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Humans Must Adapt!
Chapter 9: Not Honorable Seppuku

Chapter 9: Not Honorable Seppuku

I kiss Flash Gordon right on his dusty forehead.

I spot the first and probably only building I will see in this fracture. A huge ebony mausoleum. It doesn't look to be in the best shape, its arches and pillars seem to be crumbling. Hundreds of tombstones and their open graves litter the immediate surroundings, the holes in the ground are tripping hazards.

I don't see or hear any undead, I can't see the front entrance from my angle of approach. I leave the ‘safety’ of the wall and look at the huge stone doors that block me from my ‘presumed’ freedom.

Even with 30 Might, it takes significant effort to open the doors to the mausoleum, but I accomplish this Herculean task with the moral support of Flash Gordon

The open doors reveal a room with a staircase carved into the earth heading downwards into darkness. The room is barely lit up from the moonlight straining through a broken stained-glass window.

“This looks like a church.”

I state the obvious to Flash Gordon, he doesn’t have eyes, so I guess it isn’t obvious to him.

Broken wood, broken glass, rotting carpets.

To sate my curiosity, I use [Heal Anything] on some broken glass. I definitely don’t have enough mana to fix a window, but the mana needed to make visual changes to object health differs from object to object. I found two pieces that fit together. My skill mends them together leaving behind no impression that it was ever more than one piece.

There is one other room I can see. The door is shattered and the pieces are mixed with the rest of the debris. This room seems to be an office of some sort, but there isn't anything obvious to confirm that.

I search the rest of the mausoleum without heading down the stairs. A strange bit of wall catches my eye. Hidden behind a false stone, a small leather-bound book nestles in a secret compartment in the wall.

[Requirements Met!]

[Will you allow Lexicon to consume ??? Journal]

[ Y / N ]

It’s a journal? I haven’t even opened it yet. It's very old, and I might damage the journal if I breathe too hard on its pages, I allow [Lexicon] to consume the book hoping that it will preserve the text inside.

[Completed!]

I use [Lexicon] and see a new tab on the system window, I focus on it, and the tab switches from [Creatures] to [Books].

I find the journal, it's the only thing available. I skim through the text and come to a revelation.

“What language is this?”

I have no idea what’s in here, it could be a cookbook and I would never find out. I cancel my skill and head down the steps deeper into the darkness.

~

I reached the bottom, and it's a maze down here. I just hugged the right wall and marked the walls at intersections with Flash Gordon.

There are skeletons and traps around corners and at dead ends. The skeletons are no longer a threat. If I am calculating damage correctly, with Flash Gordon, I am dealing an average of 112 damage per attack if I throw Flash Gordon, and 104 damage if I don't. (Might (30) + FG’s Vigor (50) + 40% increased damage (Throw, Bone crusher)

I’ll try using [Scientific Insight+] the next time I attack.

I only come across small fry anyway, I haven't seen a skeleton over level 10 in ages. Constantly using [Scientific Insight+] in battle gives me a slight headache, but it allows me to see the damage numbers. It seems like skeletons have armor of 5.

I circumvent the traps quite easily, they aren't magically triggered or have complicated machinery behind them. It's a lot of pitfalls and tripwires.

A skeleton’s [Detect Life] can somewhat penetrate walls as well, so skeletons that ‘see’ me through walls would sometimes trigger traps for me, or fall into holes.

After about 10 minutes, I find my first piece of treasure. It was unceremoniously on the ground, next to a puddle.

It’s not sealed, and the stats are not hidden, so I can equip it right away.

[Skeleton Gloves (degraded)

Black leather gloves with bones anatomically accurate as located on the dorsal surface of the hand.

Armor +0

Vigor +3

Equipment Skill Bone Shot.]

[Bone Shot]

Shoot a bullet-sized projectile that deals Spirit x2 damage.

Cost: Break a finger. 10/10]

What kind of skill is that? I’m not some dirty masochist, what's with the skill cost? It doesn’t have any armor value, and it doesn't even give a bonus to damage or Spirit. I guess Vigor helps in case I want to break more fingers.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

I put the gloves on anyway, I’ll be damned if I let the equipment's shitty stats ruin my first treasure experience. I blame my low luck.

I come across a huge room, the ceiling is a giant dome being held up by many pillars. It's very dark, and I can't see much else. I walk inside and when I get 10 feet away from the door, bone spears shoot up from the ground, blocking the exit. Torch flames light the room. Hundreds of Skeletons are making up the stands, staring at me even though I'm more than 30 feet away.

A huge armored figure stands in the middle of this coliseum. His plate armor covers his 8-foot frame. Large horns jut out from the helmet that covers his entire face. It is less armored on its lower half, but the pointy metal Greaves makes up for it.

I inspect the monster.

[Skeleton Champion C Lv25]

Well, shit, I guess I'm dead.

