Kiko stared at the Sato residence from across the street. Tomiso’s home looked more or less identical to the other houses of the street, and this street was just one of many like it.
However, Kiko could feel it wasn’t the same. It was hard to describe, but it felt cold, and unfriendly to her. Kiko sighed, trying to sort though and make sense of her feelings. Since becoming a Goddess she’d developed a sensitivity to auras, but unlike Inari or Shoko, she didn’t see auras, she felt them. This made sorting out what she herself was feeling, and what she was sensing from the aura of a person or place, somewhat difficult to distinguish.
Although that really wasn’t really the problem in this case, more the opposite. The tension and off-kilter feeling in that house was palpable from clear across the street… leading to Kiko’s current problem, as she really didn’t want to immerse herself in it, or even examine it too closely.
Still… she felt she had a duty, not just as a Goddess, or informal co-parent to Shoko, but as a human being and nominally rational adult. In her view, there were just some things that needed to be dealt with, and since she had the power to take care of it, it fell to her to do so as anything else would be negligence by her.
Despite her reluctance to wade into a cess-pool of rank emotions, festering hatred, resentment and… sadness?
Kiko frowned, there was something off-key but she couldn’t place a finger on it. Like hearing an out of tune instrument in an orchestra, but being unable to tell which one.
She shook herself, and after a quick glance for traffic, stepped resolutely across the street and up to the front door. She went to press the doorbell, but stopped as she took in the dented metal plate and missing button, almost as if it had been punched repeatedly until it broke. Taken aback slightly, she knocked on the door politely… and reeled as her senses were assaulted by the vision of a man, obviously drunk, furiously hammering on the door late at night.
Kiko took a half step back, just as the door opened revealing a young woman, who looked rather older than her years. She was dressed in sweat pants and shapeless baggy grey sweater that hid her figure. She looked care worn, her face pinched and skin grey, her eyes dull and almost lifeless as she looked down away from Kiko.
Kiko’s eyes widened… without asking she could feel the bruises hidden under her concealing clothing, the cracked rib that wasn’t healing right, and the soft tissue tears and bruises internally that spoke of abuse and even rape perhaps. But where she expected fear, she sensed a feeling of confinement, of something just barely held in, squashed down deep inside of her spirit.
Without a word Kiko reached out, and very gently placed her hand on the woman’s cheek. Her power sprang forth unbidden, and Kiko allowed it to flow down her arm and into the woman, healing and revitalising as it went.
Ms Sato gasped, and looked up in shock at Kiko, seeing her truly… without warning tears started to form in her eyes as Kiko took a step forward into the house, firmly closed the door behind her and enveloped Mrs Sato into her embrace..
By the time Reo Sato had sobbed out her story, the tea that Kiko had made had grown cold. Kiko sat, turning over what she’d learnt in her mind as Reo was in the bathroom, taking a moment to fix her makeup and calm herself.
Mr Sato had been a family friend of Reo’s parents, and was much older than her. He had been the ‘cool uncle’ to her in middle school, buying her drink and covering for her when she skipped school.
It had been inevitable that they ended up having sex, despite her age. Reo had desired Jun, and he’d been too weak and drunk to resist. However, at the end of that summer Reo had discovered she was pregnant, and Jun in an uncharacteristic display of maturity had taken responsibility for it.
Reo’s parents had disowned her, kicking her out of the house, so they had married and moved to this small out-of-the-way town called Kami to avoid the scandal. Reo kept the child, that had gown up to be Tomiso, she had felt she had to.
It was after that, things had soured. Kami didn’t offer much in the way of jobs with prospects, and Jun tried to drown in alcohol his growing resentment at being nothing more than an unimportant low-grade salary-man in a small coastal town. Reo’s pregnancy had been difficult, meaning she couldn’t do much, and her recovery afterwards was slow. Jun’s parents had been strict, and he saw the slovenly state of the house as a sign of Reo’s moral failure.
After that, it had been a downwards spiral, with Jun venting his frustration and resentment upon Reo, blaming her for everything that went wrong. It wasn’t long before he’d seemed to take a sick pleasure in being violent with her...and rough sex had turned into something darker, more violent. Although, strangely enough, never actual rape. Mostly because Reo had confessed in a shameful whisper that she perversely desired Jun to mistreat her.. that she felt she deserved Jun’s ill-treatment as punishment.
