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I May Or May Not Have Caused the Apocalypse...? Tee hee~
Meatsplosions and an Interesting Offer!

Meatsplosions and an Interesting Offer!

I decided to keep practicing my control, being careful not to release the accumulated mana, or at least not anywhere near myself.

I waited for a bit for my mana to recover, which only took a minute and a half or so. I started dredging up the power within, and started toying with it. I found that the more I focused on the orb, the greater the control I had over it. Playing with mana was like playing with instant hardening clay, that could still be molded. If I forced it to become a certain shape, it would stay that way. It was really cool, because I was doing it entirely with my mind, so exactly what I wanted turned out every time.

I tried rolling the mana into a tube, and sharpened the point on it, making a kind of fat, crayon mana blob. Not what I wanted. I rolled out the tube some more, and put a definite delineation between the tube and the sharpened tip. Now that's a spear! I heard a dinging, but I ignored it for now. I'm gonna keep playing.

"Mom, how do I propel this thing? Do I have to throw it?"

"What you should try to do is impart the feeling of speed to it. Remember how you felt when you were running? Try putting those memories and feelings into the spell."

I nodded, and got back to it. I tried doing what she said, and I could feel the mana spear greedily eating the feeling of speed. Lifting my palm above my head, the mana spear floated just above the palm of my hand, and I aimed at a tree, screaming "Go!"

The spear left my hand, moving at about the speed I run. Which is not terribly impressive. I sighed, and cut off my flow of power to the spear. It kept going for a bit, and then just wafted away like smoke in the air.

I recreated the spear, which took less time because I knew what I was doing, and imparted the feeling of riding in a car to it. Aiming once again, I released it.

The spear flew extremely fast, and I was ecstatic. It flew at a speed of about 70 mph, and completely missed the tree, continuing into the forest. I heard a *thump* and a *Scree!!*

Rabbit has been slain!

+5 Exp

All this time I thought I had negative luck!

I walked into the grass, and after a bit of searching found the poor rabbit's body. It's head was missing, and the body was still warm. I felt bad, but I felt better when I thought about what Mom could make from it. I took it back to the clearing and sat down with it in front of me. Concentrating on the body, I made a sharp edge, and started skinning the body. I was tempted to throw up multiple times, but managed to keep it down. Seriously, this is gross.

I finally flayed all the skin from the rabbit, and I heard a rustling in the surrounding grass. A literal horde of rabbits came pouring out from the area around the tree. Now that I could see a live one, and it's head, I felt a lot less guilty about murdering the first one.

Four inch fangs drooped from the jowls of the rabbits, and their beady red eyes seemed possessed by a demonic light. And god were they fast, at least half as fast as my spear, which clocked them in at around 45 mph.

I started running, but realized it was hopeless. The rabbits parted around my mother like a rock in a stream, giving her a clearance of about 10 feet, and she stood there, waiting, while they charged at me.

I turned in place, and started charging my spirit bomb wanna be, saving enough energy this time to impart propulsion, and tossed it into the ravening horde.

*BOOM!*

An impressive crater was formed, and tiny furry limbs flew every direction. It started raining blood and innards, and I was quickly coated in said downpour. The threat was thoroughly eliminated.

Mom started clapping, still pristine despite her proximity to the explosion. "Well done!"

I just blinked. I guess skinning a rabbit aggros all rabbits.

11x Rabbit slain.

+55 Exp

Level up!

Level up!

++++

After washing off at a nearby stream, I sat on a rock, air drying myself. I was excited to learn more about the level up system. I opened up my status, and saw I had 10 status points to assign, and two things called Boosters.

Luckily, a ready font of information stood nearby, waiting for me to blow up again.

"What's a booster?"

"It's a part of the level up process. You can pick a skill and get double the proficiency in it until you hit the next rank."

Hell yeah!

I knew the basic idea behind the stats, but I was unsure what all effect they would have on my status, so I asked again.

"Can you give me the rundown on how each stat works?"

Mom took a deep breath, and launched into it.

"Intelligence gains 10 mana per point, Wisdom gives .1 mana regen per point, Endurance gives 10 HP per point, Strength lets you carry an additonal 10 and use an additional 1 pound in combat. Like if you swing your fist, you will gain +1 pound to the impact.

Stamina is how long you can push your limits, you gain 1 minute per point. Doing things that don't push your limit burns Stamina at 1/4 speed. Agility increases your overall speed by .1 feet per point. Basically, if you get 10 Agility, you can move an additional foot in the same span of time as a someone with 10 less Agility.

