This story is a pure bullshit and nonsense. If you don’t like what you are reading. You are most welcome to stop reading. But if you are in for some crap, welcome to the Satanhood.
I’m trying to make it as if ‘you’ are the camera-man who is recording Satan’s life blog.
P.S This story has nothing to do with real religion that you know in real life.
P.S.S THIS STORY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH REAL RELIGION THAT YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE.
Said it twice, because its important. The name that I used is just a parody for some spices.
***
A few days had passed since the Winter Comiket. I spent too much time in Human world. Just so you know, Demon loses all their power when they visited human world. Unless they are ranked Chief or above, they won’t even be able to materialize into physical form in human world. On the other hand, it is different for a fallen angel such as Lucifer and me.
We can materialize ourselves into human form, however we lost over 98% of our power due God’s punishment, and we use the remaining of our power to hide our dark wings. There are several occasions when we don’t have to hide our wings at all. Whenever there’s an event in Akiba or a fan-meeting in any bookshop. I never hide my wings; instead I spread it out free into the open and let people takes photos of me.
Whenever I went to a Cosplay Event with Lucifer in our fallen angel ‘outfit’, girls will swarm over us and asked us to do poses for them. There are about 48 Satan X Lucifer poses, I was a bit reluctant to do it at first, but as the girls demand the poses to be posed, I found that their affinity to Hell is getting even higher than their affinity to heaven.
Well, there is no harm doing some fan service for a future neighbor of afterlife.
What can I say, God made me almost too perfect to be ignored. I even have my own fans.
What?
Why is my narcissism level is over 9 000?
You silly <3
It’s not 9 000, it’s only over 8 000.
Putting that aside, lately I felt weak and my limb is hurting, especially on my upper body side. It is true that I am aged over 3 trillion days and night but I’m not ‘that’ old. I’m a very attentive fallen angel. I make sure to dye my wings black every 50 years and goes to the barber to trim any bad feathers.
It must be the side effect of staying too long in human world. I think I will go back to Hell now. Now how where did I put my Helephone again? Ah… Here it is.
The number is 10088XXXX
Me : Hello Hellian transport?
Helephone : The number you have dialed is not enough, please press 2 more numbers to connect to Hellian transport.
…
Did I press the wrong number?
Dammit! Now I have to walk to the Gate instead.
What? Where am I going you ask me?
I’m going to the cemetery, where else?
Just so you know, there are a lot of ways for you to get to the Netherworld . If you’re going to visit Netherworld by conscious alone; you can use a black cat as your catalyst between Netherworld and Human world. Or you can just visit your nearest cemetery. If you’re a demon or a person with high affinity with afterlife, you can see an intercom glued at the left side of the cemetery gate.
Netherworld door is guarded by Sun Goku.
Which Goku you ask me?
That Goku who journeyed to the west, who else?
From Netherworld you can get to Underworld which is filled with hot sexy bastard like me. Or you can go to the Gaia. Or what most people call as Heaven. Where… there a lot of sissy angels who speaks in a weird way.
Psstt… Come to hell. We got cookies!
Anyway, I am now at the gate of Netherworld.
*Bzzztt*
Intercom : No salesman allowed to enter the premise of the supreme Netherworld security guard.
Me : Err… No. I’m Satan.
Intercom : You’re what?
Me : I’m Satan-sama.
Intercom : Are you that Satan who lied about being the strongest in Tenkaichi Budoukai?
Me : No that is Satan from Dragon Ball… But I am Satan the Fallen Angel. You know? Kami no Datenshi.
Intercom : Show me your ID.
Me : Ah Okay.
*rustle*
Me : Now where did I put my ID? If I’m not mistaken I put it inside here *check pocket*. Eh? It’s gone. Give me a few minutes please.
Intercom : Hurry up! The commercial is almost done, I don’t want to miss Suzumiya Haruhi Endless 8.
Me : Okay okay… I think I put it inside the plastic bag where my doujinshi are.
Intercom : Hmm? Dounjinshi?
Me: Yes… I just got back from Winter Comiket.
Intercom : Psstt…http%3a%2f%2fi.imgur.com%2f9o27ug3.gif [http://i.imgur.com/9o27ug3.gif]
Me : ?