The Champion doesn’t rush at me and crush me to death, so I still have hope. A [Short Skeleton] dragging a great-ax that's double its size comes up to the Champion. The 3-foot skeleton looks comical as it struggles to pull this monster of a weapon. The Champion lifts this comically large ax with one hand and points it at me.

It’s challenging me to a duel? This gives me an idea, that I might make it out of here alive.

The skeletons in the audience chatter their teeth and rattle their bones at this declaration.

It has intelligence, that's good and bad. I’ll have to bullshit my way out to live.

I put on a show of taking off my backpack and throwing it off to the side. In the maze, I moved the potions inside my medicine kit to my pocket in case there was an emergency, but nothing came up until now.

I pull my father's blade from my waist and unwrapped everything but the handle. The chattering stops when I embed the sword into the ground instead of pointing it back at the Champion.

The Champion must have approved my declaration, because it embeds its weapon into the ground, destroying the short skeleton in the process, poor little guy.

The audience erupts into chattering as the little guy practically gets dismantled. They start to stomp, the sound of hundreds of stomping skeletons, drowning out the sound of their own chattering as the Champion holds out his arms, offering me the first blow.

I approach and get into a pitcher's stance, It seems confused about what kind of martial arts this is, but I use the first move of Flash-Fu not caring about the Champion’s curiosity.

I hurl Flash Gordon with all my Might, straight at the Champion's head, my 30 points cause Flash Gordon to whistle in the air like he’s singing.

The Champion swats the projectile out of the air, It must have not expected it to do damage, since it seems shocked at the decline of health.

I additionally used [Empower] on Flash Gordon and boosted his Vigor stat to 55, causing the other percentile buffs to add more in the damage calculation.

-69

That’s It? I threw my only means of attack for that much damage, it could even one shot a level 10 skeleton. This Champion must have at least an armor rating of 50. Flash Gordon took over 80 damage with his swat, his Might score must be ridiculous.

Before I know it, the Champion of this arena is right in front of me, He swings his tree trunk-sized arms and reverse clotheslines me.

I did everything in my power to dodge, to duck, to somehow get away, but instead, I had to brace for impact, hoping to negate as much damage to my body as I can with my arms.

CRACK CRACK

-85

I get sent flying, and both my arms are completely broken, but it's worth it. Using both my arms as sacrifice and with a little jump, I manage to survive and build some distance. I probably would have died if I didn't block that attack.

I’m kneeling on the ground, blood dripping from my mouth. Blood is staining my sleeves.

I slam my limp arms into the ground, using all the Might I can muster, Since the balance of my stats is off, I easily break all 10 of my fingers.

10 [Bone Shots] shoot out from my ruined limbs, only 5 manage to hit the champion in places without his armor. One hits the [Short Skeleton] that's standing right next to the ax, killing it in the process.

Wait, wasn't it already dead? That’s not important, what is important is that it doesn't seem to take reduced damage from where I can see bones. The armor the champion has seems to be [Physical]. It's like an actual piece of armor. Where it doesn't cover, it doesn't protect. [Magical] armor, like my uniform, boosts the overall defense.

-30

-30

-30

-30

-30

Critical hit!

-60

The last hit, that crit, was the bullet that hit the wrong skeleton. I use [Heal Anything] and dump all my mana to stay alive and heal my bones.

+40

[Heal Anything leveled up to lv2

Conversion ratio 1 - 1 > 1 - 1.5]

Oh, cool, just what I need. WHEN I NO LONGER HAVE MANA.

The sudden loss of my mana gives me a splitting headache, distracting me from the pain of my bones rapidly healing.

The champion seemed to be just under half health now, it seems that their status leans heavily into Might and nothing else.

I run behind a pillar and pop some pain relief pills into my mouth, I have to swallow it down with Blood clotting medicine, the potion doesn’t work as well ingested, but I'll take anything. Thank the Gods the bottles didn't break.

I peek from behind the pillar and my face pales. The Champion is imitating the first form of Flash-Fu with, Flash Gordon himself.

Flash Gordon smashed into the pillar, sending shrapnel all across my body, Flash Gordon himself bounced off me like a rubber ball and falls near my standing blade.

-58

The pillar absorbed most of the impact, but the damage I took broke most of my ribs on the left side of my body.

Maybe If I get to Flash Gordon, I can win this, Maybe I only need one more throw.

I run out from behind the pillar, smashing my fists together, my just healed fingers breaking on impact.

Out of 10 bullets, only 3 deal any damage.

-30

-30

-30

The Champion must have not expected a counter-attack. He is staggered. This is an opportunity.

I utilize the time my broken fingers bring me and scramble my way over to Flash Gordon, but the state he is in brings me to shock.

Overwhelming grief filled me, causing me to slip on the loose dirt that covered the entire fracture. I fall onto my blade, It pierces me to its non-existent hilt.

I stare at Flash Gordon, he is shattered like a plane of glass, I don't know how he is in one piece with the damage he sustained. I don't know how I’m in one piece with the damage I’ve sustained.

[Health has reached 0]