After the plates were cleared, the voices died down and more about the world was explained to her little group. Only one voice speaking made it easier to concentrate. Zaria was so wrapped up in what was being said about how the three species interacted that she stopped paying attention to anything else around her, focusing her attention on asking questions and absorbing the answers. Science was never her strongest subject, but it all was so fascinating that she wanted to understand everything. Humans had magic, but it was inert. It allowed them to interact with the Lykos, who needed to have a magic compatibility to turn others. The Lykos were magic, using the magic around them to change the magic inside and with it their outer forms.

Sanguine were not magical at all, a product of divergent evolution. They did drink blood, as the stories in Zaria's world all said, but it did not have to be fresh. When a cow was killed for it's meat, the blood was processed separately. The humans like the meat, and the Lykos liked both the meat and the marrow. No part of the animal ended up wasted. If Sanguine did not eat for too long they would lose melanin, a quirk to the gene that helped renew their cells to give them eternal life if they wanted it. After too long had passed they would lose the color in their eyes and skin, making them weak to sunlight and more likely to burn. The four Sanguine at the table all had rosy looking cheeks and vibrant red irises after eating and drinking, a clear demonstration of the concept.

Zaria was so caught up in the discussion that she stopped paying attention to anything else around her. She picked up her cup of tea, not realizing it was still hot, and immediately scalded her tongue. When she caught movement right next to her face she instinctively backed away, knocking her chair over as she stood up in a hurry. Gu Cheng sat frozen, hand outstretched with a napkin. The room was as quiet as a tomb, every eye on her.

"I'm ... I need a moment, sorry," she said before fleeing from the private dining room and into the dimly lit hall beyond. Gu Cheng tried to follow but she shook her head emphatically at him before sliding the door closed behind her.

"Well, that was embarrassing," she whispered to herself, rubbing the heels of her hands across her face and eyes. For that brief moment she had been back in the manor, a hand going for her neck. Closing her eyes didn't help. With them closed, she was in the tent, Gu Cheng reaching for her through the flap.

The door sliding open behind her back startled her back to the present and she shifted out of the way so she would not block anyone.

"Are you alright?" Cathy spoke quietly, her usual exuberance toned down.

"I..." Zaria stalled, looking down at her hands. She could feel fingers wrapped around her throat still, and she did not want to be in the crowded room.

"It's okay. Our other guests are feeling tired and would like to go home. I can take you back as well. If you would like that?"

"I think I would. I am so sorry."

"Do not apologize. I will let the others know that we will be leaving a little early. My father was hoping to take everyone to a few stores after, to pick up some entertainment for when your friends don't want to go outside." Cathy flashed her a tentative smile and then backed into the room again.

Before the door could be shut, Gu Cheng slid past her into the hall. Zaria stepped back before swearing and planting her feet defiantly. She tried not to look directly at him.

"I heard what she said, I will go back with you."

"No!" The words were loud and he stilled, a statue made of ice in the middle of the hall. She tried again, more gently. "No, you stay with the others. I am having a bad time right now, and I think I need to be away."

It was so quiet, and he was so still that she could not tell if he was breathing. "I'm sorry, Gu Cheng. I...it's not going away this time, and I keep seeing you... look, I don't want to treat you poorly because my head is all caught up in the past. I will go back with Cathy, and take a hot shower."

He still did not move, and she tried to soften her voice even more. "Cathy said that everyone will be going out to find some entertainment? Maybe you can pick something out for us? Maybe if you see something sweet, too, I think I would very much like something sweet tomorrow."

Footsteps were approaching from inside the room, and she forced her eyes up to meet his, holding back the shudder that wanted to erupt as the memory overlapped with the present. "Please, Gu Cheng," she whispered before anyone else could come out. "I know you want to help but I need you to listen to what I need."

"Alright," he said roughly, speaking and proving to her that he was real and not the memory of an illusion. His muscles tensed and then he was gone, disappearing back into the room. It had seemed, for just a second, that he looked hurt. Zaria shook her head. She could either make him feel better or try and help herself, she couldn't do both.

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As she paced the hall she heard a chorus of farewells coming from the open door to the dining room they had all shared. She turned quickly so that she would not be startled when the others approached.

"Alright, it is just the three of us, if that is alright," Cathy announced brightly as she pulled her coat on. The calm gentleman to the side handed a bright yellow, puffy coat to her, and she passed it on to Zaria. "You left your coat, I hope you don't mind if I brought it for you."

