Everyone wandered off after dinner, most in twos and threes, talking as they went. Zaria helped the other two women on cleaning duty to clear off the table, and Adachi-chan stayed behind to clean up any spills or messes while Ohno-san and Zaria went into the kitchen to wash the dishes. Zaria was on drying duty, and she listened as the other two women spoke once Adachi-chan came in. Ohno-san understood some english but was not comfortable speaking it, so Zaria didn't understand anything being said.
She was not angry about it or even sad. The levels of arrogance required to expect people to speak your language while in their country had always seemed wild to her. She picked up the occasional word by hearing it repeated over and over while an action was pantomimed. Like soji meant to clean up. Zaria wondered if she would be in this world long enough to be able to speak to some of the household residents in their language.
Gu Cheng was standing in the main hall on the lower level when she left the kitchen and dining area to go to bed. She glanced at the handsome, captivating man and the beautiful woman laughing in font of him, then concentrated on the stairs in front of her as she ascended.
"It's good that he is happy," she repeated to herself as she set her foot on each new step. After much contemplation while alone over the last week, Zaria had decided that the warm and tender feelings towards Gu Cheng that she was previously hung up on were because of the easier life and times he represented from her stay in City C, magnified by the fear and despair she felt in the Duke's Manor. When he showed up in the cell that night, he had pulled her out of her pit and given her something to fight for, if only for a little longer. Now that he had found a special little nurse who was willing to treat him like the tall, dark, handsome savior that he was... No, that was not fair. Saito Rika had done nothing to deserve the bitter jealousy that Zaria was wordlessly throwing at her.
Shortly after Zaria settled down in her makeshift bed on the floor, a knock on the door pulled her upright again. As though summoned by all of her jealous thoughts, Gu Cheng stood outside the door, his hands in the pockets of the grey sweatsuit he lent to Zaria back in City C. He frowned when the door stayed open, just a crack, Zaria blocking it with her body to keep it from opening more.
He waited for a minute, his dark brows pulled low over eyes that glittered like obsidian, but when she did not offer him a proper greeting, he spoke. "I have been thinking about when it is time to leave this world. About leaving these people behind to deal with this world."
A low chuckle stopped him, and only because she was familiar with his subtle expressions did she see the confusion in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly. "I was literally just thinking about what you would do when it was time to leave. I agree. You should take Saito-san with you when you go. She deserves a better future than she will have here. Don't worry about it."
Before he could answer, she closed the door and pulled the table back in front of it again. Just because she had decided to be magnanimous and give her chance at a life to someone else didn't mean she had to be polite. The following taps on the door were easy to ignore, and soon, she was wrapping herself up in sheets and closing her eyes for the night. The doorknob turned, and she could hear Gu Cheng's voice softly calling to her, then louder, but the door didn't budge, and when she didn't answer he, eventually, left.
In the morning, whether because of poor sleep or the increasingly chilly nights, Zaria woke up with a headache pounding behind her eyes. She curled up on the couch for a while, but when the headache did not disappear on it's own she got up to find Saito Rika. It did not take much searching, and Zaria was not surprised to see who her companion was in the comfortable parlor-y room.
A polite nod was given to Gu Cheng due to the company before she asked if she could speak to Saito-san in the health room. The nurse excused herself and led the way, waiting until the door was closed before asking what was the matter.
"I have had a headache all day. It is making me feel sick. Do we have anything to help?"
Saito-san went directly to the far left drawer under the gleaming white counter and pulled out a pre-portioned packet. "Pour this in your water bottle and drink it all. Not too fast. Tell me if it is not better by tonight."
Zaria thanked her and returned her bow before leaving. After closing the door, she let out a long breath, choking on the air when a hand appeared in her peripheral vision, heading straight to her. She stumbled back, hitting the door frame and tripping over her own feet to land on the ground. The memory of long dark hair and a man rushing at her faded into Gu Cheng's concerned face, hand outstretched still where he had tried to touch her shoulder.
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"Dammit, Gu Cheng," she snapped, scrambling to her feet. "Don't jump out at people. What if I had been armed? Or was that your point, I shouldn't be armed because I might hurt someone?"
