I stared at her as she sat there, the light of the magical torch bathing my room in a cold sort of pale light. Even though I had been sure Misana would say she was that person, I was still not ready to hear it. My entire body felt as if it had suddenly gone numb. I couldn't even tell what I felt. She fidgeted only lightly as the silence grew ever more like a great weight pressing down upon us.

Then, as if some great dam broke, I felt a wave of mixed unrefined emotion rip through me. Hatred and rage burned at my core for her. She was the one who had spiralled my life into utter misery. She was the one who led to my unjust death and the torment of my undying life. I gripped my hands till my knuckles turned white.

My teeth clenched as I said, "You. Of all the damn people this fucked world would force me to be near. You."

Misana's eye slowly dropped it's gaze as she smiled in a miserable way. She muttered in a soft, weak voice, "Yes."

I said, my words barely understandable through the growl, "You destroyed my life. You ruined everything for me. Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering you put me in?!"

She shivered in the chair and slowly gripped her arms, the nails digging into the skin. I glared at her as she sat there for a few breaths before asking, "Is that not why I-I'm here? This i-is my hell."

I slammed my fist into the wall, causing her to twitch but made no movement beyond that. I shouted, "Your hell?! You think this world is for you?!"

Misana nodded without hesitation and said, "I a-am the s-sinner here."

"You are a fucking idiot," I hissed as my mind flashed with the image of Veline's face, "Your hell?! Don't be so fucking selfish. You want this world to be your hell for what? So you can claim your free of what you did to me?!"

She shrunk back a bit at the statement and asked, "Free? I-I don't think that...but if it-it isn't hell...w-what else i-is this place t-then?"

"Just another world! And not yours, that much is for damn sure! Do you really think this world is for you? Then what was Veline?! Veline wanted to enjoy this fucked up world and she would happily help me to do whatever I want for the chance to enjoy it! She didn't care if I was a monster or a hero or anything else beyond my immortality! She chose me as her master and put her absolute faith in me because I couldn't die. It was a dumb fucking reason to do such a thing but I promised her," I shouted, misery and grief fueling me just as much as my anger.

The half elven woman turned her eye to me, a look of confusion on her face. I continued my tirade, "Your world for you to absolve yourself of your sins by suffering?! What of Anna then? What is she?! Salvester even! What of the people?! What about me?!

"So is it your fucking salvation through torture that I must die yet more times?! I must suffer for you after what you did to me?! You want to be free of it yet you are happy to let your supposed victim suffer yet more for it? What sort of selfish bitch are you?! This new world where you were reborn to repent and this is how you do it?!"

Tears ran down her face as she just sat there and let me continue to yell at her. It clearly was taking all her effort to remain quiet as blood began to form in small droplets the spots on her arm in which she gripped herself. I got up and grabbed my wrists, causing her to let out a squeak of fear. She stared at me with a sickening look of fear and wanting. I forcefully pulled her arms open and away from the wounds. I growled at her quietly, "You are a selfish person. Stop hurting yourself in front of me so you can try and wallow in your guilt. This is not your world and I won't play into that fantasy."

Misana weakly whimpered, "T-then...all...this w-wasn't..."

She trailed off and bit onto her lip. Her eyes flashed to me; then she leapt forward, grabbed my shoulders, the tears flowing freely from her bloodshot eye. She shook violently, barely able to keep standing. The look on her face was somewhere between hatred, fear, and misery as she gripped my shoulder. Her nails dug in as she said, "I...I need to be p-punished. I m-must su-suffer more. Please. I-it can't be fo-for nothing. Even if all I've done i-is hurt you more. If it isn't h-hell, then why? W-why was I e-even allo-allowed to live again. P-please. You are right about me. I-I am s-selfish. A-all I want is...punishment. I don't deserve a-anything else."

A terror ran through me as I saw in her look a similarity that I couldn't stand. The pitiful eyes glinted and the tone brought an echo of that horrific goddess to my mind. I inhaled sharply and said, "Shut up. I don't want to hear what you think you deserve. You can't demand forgiveness or punishment from me."

