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How a Total Loser Died and Became a World Boss (A lit RPG Series)
4: Stretching My Legs and Some Gnolls Appeared

4: Stretching My Legs and Some Gnolls Appeared

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Lain Erickson

Level: 2 XP: 0% to Next Level Body Age: 29

Life: 42/42 Soul Energy 38/38

Strength: 9+15

Endurance: 6+15

Soul: 4 +15

Agility: 7

Skills:

Age Stasis: Prime Human

Weak Acid Resistance: 1/10

Melee Mastery: 1/100 *New

Appraisal 1/10 *New

Buffs/Debuffs:

+2x Attack/Cast/Movement Speed- Duration: 55:22

+2x Physical Attack Damage- Duration: 55:24

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It was beyond all reason, but I was sitting on raw stats that were roughly equal to a level twenty player. I used my two Attribute Points to increase my Agility and Strength, those being the most commonly required to use my actual equipment. If the dagger could keep my life total so criminally high for my level, then I could afford to neglect Endurance for the time being.

“Incredible.” I said to myself before continuing. “Also managed to get Melee Mastery and... hot damn Appraisal!” Melee Mastery was no surprise but Appraisal and a ton of other useful meta skills required a high Soul stat at a low player level to obtain. Usually only players that scanned in with high Soul or dumped all their points into Soul ever managed to obtain them.

“If my Soul stat stays boosted, I can probably use this world’s version of magic too. Never really been a caster guy, but if there’s summoning magic here...” I let the thought trail away, I had always imagined how much stronger I could be with a tanky elemental or healing spirit at my disposal. “First I’ll have to find someone that can teach the basics to me.”

The thoughts intrigued me and sped my feet as I took off to the west at a jog, which under the effects of the speed boosting elixir meant I was moving at a normal person’s dead sprint. An Endurance of twenty-one meant I had nearly three times the cardiovascular performance of an average human on earth. The slight burn in my lungs, the fatigue in my muscles, it was so very nostalgic. Those things were never quite captured in EG. It was like my morning runs from years past. Before that day it was all taken away.

I shook my head and refocused. According to the Survival TV shows I binged in the mid 2000s I should look for high ground, and try to spot a stream or river to follow since most civilization grew around water. The map gave me a basic direction, and I had a hunch I was getting close but it would be all too easy to miss a small village in the thick forest. Food, water, and shelter were a non issue with the supplies in my possession but I needed information and that unfortunately meant I needed other people.

Following those thoughts, I climbed a small hill and found the tallest tree I could. It was an ancient elm tree like most of the others with a trunk at least ten feet in diameter. Fantasy forests were pretty epic after all. I jumped to grab a low branch that was roughly twelve feet up and ended up underestimating my leaping ability. The combination of doubled speed and Strength boosted from the dagger made me crash hard into the bottom of the sturdy branch with a loud thump.

“Aw son of a bitch. But then again cool!”I said, happy with my abilities but not with the new cut and welt on my forehead. I felt blood drip down my face and off the tip of my nose. Looking down I noted that the blood didn’t stick to my clothes, simply beading off like it was coated with Teflon. “Convenient!”

I didn’t bother with a potion, any Endurance over twenty would recover minor scrapes in minutes and the pain was negligible. I picked myself up and knocked the dust off my suit before trying again with an angle that would just send me over and onto the branch instead. I managed it with only a slight wobble as I landed. I then began a steady climb to the highest branches and soon after my head emerged from the bright red foliage.

A stiff breeze blew my ear length black hair away from my eyes and a gorgeous panorama was revealed all around me. Rolling hills covered in lush red, orange, and yellow foliage spread for miles. Tall, forbidding mountains formed a wall to the northwest corresponding to the crude triangles on Ariel’s ‘map’. A wide, glittering lake nestled in a valley a few miles from me on the opposite side made my face light up, for on the far bank my destination was clear. Even from here I could make out the sharp angles of human construction and thin lines of smoke from many cooking fires.