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Dexterity and Luck are more esoteric, but suffice it to say you can do much finer work in combat and...elsewhere, with pin point precision. Luck can't really be measured, but if you played coin toss with a friend who had 0 Luck, and you had 1 Luck, you would win 51% of the time."

She didn't even seem winded, and said the whole thing in one breath. High Stamina?

So basically, every stat was valuable. Ugh.

"You can gain stats from Leveling, and from training. Pushing your limits is the best way to gain stats."

In that case, if I increased my stats, I would have to do harder training in those areas to get points.

I decided to save my points, because right now I didn't have to do anything TOO crazy to increase my basic parameters.

BOO! I know, boring. It was my life at stake though! I could only imagine what horrors lay in store once I was able to keep up with dad in running. He seemed like a training freak.

"What's the average level?"

"Mm, about 300. Some mobs can go up into the thousands."

I had a long way to go.

"What's a mob?"

"A 'monster or beast', like those rabbits. Those were beasts. They have an average level of 6. They're really pathetic."

What does that make me at level 3?!

+++

It was getting really late, so we started the trek back home. I was really enjoying this world so far, even though it was tough. Hopefully I'll do better in the future.

Sis was waiting at the front door, wearing some frilly white and black dress, and waved us in. I could smell a delightful fragrance all the way from the gate.

I don't know how it got home ahead of us, but the rabbit had made it's way on to the dinner table. A huge pot of steaming stew awaited, thick and rich. I could see the liquid fat simmering on the surface of the pot, and quickly started scarfing down my serving. The meat was just on the edge of falling apart, it was so tender. The potatoes and carrots were perfect, soft and having absorbed the flavor of the broth. It came served with soft white rolls, which we used to mop up the remnants from our bowls.

I was well sated, and after cleaning out the dishes, we sat around in the den around the fire, enjoying being quiet and in each other's company. I started nodding off, and eventually Mom sent me off to bed.

At some point my prison...crib...had vanished, and a bed had taken it's place. I fell over on the bed with a *thump* and nodded off, before I could get the covers over me.

++++

"HEY! HEY YOU! WITH THE FACE!"

Are there people without faces?

I kept walking, intent on watering my plants. If I didn't get them watered soon, the consequences would never be the same.

"THIS IS A DREAM! HELLO!!"

I was annoyed, and quickly turned, mashing the watering pot onto the head of whoever kept disturbing me.

Then, I pee'd a little.

The Goddess was soaking wet, and holding her head, looking REALLY pissed. I guess she shrunk down, because she was the same size as me now. Maybe my dream wasn't big enough to fit her full size.

"What are you doing to someone who can destroy you before you can blink?" I blinked. Realizing she probably wasn't going to obliterate me, I bowed and apologized.

"I suppose I'm lucky I didn't show up in a weird place like the last dream. Yours is surprisingly normal, compared to some." She got a far away look in her eyes. I guess she'd seen some things man, and some stuff.

"Anyways," she shook her head, and her eyes de-glazed. "I've got an opportunity for you. You're doing good so far, but you could do better with a little nudge in the right direction."

I felt like this whole thing was cliche'd, and over done. Sighing, I nodded.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, being a God and all, you're too busy running things to ever stop and take a look at the rest of the world. That's why we need people down below, who can check to make sure everything's solid. Now, this isn't my world, but I'm kind of the only one who has access to you, since you're still categorized as a soul under my jurisdiction. If you could start submitting quality assurance reports to the god in charge of this world, I'm sure he would be grateful. In fact I know he would, cuz he dragged me here to ask you to do so."

So basically, he wanted me to review his world. Well, that wasn't so difficult.

I smiled. "Sure, no problem!"

"Excellent. I'll give him permission to drop by every once in a while, and get your report." -Goddess

"That's fine. What kind of reward is there for all this?" -Me

"Have you been having a problem with bad luck recently?" - Goddess

"Does a bear shit in a telephone booth?" - Me

"...sometimes?" - Goddess

"Exactly." - Me

We both smiled into the awkward silence, then she turned around and left. I got back to watering my plants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ate too many hot peppers over the last few days. If you faintly hear "I REGRET!!" It's probably my screaming, from the toilet. You can hear it wherever you live, stay tuned.

Also, once again, fuck bureaucracy.