Misana leaned forward more and I tried to move away. Her miserable voice saying, "Please....ple-please. Hurt me. Kill me. Please mak-make it all end. I-I didn't want t-to live agai-again. I killed m-myself t-to esc-escape it. B-but I w-was made to suffer mor-more for my sins! So I-I took it! I inflic-inflicted every w-wound for it!"

My back hit the wall and she climbed fully onto the bed. She crawled up onto me as she continued, "I...I ca-can't be fo-forgiven! E-even my life wasn't enough. E-even these fi-fifty years a-are not enough. I c-can't take this an-anymore. Please...just end me. F-finish my punishment. It's...only right. I am the mon-monster who's done so much w-wrong to you. It's r-right you sh-should kill me."

Her grip loosened on my shoulder and her hands ran down my arms till they reached my wrists. She took hold and brought them up her own neck, a soft smile on her face. Carefully she took them and wrapped them around the entire thing. Tears continued, now fully broken down. She said, "Kill me. T-take your vengeance out o-on me. Please."

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As her hands fell away, I didn't let go. Yet I didn't squeeze. I just sat there, with her on top of me. All my anger drove me to want to do it. Yet, instead something held me back. The memory of that day when she lost her eye jarred me loose. A pange of guilt struck me. I wanted nothing more to end her life, yet my eyes fell on all the scars that were fully on display. I couldn't stop looking at the eyepatch and the scar beneath it. Slowly, my rage began to cool, and my fingers slipped from her and my hands fell to the bed. I let muttered, "Get off me."

Misana grabbed my shirt and screamed, "Why?! Why wo-won't you kill me?! Don't y-you hate me?! M-make this end!"

I gave her a tired look and realized I couldn't feel that hatred anywhere near as much as I did. A new, sad lucidity had taken hold. I tried to move her but she sat firm there on top of me. She slapped me and shouted, "Hate me! P-please hate me! Yo-you must hate me! Please j-just kill me!"

Slowly I looked back at her and shook my head. In my rage I had forgotten that she bore a curse of her own. So as her own anger led her to scream at me, I knew she could feel the exact thing I did. I sat there and let her strike me over and over. It wouldn't really even matter if she killed them in that rage. I'd get back up later. So I let her, knowing that feeling in me would eat away at that anger she bore. With each hit it got weaker and weaker till her fist tapped my chest lightly. It hurt, but I had made a decision to kill this tragedy before it could continue.

Misana whimpered as she asked, exhausted, "Wh-why don't you hate m-me now l-like you just did? Why? Please. S-stop. Just hate me. M-make this suffering end. Please."

Slowly I reached out and pulled her in, hugging her. It was a sort of sick cosmic joke that of all the people in this world, she was the one I was now feeling sympathy for. There was a gasp of surprise from her, but I was determined to do this. I had enough of feeling angry and hateful. She wanted me to end her suffering, so I would try in my own way. She shuddered as I held her gently and I asked, my own voice having gone hoarse, "You want to be punished? You are an idiot. This world isn't your hell. Stop trying to get that punishment you think you deserve. You want to be free of your sins? How? By having me kill you? What does that solve?"

She whimpered, "I-if you kill me....th-then yo-you'll-"

"I'll what? Have to live knowing I killed you? I'll have gotten revenge on the girl who accused me and got me killed? What good is that anymore? Fifty years you said that you lived in this world, right? Do you know how hard it is to be asked to do that? To see you with all those scars and that eyepatch begging me. I can't stand it. I can't kill you. Damn it all, I can't just kill you after having seen that. Don't you get it?" I asked, not letting go.

Her arms went limp and she didn't struggle against me. Slowly her head fell onto my shoulder. After a few moments I said, "It doesn't really matter what happened in our old world. Not anymore. We both are dead there. I don't know how more than fifty years have passed for you, but I have decided I won't let my life go like that other one. I won't just roll over and accept a tragic fate.

"You want to not feel guilty, then start understanding that this isn't your world for your punishment. I refuse to let you think that all the suffering of this world is yours. That all Veline's and mine was for your sake. I won't accept that."

