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I, Criminal Mastermind!
Chapter 17: “Where time goes by between cheese and threats”

Chapter 17: “Where time goes by between cheese and threats”

It had been no more than two hours since Lawrence & co.’s encounter in Plaza’s sewers. At the moment, they were hiding inside an abandoned house that casually happened to be connected to the sewers… Albeit via a mysteriously missing toilet. Seeing a suspiciously toilet-shaped hole in the roof wasn’t particularly comforting either.

Lawrence didn’t know what could make a toilet blow up, and he certainly didn’t want to. He also didn’t want to know why Mikaella knew a place like this, just, it didn’t take a genius to figure out it wasn’t her first time in the sewers. The fact that she wasn’t at all faced by the horridly blasphemous stench supported his theory.

He put aside those thoughts with a sigh. He had bigger problems right now. Namely, three tied up dangerous men in a poorly illuminated basement. Lawrence had no doubts Mika would know what to do in case one of them tried to escape, but he didn’t want to try out and see.

Besides, it had been ten minutes since Mika had told him his prisoners were fully awake. And what better way to make a big first impression than show up slightly late while kicking a door and greeting everyone in a gentlemanly fashion?

* ••••

Nggrrrh…

There was no door.

There was, however, a red curtain, albeit a partially rotted one. In lack of a better entrance, it should do.

Let’s get this started with, shall we?

“Welcome, dear guests, to not my humble lair!” Lawrence violently tossed aside the sorry excuse for a curtain and raised his tone just enough to appear as dramatic as possible. He expected to find three men all tied up and ready to plead for their lives just as much as to break free and strangle him to death. And one loyal follower keeping the danger at bay at her best.

Instead, he found four people previously nodding off half way into the sweet world of dreams and drooling seas, now scared the shit off and jumping out of their seats frantically looking around.

Note to self: make sure my public is awake when about to perform.

Also, sermon Mika about the importance of not falling asleep while next to your prisoners. It’s literally two thirds of the times the reason why people escape in cartoons.

“Mik- Shade, everything alright?” Better not to use our real names, just in case. I don’t one people who can blow half of a block to know who I am, really.

“Aye chief” was all that came from her.

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“Good. Let’s start with the basics then. Introductions!” He turned his face to the three man tied up to particularly uncomfortable chairs. He wondered where Mika had gotten the ropes from. Better not to ask. “Who are you, and what in hell were you doing in the sewers?”

There was some low tone mumbling.

“Oh, my bad. Shade, their gags. And you, try anything funny and I will make a hole-shaped shortcut for the air in your lungs.” He drew a pocket knife and swung it around for show. “I’m not one to make empty threats.”

As a matter of fact the knife was blunt and he used it as a lucky talisman and about that, but nobody else had to know.

Mika swiftly removed their gags. All three men shifted uncomfortably, but it appeared none of them were willing to test whether Lawrence was joking or not, as they didn’t try anything weird.

“Let’s try again. Names first, I’m getting tired of calling you ‘tied up men’ in my head. You first, the bald one with a beard.”

The man in question had, indeed, a perfectly shaved head, and fiery red beard that would have put fantasy dwarves to shame. He also appeared to be the leader of the group sorts, since the other two were constantly looking his way, albeit looking like they were begging him for a way out rather expecting instruction. He looked around his late forties, and his face was, to put it bluntly, extremely forgettable.

It looked like ‘bald’ wasn’t his preferred moniker, because Red Beard simply huffed and gave Lawrence the Fuck You eyes. “Do I look retarded? I’m not telling you my name. And these two aren’t, either. Or else…” He shifted to look at his mates. His eyes promised a really nasty continuation to that ‘or else’.

Lawrence had to say, he was impressed. He had to give it to the man, he had balls. That, he couldn’t deny.

Sadly for him, he was firmly bound with brand-new industrial rope, while Lawrence wasn’t. And he wasn’t holding a knife, while Lawrence was. He saw fit to remind that to Red Beard.

“In case you’ve forgotten, you can’t do a thing right now” he shook his head at the bindings. “Sure, you are welcome to try. Don’t mind Shade trying her best to stop you. Friendly reminder, she isn’t all tied up, and I don’t think it will take her much time to break your neck like that.”

If anything Lawrence was proud of, it was his smooth talk.

Well, not really ‘smooth’, more like, ‘do as I say or die’ talk, but hey, it got the job done anyway. No point complaining.

Red Beard seemed to reconsider, although the look on his eyes said he wasn’t excited with the idea of doing as Lawrence said. “Listen kid, you don’t look like you understand where you’re standing either. There are really big people behind us, and were something to happen, they will be on your back. You don’t want that, trust me. Now, if you release me…”

“Ahhh, the ifs of life! How often do we stop to look back and wonder ‘what if’? Sadly for you, I’m not buying it, and the chance you walk away as a free man is about as high as the chance one of you bursts in fire out of nowhere.”

Red Head coughed slightly.

Still, what he said made sense. Three man alone didn’t look like they had the power nor the tools to make something as big as the Plaza explosions. Whoever had done that was either standing on one hell of a firm ground, or a terrorist. And Red Beard & Co. didn’t look like terrorists.

“I’m telling you-”

“-Cease your blabbering!” Lawrence kicked the wall right next to Red Beard’s head and shouted. “This is my last warning. Speak now, or be silent… forever.”

Of course, Lawrence was only blowing smoke. If his ultimatum didn’t work, he’d have to think on something else…

Fortunately, he didn’t have to.

“Alright, alright. But I warn you, you’ll be a wanted man if you touch a hair of our heads.” Red Beard said in a defeated tone. “What do you want to know?”

“Names, first and foremost. Then I want to know who saw fit to remodel my house Swiss Cheese style, and why.”

“The name is Kane. We didn’t blow up half of a neighborhood because we wanted to… Look, I’ll explain everything.”

“You better” Lawrence said. “Unless you want me to force you to cosplay the Swiss cheese.”