The first thing Lawrence thought has he heard the police officer knocking on his door was ‘fuck’, followed by ‘they found me’ and ‘could this day turn even shittier?’, and a bit of ‘you know what, I don’t even want to know.’
He then realized two things.
The first was that there was just no way they could have gotten him if he had just recently turned to a Villain and hadn’t even done anything morally ‘wrong’ yet. In the first place, he hadn’t even decided to do anything! He was still considering whether to take the path of a Villain or just… work something else out.
So the policeman must have called for him for other motives.
In which case, the second realization hits me.
“Keeping an officer of the law waiting by your door isn’t the greatest idea, is it?”
Even less so if you were just named Villain.
No, it wasn’t really great to raise suspicions over yourself if you had such a dangerous title.
It really wasn’t.
And so came the next reaction.
“COMING!!!”
Lawrence rushed to the bathroom where he kept an emergency set of clothes in case of emergencies (like this). Fixing his jacket he noticed the QR Code that was pretty hard to miss and hurriedly used a first aid medipad to cover it up.
He once again checked himself in the mirror.
He didn’t exactly look like the example of integrity, but this would have to do.
He didn’t have the time to get changed into anything better after all.
So instead of worrying about the ifs, he simply hurried to the door and pulled it open.
“Sorry, your called startled me and I threw my coffee over myself” he said pointing at the pad on his hand without even looking anywhere. Excusing himself was his top priority.
Though a kindergarten could’ve come up with a better idea.
“Anyways, what can…”
A second later, he glanced at his unfortunate visitor.
It took all the self-control and acting ability he could squeeze out of his scarce years of expertise not to show his emotions on his face.
After all…
What the hell are you doing here?!
The person who crashed with him last night. The person who stole his wallet. The person who dressed half way between a homeless and a cosplayer whose head had gone wrong after a few hits on the head.
Caterpillar Girl.
He had to hold back his laughter at the name.
The officer had nothing special going on with him, leaving aside the fact that he could turn Lawrence’s life into a veritable hell were he to find out his identity as a Villain. Also, unlike most clichés, it was neither a black gorilla man, neither a chubby man with mustache. In fact this one looked pretty young, skinny, and had a red mane with freckles.
This has to be the first time I see a redhead police! I mean, not to discriminate, but seriously!
No– Focus, Lawrence Lakewood.
Gah~ My back! It’s still killing me!
He arched involuntarily, holding the frame of the door to support himself. Doing so, he noticed something in the officer’s hands…
Is that…
“I’m sorry to hear that, sir… Coffee burns are no joke.”
Lawrence thought the way he talked sounded like he was talking from experience. Policemen do drink a lot of coffee after all. Well, not that this one was a regular police officer.
“What brings you here officer?” He tried his best to hide his true feelings of ‘just leave, please!’ and ‘FUCKING SPINE IT’S CRACKING, IT REALLY IS CRACKING?! WHY?!’ It looked like it worked, given how the officer didn’t comment on his face.
Though the truth was he was making such an indescribable expression Bud Redhead decided not to speak a word.
Coffee burns do hurt a lot, after all.
As someone who got coffee cups spilled over him all the time due to his partner’s terrible driving skills, he could understand this man’s sorrow.
Not that Lawrence was feeling that kind of sorrow anyways.
“So, what is the trouble, officer?”
Redhead nodded and pointed at the girl.
“You see, while I was doing my night watch, I happened to find this… lady…”
Yeah, Lawrence could kinda understand the meaning behind the accentuated ‘lady’ word. The reek of trash bin and old papers is making him scrunch up his nose.
“… and she dropped a wallet. Your wallet.”
It all clicked.
Victory! I found my wallet and that little punk gets put behind bars! Haha, what a great day~ AAAGH FUCK, FORGET THAT I SAID ANYTHING!!! I have to get my damn painkillers after this…
“So I thought of asking: I’m pretty much sure she stole it from you, but I wanted your confirmation. Is this correct?”
Of course it is.
“What are you talking about?”
…
……
………
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Huh?
Lawrence found himself surprised.
This girl had stolen his wallet.
It was the right thing to do to turn her in to the police.
It was also what he wanted to do.
So then.
Why the hell was he doing what he was doing?!
And suddenly, realization hit him.
Not his.
It was something else.
A foreigner thought.
