“Do you feel anything yet?” Barkly nudged his junior with a sharp elbow as they laid there side-by-side on the plastic tarp, waiting for the blessing from the God of Survival to take effect. Leffy lifted his hands up to his face, staring at the back of his palms, turning them around and inspecting his fingers for obvious changes. He lolled over to the side to face Barkly and shook his head.
Nada.
Barkly sighed and inched over a tad for a little leeway to get comfortable, lying back onto his interlocked hands. Outside of the initial slow-roasting of their elvish tummies by a pair of ghostly hands, they’d yet to see any real effects from the ritual that had been conducted. Barkly was starting to think that the whole thing had been some illusion; or a shared hallucination from eating deer meat that had gone bad. The alleged God of Order certainly seemed real enough to him now, but perhaps the logical explanation here was that he had an overactive imagination. Dreams had a way of making you believe in the fantastical and impossible, after all.
Or maybe he was in a coma.
It’d been just under four hours now, and still nothing! Well, the God had said it would be seven hours, but shouldn’t these things happen in stages? Surely there’d be some alterations by now? Fur or something? Maybe a new claw or two? Heck, he’d even take a couple extra fingers – just do something! Barkly inhaled deeply. No, if she said it was seven hours, then he’d wait the full seven hours. Nothing he could do but wait. Just… wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Ugh.
Barkly fidgeted in place, the plastic squeaking as he shifted about on top of it. He was now officially completely bored out of his mind. Usually he’d be out doing something by now – maybe polishing his bladework or exploring another corner of the lands surrounding their tribe. Definitely not sitting on his bum and staring out into space like some invalid! That stick Treen might be content with that sort of dull monotony - but not him!
His philosophy was that the elves had been given the gift of extremely long lifespans for one reason and one reason alone: to experience all that life had to offer! To leap off cliffs, to go out into the wild and challenge ferocious beasts - to have a good time! It was why Barkly never stayed in one place for long, and why he flitted from lover to lover – he didn’t want to be chained down by the boring rules and traditions that dictated the lives of so many of his fellow elves.
What was the point of living so long if all you did was plop your ass in a tree all day and shovel deer meat into your mouth all so you could excrete it out again later? You might as well feed yourself to a bear at that point – at least you’d be providing some value to an animal that was struggling to survive – to live!
He groaned out loud, sitting up. Time to make like a rabbit and scamper. Wasn’t like that scrawny woman was going to be able to keep him here, anyways.
Order was currently standing about five meters away to observe the two – out of the splash zone, so to speak – so she’d immediately caught sight of Barkly pushing himself off the mat with an irritated grunt and stomping over in the direction of the trees. Not good. That was supposed to come later. If that elf went over to talk to a friend or two, it’d throw off the timing of the transmissions; she’d not know how extensive the spread of the godly transferrals might have been by the time she’d caught the contamination. And while Order did intend to have at least a few more samples to confirm the results of the experiment, she wanted them segregated into neat little groups before she started. Not sprinkled in here and there in the canopies of the trees; it’d be a nightmare to get them all.
Plus, it’d be a pain if the effects of the “blessings” from Survival turned out to be undesirable. Under the circumstances of not knowing how widespread the infection was – why, she’d be reluctantly forced to exterminate every single mortal in the vicinity of the infection!
Yes, while it’d certainly provide her some temporary satisfaction in terms of getting back at Life for siding with Stories over her regarding the restrictions on her experiment, obliterating the whole civilisation just for something as petty as that felt wasteful in her mind. She’d already planned to leave at least two males and two females untouched at the end – so they’d be able to replenish their numbers after a century or two.
Like a normal person.
The God walked briskly over and cut him off just as he was about to step off the plastic sheet.
“What’s wrong, Barkly? There’s still,” She closed her eyes to consult her mental clock. “Another three hours to go. Are you feeling under the weather? Or is it that you need to relieve your bodily functions? You can go in one of the bushes at the side of the holding area; I promise to allow you some measure of privacy during the affair.”
“No, I don’t have to take a dump – and what makes you think I’d have to ask your permission? I’m almost a hundred years old; I’m basically an old codger already! No, the thing is - I’m bored, lady. Absolutely mind-melted. I’m going off to see Blossom; that’s my new girlfriend if Treen hasn’t told you yet, and I’ll spend the rest of the three hours or whatever cuddling with her, if that’s alright with you.”
