Alessandra and Helga
Alessandra was having a confusing but good day. It had started bad with the Boss Man finally catching her and trying to kill her. Then she woke up with a man grabbing her arm. After that, she had been scared by Beard Man, fed by Nice Duchess Helga, and given TWO pretty dresses. She then met Magic Priestess and rode in a carriage. In the carriage, she heard Nice Duchess Helga and Magic Priestess talk about stuff she didn’t understand, but they were nice and hadn’t hurt her, so she mostly ignored them; the city was much more interesting than the Slums. She decided that this was a good day. Now they were at the ‘townhouse,’ whatever that was, and two more priestesses were on the ground calling Magic Priestess “Archbishop.” She wasn’t sure what that was, but she remembered other Priests and Priestesses’ grumbling about an “Archbishop” making them work at the soup kitchen, so she guessed she was important. She decided not to bother her about more magic and moved to hide behind Nice Duchess Helga. Always best to hide until she knew if people would hurt her. Priestesses usually didn’t, but better safe than beaten.
“I’m glad you got here quickly; it makes things easier,” Magic Archbishop? said. “I have an important task for you two. Please make no mistake, it will seem simple, but it will take both of you to complete. This child,” motioning to where Alessandra had been, “who seems to have disappeared, needs looking over. She is an untrained Death Mage with a phobia of Life Mages. I have chosen to place her under the Goddess’ protection. We will provide Priestess to watch over her until she learns control of her abilities.”
Alessandra knew what protection meant; the whores always complained about having to pay the Bad Men for it. She knew if you didn’t pay, you got beat. Maybe these were some of the Bad Priestesses. She peaked around Nice Duchess Helga’s dress to ask a question.
“I know what Protection is. How much will it cost?” she squeaked out. “I’m just a street mouse; I can’t pay for Protection.”
The kneeling Priestesses looked at her with shock, Nice Duchess Helga sighed, and Magic Archbishop looked at her confused. Alessandra figured she had said something wrong again and tried to hide. Nice Duchess Helga didn’t let her, gently grabbing her shoulder and turning her to face her; she knelt to look her in the eyes.
“Alessandra, it is not that type of protection. This type means that Archbishop Octavia is going to help keep you safe from the bad people that want to hurt you. Now please be quiet, or I will have to put a Silence spell on you,” standing with another sigh, she said, “You can now hide again.”
Laughing, Magic Archbishop turned back to the Priestess, “Now that the misunderstanding is cleared up,” she paused, shook her head, “stand up girls, this isn’t some High Holy Day.” The priestesses stood. “That’s better. You two are to go everywhere with Alessandra as Caretakers, not aa a guard,” she gave the Priestesses a stern glare. “Her talent is dangerous; she is not; she is just a scared and confused girl.”
She leaned towards the Priestesses and motioned them closer. When they were very close, the Magic Archbishop covered her mouth, and Alessandra could not hear her, but the Priestesses started nodding a lot. She decided she was right; Archbishops could be scary. Realizing something important, she tugged on Nice Duchess Helga’s dress to get her attention. She looked down at her with another sigh.
“What, Alessandra?” she said in a tone of voice that Alessandra knew she would be in trouble if it wasn’t very important.
“Ma’am, I need a toilet,” she said, hopping from foot to foot. “I can just run behind a wall, but I need help with the undergarments.” For some reason, a look of horror crossed Nice Duchess Helga’s face. She peed behind walls all the time; they were a good hiding spot everyone used.
“Archbishop, conversation times over. It is time for your Priestesses to earn their pay; follow me to a toilet. They need to help her undo her undergarments quickly,” she said with a smile at the priestesses.
****
After safely getting to the nearest toilet, Helga decided that she liked having Caretakers. She knew that once Alessandra figured out how to tie her undergarments, she wouldn’t need help in the toilet; she was just glad she didn’t have to deal with it right now. Hearing soft laughter from behind her, she turned to the Archbishop. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at the woman.
“And just what is so funny, Your Holiness?” she asked. “Was it watching my exalted body running to a toilet? Or that a street mouse does not know how to undo her undergarment?”