So, they stayed together, despite everything.
Kiko sat, wondering what to do next. She’d thought she had some notion of what was wrong, but this was so much more than she’d anticipated. As she considered what to do, and struggled with her own feelings, she heard the key in the lock and the front door opening.
“Reo! Where are you?!”
That rough male voice had to be Jun’s, Kiko hesitated, uncertain what to do or say, and was caught out as Jun came into the living room.
“Who the hell are you and what are you doing here? Where’s my wife?”
Kiko stood up, noting that although she wasn’t that tall, she was still only a hairs width shorter than Jun. Which made Reo taller than both of them.
“I am Kiko Kobe, Goddess..”
“The fuck you are! What are you doing here you crazy woman?”
Kiko blinked, Jun wasn’t drunk, although he had been drinking she could tell. He was just normally belligerent. She frowned, she could feel his resentment and foul mood but under that lay... fear? There were other details she could sense, such as he wasn’t even slightly attracted to her which was odd. That problem had become so common-place she almost automatically expected it. There was something about her divine power that tended to attract men, and some women, like moths to a lamp.
She narrowed her eyes, concentrating, and suddenly a vision of a naked Jun writhing in ecstasy underneath a golden skinned muscular youth fell into her mind. Her eyes flicked to Jun’s collar where a faint smear of gold body paint remained.
Things fell into place for her, and she sighed.
“Jun, I came here because of your son’s behavior at school, but having talked to your wife and seen you, I understand why he behaved the way he did. There is a common problem with all three of you.”
Jun stepped forward, and round the sofa attempting to intimidate Kiko, then stopped as he saw her fully. Kiko glanced downwards, and saw that she was emitting a soft golden glow and her feet were hovering an inch off the ground, again.
Jun’s eyes widened, bulging as he beheld her in her divine splendor. Kiko sighed slightly.
“Well, I suppose that shortens the conversation since I don’t need to convince you of my nature, or explain how I know certain things about you.”
Jun’s gaze snapped up to meet her eyes as he exclaimed.
“What? What things?”
Kiko didn’t need any divine power to see the jolt of fear at being found out, run though him. But her extra sense did give it context. Jun Sato was bisexual, queer tending towards being feminine, and terrified for being thought less of a man by those around him.
“Well, that you’re bisexual heavily leaning towards gay for a start and only pretending to be heterosexual. That you can only become aroused with Reo by imagining she’s a young boy, which is why you prefer her slender and ah… from behind. You fantasise about being more womanly... and would never admit that to anyone.”
Jun stared at Kiko opened mouthed for a moment, before almost collapsing on the sofa. After a few seconds longer he shook his head, and glared at Kiko.
“Reo told you that?!”
“She didn’t need to. She did however tell me about your resentment towards her, and how you feel like she’s responsible for ruining both your lives. Her injuries told me how you take that out on her, and lately on Tomiso. I would guess you’re afraid he’s turning out like you, which honestly, he is… he’s also a bully at school. Which is why I’m here because he decided to try and bully Inari’s daughter, Shoko, who is very obviously a kitsune.”
“D..damned yokai…”
Kiko held up a hand, stalling whatever Jun had been about to say.
“Save it… I might be a goddess but I’m still human enough to get angry if you start insulting Inari and my friends as well. I understand you’re just lashing out, and the idea of someone who can be either gender, or none, unsettles you in particular. However, I am inclined to help you, and your family, but I shan’t if all you’re going to do is blame defenseless yokai for your troubles and vent your bile on those that don’t deserve it.”
“What if I don’t want your help?”
“Then I’ll report you for domestic violence and child abuse. You’ll lose everything, and worse, Inari will hear of your misdeeds … and trust me, I am the much better option here! You don’t want to find out what she’ll do to you. She has some very archaic notions about revenge and justice and would blame you for your son bullying her daughter.”
Jun took a deep breath, and sat glaring at her for moment. She could feel he was prideful man on top of everything else, bound by what he thought of his duty and responsibility. He was not weak, despite everything. She got the sense that he was simply caught in an intolerable position, torn between what was his nature and what he thought he had to be and do, to be called a man. He wasn’t irredeemable, but a few more months, never mind years, of this crushing pressure, of being trapped in a role he wasn’t suited to, and he would do something to cross that line.
