Marianna felt a bit guilty for leaving Alna behind for the party last night, but she couldn’t deny she’d had fun. After leaving the party, Hikari had convinced Marianna to drive them to a candy store––minus Blaze, who’d gone to take his date home. Not that Marianna had taken much convincing.
There, the three friends had bought a grocery bag’s worth of treats, and retreated to Sadie’s house with their prizes and promptly stuffed themselves while watching a horror movie Sadie swore by. The movie scared Hikari and Marianna so much, they’d barely been able to catch any sleep at all. Sadie (the traitor) was unbothered by the entire thing and dared to fall asleep mere minutes after the movie ended, which, according to Hikari, was “so not fair.”
And that was how Marianna found herself clambering out of her parents’ truck at nearly eleven-thirty on Sunday morning, her deadened brain having been forced awake by two cups of sugary coffee.
Marianna squinted reproachfully at the cheery sunlight as it assaulted her eyes, more stumbling than walking up to the front door of her house. Having a sleepover last night hadn’t been anyone’s plan, meaning Marianna was still wearing her costume from yesterday and was sporting a severe case of bedhead.
I probably look drunk, Marianna thought with an internal laugh as she rifled around her purse for her house key. Sticking the key in the lock, Marianna let herself into her house, eyes narrowed against the bright light that insisted on assaulting her. Once inside, Marianna collapsed into the chair next to the door and fumbled with her shoes until they were successfully removed.
“Hey,” Marianna called into the quiet.
There was no reply, except for the sound of one the air vents turning on to circulate warm air through the house. Marianna straightened, running her gaze over the living room without any real comprehension.
Every curtain in the living room was open, making Marianna want to squeeze her eye.
She didn’t, though. Marianna walked to the center of the living room, trying to make her brain work.
It was then she remembered her mother was at church, and her father was likely with her. That, or he was hanging out with his buddies. Honestly, she was a bit surprised neither of her parents was there, lying in wait to interrogate her or something. She wouldn’t have put it past her father to stay at home for that exact reason.
Marianna’s mild confusion abated when she found a note in the kitchen, informing her that Dad had been called into work; he was an electrician, so that made sense. It also asked her to call or text one of her parents when she got home. Marianna didn’t even try to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. If she’d thought her parents were strict before, it didn’t hold a candle to how they’d been since finding out about her orientation.
Still, she sent a quick text to both her parents, telling them that she was home and was going to take a nap. Which was true, but if it dissuaded Mom and Dad from asking unnecessary questions, that would be a nice side effect.
Removing her Halloween coat, Marianna made her way to her bedroom, the effects of the coffee she’d had earlier starting to wear off. Once in her room, Marianna shimmied out of her clothes and selected a pair of grey sweat pants and an old, worn black t-shirt with the words “Morning sucks” printed on the front. Already Marianna felt more comfortable, and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
That done, Marianna played some relaxing music on her phone, hoping to keep last night’s horror movie far from her mind. She crawled into bed, pulling her galaxy blanket over herself. The soft strains of a piano had her asleep in under two minutes.
***
Marianna woke up sometime later, rolling over to peer at her clock with half-lidded eyes. Five o'clock. She’d been asleep for a little over six hours. Not that it felt like enough, Marianna thought as she shifted back onto her back, eyes fixing on her ceiling. It was plain and white. Marianna wondered if putting a poster there would be a good idea; something to look at when she woke up. A picture of a waterfall, for instance.
Eyes drifting shut, Marianna considered going back to sleep. However, as she rolled onto her other side, something brushed her arm. Blinking blearily, Marianna lifted her blanket to discover her phone charger resting on the mattress, the white of the charger obvious against her purple and blue sheets.
To someone else, such a thing might not have been a big deal. It took Marianna’s sleep-addled brain a moment to process the significance.
Marianna always kept her charger on the headboard of her bed, unless she was taking it somewhere with her or charging her phone. There had been some incidents in the past when she’d misplaced the darn thing. After this happened four or five times (twice in which she’d given up and bought a new one), Marianna resolved to keep her charger in one place at all times. It was effective, too. Since then, she hadn’t lost it for over a year and a half.
Its being out of place meant one of two things: either Marianna somehow moved it yesterday without realizing it (which was unlikely) or someone had been in her room. And she had a good idea of who it could have been.
Any lingering exhaustion fled altogether as Marianna shot out of her bed and stormed to the kitchen, ignoring the chill that hit her body as she left the safety of her bed. Her parents were sitting at the kitchen table across from each other, eating supper. Dad’s eyes, so similar to Marianna’s own, seemed to assess her much like Alna’s searching gaze. Except, from him, it felt much more invasive.
The sight of her parents doing something so normal after they had violated her privacy incensed Marianna even more.
