Well, here we go. I've been born. I'm looking around, with my bleary, brand new eyes,

Mom is laying on her back, panting, she looks beat. Sorry Mom! Seriously though, even though she's covered in sweat and looks kinda dazed, she's hot. 9/10 at worst. My dad has good taste. Speaking of him..

I struggled to rotate my tiny, weak head and looked up. Dear god, is that a bear? No. No, it can't be. Right? Yeah, now that I look closer, the dude just has an amazing beard and mustache combo. I always wanted one like that, but I was toast before I could grow one.

Ignoring his massive amount of facial hair (Ever heard of a razor?) , he had warm blue eyes, and the biggest grin I've ever seen splitting his face. I guess he's happy? What were you expecting to come out of Mom? A chupacabra?!

"What is it, what is it?!" -??

Piercingly high, annoying screeching. I looked around again. My sister, I expect. She looked to be about 12, and though she didn't really resemble my parents, it was difficult to tell without a little more time to look at her.

About the time I started looking at her, My dad flipped me upside down and held me by one leg.

"It's a girl!" -Dad

...wait what. WHAT WHAT WHAT FUCK YOU MAN!

I tried to do a sit up, which was of course impossible, being a newborn. What about all that error and overwriting stuff?!

WHAT ABOUT MY MANHOOD!!

Dad squinted his eyes, and leaned in a little bit.

"Wait, no, it's a boy. Hard to tell."

I died a little inside.

"Yaay, a little brother!" - Sister

I think I will forever have a complex about the word little now. Still. Better some than none? RIGHT? I'm' just going to assume you agree with me.

"Dear, quit holding him like that, his face is turning red! I'll fucking kill you!" - Mom

Dad visibly blanched, and started holding me properly.

"Um, what was his name again? I may have forgotten." - Dad

How do you forget something like that?! How many children do you have!

"Well he's a boy, so we decided to call him Duorey." - Mom

I think I can live with that name. At least it wasn't something silly like Burninator.

My body was pretty exhausted, but my mind was wide awake. Still, some things you can't overcome, so I slipped into a deep sleep.

I woke up in prison! No, wait, cradle. Yup, this is definitely a cradle. Why are the bars metal?! Am I a demon?! At least the padding was comfortable. Felt like feathers, without the pointy parts. I flailed a little, enjoying it immensely. I heard an odd grumbling, and then I realized how ridiculously hungry I was. Honestly, I was so hungry I started crying. I know, lame of me. You'll have to forgive me somehow.

"Here now, what's all this ruckus?" -Dad

You can't feed me! You ain't got no tits! I started crying louder the closer he got.

"Fine! Fine! I'm leaving!" - Dad quickly retreated.

Mom came into the room, and yeah I'm just gonna skip the nitty gritty here. Seriously, do you want a description of everything? I refuse, for both of our sakes, to describe my Mom's tits. I'm also going to leave out every time I answer nature's call. Some things, you just don't need to know about.

Sated, I gave her a smile. She held me for a while, cooing at me. Dad crept into the room, eyeing us warily.

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"Is it time to give him that?" He asked.

She nodded. "He's a very peaceable baby. I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. Go ahead."

Dad pulled out a small needle, and approached me.

I eyed him warily. Anything having to do with needles probably won't end well. Still, Mom seemed to think it necessary, so I let him do as he will, laying quietly in Mom's arms.

He grabbed my ear, and swiftly thrust the needle through, and then proceeded to threat a long, dangly earring through the newly made hole. It was made of silver, it looked like a tear drop made of small then increasing in size rings, finally terminating in a small diamond.

He made the hole and put the earring through so fast that I honestly couldn't feel any pain from the whole process.

"Done!" Dad said with a smile.

Mom smiled as well, and started talking directly to me.

"Hey son. Welcome to the world!"

Just for the hell of it, I decided to talk back at her. I know I wasn't fully developed, but a little baby gabble wouldn't kill me.

"Hey Mom! Nice to be here!"

Instead of the expected gibberish, clear, fluent English came out.

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!

Mom's smile was fit to split her face. "You're remarkably fluent for being newborn. It usually takes a few weeks before babies get beyond the 'Milk!' and 'Poopie!' phase."

I attempted to nod, but once again my newborn muscles failed me. "To be honest here, I don't exactly feel like a newborn. I keep trying to do things that my body isn't necessarily ready for. It's really annoying, not being able to move."

Mom smiled. "That's because your Strength and Dexterity are at the level of a newborn, given that you are newborn. You must have been born with a remarkable amount of Wisdom and Intelligence to be talking already. Here, these should help."

She reached behind her, and Dad put three rings in her hand. She placed each of the rings on my tiny, stubby fingers, and they shrunk to fit, staying firmly attached.

I can't describe the power rush I felt when those rings attached. My tiny, newborn muscles fairly surged with strength, to the point I felt like running a few miles and doing backflips.

Mom placed me on the ground, and I attempted to stand. And managed! Oh, thank you Goddess. I wasn't going to be stuck in a crib for years, trying to manage my incontinence and flailing around feebly.

Mom was clearly delighted. "Already standing! With just this much help!"

Dad was pleased as well, and said in a somewhat arrogant tone, "Just what you'd expect from MY boy!"

I toddled around for a bit, getting used to my new limits. After a few minutes of walking, another blue window appeared.

Skill Created!

Walking: The basic phase of locomotion. Skill levels in walking increase speed of travel by 2.5%. Beginner Level 1.

I was amazed, yet again. Skills..it couldn't be..

"STATUS!!!" I yelled at the top of my itty bitty lungs.

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Thank you for your assistance with the tables guys! NEVER USE QUICK EDIT! Post re-spaced.