Alna was bored. This was something she had never expected to experience inside her own mind, seeing as it was, in fact, her mind, and the very “place” she frequently retreated to. But as the saying went, there was a first time for everything, and this was one particular first time Alna was not too keen on.

She sat in the clearing she had crafted over six years ago for her own amusement and relaxation––the one kept in endless night. To an outsider, there would appear to be nothing amiss with Alna’s little refuge––assuming this person could see into her mind. The plant life was no less rich in colour than it had been on Alna’s last visit and the sky no less calming. But this was Alna’s mind and she tended to be aware when something was wrong with it.

The sky, for example, was definitely out of order. She knew for a fact there were at least three constellations missing––one being Carina. There was also the worrying fact that Miriam University, a recent addition, had become inaccessible to her. Alna had attempted six times to get to the newer building only to be, quite literally, road blocked for her efforts. Where once there had been a road leading to Miriam University, now there was what appeared to be a white wall, which Alna, for all her efforts, could not seem to get past.

To call it frustrating would be an understatement. Alna’s mind––the world she built––had always been a place of safety for her. A place where she had near absolute control. To have that control taken away was disconcerting, to put it mildly.

Had she suffered brain damage? It was a definite possibility. One that Alna wasn’t all that fond of.

Alna laid back against the grass and attempted for the ninth time to wake herself up.

***

The doctors called it a “minimally conscious state.” That was why Alna hadn’t woken up, even after the drugs they used to put her under for surgery wore off. According to Mrs. Holt, Alna was unconscious but her brain was showing too much activity for her to be in a coma. She’d even opened her eyes on a few occasions, although she didn’t seem aware of her surroundings.

“I couldn’t help but get excited,” Mrs. Holt explained, sounding forlorn as she sat at Marianna’s bedside. “For a moment, I thought she was waking up, but then…”

Mrs. Holt gave a sigh that spoke of much exhaustion. Her shoulders slumped forward, as if she were carrying an enormous weight. Marianna knew the feeling.

“She’ll be okay,” Marianna said. She wanted to reach out and put her hand on the distraught mother’s shoulder, but Mrs. Holt had taken a seat on her left this time, making the act rather difficult. “This is Alna we’re talking about, right? She couldn’t even go into a coma properly. Alna’s not gonna let this get the best of her.”

It wasn’t until the words were out that Marianna realized her lame attempt at a joke could be taken as an offense. Why was she even trying to joke, anyway?

Before Marianna could apologize for being insensitive, Mrs. Holt agreed. “You’re right.” She straightened up and gave Marianna a soft look that, while weighed down with worry, was no less sincere. “I’m glad you’re all right, though,” she continued, reaching out to squeeze Marianna’s knee. “Are you in any pain?”

Marianna didn’t see her own comfort as all that important, but Mrs. Holt genuinely seemed to care, even after everything. She owed the woman an honest answer. In this case, anyway.

“Not really. I mean, I’m sore, and I get dizzy if I move too fast, but nothing too serious.”

On instinct, she reached up to touch the butterfly bandage on her forehead. Mrs. Holt’s eyes followed the action.

“Mary, I have to ask,” Mrs. Holt said, gently but with a determined edge. “What, exactly, happened yesterday? How did it come to”––she gestured to the hospital room––”this?”

Marianna swallowed around the lump that appeared in her throat. That very question was one of the many things that had kept her up all night, staring at the ceiling.

Casting her mind around as she stared at Alna’s prone form, Marianna said, “Alna wanted to take me somewhere––for a surprise date, or something. We were driving to some old store or café, and…I don’t know, the next thing I know the truck went berserk. I couldn’t control it at all.”

Mrs. Holt was frowning, making fear spike through Marianna’s veins. Did she know Marianna was lying? It took everything in her not to look away or fidget.

“And you skipped school for that? I’m sorry, but I don’t think that sounds like you. I certainly wouldn’t expect something like that from Alna. She values education too much,” Mrs. Holt said, her forehead wrinkled.

Marianna’s palms started to sweat. The urge to fidget increased tenfold. She cursed her inability to come up with a more plausible lie.

“It’s partly my fault,” Marianna elaborated, her mind racing a mile a minute. Wasn’t there a saying that the best lies contained some truth? How could she do that in this situation? “I was bored, so I started texting her during class. She suggested the date after a few minutes. I’m not sure she was too happy about me missing school, though.”

Marianna had to force herself to stop talking, to refrain from rambling on and giving herself away. She fixed her gaze on Mrs. Holt, trying to look sincere.

“I don’t imagine she would be,” Mrs. Holt said, still frowning.