“Mary––” Mom said.
“Were you in my room?” Marianna snapped, her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at them. Her sleep-rumpled appearance ruined the effect, but Marianna didn’t care. She needed answers.
Both Mom and Dad’s faces closed off almost simultaneously. There was a brief pause in which Marianna’s vision nearly went red.
“Well, what else did you expect us to do, Marianna?” Dad all but growled, hand tightening around his fork.
Again with her full name. Marianna wished they wouldn’t do that––say her full name as reproach. She quite liked it.
“What do I––” Marianna’s cheeks flushed, her eyes narrowing. “What I expect is for you to respect my privacy,” she lashed out. One hand reached up and pushed itself through her tangled hair. “What were you even doing in there?” She was fairly certain she knew their reasons for entering her room, but as Marianna pressed her fingertips to her forehead to try and regain some of her composure, she figured she’d give them the benefit of doubt.
“Marianna,” Mom began, standing up and holding her hands out in a placating manner, “we’re both worried about you. We were just––”
“Going through my things,” Marianna finished for her. The look on her parents’ faces was enough to confirm her suspicions. “God, Mom, seriously?” Marianna pinched the skin between her eyes and allowed her eyelids to slide shut, trying to stay calm.
“Well,” Dad said, “if you’d agree to see a therapist, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”
“The problem being me liking boys and”––she put deliberate emphasis on “and”––”girls.” It wasn’t a question. Marianna didn’t miss the way her mother’s mouth tightened at the words. She drew in a breath, feeling calmer now, but no less indignant.
“I’ve told you a thousand times; I’m not going to see a therapist because there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not sick,” she added when Mom opened her mouth. “I’m not rebelling, I’m not going through a phase, and nothing made me ‘this way.’” Not that they believed that. “I’m dating Alna because I like her. Because I enjoy spending time with her. There’s nothing sinister about it.”
Mom sighed and pressed a hand to her face as if Marianna was the one acting unreasonable. She wanted to scream. “Honey.” God, Marianna could not deal with that affectionate nickname. Not now. Not when they were talking about this. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
All right, Marianna admitted, she had a point there. Her anger was scrambling her brain, not to mention making her act unlike her regular self. But after weeks of being treated like a basket case, of barely being able to breathe in a certain way without earning sharp looks, Marianna was certain she was reaching the end of her tether.
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Marianna heard an edge of resignation in her voice. And then, her anger bubbling back to the surface: “And if you can’t see that, then I can’t help you.”
Dad’s face started to turn a startling shade of fuschia. “Marianna Whit––”
“I can’t do this now,” Marianna cut him off, holding her hands out. Her anger simmered, coming close to boiling over. “I’m going back to my room.” Or Hikari or Sadie’s house, she thought.
Marianna knew it was a cowardly move, but she’d never been the type of person who liked to drag out an argument. If she’d had it her way, things with her parents would have been fixed weeks ago.
When Marianna heard a set of footsteps following, she redirected her course from her bedroom to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Leaning against it, Marianna dropped her head into her hands, trying to ignore the sting of tears in her eyes. Her feet flexed, instinctively recoiling from the cold bathroom floor. A knock sounded behind her. Mom’s voice called her name, but Marianna paid no attention to her. Instead, she straightened up and faced the porcelain sink, turning the tap to release a steady stream of water. After staring at it for a moment, Marianna opened a drawer and pulled out some dental floss. She allowed her raging thoughts to take a backseat as she went through the mechanical motions of flossing and brushing her teeth, soon moving onto her hair. Mom eventually gave up on getting her attention. Marianna heard her footsteps retreat.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.
Once her hair was free of tangles, Marianna surveyed the hint of bags under her eyes. She looked completely worn out, she thought, glaring at her haggard reflection. And the day had started so well, too. Groaning to herself, Marianna ducked her head and splashed some frigid water on her face.
After taking a long, hot shower, Marianna walked back to her room, feeling much more clear-headed than earlier. Going over to her closet, Marianna selected some casual day clothes: a long since faded blue shirt,and a pair of jeans with a gaping hole in the knee from a time she’d slipped and fell on ice. She eyed her bedroom door, half expecting one of her parents to enter in an attempt to continue their earlier “discussion.”
Snatching her purse off the floor, Marianna pulled her phone out, its screen immediately lighting up to inform her that she had received two texts since noon. Both from Alna.
How was your night? the first one read. And then, sent almost an hour later: Research results are not improving. That one was from two hours ago. No other messages or calls followed. Alna must have realized Marianna wasn’t likely to get back to her anytime soon.
Knowing that Alna was thinking about her brought a smile to Marianna’s face.