Intercom : Get closer…
*Draw nearer the intercom*
Me : What is it?
Intercom : Do you have Otaku in 10 000 B.C ?
Me : I think I hav…
Intercom : I’ll let you pass if you let me borrow it for 1 years.
Me : Hmmm…. It’s a very hard request.
Intercom : Come on make your decision fast. I don’t have enough time, the show is almost starting.
Me: Okay deal! But promise me you will give it back one year from now.
*Handover the douijn*
Intercom: Sure sure sure… Don’t worry. As a service, I’ll open the gate straight to Underworld for you.
Bribery is a common thing between the dwellers of Hell. If you ever done a bribery, you are already one of us! That security guard must be a new monkey; if he knew who I really am he would be shitting in his pant already. But it’s okay. As I am in a very good mood now I will let him off the hook. Be grateful for that. I just can’t wait to get back to my mansion and read all of the new doujin that I bought.
I arrived at the Underworld’s gate. The distance from the Hell’s door from my mansion is 200 KM. Looks like I have to call my loyal Skeletal Wyvern to give me a ride back home. I took a deep breath, so deep that Lucifer called me through telepathy if I saw Adele. I opened my mouth wide and I screamed out,
“Aaaaaaaaaachoooo!”
Damn! I think I caught a cold.
What? You thought I’m going to scream to my throat and summon my loyal Skeletal Wyvern? Please…
*Pulled out the Hellaphone*
Me: Waiwai-tan
Wyvern : Yes master?
Me : Pick me up at Hell’s Gate.
Whyvern: Yes master.
After 5 minutes of waiting for my loyal Skeletal Wyvern while reading Homunculus work, Waiwai-tan had finally arrived.
Waiwai-tan is my giant Skeletal Wyvern. Our history goes back few hundred years ago. It was when I first arrived at Hell. What, you want to know how we met? I’m not really in the mood right now but as I don’t have anything to do while waiting to reach home, I think I’ll tell you.
I was having a slow stride along the stream of blood when my stomach suddenly growl. I pulled out one of my long hair and used it as the thread to for fishing. I put some magic in my hair, and made the end of it a bit curly like a hook. I then throw it out into the open stream.
A few minute passed and I felt as if I caught something.
There is no response, it just another dead corpse.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
I pulled it out and only saw a fish bone caught in my fishing hook. Shit!And I threw my fishing hook once again. Minutes after minutes, I kept on getting fish bone. As I had enough of that shit I decided to fly into the open air.
I formed my fist into the shape of binoculars and placed in in front of my angelic face.
Spoiler :
http%3a%2f%2fi.imgur.com%2fjKcv0e3.png [http://i.imgur.com/jKcv0e3.png]
Oh damn… I zoomed in too much that my vision reached Human World.
WILD WYVERN APPEARED!
I dashed cutting through the air and slapped the Wyvern once, its neck turned at 180 degree and was defeated instantly. I didn’t even give it a chance to fight back. What can I say, I intent to play around and have an epic fight worth to exaggerate but I’m just too strong. If Saitama can defeat any monster with one punch, how can you expect me Satan-sama who is even stronger than Saitama and Goku to not finish it off with a slap?
What did you say, I may be even more powerful than Saitama and Goku combined, but can I do 360 no scope?
I’m so strong I don’t even need to do 360 to execute a complete massacre.
Let me tell you, when God ordered me to live in hell, I was demoted from being God’s Army Commander and He appointed Gabriel as the new one. I protested greatly. I was so mad at God that I even when to His Castle. However, Gabriel who knew my plans bring forth God’s Army of angle and surrounded me.
I was outnumbered.
You can say it was like the unfair battle at Fisherman Island.
I was surrounded by millions of angels from every corner and from every direction. Needlessly to say that I’m strong, I don’t even need to power up to Super Angel 4 to eliminate those pieces of shit. I only flick my fingers thrice and all of them got their ear drum burst. What?
If ‘Onii-sama’ can disable an experienced magician with a flick of his finger during Nine Schools Competition, I who are on 3 worlds levels difference from Tatsuya, I only need 3 flicks form my finger to disable them all.