Upon hearing Mrs. Holt’s comment, Marianna’s heart raced. It was written all over her face, wasn’t it? Marianna didn’t think she was a terrible liar––and she knew she could keep a secret. Hiding her sexuality from her parents paid tribute to that. This, however, was a different situation entirely.

Marianna swallowed and then realized that had been a stupid move.

“I wonder what caused the truck to act up,” Mrs. Holt mused––more to herself than Marianna, it seemed.

She answered anyway. “I had to pick it up at a repair shop. Maybe it was, I don’t know, sabotaged or something.” It came out sounding like more of a question than an answer.

“Maybe,” Mrs. Holt agreed, her eyes fixing themselves on Marianna’s face once more. She was beginning to wonder if at least part of Alna's intuition had come from her. Mrs. Holt must be rather smart, after all, in order to be a doctor.

Abruptly, Mrs. Holt gave her head a quick shake and stood. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re safe; Alna is”––the tension returned to Mrs. Holt’s face––“going to recover. We can worry about everything else later.”

“Yeah,” Marianna said in a faint voice. She knew Mrs. Holt was planning to leave and wished she’d stay longer. Marianna’s own parents were waiting outside of the shared hospital room, having decided to give her and Mrs. Holt time to talk. They’d been civil––even doting––since the accident, but there was still that tension simmering beneath the surface.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Apparently, her near-death experience wasn’t going to make them more open to her being bisexual. Go figure.

Mrs. Holt rested her hand on Marianna’s left knee in a gesture of comfort. “Aiden or I will visit you later, if you’re still here,” she assured her. “Although I doubt you will be much longer; you’re in good condition, considering.” Mrs. Holt’s words sounded sincere, but Marianna didn’t miss the tension in her voice. Did Mrs. Holt resent that Marianna had gotten off so easily compared to her daughter? Marianna wouldn’t blame her if she did. Heck, Marianna herself resented it a bit. If she could take Alna’s place…

Marianna forced her expression to appear grateful, although she couldn’t quite muster up the will to smile. Not after finding out about Alna’s condition.

“Okay. But don’t worry about me too much; focus on Alna,” Marianna said.

“Oh, believe me,” Mrs. Holt sighed, running a hand through her unkempt hair, “we will.” Mrs. Holt’s eyes closed for a moment, her face becoming pained. When she opened them again, she continued, “But that doesn’t mean we don’t care about you.”

Marianna didn’t understand Alna’s parents anymore. Not at all.

***

Marianna received a visit from the police before she departed from the hospital. Well, “departed” was a bit of a relative term, seeing she went straight to Alna’s private hospital room as soon as possible.

She’d given Officer Davis the same story she’d given Victoria: that she'd cut school on a whim and that she and Alna had been driving to some store or other before she lost control of the truck.

Faking distressed confusion turned out to be rather easy. The officer seemed to believe the complete crap Marianna spouted at him and he’d wrapped the interrogation in under a half an hour.

Marianna could have sworn the man was being purposefully vague regarding the duo’s arrest but assured herself that their chances of getting out of prison were slim to none.

And now here Marianna sat, holding Alna’s hand while her girlfriend’s parents sat in two chairs, both silent. Marianna’s own parents had wanted to take her straight home after her release, but when Marianna put her mind to something, she was good at holding her ground. Thus, they had reluctantly gone home, but not before telling her to call them with one of the hospital’s phones when she was ready to leave.

“I should go back to work at some point,” Mr. Holt said, shattering the delicate silence. Marianna tore her gaze from the beeping heart monitor to look at him.

“It’s only been a few days, Aiden,” Mrs. Holt consoled, reaching for her husband’s hand. “I’m sure no one would blame you for taking a week off.”

“Yeah, well.” Mr. Holt reached up to tug at his dark hair once. “It’s not like sitting here will make Alna wake up anytime sooner.”

In some corner of her mind, Marianna had to agree with Mr. Holt’s statement, but that didn’t mean she planned to leave Alna alone for too long. She’d be spending as much time in the hospital as she could until Alna woke up.

Marianna shifted a little, wishing she could adjust the position of her left arm.

“It won’t,” Mrs. Holt agreed. Over the past couple days, she seemed to have taken on the role of the voice of reason: calming down Marianna when she became hysterical and pulling her husband into her arms when despair overwhelmed him. “But if it’s for your own peace of mind…”

Marianna moved her gaze away from the couple and focused on Alna’s lax face, trying to give them privacy. Every now and again, Alna’s face would show some signs of movement (a slight pucker between her brows, a flicker of her eyelids), showing the doctor had been correct in his diagnosis. The first time Alna’s blank expression turned into a frown, Marianna’s heart had leaped hopefully, only to fall in disappointment when Alna remained unconscious.

