just yet.
I must hang on to my small cute child card for as long as possible. It's easier to work under the radar that way with no one suspecting me.
A tad annoying how no one can take me seriously but at this age, I don't want them to. I'm too defenseless to sit at the big table. I know what the adult world is like best for noblewomen, let alone villainess ones that have to scheme at every turn! Let's just play cute and dumb while sticking to my parents.
Not that it's very hard to play Lilyanne for the evening.
Isn't my little sister the model loveable little baby girl? Well there we go. My perfect inspiration in 'playing dumb', sorry Lilyanne. With our frilly little toddler bonnets on, there's no way anyone can tell up apart! When she giggles or clapped at something shiny, so did I, with appropriate timing and judgment.
It's even easier if I just pretend to dose off like the sleepy infant that I am.
I really did try to keep awake and do some information spy work but it was all so boring. Nothing interesting ever goes on at a baby's birthday.
I'm not allowed to talk to the adults according to father but I really can't talk to the few kids that were allowed in. I can keep up the act in front of adults but playing babbling toddler to other kiddies is rather demeaning. Ah I always knew I would have trouble interacting with kids. Can't be helped, I'm just too mentally grown up.
Clinging to mother and father the whole night is the best way to go to play cool.
Even though I was acting so well, mother looked shall I say, terrified?
Once in awhile she would peek under and readjust my bonnet as if it ascertains to herself that it's my little chicken head down there and not say, two Lilyannes. How rude.
Of course, she kept up a beautiful smiling face and played the perfect host for all our guests. No one knew none the wiser. Plenty of the usual; 'who is who' questions. They would try cozying up to my parents than really bother with little old me.
See mother, I can 'behave' just fine.
Overall it was an uneventful evening, despite technically being our birthday. I spent half of it basically making up for lost sleep from the night before. Since I was playing dumb there really was nothing to do and nothing was interesting enough to watch.
The supposed fashion really is horrible though, for both men and women. I can't say much about mother, being the on-trend fashionista but thankfully wide butt paneer dresses are not "In' just yet. Fashion is confusing here and mother does not help.
That's still something to work on, despite my previous influences. Thank god Father doesn't follow all the trends or wear....visably bright multi-colored pantyhose? What even?
It's like an old man yoga class in here? Are those high heels?
Oh well, work it misters.
Father is a bit...ok a lot, more on the conservative side with his robes and I appreciate that very much.
Hey hey hey father I know you said to behave for tonight but can we soon talk about tailors? Not just mother's maid but getting actual in house tailors. We'll save a lot of money that way against mother's shopping habits.
I have lots of ideas that won't include men's pantyhose! Or are those pantaloons? No no no they're just pantyhose really. Either way I need some tailors. It's very disappointing to keep calling Alfonso 'head butler' when he doesn't wear the black and white tailcoat costume!
I'm not kidding when I say things are rather medieval around here. I want my butler in an actual butler suit! Some snazzy and classy!
Yes yes, I can see it now, not just Alfonso. Uniforms! Skirts! Buttons! Aprons! Actual hairnets?
New practical clothes for everyone. Cloth is expensive? Well it's now part of the Ventrella employee benefits! We'll work on it. First let's give our staff, especially the menfolk, some more options with pants and trousers.
Pockets, pockets for everyone! God why didn't I think of this earlier?
In order to not get too agitated in my brainstorming or harm my eyes any further from the fashion disasters, I truly knocked out and slept the night away in my parents' arms. When I came to again it was already morning!
This is another strange new occurrence?
After the first trip to the farmlands, father seems to have no issue with sharing a bed or using me as a heated teddy bear. That's odd but fine, I don't take up much space and body heat is warm. Usually though when we're back home I'm put into the nursery with Lilyanne.
Not last night apparently.
Looks like we spent the night in our parents' bed again. Family co-sleeping? Is that healthy at this age? Lilyanne seems to like it if the way she's sprawled deep asleep says anything. The sun is up and no maids made any of the usual wake up calls but then again this is mother's bed. At this time father is already up and out I'm sure. Really such an odd practice mother and father have picked up, using us like the occasional teddy bears.
But my sister's and mine's current sleeping state is not my main concern. Nor is it the tailors to recruit to make staff uniforms.
