Paul sat on a rock outside of Izanami’s castle, elbows on his knees, his head hanging down low. He felt tired, more tired than he recalled being in a very long time indeed. Too tired to even look up, to tired to even think!

He still wasn’t sure if they’d won or lost. It looked like a win, but it felt like a loss.

Izanami was gone, as far as anyone knew. There wasn’t a body to confirm it, but there was also no sign of her. She ought to be dead he thought, there was no way he could imagine she’d survive. Yomi was depleted of mana, the bones of the undead things she’d used as puppet soldiers lay scattered and inert. Even the unquiet spirits of the hungry dead had vanished.

But what turned the victory into the bitter ashes of defeat was the fact the kami were gone as well. According to the JSDF special ops soldiers guarding them, at the point where all hell had broken loose, the manifest spirits of the multitude of gods, goddesses and so on had all glowed like lightbulbs, and faded out, turning into just so many clouds of sparks before vanishing like a cheap special effect.

Everyone was asking him what this meant, and honestly, he hadn’t the faintest idea. He’d fallen off the edge of his mental map sometime ago and was in unknown waters. He’d made up a bullshit answer on the spot, meant to reassure everyone they hadn’t just killed them all permanently but honestly, he didn’t know and was afraid to find out for sure.

Paul lifted his head, and peered into the distance though the sweat dampened curls of his hair. About a kilometer away the battleship Yamato lay on the ground, mostly standing keel down and somewhat level. Katsumi had managed to make a reasonable landing despite the ‘wave motion’ gun draining her almost completely of mana. Her human avatar had collapsed on the bridge and was out cold still, although at least she was still corporal. The Yamato itself was stranded for now, and it was a toss up whether Katsumi would wake up and fly her out, or Yomi would flood through the gate and they’d have to sail her home, assuming they could. At least she’d float and she had a minimal crew of Japanese maritime self defense personnel. Although, they might need to tow her out if Katsumi didn’t wake up in time. Most of the human crew had never seen engines from that era and only had vague notion how to go about lighting her boilers, much less getting her under way.

Katsu had limped back as well, in human form and bleeding, but otherwise in better shape than one would expect given she’d just gone toe-to-toe with the Goddess of Death. Suz-metal had ‘jump started’ Katsu, sharing with her remaining reserves of Prana, as Paul had decided divine magic was to be called, and Katsu was now slowly healing. Which left Suz-metal in charge by default for now, as the only conscious and semi-functional Goddess.

However… aside from the two living Goddesses, every other manifested spiritual being had vanished. Including the ghost crew of the Yamato, and most importantly, Inari.

According to the human bridge officers, she’d appeared to be trying to say something even as she turned into a shower of golden pinpricks of light and faded away. The signals officer, a young ensign who could lip read, reported her last words were a haiku, of all things!

Fallen sakura petals

Drifting on the gentle breeze,

A new life begins.

Paul refused to give into despair, not just yet. But all he could feel right now was bone aching weariness. He wanted to believe Inari was alright, somehow, somewhere… but he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it. She’d gone, and Paul suspected she and the rest of the Gods were finally, completely and irrevocably dead, their spirits departed for whatever happened afterwards for Divinities. Inari’s final words were of no comfort either, they could be taken as the possibility of rebirth, or moving on to whatever kind of afterlife awaited a Goddess.

Even Kate seemed to have gone AWOL for the moment. There wasn’t even the familiar comforting sense of her presence, like a warm hand on his shoulder.

Paul sighed and looked up, the major and his team were evacuating the building… although perhaps ‘looting’ was closer to the mark. There was an extensive library, although to what end Izanami had created it was anyone’s guess, but it was full of ancient scrolls in proto-kanji script. Which would fascinate Kiko at least… Paul mentally winced as he thought of her, back at the temple, awaiting Inari’s return.

He was very tempted to remain seated, to wait to see if Yomi flooded completely and just let the dark waters take him under. Sighing, he slipped off the rock to sit on the ground, his back pressed against it and head tilted back, closing his eyes. Perhaps no-one would find him here, out of sight, and with a bit of luck, everyone would assume he was with someone else until it was too late for them to come back and find him.

