"Meetings suck.

I’m not talking about family or friendly meetings, which are also a bother but in a much smaller scale. No, I’m talking about that part of villaining where you have to meet with others to discuss the terms of a certain business. Whether it’s negotiate the terms of cooperation with a possible ally, trading with other villains, or planning your next big hit with your forces of evil: it’s horrible, to the point I personally look up to people holding meetings all the time for being able to endure such torture. Describing a formal meeting can be done quickly with two words: boring and annoying.

I have a personal trick I’ve developed by myself, one that I have been using since the beginning of times:

Just don’t go to the meeting.

The problem with that method is, it tends to piss off the other part, and usually ends up in scolding, shooting, partial mutilation, total mutilation, death threats, running out of your cookie supply… And other, equally bothersome consequences.

But ingenious as I am, I managed to adapt that strategy so that it doesn’t end in chaos.

Solution?

Get a mediator.”

Excerpt from “Evil Overlord Tricks Compilation” by Ingenio

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“Who is this woman?”

Chase looked warily at Christiane, and the suitcase she was holding. Lawrence hadn’t informed him he would be bringing anyone else to the meeting. Of course it had taken him by surprise.

Partially the reason why I brought her in the first place.

The other reason being, he wanted to get that off him. He would let the woman handle the meeting. It would serve as a test of sorts, or at least that was what he had told her. It was for best in any case, since she was better prepared for this type of situation.

Strategist types more often than not are a real pain in the ass to deal with for the other parties, at least when negating.

He had come up with this solution while ‘showering’ after going to the Cloudsweet. If one could call taking a shower to rolling around in their own misery complaining about how unfair life is. Ah well, you do what you can.

“Mr. Chase, I am Mr. Ingenio’s secretary. You may call me Writer.”

The man in question didn’t look amused by their nicks. They had decided to go with nicknames to keep the advantage of Chase not knowing their true identities. Just in case, Lawrence was using his Chaos Borne feature to forcefully conceal his identity. He didn’t know the details, but by the looks of it, as long as he was using his super-suit, nobody could make a connection between this persona and the civilian Lawrence Lakewood. Christiane had something similar as well according to her information. Which reminded him, he had to give her skills a proper check later on.

As for the names, Christiane apparently had hers decided from beforehand, and she had insisted in baptizing the villain Lawrence with a trait that summed up his plenty skills. And for her, Ingenio was just that.

I guess it’s better than nothing. It’s not as cringy or cliché as Ghost, Mastermind, or any of that stuff. Pretty normal, compared to most supernicks circling around.

“I heard nothing about a secretary, Ingenio. This was not our deal.”

“I have altered the deal. Pray, I don’t alter it any further.”

“Does that mean you have no intention to negotiate?”

The man is still running in his fumes. Looks like he still holds a grudge against me.

“I am mediator, Mr. Chase. I am here to make the meeting run smoother. Mr. Ingenio’s general terms of alliance still stand: he will provide information about the Yakuza and our side will support yours in combat when the time comes. In exchange, you will be on our side when, if the situation requires it, and refrain yourself and yours from carrying on any type of hostility against us. I have brought a special document on that matter,” she opened the suitcase to reveal a sheet of paper- a contract.

“This is an enforced contract created by The Negotiator. As you are most likely aware, said contracts are special in that they will cause severe harm to those who break it after signing. Though it will not kill or permanently harm the signers, I have heard it causes quite a lot of pain. The Hero, Rogue, signed one of these with Brainiac Maniac, two months ago, promising he would not attack him in his lair, for the sake of negotiations. He is still recovering.”

Oh wow, that’s… a lot. It won’t leave physical scars, but that’s gotta do some serious mental trauma.

Christiane had brought up the idea of forcefully enhancing the contract to earn some trust from Chase, and double as a way to make sure he wouldn’t betray them. He had thought it was a good idea, though of course made sure to use the Evileye of Truth to check for any lies on her, and look up for more information about the person in question.

Everything seemed to be in order. The concequences of breaking a contract were a bit worse than what he thought, though.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

“Where’s his signature?”

“Right here” she flipped the document to reveal a sigil in the back; a feather coiled in chains. The special signature would fade away in a matter of seconds when drawn by anyone other than the Negotiator. Very convenient. Everything about the document was thought to avoid cheating.

Chase took the document and read it carefully.

“There is some verbose in places… But everything looks in order. It says here that you won’t share all the information you have, though. Any particular intentions?”

He won’t go as far as demanding we hand him everything we’ve got. As expected, he is still a reasonable person under that tough bad guy skin. Which actually gave Lawrence some decent leverage. Chase didn’t know what he didn’t know, and that could be used against him in case things went awry.

“The main reason is personal profit, but our side wishes to maintain a bargain piece, just in case.”

“That’s understandable.” The room fell in silence for a few seconds as Chase contemplated the state of things, and then he took a pen from his desk. “I found your terms… acceptable” he said, signing the contract as he went.

“Here.”

Lawrence took the pen and signed below Chase. He immediately received a notification from the System.

------------ Do you with to accept this contract? ------------

Contractors:

-> Lawrence Lakewood

-> Jhonathan Chase

Terms and Conditions:

- You cannot purposefully attack any of the contractors, directly or otherwise

- You are required to provide support to all contractors under specific conditions

Penalties:

- (Unknown)

---

Well, it makes sense the System is firing off alarms. The person that made this is a Meta as well, so…

Lawrence accepted the contract and gestured Christiane to take it where she had left.