I need to find that nutjob grampa!
Easier said than done. He could be anywhere doing anything! He's the hero with access to all sorts of strange devices, magical or not.
I really need one of those mirror phone things.
Well when things don't go exactly as you want it, which is how it usually goes, you always have to have some follow up plans. First I should inform Alfonso. That way if when Aflonso's super butler senses finds grampa then he can tell me. Maybe send a messenger bird.
Like father, Alfonso also rises early, usually assisting father in his work. I don't think I have ever seen the old man sleep?
So the next best place would be...my kitchens! If I can't find Alfonso then I'll head to the kitchens and someone will call for him eventually. It should be busy down there right now, that morning rush hour as everyone eats and busy readying up mother's usual breakfast in bed.
What a nice life the lady of the house lives.
Unfortunately for me, I can't live that lifestyle. My tummy can never wait for my maids to lag and finally feed me by mid-morning. So I always go ahead, it's not sneaking out, it's my own house. I'm not a little piggy I'm a busy and growing little girl! Besides I have work to do!
Ms. Greda calls me hyper, unable to stay still. Untrue, I am very lazy and well behaved when I want to be. Good luck attempting to catch me, everyone, may you all fail pathetically.
As I wander down the hall from my stop in my nursery room, something...unsettling...catches my eye.
It's kitti, just sitting against the wall.
No not a real cat or catlike creature, those are actually cute. This is the grampa's attempt at carving a 'toy' which ended up looking more like a tiny mummified cursed animal corpse. It's just carved dead wood but that's the impression it gives me.
I have since knitted a cover for Lilyanne's precious 'kitti'. Supposedly Kitti is supposed to be mine, a creepy doll in the set.
I tried really hard to do my best, making a passably cute cat pattern. I even gave it big black felt eyes and stuffed layers of cotton to soften it. Yet somehow it always unnerves me. Maybe because I know what really lies underneath cotton and cloth. It's just creepy!
Did Lilyanne leave it out while she was playing again? That's very careless of the maids, but hey their discipline isn't the best.
Abigail would tidy everything in the soap rooms but she's not one of my 'bedroom' maids nor would I send her to the wolves like that. I fear she might panic and scare herself silly. Then no one would clean and keep my precious skincare organized.
Sighing, I give 'kitti' a wide berth as I make my way to the kitchens.
At least my plushie knitting skills are getting better. Maybe I should add plushies and stuffed animals to my future company. Tiny ones to go with skincare packages? Big ones to sell to rich mother and children?
Cloth is expensive right? What can I do to cut costs down or improve supply? WHAT THE FU-
I freeze. Ahead of me down the hall is a familiar brown and cream knit, handmade kitten ears and all. But I swear I just walked past.....
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Oooooookay hurrying up now! Lalalala~ My brain is so muddled and filled with all sorts of things, I must have misremembered! Let's just turn a bit and take the servents shortcuts, it's faster. Good grief these long halls do things to a silly girl's imagination.
Oh wow are my little toddler legs getting faster? I'm glad my workouts are paying off bit by bit.
I don't expect to be monster levels but being stronger and faster than the average person would be great. The more the better. Durability too if I have to keep surviving gramps. I'm only three years old and I've been through so much already! Most adults don't live as dangerous a life as I do. Oh whooopeeeee lucky me.
Let's see the current to do list in order of priority: Find Alfonso- to find Grampa, gotta talk to grampa. I want to start on making clothing and beehives but both of those will need to wait before we can get the supplies, it's still winter after all.
Oh poop, visiting the stupid prince, that will put a damper to the schedule. Another thing to talk to grampa about, improved transportation. Can't he and Gable just magically poof me over there and back or something?
More importantly, for the time being, I need to maintain current projects, personal and joint. My soaps and recipes are my personal accounts and need the most work from me. Meanwhile the farms and father's 'inventions' still require my input and direction but can be operated by father.
Wonder how those new water wheels are doing this winter? We'll see the cover crop results come spring but winter cabbages should be ready now yes? Oh the beans! I forgot about the bean tasti-WHAT THE HOLY F#@!#@$!!!!!