Not waiting for his response, she pushed past him, taking the stairs two at a time and closing her door behind her after entering her room. The packet contained dark yellow granules, and when she poured it into her bottle of water, they dissolved quickly. The water took on the color of dilluted apple juice, or more accurately... something else that people probably wouldn't want to drink. She threw her head back and began to drink. The sound of her door opening stopped her, but since only humans could open doors, she upended the bottle again to finish it.
"What do you want, CEO Gu?" Zaria reattached the bottle cap and set the empty container down next to her on the cushion.
" I want you to stop calling me that. It is only the two of us here."
Zaria did not dignify the obvious observation with the eye roll she felt it deserved. More because the pounding in her head was making her eyes feel as though they could fall out at any moment. "Sure, CEO Gu. Was there anything else?"
"Can I please sit with you?" There was pleading in his voice and she felt bad for how she reacted toward him in the hall so she moved her empty water bottle and put the stack of blanket and sheets in the center of the couch so they could sit on opposite ends. Gu Cheng stepped forward and sat down precisely in the middle of the remaining space. "Thank you, Joseph Zaria."
The air was thick and heavy, all the things that Zaria wanted to yell hanging around them.
"I'm sorry."
Like a finger through a soap bubble floating through the air, the pressure was gone. Zaria looked at Gu Cheng directly for the first time in days. The confident man was used to others bowing and scraping before him. He had apologized before, but his apology was not just empty words used to placate. She knew how difficult it was for him to say. He was someone who had never been forced to say it to others before.
"I wasn't trying to imply that you were only good for cleaning. I can tell them to let you do some guard shifts instead -" He broke off when Zaria let out a loud sigh and looked away. "What?"
"It's not about the cleaning, CEO Gu. You took my choice away. I know that you are used to telling people what to do, but try, just for a moment, to remember that you don't have the right to do that to everyone. I am not your employee anymore. I don't know if we are friends anymore, or if we ever were, but I am not your worker and I'm not a stranger that will fawn over you and do whatever you say just because you are the most powerful man in City C."
"You wanted to go out and fight things that want to eat you!"
"I wanted to have a choice! I wanted control!" Zaria snapped at him, holding on to the anger that bubbled back up. "In case you don't remember, my choices have been taken away from me in every world so far, some more obviously than others. Do you remember at least what was happening in the last world? Someone took my choices from me, hurt me when I fought back, and then hurt you to make me do what they said. And something about that made you think I like it when people tell me what I am allowed to do?"
"You think I am being like him? That I would hurt you..." Gu Cheng sat stiff as a board, his gaze boring into the side of her face. "Joseph Zaria, did you think I was him downstairs?"
"It doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't. I accept your apology. You should go, now, CEO Gu." Zaria stood up, her body feeling heavy even though her headache was beginning to fade. "Some things here are similar to how they are in your world. A man and a woman should not be alone in a closed room. Saito-san might misunderstand." She walked to her door and opened it up to let him leave.
"Saito-san, what does she have to do with anything?" Gu Cheng stood up but did not move toward the door. Zaria closed her eyes, her hand trembling on the door knob. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was lay down and see if sleep would take her away for a while. Gu Cheng got the unspoken message and left, hesitating in front of her and reaching out for her, but when she flinched back, his hand dropped, and he let his feet carry him out into the hall.
Zaria closed the door, her brain happy to think of random thoughts instead of the odd, weighted atmosphere that seemed to fill the room when Gu Cheng was around. In years of working in the service industry, she had not opened and closed doors for others as much as she had in the last few months. Constantly putting politeness towards others first was tiring. Did someone want to leave? Open the door and hold it for them. Inviting someone in? Open the door and hold it for them. It was such a tiny little kindness, but a constant boulder of stress was sitting on her shoulders, and she just wanted to ignore the world and let it take care of itself.
Breakfast and lunch were already over, but the already upset stomach from the headache was stirring more violently with the medication swirling around in stomach acid. Zaria laid out her bed and pulled a few books she was considering starting next to her. The rest of the afternoon she tried to concentrate on a period drama set in Japan a thousand years before, following a young boy who gets taken in by a blacksmith after his family is killed during an attack on his small country town.
It wasn't that the story was not interesting or that it was written or translated poorly, but by the time the sun set and darkness filled the sky outside her windows, Zaria was asleep. For the first time all day her features were smooth and calm, and if her dreams were full of a man who twisted her around and filled her head with hopes and regrets, at least they weren't nightmares.