Zaria shook her head as she took the item. No sooner had the fabric touched her fingers than she started to shiver. She let Cathy and Speaker Kimura pass, then followed as she attempted to get her arms into the coat.

"Are you alright?" A warm voice like sunshine on the skin asked from beside her. Zaria looked over to see the speaker had fallen back and was keeping step with her.

"Yes, I'm just a little cold. It's nothing. Your son did not want to go back?"

"I think Yuto would rather spend some more time with young Yamada. I however do not have the same energy that I did at his age, and I do not travel as well as I did then either. I have been up for many hours now, and I would love to sleep rather than socialize. I hope that doesn't make me seem odd."

"No," Zaria mustered up a polite smile. "I would rather not socialize right now either. I understand."

"I sense that your reasons are different from my own, though. No, I am not trying to pry, but I have seen many things in my long life and I can tell when someone is panicking. Was it the man that was with you?"

Zaria shot him a look, but he did not seem curious. Rather his eyebrows were drawn in what looked like concern. "No, it was not him. It was someone two worlds back that made their self look like him to trick me. I guess I haven't worked hard enough on getting over it."

"Miss Joseph, I know that we just met each other, but I was wondering if I could ask two things of you." Speaker Kimura slid his hands into the front pockets of his sky blue, knee length coat.

"You can ask, Speaker Kimura, and if I can then I will do them."

"Ah, let's change that to three things. One, please, call me Yasuo. I am not your speaker, and I would be pleased if we could become friends." Zaria nodded hesitantly and he continued. "Second, don't try to force yourself to get over something traumatic. Time will help, but blaming yourself for things you have no control over could make it take much longer. And third," he paused to hold the door to the outside for her, "please don't make yourself smile when around me. Your smile is beautiful, but I can tell that you do not feel it. I would never be offended that you did not smile at me when you do not feel happy."

"I can try?" Zaria did not mean to sound like a question, but she felt so cold inside of her coat that it was hard to focus. "Habits are hard to break."

"Is this your first time having an anxiety attack?"

"I don't have anxiety," she shook her head and started to smile as an apology for her rudeness but stopped when she realized she was going to do the polite smile again. "I think I might be getting sick, I don't know."

Zaria chose to sit in the back seat since she was much smaller than the other passenger. The hushed conversation in the front seat did not carry back, and there was something close to quiet for the ride back. Despite still being cold, she undid the zipper of the coat halfway through the trip. The collar was pressing into her neck. Yasuo's words repeated in her head. Was it an anxiety attack? She had never had one before, but she knew others with anxiety. It couldn't just come on so suddenly, could it? A tickle on her wrist brought her gaze down. The fingers of her left hand were wrapped around her right wrist, rubbing up and down. She let go, clenching her fingers at her side.

As soon as the car stopped outside of the brownstone, Zaria was pulling the door handle and scrambling out of the backseat. "

"Thank you, Cathy!" She said with forced cheerfulness. "I appreciate the ride back!"

"Should I-" Her voice was cut off and Zaria could hear the murmur of the two in the front seat, but she could not tell what was being said so she closed the door and waved as she bolted up the stairs and inside the building. It wasn't until she put her hand around the doorknob of her apartment that she realized a big problem with her plan.

"Is something the matter?" Footsteps stopped their ascent up the stairs and paused behind her.

"I just realized that I have no way to get inside. Gu Cheng locked the door behind him and he has the key..."

"Hmm." A click and the door of the apartment across landing opened. "With what you are going through right now I will understand if you are uncomfortable. But you are welcome to wait in my living room. I have chamomile tea, it might help with what you are feeling."

Zaria eyed him uncertainly. "I don't want to intrude..." She shivered again. The entry way was heated, but the air was colder that it would be in one of the apartments thanks to the front door opening and closing through the day.

"Please, it would not be an intrusion. I would worry about you being out here, so clearly cold and distressed. I will stay as far away as you need, please just tell me."

Zaria looked around the landing, a narrow space with just the wall on one side and a thin metal railing leading from the staircase on the other. The more she thought about it she thought he might be right. It was not a sinus infection, it didn't feel quite right. The idea of standing alone in the dim night-time lighting of the landing for who knew how long was making her heart race and she looked to the kind faced man standing in the other doorway, one hand on the knob. She had been wrong about people being safe before, but she had never looked at someone and known instinctively that she could trust them before she met Yasuo Kimura. It was a warm feeling inside, like sitting down after dinner and talking to her family about her day. With a tiny nod, she let go of the doorknob to her apartment and followed him into his.