A fragmented idea that had entered his head. So casually, so randomly, that it couldn’t be casual or random at all.
And then he saw it.
He saw the meaning of this action that was, at the same time, his and someone else’s.
He couldn’t comprehend, but he was sure of this: this was his own idea, not one that came from his conscious self, but deeper. Maybe even not from this version of himself. He couldn’t understand what he was saying or feeling, but it was as clear as the day that it was himself and nobody else who had made that decision.
And he also knew the reason why he did it.
It was a feeling that came from his guts.
And no, it wasn’t stomach ache.
Lawrence Lakewood couldn’t put into words the way he was feeling right now, or why he knew he had to do what he was about to do.
But he knew.
So he did.
“What do you mean?” Bud Redhead (temp.) was shocked at Lawrence’s answer. He was expecting to receive a positive answer, after all. Instead, the person in front of him was surprised at his statement?
“Eeeehh… This girl” he pointed at Caterpillar Girl (also temp.) once again, unsure if the person had understood the question being asked to him “Didn’t she steal your wallet?”
“Eh, no?” Lawrence looked as confused as if someone had come and told him aliens were real or that some quesadillas didn’t actually have cheese on them.
First Pun!
“That’s impossible.”
Caterpillar girl, who has been silent all this time, looked at Lawrence with as much of a shocked expression as the policeman. They both thought he was insane, he thought.
He didn’t care.
“But why?! Who is this person?”
“She.”
Bud Redhead fell silent once again, waiting for him to continue. Caterpillar Girl’s eyes widened as she realized the true meaning behind Lawrence’s words.
Ohoh, so she understands the pun, too.
“Yes, She.”
“No, you don’t get it. She is my girlfriend.”
Doublepun!!
“What? Wait, are you serious?!”
“No, I’d rather be Lupin. I mean, he’s alright, but he died in the fifth book. Lupin lasts till the end of the series.”
Triplepun!!!
The policeman wasn’t really understanding Lawrence’s words anymore. He, on the other hand, was enjoying plentifully toying with him.
“So this girl is your girlfriend?! I mean, that explains the wallet, but what about the clothes?!”
“Cosplay.”
“What?!”
Lawrence picked up his smartphone (with his ‘bad hand, thought the shocked Bud fortunately didn’t notice) and instead of answering, typed something on Chromed Glasses, the No.1 public internet service browser. He then showed it to the policeman.
“‘Plaza Cosplay Event’…?”
He was so glad Sean had invited him. He was a pain, but he could be useful sometimes.
“Indeed.”
“And she’s dressed as…?”
Lawrence’s face paled. He couldn’t make that up on the spot! He looked at Caterpillar Girl for help.
‘It’s your problem! You deal with it!’ he tried to say with his eyes.
She nodded. ‘You did well. I’ll take it from here.’
Wait, she really understood me?!
“I’m playing Tennant Hinawa from Fire Force. It’s a gender-bender cosplay. He’s always wearing clothes nobody else would.”
Nice one! She looked the part, at least.
And yes, Hinawa was truly like that.
“And the smell?”
“Tripped and fell in a dump.”
Not so credible, but since Lawrence was backing up her story, the police officer had no reason not to trust her.
And so, this battle was over.
And Lawrence Lakewood was the winner.
“I-I understand…” Bud Redhead was forced to release Caterpillar Girl. He took a key from his keychain and removed the handcuffs on her hands.
“It was all an unfortunate misunderstanding. I really am sorry.”
“Mucho gusto. I am Pollito.”
Punminating!!!!
Everything had gone alright it seemed.
“Don’t worry, it happens. Well then, honeypie, you stink so let’s get you a nice shower…”
“O-Oh… I understand.” The policeman’s check reddened and he winked nervously. “Well then, I’ll give you two some privacy… for your, ehm, shower.”
And so he left.
Lawrence wondered why he acted so flustered and looked back only to see Caterpillar Girl’s face red and sweating, and her eyes spinning.
“A sho-sho-sho-sho-shower?! I mean, he saved me, but still?! Is it fine?! Is this the price to pay?! But I’m still a damsel?! Can I allow this?! But if I don’t, he’ll sell me in… Gah, it’s no good…! At this rate…!”
“Stop blabbering and go inside. It’s an order.”