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“Jun? Darling…” Kiko heard Reo’s voice behind her.
She saw the flicker of emotion across Jun’s face, as she sensed the love he felt for her.. Not desire as a man for a woman, but rather the sense that they were, once upon a time, best friends. In that moment she had an idea.
“Reo, Jun… I think I know how to help the both of you, but it’s going to require some changes to you both.”
Jun nodded as Reo walked over to him.
“I… I accept we need help. I couldn’t...didn’t know what to do, how to fix myself and be a proper man. Please, help me… stop me desiring other men so I can be a husband and father for real and not have to pretend.”
Reo looked at Jun, searching his face, then she sighed.
“Oh… Jun! I am so, so sorry! I think I’ve always known you were different, but.. well I never thought...I mean you seemed happy with me?”
“I was my love, because it’s you...I.. I tried to ignore how I felt about… that. But it’s why I started drinking at first, liquid courage.”
Kiko clapped her hands to get their attention...sending forth another spray of golden sparks, to her mild irritation.
“Yes… well before you both start spilling any more of your intimate details, I said I would help both of you. Jun, your mortal body is a bit out of sync with your inner spirit, as is yours Reo. Which is perhaps why you were drawn to each other.”
The couple looked at her in confusion, causing Kiko to sigh inwardly. Clearly Jun was actually the more self-aware of the pair, despite his denial and self-repudiation.
“Alright, since evidently neither of you are consciously aware of what I’m talking about. Jun, you’re trying hard to be a manly man, based on what you think is socially acceptable for a man to be and to meet what you think of as societies expectations of a good husband and father. Am I right so far?”
Jun nodded wordlessly, a pained expression on his face. Kiko’s respect for him went up a notch, as he unflinchingly faced the truth as she spoke it deliberately baldly. Kiko sighed, and shook her head.
“Reo… honestly, you’re even more of a mess. The technical term for what’s different about you, that you feel is so wrong you need to use Jun as a proxy to punish yourself with, is gender dysphoria. Jun’s mostly happy enough being outwardly male, although his nature is more gentle and womanly, but Reo, dear, you feel like you’re wearing an ill-fitting costume, except it’s your body. Am I right?”
Reo’s eyes widened, as she slowly nodded, Jun looked at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time.
“I..had no idea Reo! I always saw you as the perfect woman that I had ruined!”
Reo opened her mouth, but no words came out. Kiko shook her head.
“That is, when you didn’t blame her for everything going wrong Jun..”
“No..no! You’ve got it wrong Goddess! Well… partly wrong. I blamed myself more for being too weak to resist her! Tempting me was just… well it’s in a woman’s nature to tempt.”
Reo shook her head.
“No Jun, no.. I wanted you desperately, to prove to myself that I was a woman, despite how I felt! It was all my fault… I think I sort of knew you were gay, mostly, and thought if I could get you to bed me that would prove how much of a woman I was! Then it became something else… I do truly love you, even now! I was trying to be the perfect wife for you!”
Jun nodded.
“I love you to...I just...I don’t lust after you. I’ve tried and tried...but your body is the wrong shape for me. Even though I love you as a person..just, not sexually. But… I liked the younger you, the tomboy rascal always getting into scrapes, the tough fearless you that... that would try to protect me..”
Reo sighed, nodding.
“I know...the thing is, I know I can’t satisfy you, truly. But I crave what you do to me, really. Even… even the bad bits. I just wish I could make you feel the way you make me feel.”
Jun turned to Kiko.
“You said you’ll help. Change me goddess...make me a proper man.”
Kiko shook her head, clearly she wasn’t getting through to Jun!
“That I can’t do. I can heal your body, but I can’t do anything much for the soul.”
Kiko held up her hand as Jun was about to speak, silencing him.
“What I can do is change your bodies so they fit your souls. Your relationship is still strong, despite everything. I think if I can do that, it’ll remove some of the tension caused by the conflict between self and appearance, and with some couples therapy, you can work on the rest yourselves. I’m not a fix-it-all person after all.”
The pair wore almost identical looks of confusion as they looked at Kiko, who sighed.
