Practice wasn’t any different.

Well, it was, but also, it wasn’t.

Once again, Havek forced me to run an ungodly amount of laps around the gym, as well as burpees and hanging on a pull up bar.

After that he put me on practicing serves, away from the rest of the group.

I was stuck with Corill who retrieved the balls and showed me the motions.

“Here! Let’s do a basic serve first, the other guys always do fancy jump serves.” He beamed, forming a ball with his slime which made him shrink to my height.

Corill held the ball in one hand, cupping the bottom at an angle before using his other in a loose fist to hit the bottom of the ball. Of course it didn’t go flying since it was slime, but I nodded nonetheless.

I held the ball out, copying Corill’s movements and hitting the ball just for it to go flying sideways and out of the court.

My face scrunched up in a wince at the sight, watching the poor slime hurry after it and put it in the basket. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this, Corill. That accident really messed me up.” I tried to convince him, scratching the back of my neck.

That comment simply earned a determined glare from the other, who pumped his fist, “Don’t worry! I’ll get you back in shape lickity split! Even if Havek is pushing you a lot he just wants to make sure you’re in peak condition. I believe in you.” He shot a thumbs up in my direction before tossing me another ball.

Biting back a groan, I got back in position and bunt the ball once more, observing as it barely even made it to the net.

If I didn’t feel discouraged then, I most definitely felt discouraged now.

Even after several more shots, Corill tried to hide his look of disappointment.

“It’s alright, Xayan, nothing was made in a day!” He forced a smile as he patted my shoulder, “Maybe you should try working on receives instead?”

“...right.” I muttered, my arms sore from all the movement and strain.

My heart seemed to stir, a strange tingling sensation as I moved further onto the court. I stood there, waiting as Corill asked another benched member to come do serves that I could receive.

Maybe if I begged the coach enough, he’ll let me go. Xayan already had good grades, and it seemed as though it’d be easy to get a job in this universe, so if I’m stuck here for too long I can always go and live a normal life.

Volleyball really isn’t my thing, huh? Even in a body that's been conditioned to play I still have no talent.

Ugh, why didn’t Corill let me quit anyways? He was one of the students begging for me to stay, yet he seems to resent the idea of needing to help or teach me despite his knowledge.

Did Xayan do something? What’s their history together? Why did Xayan even get into volleyball if he could do anything else?

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of a ball being hit, looking up as a volleyball headed towards me.

As if muscle memory, I shifted into position and cupped my hands together to let the ball hit against my forearms.

Holy shit.

That fucking stings!

Without any time to recover, another ball came flying towards me, hitting against my forearms once more.

“Ack- Wait, wai-” I tried to protest, but the serves didn’t slow at all.

Some of the balls bumped against my head, whilst others were too low and hit my legs instead. At some point I was wondering if this was just straight up bullying.

And, out of all 15 balls sent towards me…

The only ones I received correctly were the first two.

Corill groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and opening his mouth to say something before hesitating.

He huffed, putting his arm around the other player’s neck and turning around to talk with them.

All I could do was stare and watch as they whispered together, even calling over the players from the game since it had come to an end.

Each glance back at me sent a stab through my heart that I desperately tried to ignore, quietly picking up the discarded balls and placing them away in the basket.

When I saw Havek heading over to the group, I knew I was finished.

I hurried to put everything away, taking down the net as my hands trembled. My breathing seemed to grow uneasy as I wrapped up the net and put it into the gym's closet.

My eyes caught sight of the group, accidentally locking eyes with Corill who quickly looked away.

Fuck.

This hurts.

Why the hell does it hurt?

I barely even know these people, I shouldn’t feel torn about them.

I shouldn’t.

My jaw clenched as I turned my head away, leaving early to change out of my uniform in the locker room.

The world seemed to blur with every rushed step as the sound of my heart pounded in my ears.

As Xayan’s locker came into view I couldn’t help but let out a shaky sigh, clicking through the combination as I felt something drip onto my hand.