He was just so tired. He’d done his utmost, achieved what even he’d thought was impossible… and it hadn’t been enough. Inari had been lost to him. He longed to rest, to just lie down and let go.

The irony was, in the moment of her initial loss, in the bleak dark span of time upon the train back, he’d realised that he’d been incredibly stupid. He couldn’t think of one good reason why he’d refused to admit his feelings for her and act on them. Turning her away, he’d thought, was foolish and the only reason he could think he’d done it was stupid stubbornness. He’d made a vow to Kate, and was clinging to it despite her releasing him from it. He supposed in away it was because he was still clinging to her, refusing to believe she was dead regardless of the facts. As if moving on in his life would be acknowledging that she was truly dead.

Now Inari was lost to him as well and he had to face the fact that there was nothing else he could do. He’d failed to bring her back, failed to let her know the true extent of how he felt, and failed everyone else that had been relying on him. Close didn’t count.

All that was left for him to do now was to follow her into the beyond. He hoped he could at least get that right, fulfilling his final promise to her.

Paul winced slight as he heard Shoko calling his name off in the distance. She’d gone hurrying ahead to the Yamato, and returned bearing the awful news. The devastated look on Shoko’s normally bright and cheerful face telling him all he needed to know even before she spoke. He just couldn’t cope any more, even her tears hadn’t moved him. He’d felt… nothing. Paul had mumbled some excuse even he couldn’t remember now, probably one no-one believed, and walked off.

Paul sighed, and levered himself to his feet, walking further away, seeking some place to rest undiscovered until the end took him.

How long he stumbled through the black gritty dusty sand of Yomi he didn’t know, only that eventually he found himself at the base of a small cliff, unable to go any further, while the in-rushing torrent of sea water formed a lake partly to one side of him. Paul frowned, something had stopped him in his tracks, rousing him from his stupor, something out of place had caught his attention despite his mood. Looking round he saw what it was. A body lying on the newly formed beach…

Walking wearily over to the sprawled, sodden form, he saw that it was young woman. Japanese he guessed, with a tangle of long black bedraggled hair splattered out on the rocks beside her. She was dressed in tattered grey robes that may have been a silk kimono at one point and now clung to her like shroud.

Squatting down beside her, he pressed two fingers against the cold pale skin of her neck, and was surprised to feel the faintest flutter of a pulse beneath his finger tips. Paul pulled on her shoulder, rolling her onto her side, and held a finger a hairsbreadth from her pale blue lips, checking for breath.

Finding none, he acted quickly, inserting a finger into her mouth to check for debris choking her, and hoping to trigger her gag reflex so she’d cough up any water in her lungs.

Getting no reaction, and finding no obvious obstruction, he rolled the woman onto her back, tilted her head back and lowering his lips onto hers, applied mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Her chest convulsed just as Paul was beginning to feel light-headed, somewhere around the fifth or sixth time he’d breathed into her. Quickly he rolled her head sideways, and she vomited up a couple of lungfuls of salt water.

Watching her for moment, to make sure she was breathing by herself now, Paul sighed. He couldn’t just leave her here to drown again. But it was doubtful if she’d wake up just yet. He had no idea who she was, or what she was doing here. He doubted she was any of their party, not wearing that nondescript robe, but she was undoubtedly solidly alive and mortal, at least for the moment.

Shaking his head he again cursed his sense of duty. There was nothing else for it though, he’d have to live a little while long and see her to safety.

Which meant signalling for the people that were probably looking for him by now, as he had no idea where he was, nor what direction the Yamato lay in. Drawing his gun he checked the clip, and pointing it straight up, fired.

The round arched up into the air like a shooting star in reverse, it’s brilliant white light reflecting in the black waters of the steadily growing saltwater lake.

Thermite rounds made for fairly effective signal flares as well after all.

He fired another round after a moment, and was answered by the booming roar of the Yamoto’s main guns firing a star shell, signalling he’d been seen. He put another round into the air for good measure, aiming in their direction to make his reply obvious.

Holstering his gun, he glanced back at the young woman he’d rescued, and found her staring at him wide-eyed. Raising his eyebrows in surprise at her speedy recovery he slowly held out his empty hands, trying to reassure her.

