The Gods
Several of the Gods were sitting in front of a large viewing spell, getting ready to watch one of their favorite past times-mortals killing each other. None of the ones gathered were any of the Major Gods, those were usually too busy to show up for all but the most major battles, so it was quite surprising when the door blew open, and Majick was hurtled threw the door, followed by Justice, Life and Family, Madness and Fluffy. The assembled Minor and Local Gods scattered away from the thrown God, not wanting to draw the ire of the powerful and clearly upset Gods.
“ Now sit down and watch what your neglect has wrought, Magick,” Madness said, bending the offending God in half and placing him in a seat.
“BBBAAAHHH!” Fluffy said.
“Be nice, you two; Majick did only make us destroy two prototypes before he agreed to see what has happened to his Magic Guilds while he’s been experimenting,” purred Life and Family while she settled Majick more comfortable in his seat.
“BBBAAAHH?” Fluffy asked
“No, while I agree what his people have done is reprehensible by the law of their lands, they are innocent,” boomed Justice in a sad, quiet voice.
Stomping his hooves and lowering his horns threateningly, Fluffy spoke, “ BAH! BBAAHH! BAH!”
“ NO ONE IS DENYING YOU YOUR DUE; JUST WAIT A BIT, ” Madness said while gently stroking the upset deity. As his stroking was causing Fluffies coat to change colors, it was, surprisingly, helping.
“Can you please talk to me instead of about me? I still don’t see why you guys think this is my fault. So what if I disappeared for a decade or two to experiment, and the mages got uppity?” Majik whined.
“A FEW DECADES? You haven’t given your Temple more than a yes or no in more than FIVE CENTURIES!” Life and Family yelled. “I have TWO realms of responsibility that are far more work than yours, and I still MAKE time to speak to my clergy and followers.”
Kicking the offending God in his shin, the Goddess sat down across from him and crossed her arms.
“Brother, we are not truly angry…” Justice was interrupted by an angry bleat but continued as if he had not been. “…we just want you to poke your head out of your lab a bit more, maybe get an assistant. Inspiration has a very lovely Unknown Goddess that she has been trying to get a job. I could set up a dat…err interview if you want.”
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“I do not need a. dating service,” Majick said defensively.
“ It ’ s starting, ” Madness said.
The screen lit up, displaying an advertisement to take a vacation in Lust’s private realm before cutting to a scene already in progress.
“Magister Jerome Halrond, surrender yourself and the Death Mage you are harboring to the Guild for Judgment!” the Inquisitor imperiously demanded.
“The Duke is acting on behalf of the Temple of Fluffy, the Protector of Children, Inquisitor. Your Guild has no stake in her,” Inspector Rochelle replied.
“You sheep lovers have no say in what happens with Mage concerns; that thing needs put down before it kills half the city,” the Inquisitor replied.
A fearsome “BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” tore from Fluffies throat as he transformed into his battle form and disappeared.
“HE SAID WHAT?” screeched Chester from a corner, forgetting to meow like she normally did.
Chocking sounds emanated from all over the room as every God or Goddess choked on their beverage of choice or coughed up popcorn. Majicks jaw simply hung there at the impiety of the Inquisitor.
As Fluffy bit down on the Inquisitor's head, several of the more passive Local and Unknown Gods lost their lunch. A herbivore should not have teeth that would make a kraken or dragon feel inadequate. Nor should he lick his lips while bleating with pleasure and satisfaction like that.
The spell then created a split view, one side showing Fluffies and the Duke's troops easily handling the Guild members, and the other followed Fluffy as he settled onto the lap of a young girl to get cuddles.
“ WOW, most of my supplicants aren't insane enough to insult a priestess to her face,” Madness said. “ Props to him. I think I would have liked him. ” He then grabbed the soul that had made its way to Majick for reuse and stuffed it in a pocket. “ I can make better use of that, thanks. ”
“This was not the first such display by your followers, Majick,” Life and Family said, waving at the screen. “I have had to do similar to others. Others here could tell you the same.”
“MEOW!” yowled Chester with indignity.
“Same here,” yelled Francine, Goddess of Hairdressers.
“I see; maybe I have been too uninvolved,” Majick said thoughtfully. “Justice, who did you say had a Goddess looking for work? Was it Inspiration?”