“Ok, I see I have to explain in more bold terms. I mean, I can make you, Reo, rather more male, and you Jun, a little more womanly. I don’t think either of you would want me to change you all the way, but I can give you what you desire most, and can’t get from each other at the moment. How does that sound?”
Reo exclaimed.
“Wait… do you mean I’ll have a...um.. man’s body?”
Kiko shook her head, then made a so-so gesture, willing herself not to blush.
“From the waist down, yes.. but not entirely, just the most important bit. You’ll have the best of both worlds.”
Jun’s eyes widened, and flicked down Reo’s body. He licked his lips and then asked.
“Um, do we get to chose the..ah.. details?”
Kiko had to bite her bottom lip not to laugh, as she nodded. Reo glared at Jun.
“Hoi, my body, my choice!”
Jun blushed ducking his head mumbling an apology. Kiko, watching the by-play, realised that Reo had been repressing more than one aspect of her nature. She’d been allowing Jun to be the dominant one in the relationship, but she’d overshot the mark and become almost a parody of the submissive wife. Which it would seem, was also not entirely to Jun’s taste, as likewise, he’d been trying to be a manly, dominant male...which was not his true nature either.
Kiko couldn’t help thinking that the entire mess could’ve been prevented if they had just been honest to both themselves and to each other right from the start. That, and occasionally actually talked about their feelings.
While the couple were mutually reassuring each other and discussing details, albeit very much euphemistically. Kiko thought hard about what she should do. She knew enough to know that she didn’t know enough to be tampering with how Jun and Reo felt. She could however change their physical forms laughably easily, thanks to Inari’s instruction… and Paul-san had more than once demonstrated that the power of suggestion was no small thing. She could give them bodies that matched their idea of what was masculine and feminine, and their feelings would shift to match simply because they’d think they ought to.
Kiko tapped her foot on the floorboards, and once Jun and Reo were listening, she spoke.
“As I said, I can change your bodies somewhat, although I think you’ll find that with that comes with some changes as to how you feel. You’ll need to be honest with each other though, talk about it and tell each other what you want, how you feel. Physically and emotionally. But you’ll need to allow yourself to settle into it, by giving yourself to permission to feel whatever, however, you feel. Do you understand?”
Jun nodded, as did Reo after a moment.
“Ok, with your permission, you first Reo.”
Reo stepped away from Jun, giving his hand a reassuring pat as it lingered on her arm. She nodded firmly at Kiko, squeezing her eyes shut.
Kiko did her best not to laugh as Reo so obviously steeled herself for an unpleasant experience. Shaking her head and not-quite suppressing a smile, Kiko leaned forward and exhaled over Reo, allowing the mana to flow out with her breath, and over and into Reo.
Reo made a small squeaking sound of surprise, as he body shifted form. She grew taller still by an inch or so, and her clothing stretched slightly as lean, hard muscles formed around her bones. Then she gasped, bending double and cupping her crotch in both hands.
“You might want to go change into something more loose, Reo. But I think you’ll find it’s just as you wanted.”
Reo nodded, and in a slightly strained voice thanked her, before hurrying past Kiko to the bedroom. Kiko turned her attention to Jun, who swallowed nervously.
Kiko smiled, and adopting a softer, reassuring tone.
“Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Reo was uncomfortable because some of her clothing was suddenly a bit tight. Something we all forgot about but should’ve been obvious.”
Jun laughed nervously as he nodded.
“Um.. yeah...if you made it as big as we talked about, it would.”
Kiko bobbed her head, partly in agreement, partly to hide her blush.
“You’ll have to help her with that, picking out under things and so on…it’ll mean a lot of shopping for women’s clothing. Something you have a secret passion for, yes?”
Jun nodded, and then raising his voice.
“Reo, honey… borrow a pair of my boxers for now. We can go shopping later.”
“Thank you dear!”
Jun looked back towards Kiko, and sighed.
“Ok… go ahead..”
Kiko crooked a finger, indicating he was to follow her. With some trepidation Jun let him self be lead out into the hallway. Kiko indicated he was to stand in front of the full-length mirror
“This is how you look now Jun.. and this is how you should look.”
Kiko passed her hand over the mirror, briefly infusing mana into the glass and silver, forming a simple spell to reflect Jun’s true nature.
Jun gasped as his reflection changed, his face becoming less lined and care-worn, his hair was fuller and longer, tumbling down past his shoulders in a glorious shiny blue-black waterfall. His body was less hunched, leaner, and fitter, with subtle flaring of the hips and chest.