Without bothering to check what it was, I wiped my hand on my shirt, sniffling as I felt tears slide to the tip of my nose.

Each one that fell or was wiped away I tried my best to ignore, changing back into whatever outfit I wore to school and slamming close the locker door.

As I turned, it almost felt cliche that I saw Marian standing there with a worried look, “Xayan, let’s…uhm, do you wanna come over?” He asked, fidgeting with his water bottle cap.

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A lump formed in my throat as I wanted to say no, but every other fiber in my being urged me to accept, to go along with him and take whatever comfort I could get.

“Sure.” I choked out, “I’ll wait for you at the gate.” With that I turned away, hoisting up my bag and walking past Marian.

Past the rest of the team.

And to the gate so I could recollect myself.

-

“Are you alright?”

Those were the first words out of Marian’s mouth when he came over, worry etched into his face as if it were natural for him to worry this much over Xayan.

It felt laughable that Marian had yet to notice his best friend had been replaced by me, by an imposter.

But it also felt awful, I felt guilty knowing that I had forcibly uprooted Xayan’s life all because I slipped on some stairs. He had everything ahead of him and I took it from his hands like it was nothing.

“I’m fine.” I forced out, trying to ignore the weight in my chest as I began to walk, an uneasy silence forming over us.

I could tell Marian had something he wanted to say from the way the edges of his mouth twitched and he kept glancing over at me.

“Marian, like I said, I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m not gonna let their words get to me that easily.” A flat out lie. Even if this body wasn’t my own it still felt awful to have people talk behind my back as if it was nothing.

Even with my attempt at not letting my voice waver, Marian simply looked even more concerned but nodded either way.

Our footsteps blended together like white noise as we continued to walk in silence, trying to ignore the sinking feeling I had.

-

Marian’s house was nice, much nicer than Xayan’s.

The inside was clean, neatly decorated but not too overcrowded, and the smell of food lingered through the air. A stark contrast to Xayan’s, it made the two seem like different sides of the same coin.

His mother glanced over at me and smiled, “Xayan! It’s good to see you, my, you’ve grown since we last saw you.” She came over and squished my face, “We heard from Marian about your accident, are you alright? I hope you’re not being pushed too much at practice.”

Wow, she acted more motherly than wherever Xayan’s parents were. I moved her hands off my face with a soft grin, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Sprance, the captain has been making sure I get rest.” Another lie.

Fortunately, she wasn’t as aware as Marian, “Oh, that’s great! I’m glad. How about you boys head to Marian’s room and I’ll make you two some food alright?”

“Thanks mom.” Marian smiled, taking my hand as he led me to his bedroom. From his tightening grip on my hand, I could tell he probably had something important to tell me, or he was planning on asking why I’ve been acting so weird.

As if right on cue, the door to his room shut behind me and he looked me dead in the eyes, “What’s going on with you lately?” He demanded, tossing his bag to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, what’s going on with you? You’ve never let anyone talk behind your back and you never let Havek push you around like that.”

“Well, I did get hit in the head and forgot a lot so I think it makes sense that Havek would push me harder.”

“I know that! But what about talking behind your back? You’re usually the first one to scold everyone for that.”

“I-”

“And no excuses, I don’t want to hear ‘oh they’re just worried,’ or ‘oh I don’t mind.’ I want to hear the truth.”

I fell quiet, I really had nothing to counter that.

“I don’t know.” I forced out, looking away from Marian to hide my fear. What if he found out?

After two beats of silence, he finally let out a deep sigh and shook his head, “I understand. I won’t force you to try and find a reason now, but just know I’m here for you alright?”

Relieved, I nodded, letting out a sigh as I looked around the room. It felt nice, comfortable and much more decorated than Xayan’s.

Various figurines and posters littered the shelves and walls, along with a few scattered clothes on the ground that fit the stereotype of ‘protagonists rarely clean.’

I headed over to Marian’s bed, sitting down on the edge before leaning back fully to lie on it because holy shit.

