At the foot of Peach Blossom Mountain, there was a Peach Blossom Temple, and within it lived the Peach Blossom Immortal.
The Peach Blossom Immortal wasn't always called that; his real name was Tao Mian, a human.
He was a transmigrator who, due to being bound to the Immortality System, accidentally lived for a thousand years.
Still stuck at the Qi Refining Stage.
One day, the Peach Blossom Immortal emerged from his old and small Taoist temple, went into the courtyard, and grabbed a sack of feed to feed the chickens.
"Eat up, eat up. Once you're full, bring back a little hen, and I'll have eggs to eat."
Tao Mian had lived for a thousand years and had never descended the mountain. The reason was simple: he didn't know any cultivation techniques.
The system hadn't given him any yet.
The system he carried was nicknamed "reap where one has not sown system," officially called the "As long as my disciple works hard, I can always reap without labor.." This meant that if he wanted to cultivate, he first needed a disciple.
Then, the disciple would be responsible for practicing the cultivation techniques, working tirelessly, while he would enjoy cloud sharing, always staying one step ahead of the disciple.
This system sounded like a blessing for chronic laziness, the ultimate way to lie flat.
Everything was perfect.
So where exactly could he find a disciple?!
Was there a lottery for it?!
Could he find one in the trash?!
Did he need to top-up phone credit?!
He had waited a thousand years, so why hadn't one appeared yet!!
If this continued, he might have to consider forcibly taking in the three chickens he raised as disciples!!
Frustrated.
Tao Mian questioned the heavens, his rage impotent, while only the chickens in the cage flapped their wings, feathers flying everywhere.
Perhaps influenced by Tao Mian, everything in the Peach Blossom Temple seemed to carry a longevity buff.
For example, the three-hundred-year-old sparrow, the six-hundred-year-old chicken, and the thousand-year-old flying cockroach.
Indeed, even if humans could live to a thousand, they would still have to contend with cockroaches for a thousand years.
Tao Mian suspected that if he cultivated for another two thousand years, he might be able to ride a cockroach out.
The first to lose hope was a big goose, which had lived for two hundred and fifty years and simply couldn't go on, trying to jump into the pot every day to end it all.
At first, Tao Mian couldn't understand the goose's intentions, but later he realized that over the two hundred years, it had seen off hundreds of loving little female geese.
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Deep affection leads to short life.
Tao Mian pitied its devotion and fulfilled its wish.
After organizing a grand farewell ceremony with the chickens, ducks, dogs, cats, and cockroaches in the courtyard, he stewed it.
The tigers in the mountains drooled with envy.
Brother Goose, you died too deliciously.
Tao Mian even wrote an elegy for Brother Goose.
"The goose is so big, it can't fit in one pot."
After sending off Brother Goose, another hundred years passed, and he sent off Brother Dog.
Then came Brother Cat.
***
By the fourth century, the small courtyard of the Peach Blossom Temple was empty. Tao Mian didn't want to spend his days with cockroaches, so he went to the foot of the mountain and picked up three chickens.
These three chickens looked domesticated, but there were no households nearby, so it was unclear where they had come from, perhaps lost by someone.
Tao Mian put one in a sack, substituting kidnapping for purchase.
He had chickens, but still no disciple.
So Tao Mian carried the sack and wandered near the foot of the mountain every day.
Waiting for someone to lose a child.
***
Another six hundred years passed like this, and just yesterday, Tao Mian celebrated his thousandth birthday.
He made a fist-sized cake, topped with a thousand candles.
He made a wish, hoping the new year would treat him better.
When blowing out the candles, he almost set the mountain on fire with a single breath.
Would there be any new changes on the first day of being a thousand years old?
Tao Mian thought without much hope and opened the system interface.
Name: Tao Mian
Age: 1000
Realm: Qi Refining 1000th Layer
Cultivation Technique: None
Disciple: None
Evaluation: Happy 1000th birthday, handsome but useless Immortal Being
The first day of being a thousand years old did bring a change; his realm had finally reached the 1000th layer of Qi Refining, increasing by one layer each year.
But... What was the point?!
Unable to cultivate, he was out of breath just feeding the chickens.