I have cut through the servants' halls many times in my limited little life. The darker narrower halls with it's exposed wood beams do no scare me. The general shape of everything is familiar, uniform, even in the dark.
The vaguely menacing kitti doll shape on the floor is not!
What is going on?! That's not supposed to be there!
At this point, I'm on the defensive, my usual practice staff already pulled out from my interdimensional bag. Gripping the stick brings me a sense of comfort, as if I could wack the fear in my vein away. I find it difficult to breathe as my neck tingles and my heart beats a mile a minute.
I can't- sticks don't beat ghosts or curses or whatever I'm being faced with! Ahhhhhh wtf!!!!?!? I'm no good with actual ghosts!!!
Okay...okay breathe Rosa gurl, breathe. What do they do in the horror movies? Whatever the actors do, just do the opposite of that. That's a sure way to survive.
I charge, war cry and all.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"AAAH EEp! Mi-mi-miss Ro-ro- Rosalia!"
"What in the goddess' name! Rosalia what are you doing!?"
Georgie's nagging is music to my ears! Eat him not me!
But the bright lights from the kitchen windows and fires show me no cursed cat doll in sight. Only my very bewildered staff. Abigail has somehow gotten under the table and is still shaking from the surprise. I understand I must have made quite the scene this morning but there are far more dire things to attend to.
"Quickly! Grab fire! Holy water! It's in the hall!" no need to compose myself, this is an emergency!
As the young Miss of this family, my word is one of the laws of this place. Hurry! Come help me kill the ghost doll!
"What are you going on with now?" sighed the teenager, trying to pry my staff away.
"Kitti-it moved- it's following me!"
"Kitti?"
"The creepy doll Lilyanne likes!"
"....uh huh. Yeah Rosalia, how about we....wash your face? In cold water....very cold water. Let's wake you up."
"I'm serious!"
Luckily our matronly kitchen maid Barbara takes some candles and helping hands to light up the hall. Revealing ...nothing?
"It was just there! I ran past it screaming."
"....yeah, we heard."
"I swear!"
"Oh there there you sweet thing, George stop teasing our Rosalia! She's still a child after all." scolds Barbara, lifting my trembling form into her strong milky arms in comfort and protection.
I'm not being a scared baby! Don't misunderstand! Something weird is going on!
Yet no one understands. They all chuckling at me as if I was an amusing little thing, getting scared of the dark. I'm not scared of the dark you fools I'm scared of what's hiding in it. Obviously the cursed thing got away!
Oh I really need to find grampa now. What the hell has he unleashed upon our good clean household?
Of course, I'm not leaving Barbara's arms anytime soon. That and I've seen our lovely kitchen maid easily chop through tree truck-sized bones for soup stock. Good arms, very strong arms, keep me safe from stalking dolls.
Also please feed me, running and screaming for my little life is hungry work. Is that rice? I smell buttery rice and soups. I need comfort food.
I know no one believes me but I know what I saw. Haunted mummy dolls don't attack in groups this big during the day, right? Maybe it's not necessarily a haunting, magic makes things unpredictable.
Either way, I need to calm down and give the general search notice for grampa.
Scary scary things in this world. Soup does not solve all but it does make things better. Beany bean soup, I think the flavor improved? Not bad whatever they're trying out today.
I can't let the scary possibly haunted doll ruin me. I am a big girl now at three years old. That means more mobility to get things done! There's a lot of work to do at home. Let's digest by lightly surveying the gardens and the area I'm readying for my research garden. Yes bright fresh sunlight, no creepy dolls in the sun....light.
AHHHHF3@#$aAFS@!@!$#!!!! My heart!
Why is it in the dirt!?!! Why is it peeking out from the dirt?!! This kind of scare is really bad for my heart!
I do my best to smack and wack the thing from afar with a stick but what does that do?! Witnesses! I need witnesses!
However, by the time I run off and return with a stablehand and the old gardener, there's nothing there? The mound that I buried the cursed thing in is....empty?
AAHHHHHHH!!!!! Why me?! What is this shit?!
Okay, breathe. Breathe Rosalia breathe. There is a creepy maybe magic maybe haunted thing following me around and appearing. The pattern? I am alone when I see it. Okay then, until grampa comes, no more being alone. No more putting myself into that sort of vulnerable situation. I will not be a horror movie victim!