“I won’t be going back for a couple more days,” Mrs. Holt continued after a moment of quiet. “I certainly won’t be doing any surgeries for some time.”

Marianna stared harder at Alna’s face and fought her hardest not to break down into tears.

No one spoke for another long stretch of time. So Marianna thought her reaction was justified when she jumped at the sound of a soft knock on the door.

A pretty nurse with curly chocolate hair entered the room.

“Dr. Holt, there’s someone asking after you,” the nurse informed Mrs. Holt. “Your brother, I believe.”

For a moment, Mrs. Holt appeared confused, her drawn face tightening somewhat. And then she murmured, “Oh, right.” More loudly, she added, “Thank you. I’ll be out in a moment.”

The nurse nodded and made her departure.

“You two stay here,” Mrs. Holt ordered, pressing her hand into her husband’s shoulder as he attempted to rise with her. “I’ll be right back.”

She lingered for a moment, eyes sweeping over Alna’s prone form before she rounded the bed and swept out of the room. Mr. Holt dropped his head into his hands.

Marianna looked at Mr. Holt, feeling a lump form in her throat. He was the picture of misery, with rumpled clothes, messy hair and red eyes. Mr. Holt seemed to have lost all his energy as Alna remained unresponsive. Every once in a while, Marianna had caught him staring off into nothing, a pained look on his face, as if Mr. Holt was imagining every worst-case scenario there was.

The guilt hit Marianna like a tidal wave.

“Mr. Holt––”

“Aiden,” Mr. Holt corrected her, mustering a weak smile when he looked up at her. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Aiden,” Marianna repeated. She glanced down, fidgeting. “I––I don’t think I ever told you how sorry I am about all this.”

Meeting the man’s eyes was proving to be impossible, so Marianna peered at the wall past him. This did not stop her from catching the frown on Mr. Holt’s (Aiden’s) face.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Mr. Holt asked, confused. Marianna’s eyes snapped back to him in shock.

“Well, I mean,” she stuttered, bewildered. Wasn’t it obvious? “I was the one behind the wheel––”

“In a vehicle that malfunctioned.” Mr. Holt gave her a sceptical look, seeming more like himself than he had in days. “I fail to see how any of this is your fault.”

“If I hadn’t decided to skip school––”

“Life is full of decisions, Mary,” Mr. Holt cut her off once more, sounding tired. “Do some of them lead to terrible consequences?” His eyes flicked down to Alna. “Of course they do. But sometimes people don’t know what’s going to come out of their choices––and they can’t always be blamed for that.”

Marianna opened her mouth before snapping it shut. She stared at him, having no clue how to respond.

Fortunately––or unfortunately?––Marianna didn’t have to think of anything because Mrs. Holt reappeared at that moment. When Marianna turned to look at her, Mrs. Holt gave her an apologetic look.

“Mary,” she said, sounding cautious, “I hate to kick you out, but some family members have arrived and they’d like to see Alna.”

Marianna blinked at that and then wondered why she was even surprised. This was bound to happen, anyway.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she agreed. She stood up, hesitating only a moment before ducking down to press a light kiss to Alna’s forehead. She turned back to Mrs. Holt. “I’ll come back later?” she half asked.

A jolt of fear went through her. She could come back, right?

Mrs. Holt gave Marianna a warm look. Marianna wasn’t sure why she bothered. “Of course. Do you need to call your parents? You can borrow my phone.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” She stood there awkwardly for a moment before realizing her reluctance to leave was causing her to hover. “Um, I’ll see you later, then.”

“See you,” she heard Mr. Holt say from behind her. Mrs. Holt gave her a kind look as Marianna brushed past her.

Spotting Mrs. Holt’s brother wasn’t difficult once Marianna had exited the hospital room. This was due to the fact that he and the woman Marianna assumed to be his wife were standing right outside the door. Marianna had to backpedal a bit to avoid slamming into the man’s chest.

“Sorry,” Marianna apologized. She didn’t even blush as she moved away from the door.

The couple barely even spared her a glance as they entered the room, although the man muttered a hasty greeting. Marianna stared at the door for a moment before heading off to the nurse’s desk, bypassing a girl with her blonde hair in a bun as she did so.

She only had to stand in line for a few minutes before she reached the nurse’s desk.

“Hi,” Marianna said to the woman behind the counter. “Would it be possible for me to use the phone? I need to call someone.”

The nurse smiled kindly and handed over a phone.

Marianna took it and called her mother.