Instead of replying to the texts, Marianna opened up her contacts and scrolled down until she found her girlfriend’s number, and clicked “call.” As it rang, she arranged her pillows against the headboard and leaned against them. She played with a loose string in her jean leg, eyeing the dust motes floating in the sunshine.
“Marianna,” Alna greeted three rings in. Marianna smiled.
“Hey, Alna.” She slid further down her pillows. “How are you? Busy night?”
“Most definitely,” Alna said, a hint of bitterness in her voice. Marianna frowned in sympathy.
“Still nothing?”
“Other than what we learned from Jian, not a whisper,” Alna muttered sullenly. She paused. “I’ve been taking a break. I don’t want to overwork my brain.”
Marianna laughed. “Somehow I doubt such a thing is possible.”
“Oh, believe me, it is very possible. It happens about twice a month if I’m not overdoing it as I have been recently.”
“Well, what time did you go to sleep last night?” Marianna asked with concern, eyebrows furrowing. And then, “You don’t have to answer.”
“It’s quite all right,” Alna assured her. “I went to sleep at five twenty-three.”
“What?” Marianna exclaimed, jerking upright. She stared at her white door for lack of anything better. “Alna, that’s crazy.”
“It is,” Alna agreed. “But when I focus my attention on something, time becomes meaningless.”
Marianna groaned, settling back against her pillows. Talking about late nights was making her eyelids droop. “I guess I can’t exactly judge.”
“Oh?”
Marianna took that simple syllable as an invitation, and soon she was launching into a detailed description of her night. She left very little out, hinting at how much candy she and her friends had eaten, and complaining about the movie Sadie made them watch. When she got to the part about her parents’ searching through her room, Marianna’s earlier anger returned with a vengeance. Soon her voice was rising several octaves before she checked herself and lowered it. By the time Marianna finished, a good ten to fifteen minutes had passed, and there was silence on the other end of the line. It stretched on so long that Marianna pulled her phone away from her ear to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected somehow. Confirming that it hadn’t, Marianna brought the phone back to her ear.
“Alna?” she asked, half wondering if the other girl had put down the phone somewhere while she ranted. Not that Marianna could blame her if she’d done so.
“So...bad day, then?”
The question, having come from nowhere, surprised a laugh out of Marianna. “That’s one way of putting it, yeah,” she agreed. “But I thought you hated it when people stated the obvious.”
“It can be acceptable under certain circumstances'' was Alna’s only response. Marianna’s lips twitched up on their own accord. They fell a moment later as a frown settled on Marianna features.
“I mean,” she said with a sigh, head falling back so she could stare at her ceiling, “what were they expecting to find? Porn?”
Just saying the word made her cheeks heat up. Alna’s next words only caused them to flush even more.
“It is very possible.” Before Marianna could get a word in, she continued, “From their perspective, you have been hiding a part of yourself for years. Something they consider to be harmful. They may think you have…indulged over the years.”
For a moment, Marianna was at a loss for what to say. “I…” She pressed a hand to her face, half-wishing she’d explode to save her from having this conversation. “I’m not interested in…” She couldn’t even make it through the more intimate scenes in books without having to skip them, for crying out loud.
Removing one of her pillows from behind her back, Marianna pressed it to her face, not knowing if she was trying to tone down the heat in her cheeks or smother herself.
“Somehow I don’t find that surprising,” Alna said. She sounded entertained. “But from what you have told me, your parents are seeing you in a different light these days. Which is ridiculous.”
“Tell me about it,” Marianna muttered, lowering the pillow. Alna hummed.
“Anyway, what have you been up to? I mean, besides research.” Her attempt to change the subject was painful in how palpable it was, but Alna gave no reaction and instead went with it.
“Nothing much,” she replied. “I’m doing some math at the moment; I might watch a show of some sort later.”
Marianna’s lips twitched up. “You’re writing more math on your wall? I bet your mother loves that.” The last time Marianna had been in Alna’s room, the equation almost reached the corner of her wall.
“She’s not fond of it, no, but it is my room. I shall do what I please.”
Marianna sighed fondly. “Oh, Alna, whatever will I do with you?”
“That is up for you to decide,” Alna said. “Although I hope it involves going on another date with me because I believe it is high time we attempt to do something normal, for once.”
Marianna didn’t even try to hold back the laughter that bubbled up inside her, and if she had been standing she would have bent in half from the sheer force of her giggles. Maybe it was stress or maybe it was the random suggestion, but either way, laughing felt nice.
She wiped some tears from her eyes, still grinning.
“Sure, sounds great.”
