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I Keep Reincarnating, Why Is He Still Alive?
Chapter 54 - Flying snow and dust

Chapter 54 - Flying snow and dust

I carried Sui Yan's body and found an abandoned fishing boat by the riverbank. I thought, why not drift down the river like this? It might be for the best.

If I couldn't hold on any longer, I'd just let myself drift along, resting on a river of stars.

Midway, an unexpected guest boarded the boat—a woman with striking features.

She said she had escaped from a high-class brothel, selling her skills but not her body.

I was taken aback. She spat twice and corrected herself, saying she sold her body but not her skills.

I asked if she brought any instruments and could play a tune for me.

She nodded confidently, then puffed her cheeks and began to perform her unique skill—playing her face with her fingers.

I fell silent and raised a hand to stop her performance.

She said if I paid more, I could enjoy her belly-playing act, but I had to persuade her to take a break.

The poison in my body hadn't claimed my life yet, even though I had glimpsed the door to death, the path seemed to stretch on.

The long night was unbearable, and I couldn't endure her talent show any longer, so I gave her a bag of money to stop.

Then she said, let me tell you a story.

My story is long, perhaps because my heart is already overloaded, always wanting to confide in someone.

I didn't know her, her background, or her past.

To speak honestly to a stranger was no big deal.

I declared upfront that the poison had taken hold of me, and I might die halfway through telling it. The woman didn't panic; instead, she hugged her knees, her eyes bright, ready to listen.

I said my life began as a tragedy and would end as one, leaving me with nothing in the end.

The woman propped her chin with her hands and sighed, "It's okay, at least you have money to make someone listen to your story."

My sudden silence made the atmosphere awkward, and she chuckled foolishly, urging me to continue.

I wondered where to start.

If I had the chance to hear that night again, I might be shocked by my own chaotic and inverted story.

The poison had clouded my mind, and I spoke incoherently, yet the woman didn't interrupt, listening intently.

She seemed to see through my thoughts; I just needed someone to listen.

I spoke of Pear Blossom Village and Peach Blossom Mountain, and she imagined their beauty from my plain words, exclaiming as if they were before her eyes.

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I mentioned the old servant, the scholar, the Left Envoy... my benefactors.

And my adoptive parents, the Tan family, the Netherworld Hall... my enemies.

She was adept at responding to others, joyful at the mention of the former, and gritting her teeth in anger for the latter.

A clear distinction between love and hate.

Finally, I spoke of the two most important people in my life.

My Shi Fu.

My brother.

My Shi Fu was like the light breaking through clouds, dispelling the shadows and misfortunes of my past life.

The time at Peach Blossom Mountain was the happiest of my life, without exception.

Shi Fu and the mountain accepted my broken self without any conditions.

It was one of the few blessings in my life.

Then I mentioned Sui Yan.

Sui Yan, Tan Fang, the master of the Netherworld Hall... for a moment, I didn't know how to address him.

I could only pour out all the past, good and bad mixed together, indistinguishable from each other.

By the end, my eyes grew warm.

But the woman across from me cried a hundred times more sorrowfully than I did.

She started with soft sobs, then wailed, wiping her tears and speaking incoherently.

Her crying was somewhat comical and endearing, and I couldn't help but smile through my tears.

Yet there was a trace of comfort in my heart, knowing that in my final moments, someone could be so moved for me and Sui Yan.

After crying, she asked if I had any unfulfilled wishes.

Having taken my money, she felt obliged to do something for me, even though I didn't watch her perform.

My body was gradually losing the ability to speak, and I thought, perhaps the end was finally near.

I said I had two requests.

First, take the bodies of Sui Yan and me back to Pear Blossom Village.

Second, deliver the letter in my arms to the Immortal Tao Mian at Peach Blossom Mountain.

I no longer had the strength to hold a pen, so if she didn't mind, I asked her to help finish the last part of the letter.

We were strangers, and these tasks weren't easy. So I told her not to force herself. Once I died, she could promise now and do as she wished later; I wouldn't know.

But she patted her chest, confidently assuring me she never broke a promise and would see both tasks through.

She said, "Alright, now you can die in peace."

I smiled and looked up at the vast starry sky.

Stars embedded in the sky fell into my eyes and flowed into the river.

I felt as if I had become one with them.

Shi Fu, is this what you often spoke of, "All things are one with me"?

She asked why I didn't return to Peach Blossom Mountain but chose to be buried in Pear Blossom Village.

I said the cemetery at Peach Blossom Mountain was already crowded and couldn't accommodate the two of us.

The woman widened her eyes in surprise, asking if the beautiful Peach Blossom Mountain I spoke of was actually a mass grave.

I shook my head and laughed.

When I said crowded, I didn't mean the cemetery was full. Peach Blossom Mountain was vast; how could it not accommodate two strangers?

I was just concerned about the Immortal on that mountain, not wanting his heart to bear too much.

I thought, if he didn't see the bodies, perhaps his sorrow would lessen a bit.

You might laugh at my naivety.

The grave behind Pear Blossom Village, I took you to see it.

There was an empty grave.

Originally, it was meant for Sui Yan.

I hesitated, unsure whether to leave this grave for him, not knowing which side to place him on.

At the end of my life, my thoughts became clear.

Guilty or not, once a person dies, all grievances are buried in the earth.

I told the girl I forgot to dig a pit for myself. If she found the grave couldn't fit two people, she could cremate us and seal us in a jar to place inside.

The girl, with her confident tone, said, "Don't worry, cremation is one of my unique skills too."

I wanted to laugh at her many unique skills, but my lips stiffened, and my heart thudded painfully in my chest, as if someone had struck a great bell, shaking my insides.

I endured the pain, stubbornly lifting my head high.

Let me fall among the stars.

Snow flies, dust scatters.

Grudges and grievances end.

I once thought to live one life at a time, not to repeat in the next.

But Shi Fu, with you and the mountain, I thought, perhaps it would be nice to return, for Sui Yan and me to step through the mountain gate once more.

Yet with so many variables, what if I couldn't reincarnate, what if I couldn't become human?

I dislike uncertainty, yet I long for reunion.

So let it be, if there is a next life, we must meet again.

If not, I won't force it.

After Sui Yan and I are gone, Shi Fu, please take care.

Don't grieve too much; we have resolved our karma, and it's time to end this life's dream.

My life had regrets, grudges, and hatred.

But also blessings.

First, the blessing of meeting Pear Blossoms.

Second, the blessing of knowing Sui Yan.

Third, the blessing of entering Peach Blossom Mountain.

No regrets, no regrets.

If you hear the wind through the forest, it's us returning.

Don't dwell on memories. Just treat it as another meeting.

—End of the Flowing Snow and Sui Yan Chapter—

The story of the Third and Fourth Disciples concludes here. Thank you all for reading.

You've worked hard, and I've worked hard too. To write the story to my satisfaction is truly a relief.

At one point, I thought I wouldn't reach this ending, staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, unable to sleep.

So fortunate, so fortunate.

I originally planned to write a character analysis myself, but I thought, my perspective would surely interfere with everyone's thoughts. I read all the comments and messages from friends, and I can't compare to many readers in character analysis, so I won't embarrass myself.

Next, the Fifth Disciple will appear. I've already planned up to the eighth or ninth disciple.

Once again, I shout out! The Fifth Disciple is really adorable! Everyone must come and see her!