“You’re safe now...I promise I won’t harm you.”

Without thinking he’d spoken in modern Japanese, and for a moment a frown creased her brow. Then her face smoothed as she replied, in unaccented English.

“Who are you, who commands the heavens to thunder?”

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“Paul Holmes, Herald to… well, former Herald to Inari Okami. I guess.”

“Former?”

“She.. she didn’t make it. Who might you be and how did you end up here?”

The young woman frowned, a look of inward concentration creasing her brow.

“I… know not how I came to be here. I recall dying, then, I was here. Am I dead?”

Paul shrugged.

“You might have been a little bit. Your heart was still just about beating although you’d stopped breathing. So I resuscitated you. No big deal. Do you remember your name?”

“Yes… I am Izanami no Mikoto, mother Goddess.. or I was. I seem to be mortal now.”

Paul stared at the woman for moment, trying to process what he’d heard.

“You… you’re Izanami? The Goddess Izanami?””

“I am.. I was...I may be again perhaps.”

With a snarl Paul sprang forward, grabbing Izanami by her tattered kimono and hauling her to her feet.

“Damn you! Damn you to hell!!”

A firestorm of rage pounded through his mind, obliterating rational thought. Almost of their own volition his long fingers wrapped themselves around the slim pale column of Izanami’s neck and squeezed.

Izanami struggled, clawing at his arms, trying to free herself. But she might as well have been trying to fight some industrial machine of steel and hydraulics instead of flesh and blood for all the difference it made. Her struggles rapidly grew weaker as her abused lungs ran out of oxygen, her face purpling as her eyes flew wide in shock.

Some small, rational part of Paul’s mind noticed her expression. Fear, confusion, and bewilderment filled her eyes, as her lips moved in a silent plea; ‘No. Please… why?’ she mouthed.

Out of long habit Paul tallied the clues, despite his murderous rage and came to a conclusion… Izanami had no idea why he was killing her.

“You killed Inari!” he roared in her face.

With her waning strength she shook her head a scant fraction of an inch. With the last of her breath she managed to choke out a whispered denial.

“No..”

Paul stared into her rapidly dimming eyes, and read the truth there. Spitting a curse into her face he let go, pushing her away, sending her tumbling to the ground.

Izanami lay, gasping and coughing as Paul stood over her, furiously seething, struggling to regain control of himself. Fighting past his emotions he spoke in a low growl.

“Tell me the truth. You don’t remember anything, not even being dead, or what you did. Do you?”

Izanami shook her head, then painfully spoke, her voice rasping.

“No… I couldn’t, I didn’t.. Inari is my daughter! Why would I…?”

Paul walked a short distance away, and sat down bonelessly as the last of his strength left him. For a moment he said nothing, only looking up as Izanami crawled over to him, and taking his hands, looked earnestly into his face.

“I’m sorry. For whatever pain I have caused, for whatever wrong I have done to you that would leave you like this, I am so, so sorry...but I truly don’t know what you speak of.”

Leadenly, Paul spoke.

“You died. Long ago, too long to be reckoned, you died giving birth to the god of fire, burnt from within. You died in agony, and fell into death… but you didn’t die completely. Kami don’t die easily I’ve been told and you had enough strength left to somehow stop yourself from passing away completely, to create this place Yomi that allowed you to remain between life and death. But you became a rotting corpse and your brother husband Izanagi called you loathsome and rejected you, returning to the mortal realm.”

Izanami blinked, shaking her head.

“I remember him, but… he.. rejected me?”

“Yeah… you didn’t look your best. He freaked out, harsh words were said, you went insane and promised to kill every living thing on earth in revenge. Which is what all this was about… Took you a millennia or two, or seven, but you nearly succeeded. You went after the gods and goddesses first, got almost all of them too. You almost deprived the world of magic too. I’d guess because that would make your plan easier or something. But you didn’t reckon on one rather stubborn guy figuring out how to bring back magic, and a fox Goddess who was just crazy enough to make him her Herald. So, you killed Inari, holding her soul hostage to force me to undo my work. Which is why I’m here, I was trying to rescue her.. but it all went wrong and now she’s gone, poof! Into a cloud of sparkles and onto whatever comes next after life.”

