I walked through the hall, feeling unsure of how the day would go. Lady Lura'mi had left a few days ago, but Misana had sequestered herself away till that day. The walk seemed to take forever and Anna remained quiet all the way. She too seemed worried. I had no idea what to expect. At the door to the library, Salvester stood there calmly.
His elderly face was stern as he said, "Ah, Master Moores."
He paused there for a moment and then took a deep, slow breath. Then he said, "The Young Lady is waiting within. I must warn you outright and now that Lady Lura'mi has given me personal instruction that we must follow. For that, I must beg you to understand this is not what any of us advised, but she is...set in her way."
I clicked my tongue and nodded, knowing no amount of steeling myself would work. I asked, "How is Misana?"
The old man turned his eyes down and slowly shook his head, saying, "The truth of her and your natures and the actions done have left her in a delicate place. Yet her old habits will not die so easily and thus your actions need to be carefully taken."
Anna asked, "What is it that Lady Lura'mi demanded?"
A look of concern and annoyance crossed Salvester's face, shook his head slightly, and said, "She is intent that you two share a couch and...hold hands while she teaches you. I insisted this was a bad idea, but Captain Zent was in no mood to help for whatever reasoning he had. I-"
Interrupting, I said, "I understand. Do we really have to do that? How would she even know?"
Salvester said, "I can't proclaim any knowledge of how she watches, but at the very least you will need to sit on the couch with her. Let the young lady deal with this at her own pace, if you would please, Master Moores."
I nodded again, considering the words carefully. He couldn't tell me how or perhaps who would tell Lady Lura'mi we disobeyed. I didn't know if there was a magical way to do that, but I did know it could soundproof a room. It occured to me, much to my own disgust, that there could be a secret room in which someone watched us the entire time without us knowing. I couldn't help but to imagine my own room had such a thing. All I could do at that moment was accept that I had no actual proof of such a thing.
I walked into the room and saw her sitting on a couch that had been brought in. It was far smaller than I had hoped. She sat there with the book in her lap, staring at me with her own uncertain look. It was obvious that she hadn't been sleeping well, but I couldn't blame her. Anna shoved me forward from behind saying, "Stop blocking the door."
I walked over to the couch, Misana's eye never leaving me. I stood there awkwardly for a moment and she slowly moved over slightly while saying quitely, "Good m-morning."
Sitting down, I saw the half-elven woman tense up and grip the book in her lap. It felt somewhat like I was sitting next to a bomb and if I did something mildly wrong, it'd go off. I said, failing at an attempt to talk normally, "Hello."
Salvester and Anna sat down and were clearly on edge themselves. Misana took a shaking breath and said, "Ok. S-so let's...g-go over the way to d-draw the l-lines."
It was a slow, awful couple of hours. After having managed to 'draw' a single line in the air, which faltered and fell apart instantly, I atleast felt that we were getting somewhere with something. Then, after some more practice, the point everyone in the room was worrying about occured. Misana gripped the book with one hand and looked away. Slowly, I saw her reach the other towards my hand. I had dreaded the entire time that she'd attempt to obey her mother's demand.
With careful, cautious movement, she took hold of mine and I looked at her. She was sitting there, having gone quiet and biting her lip hard. She was shaking so terribly that the entire couch moved lightly. Meeting my eyes only once, she then closed her own remaining eye and dropped her head down.
I stared down at our hands, unsure what I could even do. Was letting her continue to hold it the right move? Would trying to stop it only make it worse? I was practically paralized, staring at the source of this problem and unsure if I could even make any kind of right move.
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Slowly, I looked back up to her and saw a drop of blood fall onto the open book in her lap. My breath hitched and I said, "Misana."
Her eye shot up and her face turned up to me, blood running slightly from where she was biting her lip. Tears were forming in her eye as she stared. There was this horrible feeling in my stomach that I needed to do something, but I couldn't move under that gaze. It was as if I held a small, frightened animal. She began to squeeze my hand hard and there was a desperate and insane look on her face.
She leaned in suddenly and whispered in a low, odd voice, "F-fear and w-worry. It...it hurts. I-I can't take this. S-stop playing with me."
I suddenly reached out with my other arm, shocked at my own actions, and pulled her in. Salvester and Anna got to their feet as soon as I did, but I held her close with her head on my shoulder. I could feel her shaking as she said, "D-do you...int-intend..."
I stared at the two who stood there and I frowned at them. Anna looked as lost as I did, but Salvester's face was etched with an intense look. I asked, making sure to not hold Misana too tightly or too weakly, "Intend to what?"
Misana let out a small whimper. She weakly asked, "M-mother...demands it...even after e-everything...th-that we be...to-together."