She said, quiet and miserable, "I...I really am st-still a monster, th-though. Please, I...if you refuse to kill m-me...Th-then what?"

I sat there trying to even consider what to say to that. It wasn't something that'd we'd just forget. That past world would remain something that'd always be in our memories. The actions of that apparently so long ago day had set us down that path to the point we were at. I said, "I don't have the answers you want. But whatever the correct answer is? We're stuck here together now. I can't just forgive you, but I can't hate you. Not anymore."

After some time, Misana's arms slowly went around me and she asked, pathetic and weak, "T-then....what? W-we just...try to m-move past what I-I've done? I ca-can't. Af-after all that I d-did. H-how can I?"

I let out a sigh and said, "I don't know. Listen, if you want a punishment? Fine. Keep living. If I must suffer in this world, then you must too. You want to be free of your wrongs? Then keep living. I..."

I faltered for a moment. It felt like a horrible joke in itself, but I had already said the two of us were stuck together anyways. So with a sigh I said, "I will be here. If you want to view me as your punishment. Fine. I'll be here every step of the way. We'll have to keep going on anyways."

She held onto me in a gentle manner. She quietly began to cry a bit again. Despite the ache from her attack, I let her continue the embrace. Slowly the door to the room opened, though, and the light of Anna's magic torch lit the room. She was clearly concerned and, after seeing us, confused. I looked down at Misana, my eyes tracing the scars on her shoulders. There were so many that in spots the normal skin was hard to even see. She said, "I-I'll....I'm...I d-don't know if I-I can...."

Anna was quiet and stood there for a moment, eyeing the two of us. I gave her a sad stare, no doubt large bruises on my face. Slowly Misana let go, crawled off the bed, and took her lamp. Her eye was puffy and her entire face was red from crying. She let out a shaking sigh, saying, "I-I'm sor-...I'm n-not sure....Alexander....I-if th-this isn't hell then...Do you...thi-think I'll ev-ever....be free? I-if......if a-all this...is f-for nothing..."

I sat up, my body aching from the abuse but I tried to hide it. Misana had no doubt taken her own form of a beating from all that had just happened, so I was going to do my best to not give her any more so-called sins to worry over. I said, calm and tired, "It won't be, Misana. Go to bed. You still have to teach me magic."

Misana met my eyes and then turned to the door, asking, "Y-you sti-still are going to call me Misana?"

"Your real name IS Misana. Whoever that other woman was long ago, you aren't her," I said. I couldn't forgive that past life of hers, but I couldn't hate Misana. Even if Misana had that horrible person's memories, Misana wasn't her. At least, that is what I told myself. If it was what I must do to kill those lingering dark emotions it would be what I would do.

Misana's head lowered, losing herself in thought for a moment, and said, "G-good night, Alexander."

She left the room and Anna looked between the door and me, a look begging for some sort of help understanding. I sighed and then winced from the pain. Anna instantly walked over and looked at the spots where I was struck. She looked at me with annoyance and asked, "Do you have a thing for getting into bad situations?"

I shook my head and asked, "How bad?"

Anna gave me a frown and said, "The wounds? Oh bruises, sores, and some scratches on your shoulder. The outcome? Lady Lura'mi might kill you for that ruckus. If she doesn't, Captain Zent might. He absolutely was not happy. You also might have over compensated the whole fear she had of you and she might now become utterly clingy. You were told you might be forced to be with her so you go and what? Was that romancing her or something? You apparently are just as mental as the rest of the household."

It was weirdly comforting to have her go on about how dumb what I did was. I sighed and laid down on the bed, then asked, "How much did you hear?"

She dramatically turned and walked to the door, saying, "Not a lot. The door and walls are thick, you know. Something about her thinking this world was her punishment? Then her yelling at you to hate her and murder her? I'm not going to ask if I haven't even a starting understanding of this. I asked you to NOT do anything crazy."

"Well, I didn't kill her," I said somewhat sarcastically in my own tone.

My guard looked at me and let out a sigh, saying, "If any of those wounds start getting bad, tell me. You might not stay dead, but infections are still terrible.So...I guess good night then."