Marianna laughed as her back hit her bedspread, raising her arms to protect herself from the oncoming attack. Her actions soon proved useless when a pillow hit her in the face, her attacker sitting on top Marianna to prevent her from wriggling away.

“Surrender yet?” Hikari asked from her position above Marianna. She smacked Marianna across the face with her fluffy weapon once more to assert her dominance.

Unable to form words through her giggling, Marianna shook her head in defiance, joyful tears filling blue eyes before she blinked them away.

“That’s how you want to play it, huh?” Hikari remarked with a raised eyebrow.

“You’ll ne—never win,” Marianna gasped out, attempting and failing to escape her captor.

“Is that so?” Hikari grinned and held the pillow out threateningly. “Well, then, time to teach you your place, mortal.” And then the attacks continued again, unrelenting and remorseless.

Helplessly, Marianna’s hand sought a weapon, only to turn up empty. How cruel Hikari was, attacking her friend out of nowhere. Marianna redoubled her defensive efforts, trying to escape. It wasn’t until she caught sight of Hikari’s exposed midriff that she saw the perfect opportunity to retaliate and took it.

“No!” Hikari cried when Marianna started to tickle her. On instinct, she tried to twist away, sending them both crashing to the floor. There was a moment of stunned silence. Then the door opened.

“I heard a loud noise. Are you girls all right?” asked a soft and kind voice. Karin, Hikari’s mother peered at them with a mixture of bewilderment and concern.

Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Hikari replied, “Yes, Okaasan, we’re fine. Got into a bit of a pillow fight.”

Amusement glittered in Karin’s eyes, and she gave them a fond smile. “Try to be more careful.” She closed the door and left. Hikari turned to Marianna and beamed.

“Well, that was fun,” she commented, flopping back and allowing her hair to spread over her carpeted floor. Marianna laid back, too, casting a longing glance at the much more comfortable bed, with its fluffy comforter and even fluffier pillows. The floor just didn’t cut it for her.

There was a moment of thoughtful silence in which Marianna’s eyes drifted around Hikari’s room, landing on a poster that depicted a girl falling through a tornado, clocks, calendars, and items both new and old-fashioned caught up in the storm. On Hikari’s headboard was a miniature version of a mannequin, which Hikari had dressed in a small green dress that looked like it was meant to be on a doll. Knowing Hikari, she very well could have made that little dress, simply for fun.

All throughout the bedroom was evidence of Hikari’s interests. Yet another poster displayed a woman walking down a runway in a sparkly blue dress, bejeweled hand resting on her hip as lights flashed behind her. Hikari had even hung some white Christmas lights from her ceiling, which served as her main source of light throughout the year.

Hikari turned her head so she could look at Marianna. “Feeling better?” she asked. Her eyes held a hint of worry.

“Yes,” Marianna replied. “Thanks. I needed that.”

Hikari was referring to the incident that occurred earlier that day. Marianna had arrived at the table she and her friends normally ate at. Seeing as she was early, Marianna decided right then would be a good time to text Alna. Contacting her two days after their date wasn’t too pushy, was it? She’d decided it wasn’t.

Texting the girl turned out to be quite an interesting experience. Alna, Marianna discovered, had a certain dry wit about her that startled a laugh out of her once or twice. So absorbed had she been in their conversation, Marianna didn’t even notice when Kearstan and a few other friends appeared. Marianna jumped in surprise before giving them a sheepish smile and telling Alna she would talk to her later.

“Ooh, I know that look,” Kearstan said, flicking a strand of pink hair away from her face with a mischievous grin. “Who’s the boy?” she’d asked then, leaning forward eagerly. Hikari peered at her with concern, while Sadie, another one of their friends, played on her phone, looking as if she couldn’t care less about the conversation. In her defense, Marianna’s group talked about boys a little too often.

Marianna wouldn’t deny that her previously carefree mood whimpered at Kearstan’s question. She wondered if there would ever come a time when people would cease to assume everyone was straight.

“Um.” Marianna hesitated. Then, making a quick decision, she’d said, “It’s not a boy.” She waited to see if Kearstan would catch on. Unfortunately, life could never be that easy.

“Ah, come on,” Kearstan scolded, giving Marianna an amused look that said she wouldn’t get away with it. “You know that doesn’t work on me—you only ever smile like that when a boy’s involved.”

At that moment, all Marianna could think about was how untrue that statement was. That, if Kearstan had been paying attention, she would have noticed Marianna’s dreamy smile when talking about her female crushes.

Face falling a moment later, Kearstan asked, “Wait, it’s not Cael, is it?” She gave Marianna a wide-eyed look.

“No.” Hardly. Though Marianna didn’t know Alna too much yet (unless one counted the surprising amount of information she’d offered on their date), she could say with confidence that she and Cael had very few similarities. And it had little to do with their genders.

“It’s not a boy,” Marianna repeated. At that moment, another one of their friends, Blaze, sat down, any greeting he might have been planning to say dying on his lips as he watched the girls converse.

