Anne looked like an ordinary college student with an obsessive, inexplicable liking for schoolgirl uniforms. A head shorter than him, she was dressed in her highschool uniforms that still fit her slender form and black socks that went over her knees. She clasped her hands at him as her smooth, bubbly, and lovable pink hair fumbled to her waist—the same hair that got her the nickname Pink Anne. Her round blue eyes gazed fondly at him, and her lips turned into a vicious curve. She even had a bag of muffins strapped on her wrist. Girls like that couldn't be evil.

Apart from the fact her eye color could alter between blue or smoky green depending on the angle and lighting, she seemed completely normal, if Andrew ignored the Swiss universal knife she used to destroy his door or the wooden chunks left of it splattering on the floor. He knew that knife; it was one of the thousands of items in her collection of weapons. Unlocking someone's door was one of the least life-threatening thing it could do, among filing nails, cutting paper chips, sucking blood out of necks, and some other miscellaneous things.

Andrew mentally prayed to the Goddess. There were two best times where she could've shown up: the first was when Andrew got Anne's message, the second was now.

"I haven't seen you for soooo long, sugarpop~" She started slicing the apple with her knife, pouting as she glanced up at the ceiling. "Did you forget me by any chance?"

"No! It's nothing like that! Why would I ever. . ."

"Or maybe you're actively trying to hide from me." She pushed the knife an inch inside the apple.

"Not at all! I'm just on this trip to set my foot to every country in the world! Like this Around the World in 60 Days challenge, y'know? Next on my list is Saudo Arabo; I heard they ban women there! What an awesome destination!" He laughed nervously; cold sweat ran all over his back.

"I will be there, cutiepie. I'll be a manlier man than any man if they need me to be."

Andrew glanced to his laptop on the table and realized his Goggle browser was not off yet. "How to lie to your girlfriend that you're married" was still written on that. With movements as stiff as wood, he dawdled to the kitchen area. "Y-you must have been very exhausted from the long trip. Let me fix you a drink." He tiptoed toward his laptop and tried to lay his fingers on the Backspace button.

"Oh, it's okay Andrew, I'm not tired at all. . . Your job is just to. . ."

Without looking, she pulled the knife out of the apple and swung it in his direction. Andrew leaped away reflexively, and the knife pierced through his laptop screen. The whole blade stuck through the screen, turning it off and ripping it apart.

Anne turned to Andrew and stared him down. ". . . stay where you are~~~"

Andrew froze when his ex stood and took the pastry out of the bag.

"Do you want some muffins?" She hummed in feign joy. "I know you loooove muffins. You love muffins, don't you?"

"I don't—"

"You love muffins." She showed him her bare teeth and her snaggletooth stuck out.

"I love muffins."

"Good." Anne walked over to Andrew's cupboard, took a tray and began arranging the muffins on it. "Then you'll eat it all, won't you?"

"Y-yes."

As Anne brought the tray back to the table, Andrew detected a sharp, metallic scent. Not even the batch of fresh pastry could overpower it. "Do you smell that?" He asked. "That smells like blood."

"It's just the smell of muffins and my love for you, pumpkin."

"No, it's definitely blood. Is my laptop bleeding?"

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"I've told you." Anne opened her eyes wide, gritted her teeth, and crushed a muffin with her hand. "It's—"

The wardrobe behind Anne swung opened, and a body dropped out of it, face flat on the floor. Andrew jumped in horror. It took him a moment to realize that bulk of muscle lying on ground was in fact Iwana DickInSon.

His eyes were half-opened, staring blankly at the floor. Any glimmer of life he had just an hour ago had drained from his complexion. There were slits and gashes on the back of his jacket, as well as holes on the visible parts of his back from where blood was still oozing.

"You saw nothing," Anne said.

"Did you kill him? Why the fuck would you do that?"

"He was trying to lay his hand on my sweetie. Did you think I could just sit there and do nothing? I'll protect you at all cost, cutiepie." She grinned from ear to ear. "Also, he has a really cool spiky bat. It must go into my collection."

Andrew's sense of justice slowly triumphed over his fear. This crazy chick is going too far! He pitied the dead man who was just his enemy an hour early. Iwanma might have been a bad guy, but he was a good guy.

Andrew could not let his murderer off the hook any longer. He'd fought for the safety of the world! And now he would fight for the oppressed. He would not cower in front of this maniac.

He swiftly pulled out his mobile phone and took pictures. "Ha! I've put the voice recorder on the whole time because it's convenient for the plot! Now I also have visual evidence. I will report you to the police, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Anne smirked. "Oh, cutiebear. You won't want to face off agaisnt me."

"I can and I will. Kill me if you have to."

"Go ahead. Try all you want. There's nothing you can do. But before that. . ." she pushed the tray closer to him. "A muffin?"