***
The next day, at about seven in the morning, Marianna arrived at St. Gloria Park and hopped off the bus. Gripping her purse and a small paper bag with donuts in it, Marianna started up one of the paved paths, eyes sweeping over the expanse of grass laid out before her. This park didn’t have a pond like some did, and made up for that fact with a children's playground, coloured mostly blue and red. The playground was every young child’s dream. It seemed to have almost every playground equipment possible, from swings to a merry-go-round, and tire swings. There was even a dance floor, of sorts, consisting of white cement inlaid with various pieces of broken glass. The effect was mesmerizing, as the sun glinted off every individual piece of glass, making it look rather like one large, glittering rainbow from the right angle.
Marianna found herself wishing such a thing had existed at the playgrounds she used to play on.
It was next to this very dance floor that Alna sat, clad in black as usual, her back facing the floor. She waved at Marianna, her dark clothes a startling contrast to the merry rainbow twinkling behind her.
Marianna approached, dodging around a woman walking her small, excitable dog, whose pink tongue hung out as it panted happily.
Leaves crinkling underfoot, Marianna walked over to the picnic table Alna was sitting at, which had seen better days.
“Just curious,” Marianna said in place of a greeting a moment later, taking a seat on the wooden bench. It was a bit damp from the light rain last night. “Do you ever wear anything that isn’t black?” She placed the paper bag on the picnic table as Alna handed her a breakfast sandwich with eggs and bacon in it. A cup of hot chocolate, accompanied by three sugar packets and a shaker of cinnamon was next. Marianna couldn’t help but feel touched for Alna’s consideration of her sweet and spicy tastes.
“Of course I do.” Alna accepted the chocolate, cream-filled donut Marianna passed to her. “Occasionally. I’ve found that black fits best with my complexion.”
Okay, she had a point there, Marianna admitted to herself as she sprinkled some sugar into her medium hot chocolate. Alna was quite pale, but she didn’t mind.
“Good point.” Marianna sprinkled a healthy dose of cinnamon into her hot chocolate before giving it a quick stir and taking a sip. Resisting the urge to sigh at the warmth sliding down her throat, she asked, “So, any new developments?”
Alna’s expression turned immediately frustrated, and it didn’t require one to be a genius to see the tension in her posture. Alna finished chewing and swallowing a bite of her breakfast sandwich before answering. “No.” She took a pull from the smoothie she’d gotten for herself. “Although I forced myself to get a proper night’s sleep last night, so I did less research than I could have.”
Marianna couldn’t deny that the killer’s lack of action was troubling, but she also couldn’t help feeling glad Alna was taking better care of herself. She stalled by taking a bite and sip of her breakfast items respectively, eyeing a red light reflected onto her hand from the dance floor. She didn’t want to sound demeaning, but…
“You’re not a cop, Alna, so, technically, catching criminals isn’t your job. I don’t think anybody will blame you if you take a bit of a break.”
Alna sighed but, thankfully, didn’t look at all offended. “I’m well aware,” she said, her voice flat. Neither of them spoke for a moment.
It wasn’t until Marianna started on her chai spice donut, powdered sugar sticking to her fingers, that Alna piped up. “I started doing it because I was bored.”
Marianna ducked her head as she chuckled. One of the many things Marianna had learned while she’d known Alna was that her girlfriend was prone to excessive bouts of boredom if she couldn’t find something to entertain her; something enjoyable or intellectually challenging. With Alna, those two often seemed to go hand in hand.
“That sounds like you,” she admitted. After pausing a moment, Marianna teased, “Do you think you might have EBS?” She looked up in time to catch Alna’s bewildered look.
“Pardon?”
“Excessive Boredom Syndrome,” Marianna elaborated, watching the corners of Alna’s eyes crinkle with amusement.
“How long did it take you to come up with that one?” she asked sarcastically. Marianna’s cheeks heated up a bit.
“Just came up with it now,” she muttered.
“Thought so,” Alna replied. As if to reassure her, Alna gave Marianna’s hand a brief squeeze. “I suppose you’re right, though. I do seem to have EBS.”
They switched to lighter topics after that, with both girls keeping a careful eye on the time so that Marianna wouldn’t be late for school. Which is what they ended up talking about.
“I’ve never been a big fan of social studies,” Marianna admitted. “I mean, I know history and politics are important to learn, but it’s never been my thing.” By this point, both had finished their sandwiches and donuts, leaving Marianna to loosely clasp her to-go cup between her hands.
Alna looked thoughtful. “Do you find it challenging?”
“A bit,” Marianna admitted. “Sometimes it seems like they give us too many dates to remember. I mean,” she continued, “I know the basics of the history: about the meteorite hitting the island, Henri Wallstone finding and naming it Starla because of that, but other things are more difficult to remember.”
Alna nodded along with Marianna’s words. “I understand,” she said with sincerity.
Marianna looked at her in amusement. “No, you don’t. You have a photographic memory.” Alna had told her as much not long after they’d started working together to find the murderer.
Alna cocked her head in acknowledgment, making no move to rebuke her.