Izanami stared into Paul’s face for a moment, then shifted, sitting on her heels in front of him.

“There’s a lot you said I can’t grasp.. but I know beyond doubt that my daughter, Inari is not dead. I think she’s ascended, left for the celestial realm for now, but I still feel her. Our bond is weak, but not severed.”

Paul raised an eyebrow, giving her a withering look of truly British skepticism.

“Uh-huh.. sure she is. And you are totally not saying that because I’ll kill utterly and completely dead this time otherwise.”

“Then kill me if you are so sure! But I tell you, she is not! Her spirit lives, just on a higher plane of existence. Once she has gathered her strength she may return.”

“Riiight…. Can you prove that?”

Izanami huffed in annoyance.

“Why are you being so stubborn, don’t you want her to be alive?”

“I’ll take that as a no… and because false hope is more painful.”

Izanami said nothing for a moment, her gaze searching for something in Paul’s face… then she sighed.

“I see. You’ve been hurt like this before. You want to hope, but fear it would hurt even more if it proved false. I understand. But I can’t prove anything to you, you have to do it for yourself.”

Paul glared at her.

“What is it with you Kami? Never a straight answer. Only riddles.”

Izanami’s lips twisted in an approximation of a grin.

“Now I know you’re a Herald and have spoken to Kami… very well. You’re her Herald Holmes-san. She and you share a bond. Search your feelings for the truth, and you’ll find her. Look past your fear of loss and your pain, and seek that small spark of warm connection instead.”

Paul rocked back, bracing himself, ignoring the sting as small rocks dug into the palms of his hands.

“If you’re fucking with me, I’ll make you wish you’d stayed dead!”

“Death isn’t something Kami fear…”

A rictus like smile played around Paul’s lips.

“I can think of things that are so, so much worse than death…”

For a moment Izanami stared, mesmerized by the cold lifeless void that seemed to fill Paul’s gaze, turning his eyes into ink-black pools. Then she shivered, looking away.

“I..I believe you. But I am not lying, Inari-chan lives. Look inward and find the truth. A Herald can always talk to their Kami no matter where they are.”

Paul’s lips twisted in something that might be mistaken for a smile.

“So… search my feelings for the truth, is that it?”

Izanami, oblivious to the pop culture reference, nodded.

“It is. Your bond with her should be strong enough to even overcome that.”

“Ok, you first then… lets see if you can find her and get a message through to her. Then she can meet me half way.”

Izanami huffed, and rubbed her throat.

“Alright, it’s a simpler matter for me too...oh! OH!”

Izanami’s eyes flew open, widening to the point she looked like some anime character, an almost comical look of shock filling her face.

“What the heck now Izanami?”

“I...I seem to have many more children than I remember!”

Paul blinked rapidly, surprised.

“You what?!”

“I can feel the bonds I have with those other Kami I created...and then there are many, many more that I don’t recognise! I...I can’t even count how many!”

Paul drew in a breath, and then slowly exhaled… thinking furiously.

“Okayyy…. Oh! I think I know what’s going! Ok, don’t worry about it. It’s a residual effect from your mad scheme. You’d captured and killed just about every divinity you could lay your hands on, but instead of destroying them you robbed them of their spiritual core, divine pearl or whatever you want to call it. Feeding on their energy You’d turned Yomi into a contraption to funnel the residual mana from the dead into a crystal, converting it to Divine energy, then used the other gods depleted cores to store the Divine power and feed it to yourself.”

“That...that’s monstrous! And impossible!”

Paul shrugged.

“Apparently not, you built a kind of frequency convertor to make it work using a fragment of your own dead core, so their energy matched yours. I guess when we broke it, it didn’t entirely sever the link between your spiritual core and theirs, so now you’re linked to just about every god and goddess in existence.”

Izanami shook her head, bewildered…

“I don’t remember any of that… I can’t even begin to imagine how I’d do that!”

“There’s a fine line between madness and genius it’s said… and you were definitely mad. So batshit crazy you’d gone through madness and carried on out the other side almost.”

Izanami shuddered.

“Perhaps it’s as well I don’t remember it…”

“Yeah, perhaps, at least not consciously. Alright, getting back on track, can you talk to Inari?”