Kearstan’s expression turned confused at that, and she and Marianna engaged in a back and forth match. Marianna kept insisting that she wasn’t texting a boy, while Kearstan kept asking what she meant, or insisting Marianna tell her already. Eventually, Marianna had gotten fed up with her friend’s lack of understanding, and bluntly admitted, “I was texting a girl.”

Sadie, who had appeared to be ignoring everything around her until that point, looked up. Hikari continued to look worried, eyes darting between her two friends.

Kearstan blinked at that, looking perplexed. “Why would you…” She trailed off before her eyes widened in realization. “You mean you’re…” Kearstan’s expression became a mixture of discomfort and alarm. “Um, I—I have to go,” she stuttered out before fleeing the table. Marianna wouldn’t deny that Kearstan’s rejection had cut her deep.

Once the pink-haired girl made her hasty retreat, Marianna heard Hikari mutter what she assumed to be a very much unflattering insult. However, her attention was drawn to Sadie when she said, “Well, it’s nice to know someone plays for my team.” Marianna couldn’t say she was surprised, having seen Sadie checking out some girls on one or two occasions.

Hikari, for her part, flung her head onto her folded arms at the admission, crying, “Oh, God, everybody’s been lying to me!” But the smile she gave them suggested she wasn’t all that bothered.

“Huh,” Blaze commented a moment later, sipping his soda and pushing his brown hair back. Then, grinning at Marianna, he continued, “Maybe we can double-date sometime.”

And just like that, the earlier tension abated.

Marianna frowned at the memory, trying to shake it off as she focused on what Hikari was saying.

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“They might come around," Hikari said. She lay on the floor with her arms behind her head, looking relaxed.

Marianna was not as comfortable. Deciding she’d had enough lying on the floor, she moved to sit on Hikari’s bed, the other girl following suit.

“I wouldn’t bet money on it.” Marianna fell silent for a moment. “My parents want me to see a therapist.”

“What?” Indignation sparked in Hikari’s eyes. “Are you kidding me?” At Marianna’s shrug, she groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead, eyes squeezed shut. “Seriously, what is wrong with people?”

“Fear of things that are different?” Marianna offered. Hikari scoffed to herself, glaring at the dark blue wall of her room. The angry set of her jaw reminded Marianna of a warrior princess she’d seen in a movie once.

“Whatever,” Hikari muttered. And then, her eyes softening, she turned her gaze to Marianna and said, “Do you want a coffee or hot chocolate? I think we both could use some.”

“Yeah,” Marianna agreed with a nod of her head, getting up off the bed. “Sounds like a good idea.”

***

Later on that day, Marianna sat on her bed, trying to do her homework as she glanced at her phone every few seconds. She’d been debating with herself if calling Alna and setting up a second date ever since she’d headed home, but was uncertain if calling and texting her on the same day was all right or not. One would think that, having had a boyfriend not that long ago, she would have a grasp on the proper dating etiquette. Apparently, that wasn’t the case. Sometimes she hated being shy.

Switching her attention back to her textbook, Marianna chewed her lip as she read over one of the assigned questions, before writing down the number and flipping through her textbook for the answer. Once she found the correct answer, Marianna placed her finger on the page to keep her place and wrote out the information she needed. She was halfway through writing her second sentence when her phone went off, Alna’s name appearing on the screen. It looked as though that decision was taken care of.

“Hey, Alna,” Marianna greeted once she’d picked up the phone. She fiddled with the corner of a piece of lined paper.

“Hello, Marianna,” Alna said. Unlike the last time they talked, there appeared to be little to no trace of coldness in Alna’s voice, which Marianna decided was a good thing. She sounded rather formal, though. “How have you been these last few days?”

“Fine,” Marianna answered, being deliberately vague. The last thing she wanted right now was to discuss her problems with her crush. “You?”

“I’ve been well.”

Marianna could have sworn she detected the faintest trace of annoyance in Alna’s voice.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, face falling into a frown.

“Yes, I’m fine.” A brief pause. “I’ve recently started my own personal project; it’s proving to be a bit difficult.”

“What kind of project?” Marianna inquired with genuine curiosity as she leaned back against her pillows, staring up at her white ceiling. She heard some paper crinkle under her legs and adjusted her position to avoid damaging them too much.

“Research. I’m writing an essay for an online competition.”

Well, that was vague. Marianna frowned to herself, wondering at Alna’s answer. What could be so important about this essay that she was choosing not to go into more detail? Mentally shaking herself, Marianna told herself that she and Alna had only met face to face twice. She didn’t owe her anything.

“Oh,” she said. “Sounds fun.” Marianna winced a bit at the questioning edge in her voice, hoping she hadn’t offended the other girl.

“Not everyone would think so,” Alna commented, sounding wry and amused.

“Yeah, well,” Marianna said with a slight laugh. “Not everyone likes writing essays; I sure don’t.” Just the thought of it made her want to grimace. “I’m more of a poetry person myself.”