I prepared to descend when something made me freeze in place. I hadn’t registered anything on a conscious level but something put me on alert- a sixth sense developed over years spent in incredibly punishing environments where a lapse in awareness was the difference between a world first Abyss delve and being lumped in with the other scrubs.

I waited in frozen silence, senses trained on the ground far below. Soon enough, four grayish furred humanoids crept up to where I had started my climb. They were definitely larger than me, and wearing uncured hides but finer details were hard to make out from this height and through the branches.

A thought occurred to me suddenly and as silently as I could, I focused on one of the brutish creatures and whispered “Appraisal.” A translucent panel full of information appeared and I could somehow feel that some of my Soul Energy was depleted. “Oh... hell.” I mouthed silently as I read.

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?????????

Speckled Gnoll Warrior

Level: 41

Life: 105/105

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“Grrr Bokrak M’gumata!” One of the gnolls barked, jabbing its heavy bone tipped spear into the dirt where I had been standing.

An alert message popped up before my eyes:

Use to acquire Skill for 8 Soul Energy? Yes/No

“Yes!” I whispered excitedly as I tapped the display. Appraisal really kicked ass. As the barking conversation continued, I found myself able to understand it.

“Blood smell here! Human blood smell. Human in gnoll land. We eat!” The big hyena headed warrior snarled, once again stabbing the earth. The other gnolls yipped and growled in agreement.

“Split up! Find human and feast!” The apparent leader ordered with a sweeping wave of his long weapon.

“Aww heck if I only had an awesome something to drop on them while they’re all set up like dumbass bowling pins...” I muttered with an evil smile as my hands flashed through menus. A blue cylinder the size of a mag-light with an LCD screen on the side appeared in my hand. I tapped the 6 SECONDS option and dropped it. “This one’s for Mufasa!” I yelled down in rough but understandable monstrous common.

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*Used Item: Advanced Cryo Grenade

Base Cold Damage: 100

Area of Effect: 25’

Secondary Effect: Freeze (10) Seconds

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The gnolls instinctively looked up in thorough confusion and followed the descent of the strange object with beady yellow eyes. The Cryo Grenade landed with a gentle bounce right between them and I couldn’t contain a wild smile as I followed it in a quick branch to branch descent.

The gnolls didn’t know how to react, but to their credit weren’t really given time to decide either. A blast of chemical gas froze all of them solid in a way that only video game logic could ever justify.

I dropped into their midst a couple seconds later, still under the effects of the elixirs. I needed to finish them off with my dagger before the lingering cold damage killed them. Unfortunately the three smaller gnolls had been killed instantly, but as the point of my dagger drove into (and shattered) the big one I felt a surge of power many times greater than when I killed the slimes. A new notice appeared when the final gnoll’s shards of frozen flesh collapsed into a neat pile, ending the so-called combat.

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Requirements Met: Deal at least (200) Cold Damage in a single attack while possessing at least (15) Soul while less than Level (10). Acquiring New Spell... Successful.

White Nova (1/20) *New

Cost: 10 Soul Energy

Base Cold Damage: 25 Per Rank

Area of Effect: 10’

Secondary Effect: Freeze (5) Seconds

Cooldown: 20 Seconds

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“Boom!” I was ecstatic. It really was just like the game, and White Nova was a rare spell to have and now I could see why. Those two requirements before level ten would be close to impossible in most cases. If the unlocked World Spells were the same then that meant that common spells could also exist, which could simply be learned by reading a particular Spell Tome while meeting the Soul requirement. My mind raced in excitement as I brought up my Statistics to level up yet again.