"I am the embodiment of righteousness. I am the savior of the world. I won't be swayed by some sweet—"

"I have strawberry flavor."

"Okay, let's eat."

Andrew munched on the muffins righteously. They chatted about their past like they had never fallen apart, about all the memories and all the people Anna'd killed. The luscious aroma of muffin weaved into the smell of Iwanma's corpse. It was a happy time.

Andrew wiped his mouth after he finished eating. "Thanks for the meal. Now let's get you into jail."

"Can I go with you?"

"Sure, the more the merrier."

They cheerfully walked to the police station. In all the times Andrew was in the loop, he figured out that he tended to not have a good relationship with these law enforcers. But he was sure that this time, things would go right.

They arrived at the police station and Andrew told them that he wanted to report murder. A police officer with a bushy mustache named Joddy Ferdinand took them to the interrogation room and asked them in his raucous voice, "Okay, so who's dying today?"

Andrew told Joddy all about the things that happened, about his trip to Light Novelland, how he met Iwanma, how he returned home to see Anne broken into his property, and how he found out about the corpse. Joddy nodded as he jotted on his notebook. "Okay, cool. Thanks for letting me know. Next time you don't need to come here in person; just ring us when someone dies. Go home and have a rest."

"Go home and rest? There's a literal corpse lying in my studio! I thought you guys are supposed to inspect the scene or something? There should've been a whole team of cops blocking the way to my studio by now."

"Yeah, yeah; we'll do that tomorrow. The people kept protesting to defund the police so now we don't have gas money to run our vehicles."

"Boo hoo, we don't have gas so we can't do our job," cried Andrew in a dramatic fashion. "You evil policemen kept slaughtering innocent people. You're taking away our rights to live! We, the people, get to decide when and who we want to kill."

"Why come to the police then?" Asked Joddy. "If you suspect this woman, just kill her."

"You think I'm a murderer like you?" Andrew pointed on Joddy's police badge, his nostrils flaring. "I'm the embodiment of justice. I don't stain my hand with blood of innocent people. The people decide who to kill, then you evil policemen kill them, then we can call you evil."

"Okay." Joddy pointed to Pink Anne. "Do you have evidence that this woman was the killer though?"

"Yes. Look at this!"

He presented all the evidence to the police, confident that there was no way they could deny any of this in spite of their beef.

Andrew slammed on the table. "Please put this wretched witch to jail right now!"

"We need to compare this evidence with the suspect's testimony," the policeman replied.

Andrew fumed with anger. "I have more!" He pulled out a file from his pocket and opened it. He then spread dozens of CD disks and documents on the table, so many that they covered the surface. "All these proofs were taken from the security cameras of your own police team. Look, I even got the certification of the chief of the city police department! Look, there are even letters of authenticity from President Tronal Dumb."

"Calm down, Sir. We need to follow the protocol." Joddy turned to Anne and asked. "Is this evidence real or fake?"

"Fake," replied Anne non-commitally.

The policeman tossed Andrew to the ground, jerked the poor college graduate's hands behind his back before handcuffing him. "You're under arrest for slander."

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Andrew growled. "What's your evidence?"

"You're a man and she's a woman. Only men are criminals. What's more, you even look Hispanic."

"Are you racist? I'm not Hispanic! Have you ever seen a blonde Hispanic?"

"No, you are racist!" Joddy pressed the sole of his shoes harder on Andrew's face. "It's Hispanics choice if they want to be born blond. Only racists see color."

Andrew couldn't fathom this absurdity. Pink Anne and this policeman must've known each other from before. They even waved at each other when Anne entered the station. "You. . . you people are working together! This is collusion! This is corruption!"

"I've told you," Anne hummed.

"Stop talking, criminal." Joddy stepped on Andrew's face. "You can yabber once you've rot in prison."

Andrew looked back on all the wrong choices he'd made leading up to this point. He should have never trusted the police, the gods, or anyone. They were all one part of a big cahoot and there only purpose in life was to fuck him up.

Suddenly, another police officer entered the room, holding a blue-eyed white cat in his arms. "Hold up," he said. "I've brought a witness."

Andrew stared at the other officer, a single tear escaped his eye. There are still good people in this world!

"Where's the witness?" Asked Joddy.

"You're looking at him." The other officer pointed to the cat. Andrew immediately realized that cat. That's Jeff's pet, Mr. Brittlesworth. He usually hung around in the afternoons while Andrew would cook, and because Andrew gave him salmon treats so he'd come back time and again.

"It's a dumb cat," grunted Anne.

"Brittlesworth is a he, and he's a witness," growled Andrew. It's protocol to at least hear his testimony!"

All eyes were on Joddy Ferdinand, awaiting his decision. Joddy walked towards the other officer, picked up the cat, then placed him on a chair. He then took out a voice recorder and slid it on the table.

"Tell us all you know," he furrowed his brows.