That's the thing though.
It feels like a horror movie and not in the so bad it's good kind. I don't mind a lot of things but I'm not good with ghost stories and stuff. All day I can't shake off the feeling I'm being watched. Anywhere, everywhere, this unsettling fear makes all the hairs on my neck prick up. I'm not just being scared or paranoid.
Most certainly, I'm being watched, followed.
There are times, hints, that I see that dirty brown vaguely cat-shaped doll. Getting closer and closer to its true ghastly form. But if I ever turn to get another look, it's gone.
I feel like going crazy. I can't do anything without constantly checking over my shoulder or looking at dark corners. Surely it's there, watching...waiting.
But for what?!
"Eeep um Mi-miss Rosalia? I don't think there's any more soap to cut?"
"Oh is that so Abbey? Huh funny that?"
Recently with the wire soap bar cutter, my processing has gotten faster and more streamlined. ANyone can use the string cutter, it's just a wooden case with some evenly spaced strings. Just open, place in the soap brick and slicey slicey. No need for Abbey or anyone to bust out a knife or anything.
So it certainly catches my eye, this out of place glint. It could be anything but not in my soap room, where I should know every detail.
A glint, a knife, and... m#@$%rrwggsds!!! kITI!?!!! hOLY SHIT!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
"EEEEEEEEK! Mi-miss Ro-ro-ro-sa sa? Wh-what's wr-wro-wrong?!" cries my little maid, completely innocent to the horror behind her.
Her fearful shaking is natural, nothing like mine. I don't dare take my eyes away this time, not lest it gets away again. It never moves as long as my sight stays tracked on it. The cursed little beast has gone too far, somehow brandishing a weapon. Even in the shadows I can make out the exposed rotten wood underneath parts of wear and tear on the cursed doll.
I should have known, gut feeling more than anything.
I'm scared-honestly very very ready to flip the table scared. But I can't let it get Abbey or any of my staff. It's me this thing wants.
"Abbey...go get people from the kitchens. Go now- hurry."
"Bu-but Mi-"
"There's no time Abbey, just go! I'll hold it off!"
"Hold? Hold what?"
I pull out my staff once more, preventing Abbey from turning around to her doom. That's how the horror movies go, one look and she's as good as dead. Especially with her clumsiness. I can't let this innocent person get dragged into this very dangerous thing. That's an odd thing about fear, I can't do anything for myself but when it comes to another person I need to step up.
"Just go Abbey- hurry and get help. Go and don't look back!"
"Mi-Miss!"
"I order you to run!"
That's the cue, my opening. As soon as Abbey finally makes a break for it out the door, I attack using her as cover.
Another thing about fear, the lead up is much more anxiously terrifying than the actual moment. When you confront the monster.
Kitti plays dead as I knock it and the gleaming sharp blade out into the light of the fire. Fire...yes fire.
Keeping a careful distance I use my signature move that has save me once before. Sweeping. Sweep sweep, push that thing over. At the prime moment, I use up all my courage in one swift burst.
3. 2. 1. Go!
With one hit I fling the horror into the fireplace, letting the flames crackle and burn it down. It's dark shadow in the flames blacken and crumples, dirt torn knit revealing more and more grotesque inner wood and stuffing. The echoes of disturbing demonic laughter ring through the air.
How horrifying. What has Lilyanne been playing with all this time? What has grampa given to us?
I fear burning it won't be enough, even if it's ash. I can still hear that grating laughter from forces above! It's still going? Things do get less scary after awhile and this has been going for quite some time as I stare carefully into the fire. Actually, more than fear I feel very irritated by the laughing at this point.
Very very irritated. Even though it's muffled, this laugh annoys me as if it's mocking me.
I feed the fire, ensuring it burns even hotter and the light flickers off the knife on the floor. Feeling a lot calmer since feeding the ugly doll to the flames, I can actually take the time to process things better.
What a lovely knife, as terrifying as it was a moment ago. The entire thing is not so large, it had to be carried by a child's cursed toy after all. The handle glowed with an ivory base and amber looking parts. The blade, while small, was sharply curved in a way that made it very ideal in stabbing vials. The swirls in the metal made it almost pretty.