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Lain Erickson

Level: 3 XP: 20% to Next Level Body Age: 29

Life: 72/72 Soul Energy 38/48

Strength: 10+25

Endurance: 6+30

Soul: 4 +20

Agility: 8

Skills/Spells:

Age Stasis: Prime Human

Weak Acid Resistance: 1/10

Melee Mastery: 2/100

Appraisal: 2/10

White Nova: 1/20

Buffs/Debuffs:

+2x Attack/Cast/Movement Speed- Duration: 15:22

+2x Physical Attack Damage- Duration: 15:24

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“The big boy gave me ten Strength, fifteen Endurance, and five Soul. Nice. Appraisal and Melee went up. Those three other gnolls must have been super weak, their combined XP wasn’t as much as the big one’s. I have just over fifteen minutes left on my buffs. Should be enough time to get to town if I hurry.” I scooped up the only identifiable gnoll body part intact enough to save-the big gnoll’s head still frozen in confusion. I stored it in my bag with a simple command in my inventory menu. There might be rewards for defeating monsters, no reason to leave money on the table. Once that was done, I took off toward the lake I had spotted at a near sprint. I cleared the tree line into the valley that held the massive body of water less than ten minutes later and beheld a truly absurd sight.

On the wide grassy field before me, hundreds of slimes undulated and pressed into one another in groups of two to four. Even more strangely, a lone white haired human man walked among the slimes with a sheet of bark and a quill. He wore dirty but decent leather breeches and a baggy linen shirt. He would bend close to a group of slimes, nod, and scratch something onto the bark before moving on to the next group.

The slimes seemed unusually placid, not making any kind of move toward me even when I passed well within their normal aggression radius. I walked slowly closer to the peculiar person, noting that he was probably in his early seventies by the look of the huge earlobes which had sprouted hair and the deep wrinkles on his sun beaten face. So engrossed was he in his activity that the old man failed to notice me even from this short distance.

“Hey there, sorry to intrude on your... whatever this is!” I said with a friendly wave, causing the man to start frightfully and then stare at me with his nearly toothless mouth hanging open.

“Y-y-yibaba!? Joki toka yibaba!? The man babbled and an alert popped up in front of my eyes.

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Use to acquire Skill for 10 Soul Energy? Yes/No

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I scowled unconsciously before tapping yes. That damn poser loli didn’t mention that even the humans wouldn’t speak my language. What if I hadn’t had the dagger and gained Appraisal?! I tapped ‘Yes’ and the babbling man’s next words made perfect sense.

“Y-you came outta Gnollwood!?” His eyes were wide with near panic. “Who are you?” The man’s rough voice calmed a tiny bit as he seemed to look more closely at my clothing. “One of the Warlord’s underlings?”

“No... I’m just a lone traveler that got very lost. My name is Lain and I’m hoping to visit the town across the lake to gain some information and trade... by the way what are you doing out here with all these slimes if you don’t mind my asking?” I asked, unable to contain the question.

“Oh! I’m Slimer Jaik, this territory’s slime breeder. If you’re a foreigner you might not know it but slime’s are the absolute best at sanitation and water purification. A single slime can absorb all of the body waste for more than fifty humans and only consume ten percent of the water, leaving a ninety percent efficient water purification with zero impact waste removal! Once a year in the fall we have to gather all of the slimes up and bring them out here into the full sunlight so they can cross pollinate and divide. I manage the process and cull any aggressive slimes. My colony is one of the most efficient and docile in the whole country! It all started with-” The man noticed my jaw going slack and politely stopped. “Sorry Mr. Lain, I get a bit passionate about my slimes and no one ever wants to talk about ‘em with me.”

“No! I think it’s about the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen. I’d like to learn more some day when I’m less busy if you don’t mind.” I graciously replied. I could sympathize with the guy, remembering friends, family, and girlfriends with glossy eyes and tortured expressions as I talked about knee picks and high single leg takedowns.

“Certainly!” The old man beamed. “Just follow the road on the southern edge of the lake. The guards there will inspect your Stats, let you in, and provide directions if you aren’t affiliated with the Corpse Kingdom or the Warlord. My office is in the Public Services building next to the arena if you ever wanna talk slimes!” He waved and I gave a fond farewell of my own.

“Nice guy.” I mused. I began whistling the opening song from an old anime that had been stuck in my head off and on for the better part of two decades as I strolled along the road. My earlier urgency had left me now that I was in what seemed like a safe area.

I passed more people sporadically as I walked. Some were fishing with long poles from the bank while others seemed to be simply enjoying the rare warmth of a fall afternoon, sitting either alone or in small groups eating fruit and cheese from woven baskets and sitting on spread out blankets. It was a pleasant scene, and a surprising one. Earth fantasy tended to be full of miserable turnip farmers with backs bent from constant hard labor.