Tao Mian angrily closed the system interface, out of sight, out of mind. He could just live another thousand years.
Ding-dong—
A crisp notification sound seemed to float down from the clouds, reaching Tao Mian's ears.
Could there be a change?
Tao Mian suspiciously reopened the interface and found a pop-up window appearing brightly before him.
[Detected a human with disciple potential, please proceed to Peach Blossom Creek as soon as possible]
Peach Blossom Creek was a small stream at the foot of Peach Blossom Mountain.
There really was a change!
Tao Mian was overjoyed, spinning around in place twice.
He picked up his most pampered Reed Flower Chicken, a black and white rooster, and excitedly headed to Peach Blossom Creek.
The stream flowed gently, clear to the bottom, from Peach Blossom Mountain to here.
Tao Mian placed the clucking Reed Flower Chicken on the ground, shading his eyes with his hands as he looked into the sun.
A wooden basin for bathing infants floated down from halfway up the mountain.
Tao Mian:?
This plot seemed familiar.
He squatted by the creek, the rippling water soaking his straw sandals, as the basin was carried to the shore by the waves.
Inside was a watery little baby, eyes still closed, with a wrinkled, ugly little face, about to cry out.
Tao Mian pinched its mouth shut.
Was this really his disciple?
No matter how much he doubted, the system had already provided the answer.
[Congratulations to the host, you've acquired your first disciple]
[Disciple Name: Gu Yuan]
[Background: Only son of former Cyan Vast Sect leader Gu Yuanhe]
[Potential: High-Grade Water Spiritual Root]
[Background: Internal strife within Cyan Vast Sect, current leader Li Heshan was once a fellow disciple of Gu Yuanhe.
Gu Yuanhe treated him like a brother, but Li Heshan, driven by greed and improper desires for Gu Yuanhe's wife, plotted to kill Gu Yuanhe, usurping the leader's position and forcing Gu Yuanhe's widow to marry him.
At that time, the Gu couple already had a son. To preserve the Gu bloodline, Gu's wife entrusted their son to a confidant, then took poison to end her life.
The confidant, pursued by enemies, had no choice but to place Gu Yuan in a wooden basin, sending him down the stream, before drawing his sword to end his own life as the pursuers closed in.]
[The above is information related to the disciple "Gu Yuan," please nurture him carefully]
[Congratulations to the host for unlocking the newbie rewards: "Cloud-Piercing Sword Technique" *1, "Nether River Saber Technique" *1]
Finally, cultivation techniques!
A thousand years!
He had finally made it!
Tao Mian's smile grew wider as he read the system's messages.
This Gu Yuan, although currently an ugly little baby, had unexpectedly high potential!
And looking at his background, with his father murdered and his mother poisoned, Tao Mian felt like carving the word "tragic" on the child's forehead.
As for the confidant, not very reliable either.
Releasing the child down the stream.
Luckily, there was someone as handsome and kind-hearted as him.
With a talented disciple and cultivation techniques, cloud sharing could begin.
As for the blood feud the child carried, Tao Mian wasn't considering it much for now.
Go with the flow, take things as they come.
Everyone has their own destiny, everyone has their own path of cultivation.
Besides—
"Your surname is Gu," Tao Mian said, holding the child under the arms and lifting him high, "Based on my experience of reading two hundred web novels in my past life, you are destined for great things."
"But your name doesn't work. Gu Yuan... Old Home... Always looking back, it's easy to be trapped by bad memories for life."
"How about this, I will give you a name that's easy to raise."
"Gu Yigou, how about it? Catchy and down-to-earth."
"If you don't speak, I'll take it as agreement."
Gu Yigou, lifted high, opened his eyes for the first time in his life, seeing the beaming thousand-year-old Shi Fu, Tao Mian, and babbled a few sounds.
"Agreed? Good, Yigou, from today on, you are my first disciple. Rest assured, master and disciple will walk together for life. If I has two bowls of soup, you'll definitely have two pots to wash."
Gu Yigou giggled foolishly.
Tao Mian laughed too, his birthday wish had come true, and heaven had indeed granted him a disciple.
The first day of his thousandth year was turning out quite well.