It was so much more comfortable than Xayan’s! It felt as though I was on a cloud. Maybe it was because Xayan’s bed had several springs loose, but this made every bed back on Earth feel like nothing. I wanted to be buried in my grave on this when I died.

“Uhm, Xayan?” Marian leaned over me, chuckling at the sight of me laying on his bed, “I guess all the workout from Havek really wore you down.”

I nodded in agreement, rolling over on the bed and pressing my cheek against the mattress, allowing my eyes to flutter closed.

As I tried to steer myself away from falling asleep, a hand rested gently on my head, stroking my hair and coaxing me to sleep. Even with the awkward position of half my body hanging off the bed, I didn’t seem to mind.

It reminded me of before I came here…

-

“████, isn’t this nice?” My mom said as I stared up at the stars.

Only six and they already decided to bring me camping, always quite enthusiastic about nature and the woods specifically.

I nodded with excitement as I reached out my hand as if hoping I’d be able to catch a star in my hand, giggling.

“You know,” She put her hand on my small fist, “Even if you can’t catch these stars, I know a type you can try to catch.” Her hands hooked under my armpits as she lifted me up and into her arms, beginning to walk towards the edge of the forest.

There laid a grassy hilltop filled with ‘stars,’ each one blinking and hovering in the air.

My eyes lit up in pure joy as the moment I was placed down, I ran towards these stars and reached out to grab them.

Every flail of my arm dispersed the small critters as they continued to flash and glow.

“Don’t go too far!” Mom said, still standing at the edge of the forest with a soft smile.

Those stars, the fireflies that lit up that night sparked a dream inside of me that I had long forgotten at this point.

I wanted to be an astronaut, so that one day I could catch a star, a real star, and give it to my mom.

So what…happened?

Why don’t I want to be an astronaut anymore-?

Why can’t I remember?

-

I jolted awake to the smell of food, quickly sitting up as I found that I had now been fully tugged onto the bed.

“Oh, you’re up!” Marian looked over, pausing the game on his computer, “Mom just finished cooking, so I was gonna wake you up anyways.” He smiled warmly, getting up from his desk and waiting for me at the door of his room.

I stammered out something unintelligible as I dragged myself off the soft bed, rubbing my eyes with a yawn as I shuffled over to follow him to the dinner table.

Laid out was…relatively normal food, I wasn’t too sure what I expected, but it seemed like your average dinner for when a friend is over and your mom is actually willing to cook.

It wasn’t fancy, but it looked good at least. It was a simple hotdogs with rice and veggies combo, but it still smelled fantastic.

Marian and I sat next to each other whilst his mom called down his dad for dinner. I quietly waited to see what Marian would do, unsure if eating before everyone was there was proper in their household or not.

“Thank you for the food, Mrs. Sprance.” I said to her, who seemed quite surprised.

“Mrs. Sprance? You’ve never called me that before.” She laughed before sitting down. My face heated up with embarrassment as I realized my mistake much too late, even Marian laughed at the reply.

Once his father arrived and sat, they all began to eat which prompted me to follow along.

Thankfully all the food still tasted the same as it did in my world, but…

I carefully picked off the carrots from my plate, placing them on Marian’s food and watching as he ate them without a single question asked.

Like a true friend.

-

Once I finished, I decided it’d be best to head home since I still had no idea the personality of Xayan’s caretaker, better safe than sorry…

I grabbed my bag from Marian’s room and said goodbye to his family before walking back home, using Xayan’s phone to guide me.

You know, this really makes me wonder, walking through at night in a neighborhood I barely even know, how would everyone even react if I- no, if Xayan disappeared?

Marian of course would be devastated, but the rest of the team is…debatable. Maybe they’d feel sorry for Marian, but for Xayan? Yeah, tough shit.

In the show, Marian’s the only one that ever even mentions Xayan after he quits the team, maybe Havek once and awhile, but it was always Marian who sparked it.

Fuck, no one really gave a shit about Xayan did they?

I paused in front of the sliding door leading into Xayan’s room, staring faintly through his reflection as I brought a hand to my face.

Shit.

I’m just like him, aren’t I?