I could sense the curious looks people were throwing my way. My outfit made me stand out terribly. Everyone else for the most part dressed in simple earth toned garments made from spun cotton or whatever this world’s equivalent was. My almost supernaturally black collared dress shirt, mirrored black shoes, and charcoal gray suit must have looked like a ridiculous spectacle in their eyes.

In spite of their curiosity, most people still managed a smile and wave as I passed. For a town so close to a place called Gnollwood that at least inspired terror in one old man, these people seemed to be pretty carefree.

As I grew closer, the sounds of lively music filtered to my ears from the direction of the town. A wooden wall with guard towers came into view shortly after, a pair of guards wearing chainmail and leather seemed to be having a lively conversation with one another. One was tall and lanky with a clean shaven face and a big nose. The other was shorter and athletic with a well groomed red beard and a crooked, clearly broken nose.

By the gestures the tall one was making, he was describing something lewd. They each carried a spear in their hand and a longsword on their hip. On each of the towers flanking the gate stood a bowman. The short guard noticed my approach and cleared his throat loudly, signaling the left guard that it was time to be serious.

“Greetings, sir. We don’t recognize you and entering the city from the west gate is typically something only citizens do. May I ask why you didn’t enter the north or east gates?” The man hailed me with a friendly tone, but it was tinted with suspicion.

“Well I got lost in the woods back there and happened to spot this town from some high ground. Is there a problem with that?”

“Not as such, sir, but if you made it out of Gnollwood alive then you should thank the goddess! Only high level adventurers go to Gnollwood and survive to tell the tale.” The guard admonished with a look similar to the old Slimer’s.

Thank the goddess that dumped me in there in the first place? I thought and somehow managed to keep it to myself, then simply nodded seriously in response.

“Well then, since you are a new arrival, we’ll need to have you wait here while we summon the Appraisal Mage.” The right guard said, motioning to a simple wooden bench a few yards to the side as he walked into the town.

“No problem.” I answered. “So what’s the occasion? Everyone seems to be in a pretty good mood around here.” I continued.

“Oh you wouldn’t have heard!” The remaining red bearded guard grew excited suddenly. “It’s a brand new holiday! After many years of silence, the goddess finally spoke to the high priests, and declared that she was sending a champion to aid us in our struggle against evil!” The guard was starry eyed as he explained.

“Wow, you don’t say!” I fought the urge to rub my forehead and instead feigned excitement.

About ten minutes later, the original guard returned with an annoyed looking young woman wearing light blue robes. She was conventionally pretty, a Village Ten but a City Six. She had long blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was also taller than me by an inch or so. Her superior smirk and self important attitude made me instantly dislike her.

She pointed at me and began a ridiculous sounding long incantation that made me want to cringe.

“By the holy goddess in her infinite wisdom, I demand that the unknown be revealed to me. Appraisal!” She finished with an exultant yell. An alert popped up a second later.

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Shaye Lions is attempting to use to view your Statistics. Use to block some or all content? Yes/No

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I picked Yes, silently cheering my own skill and quickly blocked my title from being seen. That seemed like it would only lead to problems. I also filtered my own Appraisal skill from being seen, covering my editing tracks just in case.

One look at the girl dampened my enthusiasm. She was staring at me like a fish out of water, wide eyed and silently opening and closing her mouth. The guards noticed this and suddenly readied their spears.

“Is he an agent of Corpse!?” The short guard demanded.

“No! Lower your weapons you fools!” She yelled at the two guards as well as the bowmen above that had drawn their bows. “This man would kill you in an instant. His life is more than seventy and he can cast the world spell White Nova! He has no affiliations, titles, or warrants. Allow him passage at once.”

I let out a relieved sigh, and accepted the guards’ apologies graciously. They gave me clear directions to the markets, guilds, and other points of interest I wanted to visit.

I walked through the city gate into the first fantasy town of my second life.