I slowly opened my eyes once more to the trees rising far over head. Once more the cold nipped at my skin. Yet a feeling of emptiness met me. I lay in shallow hole with snow having filled in. There was a calm in me as I sat up. The clearing had only grown more bleak. The demons had long since faded away. Yet the coating of snow only made the remains of the undead and the camp all the more grim.

  The fight played out in my mind over and over. How I could have done it different, how I could have not resorted to such a desperate attack, and how I let it get to me. Yet, even then, it’s words still stabbed at me. How it had been responsible.

  I got up and began digging through the snow. For minutes I looked. It was only when I found a broken glass bottle did I stop. The label only half remaining. It had cut my finger, yet I didn’t care. The red mixing in the browned mess of frown ground. I held it for a moment before dropping it. A vague memory of how it's use. The fact it was to help save the lives of some people in some town. The name of the place long faded from me. Yet a cold feeling stuck in me. A weight seemed to have settled upon my shoulders.

  I turned, a feeling had formed in me. One moment I remembered the maddened blood lust that had taken hold. Then? A cold, dark thing began to filter into me. I tried to find some sign of tracks anywhere, yet the snow had covered all.

  Careless in my action, I began making ever growing circles around the place. I had to know if something was true. Hours must have passed. Every time I began to become too cold? I stopped and created small flames to chase it away. Yet even that could not chase away what felt like a ghost following me. When finally the sun began to set and I was aching from the effort. I saw something in the snow. The light glittering off a bit of metal.

  I walked to the spot. There was a figure laying there. Part of it lay face down. A broken, managed body lay in there with snow having built up on it. I knelt down, my hands shaking from more than the cold, and turned the corpse over. My jaw tightened as I fought back the swelling emotion. The horror was still written on the face of the mage girl.

  The look frozen upon her face cut deep past everything. For a split second, I saw Anna's face there. Every bit of snow turned a deep, horrible red.

  My eyes turned upwards. One pile of snow became far more blatant now. I felt some lump form in my throat. A broke bit of wood with a bit of metal glinting at it’s end. By a tree sat the broken shield. I wanted to feel anything but what came.

  I walked over to the form, but couldn't reach down. I just stood there. His arm was reaching out towards something. I looked up and saw the snapped bit of wood. Some dark color having ran down the tree. The only thing I saw there in the snow was a single hand poking out. It's fingers reaching back towards the others.

  I wanted to be angry, for my heart to flood with hatred. Instead a weakness came over me, my eye clinched shut, and my head dropped. I wanted to be attacked. For something to leap out and make me forget that. The quiet of the forest was all I could hear.

  I was there, in utter silence. There would be no escape from it. It wasn't some dream I'd wake from. Nothing but that feeling in me. It was my fault. No matter what or why. Had I driven them off? Had I ran from them? Had I done anything other than let them get close? They might have lived.

  Then, a horrific chill ran through me as a voice spoke into my ear, “Weak.”

  My eyes snapped open and threw a punch into the air next to me. My eyes darted around, yet I was alone. I was alone in that horrible silence.

  I stood there unable to even bring myself to argue with it. Slowly, gripping my hands tight. I turned from the dead adventurers, muttering, “I’m so-”

  The words caught in my throat as I remembered the corpse like visage of the hanging goddess. Her apologies digging themselves under my skin.

  I tried to shake away the emotion but it held strong. I turned away from them and began to speak, “Veline Scheltia, I-’

  I paused. There was a moment as I stood there. She had been screaming about the pain. I had hurt everyone by being around them. Could I subject her to yet more? How much was I willing to hurt her by making her be there?

  I refused to accept what ever doubt formed. She was always there for me. She had promised to follow me. I knew her feelings for I could feel them. I called out, my voice hoarse, “Veline Scheltia! Your master calls you back!”

  Before me, her form took shape. The clattering noise of her chains and there tokens echoing as she became definite. Then, floating there, her eyes became focused. Her eyes drifted around for a few moments. Then, Veline’s dazed look turned to a wide eyed stare at me. I could feel her confusion.

  There was silence as we stared at each other for a moment. The look drove a deep fear into me. That scared expression. Worse than any monster, worse than being face to face with a god, worse than anything in the world. It frightened me worse than everything. That moment of fear she felt. It was worse than anything. I stepped forward, my hand out stretched towards her. Reflexively, she drifted back slightly.

  My heart dropped like a stone into water. The feeling snuffed out everything in me beyond that miserable feeling. My balance faltered. I whine like a child escaped me. I felt like everything had finally was truly lost in that moment.

  Then Veline flew right into me, gripping me tightly with her arms and tail. She held on tighter than she ever had before. It hurt, but I didn’t stop her. She said nothing. A feeling a sadness followed from her. I dragged her down with me as I hit my knees. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I put my arms around her as the tears escaped me. The silence gave way to my miserable sobbing.