That's not one of my kitchen knives. That's not one of my household knives at all.
The laughter still buzzes in my ear, like a mosquito, and I feel a great call to violent action.
Knife? A doll that moves faster than I can see and it comes with a knife?! Flipadee doo da knife?!!!!
I'm going to kill those brats!!!!!
I can still hear Lukas loud and clear all right! Get out here so I can murder you all!!! You can't escape, I know you're hiding in my rafters! Amar may be able to hide for the time but I can hear Lukas just fine! Out!
What a nice knife, the handle fits in my hands just right. I'll use this then. Now come out you twerps! You don't know the kind of torture you put me through, wasting my day like that. Was I funny? Was scaring me funny? I'll show you scary!!!!
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*Mini bonus:
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"Now Rosalia, what did you do wrong in this situation?" grunts grampa, standing tall above me.
I am currently on my knees receiving discipline and a scolding. Turns out grampa got my message after all. I am just cursed with bad timing.
Grampa burst to the rescue, except it wasn't me that needed the rescuing. How lucky for him, Lukas lives another day. Amar, however, was nowhere to be seen let alone caught. That in itself is enough evidence to blame him if the knife and Lukas' screaming confession wasn't.
From this moment on I give my staff full permission to kidnap him as they please, with whatever dirty means. I have a score to settle. Lukas, I at least managed to give chase and maul, blowing off some steam. Amar got off scot-free. For now.
Also note to self- never use Lukas as an accomplice in crime. He will tattle on you without any shame or need for interrogation.
"Rosalia. This is serious. I am talking to you." states grampa, sounding stern.
".....yes grampa."
"What. Did. You. Do. Wrong?"
"I shouldn't go around threatening people with a knife." I answer dully.
Really people should not do that or even play with dangerous things like knives. That's bad. However, I'm a little excused given my circumstances right? These aren't sweet innocent kids I'm up against, they're horrible little monster brats. I was mentally on edge all day! They started it!
Yet my answer does not please grampa, his expression still dark.
"No Rosa, try again."
"I should not....threaten people?"
"Nooooooooooo. That's not it. Far from it!"
"I should not...play with knives or other sharp dangerous things?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooo."
Is this a trick question? I already gave out all the appropriate answers. It's very hard to tell with grampa, he's unpredictable. Honestly, he's also at fault for giving us such scary looking dolls in the first place.
"I should have not destroyed your ....present?"
"No, well yea that too- I spent a long time on it! But no, it's clear to me you do no know your wrong doing!"
No duh. I have no idea what is the correct answer in the end and my legs are going numb from kneeling. Please release me so we can get to the actual serious business. If possible, also let me go stalking some brats and let me take my revenge.
But it looks serious, I'm in trouble with grampa of all people. Woe is me. This start to my year as a three-year-old is not going well. First, some prophetic dreams featuring me dead. Then boring parties where I have to play dead. Then Kitti!
Truly, woe is me.
"Rosalia! Are you listening!"
"....Yes sir."
"You young lady....were holding the knife in a completely wrong manner!!! That was a terrible stance for stabbing and at that angle? If it were a real enemy they would have easily escaped!" admonishes grampa, perfectly serious.
What?
"And if you just wanted information then you would be better slicing the enemy! Make them bleed but dance around their vitals! Keep it visible to increase their fear! Do you understand!"
"Yes grampa. Threaten by slicing."
"Right! Now we will work on your basic stabbing! Now come at me!"
My grampa is an insane and horrifying man. With a still very serious expression, he gets into an open bear stance, as if ready for a hug. Except his mouth is telling me to charge at him with a sharp object.
"Don't just stand there! You're lagging! Come full force and, don't grip too tight! It will slip. Wrong angle! Stab with more strength! Again! Do you want to mortally wound or give cute little love scatches! Again! Good passion! Again!"
This is also a sort of punishment in the fact that I'm being run down to the dirt in an impromptu charging and stabbing practice.
At least it's somewhat good training?
I have some new targets, even if they indirectly got rid of Kitti for me. Thank you for the birthday present boys. Come out of hiding soon so I can show you all how well I'm using it!