“Wake up, dumbass,” a familiar voice hissed. I blinked and sat up in bed. Yvlan lay asleep, her arms wrapped around me. Carefully and slowly, I moved her arm off of me. I blinked and suddenly I was in the living room, sitting across a man who looked strangely familiar.

His dress uniform told me he was a nobleman or very high ranking in the military. It was deep purple with gold inlays and stitching. He looked about the same age I did, but clearly a lot better groomed and maintained. He lacked the years of road wear and combat tear that plagued me. His hair was salt and pepper, combed, brushed, and actually styled, rather than just chaotically strewn wherever like mine was. His eyes had a certain mischievous glint in them, which, paired with his smile, made him look like both a dastardly criminal and the most trustworthy man I’d ever seen.

He was classically handsome, as if someone had taken the protagonist from a romance novel and brought him from page to real life. He had a chiseled jaw, was tall, muscular, and sat with a certain kind of refined dignity.

Then, it hit me. I knew why I recognized him. He was me. Well, he was me except if I looked better in every way.

“You’re getting into some deep shit,” he said. “You oughta get out of here while you still can.”

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he wagged his finger at me.

“Ah, ah,” he said. “Shut up and listen.” He took a deep breath in and sighed. “You’re not very smart so I’ll explain this simply.

“My name is Abraxas. I’m an echo of the devil you used to be, which you made to give you advice and keep you alive. Think of me as your guardian angel. Or, er…guardian devil.”

Abraxas blew white smoke out of his mouth, pantomiming having a cigarette.

“Cool trick, eh?” he said, a cocksure grin spreading on his lips.

Is this what I’m like? Am I always this insufferable? No wonder so many people want to kill me.

“Is this the part where you tell me you’ll take me over one day, that you’ll rule the mortal world using me as a vessel?” I asked.

Abraxas snorted and rolled his eyes.

“You forget, Jonas,” he said. “I am you. You are me. The ‘me’ that you talk to now is just an echo of what we used to be.”

“I notice you’re not denying the plans for world domination and possession.”

Abraxas sighed and blew more smoke out of his mouth.

“Even when I, well, we, weren’t in this body, we didn’t have many grand aspirations.” He sat forward in his seat and his smile faded. “But now we have the grandest of ambitions: stay alive. So you must drop this case.”

I shook my head and said, “I don’t want to.”

“Yes,” Abraxas hissed, “you do.” He was right about that. I really didn’t want to be going up against the military, the arms industry, and the Guild. I’d rather fight a minotaur again.

“And yet, I won’t,” I said. I shrugged and smiled.

“You’re insufferable,” Abraxas said.

“We’re insufferable,” I corrected.

Abraxas blew more smoke out of his mouth and leaned back in his chair.

“Gods above,” he muttered, “you’re going to get us killed. You always do this.”

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“No, no,” I said, wagging my finger, “we’re going to get us killed. I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t you. And because of that, you’re going to help me.”

Abraxas just looked at me for a minute, trying to size me up.

“I can’t help you,” he said finally.

“Yes,” I said, “you can. You’re the reason my Mark is on the fritz and I’m also willing to bet that you picked up some useful information during your countless millennia as a devil.

“So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to wake up in the morning, go to Red, and you’re going to get her to tell me everything she knows. And then, I’m gonna continue investigating this case, and you’ll help there too.”

Abraxas put his head in his hands and muttered curses under his breath. He took a sharp and deep breath in and stood up. He walked over to the bedroom door and cracked it open. He peeked inside and gently closed it. He sighed loudly and shook his head.

“Yvlan is beautiful,” he said wistfully, as if remembering a sweet dream, “isn’t she?”

I just stared at him.

“You could go back in there,” he suggested, “and go back to sleep. Or…well, you could do something else. Something a bit more active.”

He swept his hand and suddenly, the hotel living room disappeared and we were in the town square of a small village. The sun was shining, people milled about, and happiness hung in the air. I could see rolling hills and farmlands in the distance, trees dotting the landscape. It was a picture of serenity and prosperity.

“Do you remember this village?” Abraxas asked. I shook my head and he sighed. “You only remember the monster-infested hellholes.” He cleared his throat and continued, “This is the village of Dirkstone, population one thousand.

“Dirkstone is a quaint village in the Valerian countryside. Not too far from the Capital, but far enough that the Guild won’t bother you here. You passed through here two years ago, on your way to slay a drake on the other side of the continent.”

“So?” I asked. I looked around as the people passed us by. They didn’t even look at us, it was as if we weren’t even there. I reached out to touch one of them and my hand went straight through them. I jerked my hand back.

“So?!” Abraxas exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. “You could drop everything and flee here!” He snapped his fingers and we appeared in front of a cottage. It was a quaint, but respectable place, with two floors and an attic, a nice front yard, and a well. It would be perfect for raising a family. A version of me, dressed like a farmer, was taking a nap in a hammock in the front yard, a straw hat over my eyes.

“That could be you,” Abraxas said. “Happy, calm, and safe. Do you remember what safety feels like? I don’t mean just a good night’s sleep, or taking a watch rotation with some traveling companions. Or even being behind the tall walls of the capital. Real, actual, long lasting safety?”

I leaned against the yard’s fence and just took in the scene. The breeze was gentle and warm, there were birds chirping, and I could smell a fresh pie being baked inside. It made me feel as if someone was grabbing my heart and twisting it.

The front door swung open and Yvlan stepped out, dressed in clothes similar to mine. She was wearing a farmer’s frock and an apron. She walked over to the hammock. She took off my hat, kissed me, and said a few words that I couldn’t quite make out.

I sighed and hung my head.

“Not to your liking?” Abraxas said. I noticed he’d come to stand next to me. He snapped his fingers and Yvlan disappeared, replaced by Xico. “Is this better? I question your taste in women, because she tried to kill you, but…”

“That’s not the problem,” I muttered.

“Of course, of course. You’re a forgiving man, but maybe you’d prefer someone you’ve known longer?” Abraxas said as he snapped his fingers. Xico was replaced by Char. “Or all of them!” he explained. He snapped his fingers and all three women appeared.

“No,” I said, sadly. “You know me. You know us. This…this wouldn’t work.”

“Right,” Abraxas said, “right…small villages aren’t your thing, not after, well…home. I get it. I get it.” He snapped his finger again and I found myself in Xico’s kitchen. I saw another version of myself, standing by the stove, cooking something. It smelled like a meal my mother used to make me when I was sick. Xico, Char, and Yvlan were sitting at the table, chatting away, smiles on their faces.

“It would be a bit harder to swing, but you could live in the Capital,” Abraxas said. “You’ve got a lot of connections in the Guild, I’m sure they could get whatever heat you’re under off you. Just…let whatever happens happen.”

“You know I couldn’t live like that,” I said. “When have I ever just ‘let whatever happens happen?’”

Abraxas let out a sigh of disgust. He waved his hand and we were back in the hotel’s living room. He exhaled a plume of white smoke, sparks flying from his mouth.

“I won’t help you,” he said. “I cannot help you. You’ll drive us both to death.”

Then, I woke up.