Honest to the feeling on his guts, Lawrence decided acting high and mighty before this girl was the correct option to do. It was the easiest way to achieve his goal, after all. And even though he had never before in his life played the elegant and charismatic villain, his authoritarian voice tone and aura felt somehow natural.
…
Maybe he was cut to be a villain?
He had encountered feelings with this.
No, it was all fault of the strange feeling that had taken over him.
He totally wasn’t made for a villain.
He didn’t even know why he had saved this girl after all.
“Huh?”
“Inside. Now. I’m not fond of wasting time, and we have a lot to catch up with. We will have to know each other very well for this to work after all…”
Oh, my tongue slipped. I dropped the act unconsciously… I’m not good with putting up facades after all.
But even this much, It should work, right…?
…Right?
“Wawawawawaaaaah…” Caterpillar girl’s head blowed up in steam and went as red as a tomato before she passed out and almost hit the floor. Lawrence was just in time to catch her before she fell.
“Just what on holy earth is going on with all these people? Bud and now this girl as well... OH SHIT MY BACK!!!”
He dropped her safely and wallowed in pain once again…
…
Wallowed in pain…
……
“Well then, honeypie, let’s get you a nice shower…”
“I’ll give you two some privacy… for your, ehm, shower…”
“We will have to know each other very well for this to work after all…”
…
……
………
“OH SWEET JESUS WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!”
* ••••
“HAHAHAHAH!!! Loooool!!! “OH SWEET JESUS WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!” was it?! Hilarious!!! This is too much! I feel like I’m going to vomit!!! Hahahahah…!!! I…!!! Really…!!! Have to make a sticker out of it!!!”
Joe remembered he didn’t have a phone and his laughter was temporarily calmed down…
Yes, temporarily.
“I don’t really get it. What do you see in this boy?”
Sitting on his back, in a pose fitting that of an ice queen, this person comments its lack of interest on God’s Apostle.
“You’re no fun, Andy. It’s like reading a comedy light novel, except its alive! It really is a wonderful Apostle. It hasn’t been a day and he’s already entertaining me this much!”
“Meh. You’re weird. Mortals aren’t fun. Fighting with your brothers is better to stave off boredom. And don’t call me Andy. You know I don’t like it.”
“But Andromeda is just too long!”
“Shut up!”
“Anyways… It’s not like I actually did this just to entertain myself you know?”
“Hmmm?”
Andromeda, red skin, lilac long hair, sapphire blue eyes, goddess of an adjacent realm, and Joe’s current crush.
Yes, and Joe’s current crush.
“By the way, your buttocks feel as great as ever I see.”
“Wh-You perverted scumbag!!!”
“Ack~ being kicked by you is such a wonderful experience!”
“Disgusting…”
…
“Tell me something Joe.”
“Yes?”
“For you to step in on this matter… Is it really that bad?”
“… It is.”
His tone didn’t as much as flicker, however.
“You’re not worried?”
“I’m not.”
“Why?”
“Because, my dear Andy…”
“I told you not to call me~!”
Andromeda shut up, at the sight of something she had never seen before.
Joe was smiling from the bottom of his heart.
A true smile is something you almost never get to see in a God. That’s why.
“I’m not worried, because I have faith in my children.”
“…”
Both Gods stayed silent. There was a comfortable silence between them, the one that can only be achieved when both parts feel at ease.
Andromeda finally steps up and leaves her godly (truly) seat.
“I’m leaving.”
“Whaaaat?! Already?! And here I wanted to have fun with you again!”
“Hoi! Don’t make it sound wrong! I just agreed to play that stupid chess mutation of yours!”
“Hmmm? But I never specified what kind of fun…? Ohoh?! Could it be… Andy, if you really want to, I don’t mind. We are both perfectly capable adults that— Guhah~!!!”
Joe was cut off by Andromeda’s kick.
“Shut up.”
“…Yes.”
…
…….
………
“And Joe.”
“Yes?”
“…Do you know something I don’t? About mortals.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“…”
“…”
“Fine then.”
And so Andromeda departed, to her own line of existence.
“She is sharp… I’ll have to watch my steps around her.”
Joe’s gaze wandered around the world once again, until the purple dot is once again found.
“Now then, I wonder, just what kind of crazy stunts will you pull with my power?”
The In Between, a place where nothing really is or ceases to be.
In this place, a being known as God exists.
And right now…
A place where the fate of the world is starting to shift.