“You write poems?” Alna sounded intrigued. “Interesting. Perhaps I could read one someday.”

Marianna smiled, allowing herself a moment to enjoy Alna’s comment and all it implied. “Well, I’m not a professional or anything, but I do like to write from time to time. I wrote a few poems in English that I’m pretty proud of.” Proud enough that she saved them on her phone.

Alna hummed in acknowledgment. “Anyway,” she said a moment later, “I suppose I should get to the reason I called.” There was that slightly sophisticated language again.

“Yes, that would be a good start,” Marianna teased. She heard Alna give a quiet laugh.

“I rather enjoyed our first outing,” Alna explained. “I thought we could have another one.” Marianna was fairly certain she wasn’t imagining the hopeful edge in the other’s voice. She beamed at the ceiling.

“I’d like that,” she agreed, hoping she wasn’t somehow making a fool of herself by sounding too eager. “Did you have anything in mind?” Marianna had chosen what to do for their first date; it was only fair that Alna decided on their second.

“Forgive me if I sound rather boring, but I was thinking we could go to a park. It would give us another opportunity to talk.”

“No, that’s fine,” Marianna said hastily. She thought about her schedule for the week. “Um, I have to study for a test tomorrow, but would Wednesday work?”

“That sounds fine. We could meet at Henri Park at five, if that works for you,” Alna suggested. “Do you know where that is?”

“I do,” Marianna said, already thinking of what she would wear. She had a purple dress that looked nice…

Bringing herself back to the present, Marianna asked, “So, anything new?”

The two girls chatted for a few more minutes before hanging up.

***

Marianna’s head rested in her hands as she stared at the gravy-covered mashed potatoes on her plate. She’d spent the last few minutes trying to force herself to eat the peas, chicken and potatoes on her plate, but only ended up mixing the food, too agitated to eat anything. And so she stared at the mess of creamy white, light brown, and green because she could not bring herself to look at either of her parents.

“I’m just asking you to think about it, honey,” Mom prodded in a gentle voice.

Oh, God, the misplaced concern was killing her. Absolutely killing her.

Picking up her fork, Marianna kept her gaze fixed downward as she stabbed at a piece of chicken with more force than necessary. After mopping up some gravy and potatoes with it, Marianna placed the piece of chicken in her mouth, taking time to regain her composure. She took a sip of milk, the sound of her swallowing nearly echoing in the quiet room, and finally brought her gaze up to Mom and Dad.

“It’s not happening,” she said. If there was a slight waver in her voice, her parents didn’t seem to notice it.

“Honey.” Mom reached out to take Marianna’s hand in her own. She looked so close to tears that Marianna allowed the contact, feeling the sudden desire to have her mother’s arms around her.

Until Mom added, “You’re sick. You need help.” She jerked her hand away.

Her father sighed, setting down his utensils and rubbing his eyes tiredly, his thick eyebrows pinching together. “You know it’s not natural, Mary. Humans aren’t built to”––here he sounded rather strangled––“have…relations with the same gender. You know it’s a sin.”

Great. Now they were pulling that card.

“No,” Marianna bit out with more force and confidence than she would have with someone else. “I don’t know that. And I’m not sick, either,” she added, turning to her mom. “I’m bisexual; seeing a therapist isn’t going to change that.” This entire situation was starting to make Marianna feel like she was experiencing mood swings, or coming down from a high of some sort. Ten minutes ago Marianna had felt as if nothing could destroy her mood, and then dinner came.

“Dammit, Marianna,” Dad said, voice low and meant to intimidate. When her blue eyes flew toward him, Marianna saw with some apprehension that Dad’s handsome, rugged face was taking on a red hue. He had picked up his fork and was gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white. Marianna half expected it to bend under the pressure. “You’re going to see a goddamn therapist.”

He’d used her full name, Marianna noted nervously. On a normal day, her parents shortened, not bothering to utter all four syllables. If they said her full name, it meant she was really in trouble.

It was so wrong, how nervous she was around her parents at that moment. These were supposed to be the people she could go to for anything, who would always have her back, and instead, they were making her feel like an intruder in her own home. All because they thought she was committing some sort of sin.

“No, Dad, I’m not,” Marianna said, doing her absolute best not to let her voice waver. That was the last thing she needed.

No longer feeling hungry, Marianna stood up and forced herself to look directly at both of her parents. “I have homework to do.” With that, she turned away from the two people who were supposed to support her; something they were failing at. She ignored both their calls—Mom’s concerned, Dad’s somewhere between furious and worried.

Neither of them followed her.

When Marianna entered her room, her mood deflated compared to what she had been feeling earlier, she resisted the strong urge to push her dresser up against the door. Instead, she settled for grabbing her phone and sitting on her bed.

Do you want to have another sleepover soon? she texted Hikari. I’m not sure how much time I can spend in this house.

Hikari’s response came almost two minutes later.

Sure. Whatever u need.