“I’m sorry, Duchess, none of those. It’s what those two girls will be going through the next few weeks. They are young, and newly ordained, but they are certified Caretakers, and they each have a powerful blessing. They were noble girls themselves,” Helga started to interject, “not from one of your rivals, minor nobility from the far north. They have always worked with the older children who don’t need help dressing though, so other than training….” She trailed off in another fit of laughter. Collecting herself and taking a deep breath, she continued, “I chose them as carefully as I could in the time I had. I only had a limited pool to choose from, and they were the only noble Caretakers I had with the power to suppress her Death Magic. When I have time, I will find replacements if you want. I plan to replace them with Paladins when I can, but for now, they are the best I can offer.”
“While I understand time constraints, today has been full of them; we will talk about you sending unknown nobles into my house. On another note….”
“I DON’T CARE IF THEY GET IN THE WAY! YOU HAVE TO PUT THEM BACK ON! NOW STOP KICKING ME!” came a loud voice from the toilet. Hearing this, Helga’s glare broke, and both women laughed.
After collecting herself, Helga continued, “On a different note, you are correct; this will be fun to watch.”
****
Alessandra was, at the moment, a very unhappy girl. It was embarrassing to need help in the toilet, but she needed help with these blasted undergarments. After getting those taken care of, one of the priestesses tried to lift her onto the toilet. She would get even for that. At least they turned around while she was peeing.
“Done,” she announced, hopping off the toilet. Bending down, she started trying to work loose the knots holding the undergarments to her legs.
“What are you doing?” Priestess One asked, turning around.
“Trying to undo a knot,” Alessandra answered.
“I can see that; why are you trying to undo the knot?” Priestess One asked.
“To take off the undergarments. AH! Got it,” she answered with a smile. She started on the other knot.
“Stop that. Unless you got pee on them, we need to get those back on. The Duchess and Archbishop are waiting,” Priestess Two said, reaching for her hands.
“NO! I don’t like them; they get in the way when I need the toilet. They also itch,” Alessandra said, trying to bat away the priestess’s hands.
“Stop that, Alessandra,” Priestess One said, also reaching for her hands.
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“I’ve been fine without any ‘til now,” she said, trying to shock them. “Why do I need them now?”
“Got them, hurry up, Suzzane,” Priestess One said. “You’re a young lady; decency must be maintained at all times, that’s why.”
Alessandra started lightly kicking her legs; she wanted to annoy the priestesses, not hurt them.
“NO! They itch and get in the way!” she said.
Suzzane, being on the receiving end of the kicks, lost her temper and yelled, “I DON’T CARE IF THEY GET IN THE WAY! YOU HAVE TO PUT THEM BACK ON! NOW STOP KICKING ME!”
Realizing she may have gone too far, Alessandra stopped fighting and let them put the undergarments back on.
****
Hearing the door opening, Helga and the Archbishop put on serious faces. Two disheveled Priestesses and a young girl, looking just as disheveled but wearing a grin, stepped out. Helga crossed her arms and glared at Alessandra, whose grin disappeared.
“I believe an explanation for kicking a PRIESTESS is in order, young lady,” she said, motioning for Alessandra to stand in front of her. Alessandra obeyed and got a sullen look on her face.
“She tried to put me on the toilet,” she said, pointing at the taller Priestess.
Helga looked at her for a few seconds before realizing that was all Alessandra was going to say.
“That explains nothing. How did her trying to pick you up lead to refusing to wear your undergarments and kicking one of them?” Helga demanded, recrossing her arms.
“It was embarrassing, so I wanted to get even. I didn’t wanna hurt her, so I stopped when she yelled,” Alessandra answered in a small voice.
Helga knew she had to nip this behavior in the bud and came to a quick decision. Looking at the badges on the ever-present guards’ belts, she pointed at one and said, “Follow.” Taking Alessandra by the hand, she led the girl into the nearest room. Taking a seat, she positioned the girl in front of her.
“Your behavior in the toilet was unacceptable, Alessandra. I understand you have had no one to teach you these things, but your attitude when I asked for an explanation shows me you knew what you did was wrong. Am I correct?” Alessandra nodded. “I have to give you a punishment; no, it won’t be the Life Mages. I cannot send you to bed without supper; that would be just another day for you. I am going to spank you so you will hopefully remember this lesson and not do this again. This is not a beating; I am not angry with you, just upset and disappointed. Do you understand?” Alessandra nodded. “I hope you do.”
Helga gently pulled her over and bent her over her knees, and firmly swatted her a few times on the rear. When she finished, she gathered the quietly sobbing Alessandra in a hug.