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Order frowned and stretched out a hand to halt the elf in his path. He stopped moving, and slowly lifted his gaze to hers, mouth twisting into an incredulous sneer as he coldly eyed the girl that was a head smaller than he was.
“Are you… trying to pick a fight with me? For your information; I’m one of the most prolific hunters of my generation. I’ve taken on bears solo and won. I’ve out-sprinted deer and ripped out their hearts with nothing but a single blade. And I know that you think that just because you’re some God, that somehow means that us lowly mortals have to listen to everything you have to say. But if you lay that finger on me, I swear to my mother in heaven (may she rest in peace) that I’ll remove it from your hand and force it down your throat. Understood?”
Order didn’t budge, her palm still outstretched, just a hair away from Barkly’s chest. She stifled an indignant retort. Mortals were so dumb; even the ones that could talk could do naught but boast and yap, ignorant of the world outside of the well they lived in.
Gods were Gods for a reason. You wouldn’t call a bear an ant if you knew for a fact how large and powerful they were.
“I’m very willing to, ‘throw-down with you’, as they say, if you intend to continue back to your abode. But I don’t believe that it would be in your best interests if you do decide to leave this holding area. Even discounting the fact that I would lay you flat in an expedient fashion, you do understand that there is another God present at this moment that could just as easily render you immobile, right?”
Now it was Barkly’s turn to frown. The two large hands that had gripped his waist just a while back were still fresh in his mind. If that God was still here, then with those powerful appendages of his, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Barkly’s legs were in real danger of being snapped off at the knee. His arrogance diminished somewhat as he considered carefully whether or not he wanted to take the risk that he might end up two legs short, and still have to wait the full seven hours anyways - this time while nursing a shattered ego and an even-more-shattered set of walkers.
He swallowed audibly.
Order hadn’t lied per say; yes, it was true that she could definitely dispatch this elf within the blink of an eye, but the two lesser Gods had long since floated off in the direction of the elven treehouses, stating that they’d at least like to go sightseeing while this whole lot of nothing was happening anyways.
It wasn’t often that Stories laid his eyes on mortals that could speak fluently in a language that he could understand, and Survival wanted to see if he could incorporate any new entertainments the elven race had come up with in his kingdom back home.
“…ok, fine. But seven hours on the dot, and I’m out of here. Got that?” The prideful elf caved, as Order expected he would. He treasured having all his limbs intact, after all.
Order gave a small, stiff smile in response. “I wouldn’t want to keep you here any longer than I have to. You have my word; the moment I’ve noted the development and subsequent expression of the blessings, you will be free to do as you please.”
Imbecile.
She watched closely as the elf trudged back to his place next to Leffy, making sure he didn’t make any sudden breaks for the trees. Speaking of which… where was Treen during all this? Order peered out over the plastic mat, spotting the girl crouched next to a bush in the far corner of the holding area.
Order couldn’t quite make out what she was doing, but from the way she was positioned… Order smiled wryly to herself. Ah, she was probably engaged in the act of excretion. Best to leave her be, then. So with that mystery solved, Order returned to her spot overlooking the two samples and continued her observation duties.
Treen, of course, wasn’t pooping. She was, at this moment, performing a set of mental calculations based on the position of the holding area in relation to the house of the chieftains that were currently resting in the treetops of the elven tribe. And this back corner was one of the blind spots to the God of Order and Knowledge; it was just far enough that you’d be able to make out a speck in the distance that vaguely resembled a crouching humanoid, but not close enough that you’d see the features on their face.
Treen was banking on the fact that when night fell, there’d be enough overlapping shadows and shifting of leaves in the night breeze that the God would overlook her momentary disappearance. Elves could see just as well at night as they did in the day; she was willing to bet that that God wouldn’t possess similar capabilities.
Treen sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t know if this was the right choice. If it was true that these blessings were legitimate in nature and that the Gods came in peace, then rallying her people to chase them away might have the unintended effect of provoking retaliation from these deities. And from what Treen had gleaned from her brother’s excited gesturing, there was at least one other God accompanying the small one; a God that seemed to be as huge as a redwood, and on top of all that - completely invisible. He could crush them all without them even knowing. She shuddered at the thought. But Treen pushed out that hypothetical scenario from her mind, choosing instead to focus on the plan to get back to the treehouses as quickly as possible.
No point planning for the worst case, she thought. What I’ll do here tonight is for the sake of our tribe.
And I’ll make sure that they’ll live on - even if I have to die to do so.