I had no idea what I was going to do. There wasn't much choice I was being given to start with and if I ran away, I'd be breaking the promise I made. I asked, "Misana, I..."
I trailed off and she moved to look up at me, her mouth bloody and her eye red. She said, with some force in her voice, "You p-promised we wh-where in this...together. Right? I-If...if this hell...If I m-must...suffer it. you said that it wasn't. Wh-what am I to do then? I'll obey. I need you to just give me the truth, though. Even...even if I think it is w-wrong."
My eyes widened, understanding now what I had truly gotten myself into. She gripped my hand painfully and she dropped her head back down onto my shoulder, saying, "E-even if you hate me and a-are doing this to make it w-worse. I...I can't t-take th-this world anymore. N-not alone. D-don't...don't just...promise and...leave me. I-I'll do anything. J-just don't break the promise."
She nuzzled into my shoulder and I just let her take that messed up comfort. I couldn't help but feel miserable in my understanding how terribly I had screwed up that night. I took a deep sigh and looked at the other two as both sat back down. Salvester wore this blank look that was clearly a well practiced one. Anna wouldn't even look at us. I let out a sigh and asked, "Then it's what you want?"
Misana, still shaking, said in a dulled voice, "It's wrong. It's s-so wrong for it to be you of a-all people. B-but I can't let go. I can't st-stand this. I-I need it. I n-need you. B-because you m-made that stupid promise. I-I can't just die now, you jackass."
Salvester was watching us carefully and when our eyes met, he merely raised an eyebrow. I looked back down to Misana, feeling the warmth of her against me, and felt like a horrible person. I said, resolved, "Misana, I plan to keep my promise. I won't abandon you, but do you really desire a marriage?"
I let out a yelp and she suddenly bit my shoulder. Anna startled and watched with confused horror and Salvester's visage broke for a moment into a look of shock. Misana let go and said, "Shut up. W-we don't have a choice. Stop p-playing games with me. J-just tell me the truth."
An annoyance sought through me for a moment but I let it die down. I said, now trying to be more stern, "I am going to keep my promise. I don't care if we have a choice, I want to know what you want."
She nuzzled herself up against my neck and said, her own annoyance creeping in, "I just t-told you that. S-stop playing this s-stupid game."
I frowned and pulled my hand from hers, she took a sharp inhale and tensed. I then put it around her. Silently I cursed myself for the position I had made for myself in doing so, but it was becoming clear that my cautious attitude was only making it worse. I said, "Fine. You think this is all some sort of sick joke right? You hate that I won't kill you. You hate that you want me around. Of all the people, it had to me, right?"
Misana's face shot up to mine and she wore a glare as she cried, shifting herself to be face to face with me. She said, "Y-you. You of all people. Y-yes, you, damn it. S-stop playing around!"
I stared in shock as she grabbed my arms and pulled them from around her. She continued, "D-damn it. Please, j-just...l-l just need you t-to...I need you. I-I can't go on without you n-now thanks to that promise. Ok?"
She held both of my hands in her own. There was a veritable cocktail of emotions on her face as she sat there with me. I knew I was once again stuck in a situation I was woefully unable to deal with and knew it was one I didn't even have all the pieces to. Still, she stared at me with a desire so intense that it hurt to know just how badly my presence was to her. I said, "I don't want to force you to do anyth-"
A deep frown formed as she looked down at our hands, causing me to stop. She dropped mine and was silent as she sat there, her own still in the air. There was a bitter sort of way she sat there, no doubt as aware of the horrible irony of that statement as much as me. The torn look didn't disappear as she sheepishly looked back at me. Suddenly she leaned in but stopped, tears running freely down her face. Her face was a mix of shame, want, and anger. She then promptly got up and walked over to the door, Salvester in tow.
Misana stopped as she opened it and said, "I-I can't help it. Even i-if I know this is wrong in the worst o-of ways. Y-you p-put this idiotic hope in m-me."
I sat there dumbfounded as the door clicked shut, unsure if I had done something right or wrong anymore. Anna then shouted at me, "What is wrong with you?!"
The guard was in her chair, looking at me with a look of disgusted confusion. I blinked a few times and she let out a loud groan. Anna said, "You just let her walk away, you idiot."
There was no actual thought in my head for a half minute and then I asked, "Why would I stop her after that?"
She looked from me to the door and back, a look of utter disgust forming on her face. She dropped her face into her hands and said, "I don't even know what your goal is. You don't want to marry her, but you keep putting the moves on her. Lunatics. Her, her mother, her butler, you. Gods, I'm insane for not stopping you two from doing this nonsense."