Between her sobs, Alessandra said, “I’m (sob) sorry I (sob) upset you, Helga. (Sob) I’ll try to be good. I’ll wear (sob) the undergarment if (sob) you say so.”
Holding back a chuckle at the girls’ fixation on the undergarments, she said, “Yes, you need to wear them. I will teach you how to tie them up later. Now you must apologize to the Priestesses. Think a minute about what you will say to them, then practice with me.”
Still holding her, Helga was pleased to see that Alessandra appeared to be thinking about what to say. Alessandra took one last sniff and nodded firmly.
“Ready! I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” Alessandra said.
“Short and sweet. That will do for today; we will work on your speech later. Let us go apologize,” Helga said, setting Alessandra down and getting up. Nodding to the guard, they headed to the door.
Helga was surprised when she re-entered the hallway to see that the young Priestesses looked contrite and had not fixed their robes or hair. Glancing at the Archbishop, she raised a questioning eyebrow and received a small headshake. Not understanding, she assumed the other woman had a point to make and dropped it.
“Alessandra has something she would like to say to you,” she said, looking at the priestesses.
Alessandra, looking contrite herself, said, “I’m sorry for acting like a brat.”
“Apology accepted,” the Priestesses said in unison.
“Now Yvette has something she would like to say,” the Archbishop said, pointing to the taller priestess.
“I’m sorry for just trying to pick you up; I should have asked if you wanted help,” Yvette said.
After a nudge from Helga, Alessandra said, “Apology accepted.”
“Suzzane, your turn,” the Archbishop said.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you; I could have handled that better,” Suzzane said.
Not needing another prompt, Alessandra quickly replied, “Apology accepted.”
“Good, now let us not speak of this again,” Helga said. “Girls, please wait in that room,” pointing at the room she and Alessandra had just left. “A maid will be along shortly to lead you to the baths. Dinner will be late tonight, so a maid will lead you to the children’s rooms when you are finished. I will send for you later.”
After a bit of coaxing, Alessandra went with the Priestesses into the room. Helga then led the Archbishop away.
“I think it is past time to find Hector and the Investigator. I would not be surprised if Jerome has returned by now,” Helga said, leading the back to the foray. “I am curious why you didn’t let the Priestesses fix their clothes and hair?”
“Too many members of my Clergy are putting too much emphasis on appearances lately. It's one thing to be slovenly, but disorder from honest work is not shameful. I do not expect one lesson to change their ways, but they will get many over the next few weeks. Hopefully they stick,” the Archbishop said with a sigh. “They are good pious girls but still have too many noble attitudes.”
Helga nodded in understanding. She got directions from the doorman to Hector and the Investigator and asked after Jerome and learned that he had indeed arrived and was with Hector. Leading the way to the main library where the others were waiting, Helga asked one last question.
“Why did you not inform us you were the Archbishop from the start?”
“Two main reasons,” Shrugging she said, “One, no one ever asked my rank. Two, in my many years of service, I have found that I get a truer impression of people’s character in how they treat those of lower social standing. I have blocked many adoptions because of how the prospective parents treated others. You have treated your retainers and servants with nothing but respect. Disciplining Alessandra for her stunt, which by the way, was funny, sealed my good impression of you. Obviously, I must still observe Duke Halrond some more, but I believe he will pass as well. And three, it got me out of the temple incognito. All the bowing and scraping that goes with the position gets old.”
Their arrival at the library cut off further conversation. The guards seeing their approach opened the doors for them. The three people inside rose in greeting. Helga walked over to Jerome and kissed him in greeting.
“I am glad you made it back safely, dear. Was it hard?” Helga asked.
“Not really; I’ll tell you about it later. Let me introduce Investigator Rochelle of the Order of Fluffy the Compassionate and her assistant’s Counselor Ufton and Counselor Rathmon,” Jerome said. “Investigator, Counselors, my wife, Duchess Helga Halrond.”
Nodding in acknowledgment of their bows, she said, “My pleasure; forgive me for saying that I wish we were not meeting in this manner.”
“No apologies needed, My Lady. These are far more pleasant circumstances than most for us of the Order. It’s far more pleasant to be summoned than following an Inquisitor breaking in a door,” the Investigator said. “If what Magister Hector has said and implied, we may finally be able to bypass the City Guard and actually help the street rats and mice in the Slums and The Wet.”
“Well, now that we’re all here and introductions are complete, let's start getting you what you need to do just that, Investigator,” Jerome said, taking control of the meeting.