Novels2Search
Hold my Hand
Chapter 8: The Heart Struggle

Chapter 8: The Heart Struggle

Mark then woke up and he saw himself being carried on the back by someone.

“Where am I? What happened?”

“You fainted when Samantha embraced you.”

“Really? So many humiliations for today. And who might you be? And where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m your friendly somewhat neighbor Justin and we are going home.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. And we’re almost there.”

They stopped talking and silence triumphed. Except for some vehicles on the road passing by them and Justin’s shoes hitting the cement pavement. A couple of steps from Mark’s house, Justin stopped. Mark wondered why he stopped walking when they were almost at their destination.

“What’s wrong Justin?”

“This business of pursuing Samantha, drop it.”

“Why? You know that I like her.”

“There’s so much fish in the sea.”

“Yeah. But she’s the fish that I want.”

“Don’t you get it, Mark? Look at yourself. I hate seeing you like this, it’s not right.”

“I’ll take care of myself Justin, not you.”

“But I’m your friend, I worry about you, Mark.”

Mark sighed and patted Justin on the shoulder.

“Put me down, I don’t want ma finding out that I fainted. I don’t want her to worry.”

Justin sighed and put him down. He then faced his friend and looked him in the eye.

“Mark, don’t focus on a woman who likes someone else. It’s like chasing the wind, you’ll get nowhere. You will lose countless opportunities of finding a girl who will take care of you for life and will genuinely like you.”

Mark is fuming at this.

“Justin, I want her and I want to be with her. My life isn’t complete without her.”

“Bro, you just met her yesterday. You’re just having lust, not love. Wake up, Mark.”

“I already am, Justin. And I’m gonna do whatever it takes to have her.”

Mark then walked past Justin towards his house. Justin turned towards Mark walking towards his house.

Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Mark.”

“I won’t. I’m just gonna impress Samantha.”

When Mark arrived at his house, he opened the door and turned his head towards Justin.

“Bye, Justin!”

“Bye, Mark!”

Mark then entered their house and shut the door. He went up the stairs and walked towards his room. When he arrived at his room, he saw a note pinned to his door.

The note says, “Mark, I’m going back to work. I’ve prepared you some moringa tea in the fridge. Study while you’re at home and read books to stimulate your mind. Be cool. Stay blessed.”

He pulled the thumbtack and carried the note. He opened the door and went in. He put the note on the table and the thumbtack into the container of thumbtacks that is on the table. He then lay on the bed.

“Why do these things have to happen to me? I’m an embarrassment, a humiliation, and a failure. I deserved to be shot dead. Why did you let these things happen, Lord? I hate you. What kind of a God let these things happen? I rather kill myself if I have to, although I will be more miserable after I do that. Nevertheless, that’s what I want anyway. Or someone should behead me, that’s better.”

While he was saying this, he cried and turned face down on the pillow. He shouted as loud as he could with his voice muffled by the pillow. He pushed himself up on his hands and knees then punched the bed with all his might. He punched and punched and punched until he got tired. He panted while continuing to punch, but his punches were getting weaker and weaker until he stopped. On his elbow and knees, he panted with his heart beating fast. He put his forehead on the pillow and continued to sob.

He turned himself with his back on the bed and sobbed for 20 minutes straight. While participating in this useless endeavor, he wiped his eyes and blew his nose on a white towel because he was tired and disgusted with the tears from his eyes and slime from his nose being in his hands and arms. So, he wiped his eyes, hands, and arms and blew his nose with it.

After all this sobbing, he stopped and went into a trance. He just stared point-blank at the ceiling and didn’t move an inch.

“This is meaningless, I better study than be in romance. Because if I dabble with romance at this stage of my life, I’ll get stressed out and then burned out to continue my studies. And my future will be ruined just because of this trivial thing called romance. Romance is overrated and Godliness is underrated. So, I better tend my relationship with the Lord and all things will come by themselves. Even though I will have Samantha, I will not have her forever. The Lord will take her away from me and that’s the end of it. Nothing is permanent in this world but one thing is permanent. That is the love of God manifest in Christ Jesus our Lord by his life, death, and resurrection. And I hated God.”

Mark gasped at what he has done, hating the God who created the Universe. He immediately went down on the floor and knelt. When he had kneeled beside his bed, he bowed his head, clasped his hands, and closed his eyes.

“Why do I hate you, Lord? Why am I bitter towards you? You have given me food to eat and clothes to wear, yet I’m so ungrateful. I know, O Lord, that you’re gonna send me to Hell because of my hatred and bitterness towards you. Have mercy on me and forgive me, O Lord, for I am nothing, living for a while and gone in a moment. I’m no better than the wicked and the sinner, O Lord. I’m sorry, O Lord, My God.”

At this, he sobbed bitterly. He kept on asking for forgiveness from God, telling him to show mercy. Then suddenly, a voice came out of nowhere saying, “I forgive you, my son. I love you. Don’t cry now for I am with you. Arise and be glad.”

Mark was shocked that he heard the voice of God. But he was filled with peace and joy. And he continued to sob uncontrollably.

Mark spent his afternoon reading his Bible. Then he heard their front door open and shut. He then realized that it was his parents. He closed the Bible, got out of his room, and went down the stairs. He met his parents and held out his hand. His parents conceded his gesture by holding out their hands to him and Mark then touched them on his forehead. Mark smiled at them and went back to his room. He then continued to read his Bible. They then ate together and went to bed.