“Now, to the real part of the meeting.” Chase leaned back on his armchair, touching the tips of his fingers.

“How are we tackling the Jap Maph problem?”

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Kurohyou.

That was the name the Headmaster had given her. Silent. Lethal. Elegant. The purifying blade that brought retribution to those opposing the clan. Countless men had fallen by her hand. None person could match the Black Panther of the Dragon’s Blood.

Well, no one except the Headmaster… And that strange girl she occasionally fought.

Speaking of which, I have been running into her more and more lately. Had the girl moved closer? Or was there a new point of interest for her in the area?

She still remembered the first time they fought, the memory engraved on her for eternity. It was the first time she hadn’t instantly taken down a foe, after all. She could still see those hollowed eyes, devoid from emotion, eyeing at her sweet rice ball.

“It’s mine. I won’t give it to you.”

“But I’m hungry!”

“That’s not my problem!”

“Then I’m making it so!”

The girl leapt at her like a crazed beast… And the rest of the fight was somewhat cloudy in her memory. In the end, she had partially succeeded… Partially, as in that in one hand, the girl laid wasted in the ground, but in the other, so did her sweet rice ball.

The encounters continued. And each time they fought, she could feel the girl had become much stronger. Strong enough to go from mild annoyance to recruitment interest.

The girl had turned down all her offers, though.

I wonder what the secret behind her quick growth is.

If she could lay her hands on something like that, then she would definitively turn into an unstoppable machine… A tool befitting the role of the Mortal Blade of the Dragon’s Blood.

But that would have to wait. She had been given a mission. A new contender dared to stand before the Yakuza. It was her duty to put the rabid dog to rest. The details were uncertain, and unnecessary. All she needed was a name, after all. Jhonathan Chase, a man of power and wealth…

And… according to a contact, another threat that had recently appeared. Chase’s mysterious allies.

“A ghost, a shadow, and a sage…”

Why does everyone in the clan have to be so damn cryptic?!

No, no. She had to stay. Stay in character. She had to behave. She was the clan’s blade…

The clan's blade…

“Ma, dou demo ii. No matter who it is, I will lay them to waste.”

No exceptions.

“Now, I’ve job to do.”

The panther jumped into the shadows, melding with the rest of the world.

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“Maaaan that was exhausting” Lawrence jumped into the glorious embrace of his bed, shoes and everything. He hadn’t really done anything, true, but the mere fact of being in a meeting was something he utterly hated, and he also had to maintain his character throughout the whole thing. Playing the statue sure wasn’t easy.

I think I just hurt my own reputation somehow.

He shook his head. No reputation to worry about. Not anything. Just… fluff. “Fluff, is, life!” he said, squishing the pillow and rolling in bed. He wanted to sleep, but his mind kept going back to the gruesomely tedious details of the meeting. There was a lot to be done, true.

But why now?!

…

He had to make sure to rest as much as possible. Things would get really messy shortly.

ETA before main counteroffensive: Two Weeks.

Yeah, fourteen days weren’t a lot to get ready. But unless Lawrence magically found a way to expand time… They’d had to do.

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“Jesus, it sure is calm around this town.”

Blobber dusted his cape as he walked around the town. It was patrol day, but he had happened to awaken in the plainest little town of the whole SU. Nothing ever happened. He just had to walk around wearing the suit and everything would go the way it always did. Another uneventful day.

“Can’t wait till I get that LHU conscription…” He had applied for a relocation in the LHU headquarters, and was waiting for an answer. This… monotony wasn’t doing any good to his Feature Points count, and he had to hurry up before he got stuck in the basic level forever like all those independent heroes.

He had requested to move to Metro, the heart of the SU. The city was full to the brim with supers, and that meant a lot of fish to catch for him. Of course, also a lot of competition, but… no pain, no gain. Besides, it was better than rotting in the middle of nowhere…

“Hmm?”

Blobber stopped. He spotted a gang of street punks on the sidewalk. Nothing to be wary of, at least not for him. No, what fired off his alarms was how all of them suddenly turned on their heels and entered a shady backstreet for seemingly no reason, upset and looking about to squash someone.

Oh, finally some action. He didn’t know what caused them to change way so suddenly, but it wasn’t hard to imagine. Some rival gang or something like that. All he cared for was those juicy FP, and the little doze of adrenaline from beating the baddies.

The floor under Blobber’s boots turned into a gelatinous substance as he activated his power, and he sailed through the road in seconds, searching for signs of the punk gang. He entered the shady alley and…

“What the hell?!”

He found them, tucked away in a corner. All of them laid unconscious on the ground. Blood trickled from their ears, eyes and mouths, as if something had blown apart their brains from the inside… But they breathed. They were alive. He had to get medical attention fast, or-!

“Ohoh? A hero? My, what a pleasant surprise.”

Something hit him in the back. The impact traveled all around his body, amplifying as it moved. It was paralyzing. He grew dizzy, vision fading as a high pitched sound pierced his ears. He could feel something trickle down his coat from his ears, warmth spreading from the point. He fell to the ground, unable to move.

“… name is Blast… sure to remember.”

Something hit him in the head again, and he drifted away into the sweet tides of unconsciousness.