What? You want to know the truth?
Okay okay okay I got it. You are really persistent aren’t you? But that’s okay. That is what I like about you <3
I used my
But well of course that was God. Who can win against their God anyway? If I were to put it into comparison my full strength is God’s 3/10 strength.
I said it once but I will say it twice.
My point is! I’m so strong I don’t even need to do 360 no scope to execute a complete massacre.
Because that is important!
Okay! I arrived at the front of my mansion.
*Opens the door*
Hmm…
My mansion is too big, it feels so lonely when I'm the only one living here. Maybe I should invite a few Succubus to come and play around next Saturday.
As you can see, my mansion is quite exotic with animal’s heads. I hunted down any animal that I found when I was at human world.
Hmmm? What? What am I going to do now?
I’m going to sort out my doujinshi now. Now let me see, which shelves was it. Ah! Here it is, the majestic shelve of HOMUNCULUS. Hmm… I wanted to read it now but I don’t want to get recorded while doing ehm… ehmmm. *Cough*
*Cough*
I mean, I don’t want to bore you watching me reading doujin. You surely don’t want to bore yourself right? With that said, I’ll introduce you to one of my friend. Belphegor, he’s a witch doctor. Or you can say He’s a demon who’s specialized in medical.
A few hundred years ago he was just a low class Demon, but he went into Underworld International Butler Academy and raised his rank there, and become one of 7 Hell’s Supreme Leader. If I’m not mistaken there was another demon who were fighting against Belphagor for the spot, what was his name again? Hmm… Oh! Sebastian. He used to be Belphagor greatest rival, but I heard he’s now contracted with a brat in human world for a foolish revenge.
I used to gave a great rival too, his name was Ammon, he was one of the 7 Hell’s Supreme Leader. But then I kicked his ass and take over the spot with overwhelming power like Zaraki did to the ex-Gotei captain.
I’m thinking to go to Belphegor place, but first, I’ll make a call. He must be busy right now.
*Pulls out Helephone*
Me : Bel-chan.
Belphegor : Wat?
Me : Do you have time? I’m going to visit your place, it seems like my body got weaker again. I just went to Human World a few days ago, and rent a motel for a week. Due to that my body feels really weak right now.
Belphegor : Why didn’t you invite me?
Me : I thought you were busy.
Belphegor : Nah… not really, I’m bored to death here.
Me : But you were never alive to begin with though.
Belphegor : Anyway, I’m going to do your medical checkup through helephone. Do you legs tremble when you walk? Are you able to jump?
Me : I’m legs feels fine, I can even run faster than Eyeshield 21.
Belphegor : How about your hand, does it feels heavier than usual when you’re lifting out your doujinshis’
Me : Ah… I do feel a little bit weak when I was carrying my doujinshi.
Belphegor :Do you have a girlfriend?
Me : I’m Satan, in what history does the Demon Lord Satan have a girlfriend?
Belphegor : I see. I got an ointment readied; it was made from a virgin Succubus blood. Apply it on your right hand. It had worked hard for the past few days.
Me : THANK YOU MY FRIEND!
You see. Belphegor is so good at medical treatment that he can already know what the cause of disease without even seeing you in person. That is one of a few more hundreds redeeming qualities that he had to become one of Hell’s Supreme Leader.
Wait… Ointment for my right hand?
*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*
What? Don’t look at me with that kind of eyes. I know that you guys do it too. Don’t lie to me, the last time I visit a human world I saw one of you hid your ‘items’ in “C:\Windows\System32\drivers\studies\meth\” okay!
What’s more its “censored.avi”.
You are way even worse than me!
You can’t judge me! Only God can judge me!
A-Anyway… I’m going to take a rest now. I’ll see you next week if when I have BS to spout.
ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬ Author's Note▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ
Read my other stories. NON-Fantasy
There is no way my childhood friend can be this cute!!!
Spoiler :
Do you know what is love?
You don’t? Same here. People said that when you’re in love your hearts tightening and it would not stop beating fast.
I somehow felt the same, toward a certain someone. Lately, the way I looked at her somehow began to change. But it must be my imagination right? Because there is no way my childhood friend can be so cute!
Categories: Original, Romance, Comedy