Izanami frowned, concentrating, then shook her head.

“It’s.. too crowded? I can’t single her out that well. I can get a general sense of her well-being, but not anything more. I think she senses me, but she’s resisting. I suppose if what you say happened, she would be distrustful.”

“Yeah, just a bit...ok, let me see what I get. But I haven’t done this before. Come to think of it, I’m told there haven’t been any living mortal Heralds before now so who knows if it’ll even work.”

Izanami blinked.

“You’re a mortal?”

Paul who had been settling into a meditative position, sitting tailor fashion, opened his eyes and looked at Izanami with a single raised eyebrow.

“Yes, human. Can’t you tell?”

“Um. You don’t feel like one… your aura is far too strong for a start.”

Paul frowned, and then shrugged, closing his eyes again as he adopted the lotus position he’d learnt form Kate long ago.

“Well, I did get caught in the edges of a magic, anti-magic reaction, so I’m probably still carrying a lingering mana charge. That’s what’s throwing your senses off I guess. Now hush please, I’m trying to concentrate.”

Izanami nodded, then shook her head.

“It could be that… And don’t try to force it. Relax and let your thoughts drift. Don’t think, feel.”

“Easier said than done...I mean, relax? Here, now? Even if I could, I’m more likely to fall asleep than anything.”

Izanami laughed, then winced at what that did to her throat.

“Well, that would work too… she ought to come to you in your dreams as well. But I’m not certain you’d believe that.”

“You’re not wrong… Now shh!”

Izanami blinked, taken aback.

“I’m the Mother Goddess of all Creation, and you just dared to shush me like a child?!”

“Yes, and if you don’t stop talking you’ll find out what else I’ll dare to do. Now hush up, please!”

Izanami opened her mouth, then hesitated as Paul opened one eye to glare at her. Realising that Paul’s ‘please’ had been more of a threat than a plea, and she was presently without power and thus only mortal, Izanami opted to remain silent. Satisfied he’d gotten her compliance, Paul resumed attempting to meditate and contact Inari.

For long moments, nothing seemed to happen. Paul allowed his thoughts to drift, although they didn’t stray far from his memories of Inari, and of his worry. Then, just as he was becoming convinced that Izanami was lying despite her apparent sincerity he felt it, a confused sense of recognition, relief and finally a pure sunburst of gladness and joy washed over him, carrying the sense of Inari’s presence as real and tangible as her unique scent of fox musk and jasmine was.

Paul opened his eyes, half expecting to find her in front of him, but finding himself suddenly bereft of the warm contact again. He opened his mouth to plead, beg her to return… and stopped as he heard the crunch of tires upon gravel and the now familiar whine of the electric motor powering the Special Ops ATV’s.

Just when he didn’t want to be, he was found.

With a muttered curse under his breath at the timing, he stood up and waved at the mist shrouded figures still some distance off. Glancing at Izanami he frowned and sighed.

“Better let me do the talking. After everything that’s happened, the others might not be so forgiving as me. It might be best if we didn’t tell them who you are at first, ok?”

Izanami nodded, rubbing her neck where livid bruises were already forming a collar.

“Understood, but do you believe me now?”

“Yes. But now we need to figure out how to call her back… I think she’s lost or something.”

Izanami frowned, puzzled.

“Lost? But she should be at home in the Celestial city!”

“You destroyed it, subsuming that realm into Yomi… so if she can’t go there, where would she be?”

“I… don’t know?”

Paul glanced down at the befuddled Izanami sitting on the ground, a cold look in his eyes.

“Exactly. Inari is lost somewhere out there, between realms... and so are the others I suppose. But you and I are going to fix this mess you’ve made. Now shut up and follow my lead, and none of that ‘I’m a goddess’ attitude any more or so help me I will prove how mortal you are by turning you over my knee and spanking you. That is assuming someone else doesn’t work out who you are and put a bullet through your brain first.”

Izanami contritely, and without comment, tucked the remnants of her kimono around her and sat on her hands, managing to took as far from being an ancient Goddess as it was possible to get. Paul nodded, and turned to wave again at the approaching team, recognising Shoko on the lead ATV standing up in the saddle and waving at him over the Major’s shoulder.