“I… you… I look like a nightclub host! Um.. did you mean to make me look cute?!””
Kiko giggled, she couldn’t help it.
“Yes, well… decades of stress trying to be the wrong sort of man will take a toll on you. Jun, you are not a macho sort of man, any more than you’re a hard drinking sort of person. You have a gentle soul, you are a loving caring nurturing sort of man, with a strict three beer limit on how much you can drink.”
Jun laughed, albeit somewhat bitterly, but still.
“So that’s how it is? Reo would be better off..”
Kiko gently slapped the back of Jun’s head, just a tap to gain his attention, but it startled him into staring at her.
“Listen to me. You DO NOT need to be anything other than what you are. For who knows what reason, she loves you, as you are, not what you’ve been killing yourself trying to become. So, I’m giving you a chance. I will reset what the years have done to you, make you look like your reflection there, and for that you will stop being an idiot, and focus on becoming more yourself and forget about trying to become what you think everyone thinks you should be. Because honestly, I can tell you, nobody but you cares about it.”
“But…” Jun started to protest, only to be quelled by a glare from Kiko.
“Look… I know you have this idea that people would look down on you if you were to act the way you feel. That they expect you to behave ‘like a man’, whatever that is. But even before I became a Goddess I knew that wasn’t true, and now I know what people are thinking, what they’re feeling, around me all the time.. I know absolutely that it isn’t true. Most people honestly don’t think all that much about it, about what sort of person other people are. They just accept that that’s what they are, and move on with their day. Your friends might be a bit surprised if you change, but probably will want to know how you regrew your hair more than anything.”
Jun stood, blinking owlishly for moment, then sighed nodding in mute acceptance of reality.
“As you say Goddess… I..I think I suspected that. People really don’t think much about what or who is around them, not unless it affects them.”
Kiko nodded.
“Yes… it’s both a little bit sad, and a bit liberating to know that the people around you, don’t think about you all that much. Now then… shall we sort out the mess you’ve made of yourself worrying about nothing important?”
Jun nodded slowly.
“If you think this worthless man is worthy of it..”
Kiko took two steps forward and enveloped Jun in a hug.
“Oh hush.. no-one is worthless, least of all you. There, there, you’ve tried so very hard all for the sake of your family. Of course you’re worthy. But you can rest now, be yourself from now on.”
She stepped back, and gently turned Jun to look again in the mirror.
Puzzled Jun looked at her, then gasped as he realised his actual appearance was what was reflected there, no spell needed.
“Thank you Kami-sama! Thank you!”
Kiko shrugged.
“It’s a start, the hard work is up to you two. You might not be a conventional couple, but you are very much a pair.”
Kiko paused as a thought occurred to her...
“Um… Tomiso is at a friends house right now. Perhaps he could stay overnight while you two get reacquainted with each other… but you’ll need to talk to him in the morning. He has a similar nature to you both, not unsurprisingly .”
Jun turned to say something to Kiko, and stopped, staring past her. Kiko turned, and saw Reo stood, leaning on the doorpost, smiling as she looked at Jun.
Kiko swallowed… there was something very masculine about Reo now, and not just the obvious bulge at her crotch. She exuded self-confidence and strength. Kiko was more than a little shocked at the transformation in her attitude, which she knew she wasn’t entirely responsible for. What she’d done was like pouring water on a desert, from which had sprung a profusion of blooms.
“Jun honey… come here. Uh...Kiko-sama, words can’t express how much we owe you, but right now could you, um….”
Kiko nodded, feeling her cheeks going scarlet.
“Yes, of course. I’ll show myself out now… umm.. good luck.”
Reo laughed, low and throatily.
“Oh, Jun is going to need all the luck I think…he owes me a lot of payback and I intend to collect it now.”
Kiko could see Jun swallow from where she stood, equal parts of fear, arousal and fascination on his face.
As she hurried outside, Kiko couldn’t help wondering if perhaps Tomiso might be better served by staying at a friends for a week… it might take that long for his parents to work out things between them. Either way, he was going to come how to a very different relationship dynamic, one that she hoped would be healthier and happier for everyone.
Once they stopped behaving like horny teenagers that was.